This is going to be an interesting article since it’s about marriage. And to all the Hausa people and the rest of the world, marrying a Hausa girl is quite a rollercoaster. So for the rest of the world who don't really know the process of how to marry a Hausa girl,...
Love. The burning sensation you feel whenever you see that person. The sense of deep and tender attachment. The mortal yet physically beautiful feeling (It's Shakespeare oo, not me). The most stubborn yet persistent illusion. Oops, sorry, I got carried away. That was...
One of the wedding traditions in Hausa culture is the ‘Kai gaisuwa’, which loosely translates to formal greetings. It is the official introduction of both parents to each other and where and when the wedding date is usually fixed. The average time is usually between 3...
Ebira pet names are for people whose partner is an Ebira person. Are you in a relationship and want to express romantic feelings for your significant other? You need to name your love. You want to be able to call them by name, and you want to be able to express your...
Jealousy could result from being suspicious towards your partner; resentment towards someone for a perceived advantage or superiority they hold, and envy towards another’s possessions, or a close concern for someone. Arguably, jealousy is something everyone is born with; it is one’s inert ability, funny. In some cases, jealousies are advantageous while in some cases, problematic, which could even result in a breakup. There are different reasons or causes of jealousy in a relationship, some of which are:
Some relationships end between partners due to incompatibility, disagreement, infidelity, and the likes, while some are as a result of external forces outside of those in the relationship. If the latter is the case, there is a proclivity that one will feel the need to see, talk to, or mingle with their ex because the love is still there. Now when this happens, the present partner, be it the guy or the lady will start to feel jealous.
Also, in a situation whereby a couple is divorced and both are happily married to different people, there is a need for the ex to communicate with each other most especially if there are kids in between; the wellbeing of their children is their responsibility. Now as a partner of either of the two, jealousy is something you will feel. You can’t help it.
This is one of the common causes of jealousy in a relationship, only a few persons will disagree. Most people like the feeling of “I am the only for my man/woman and so, no one from the opposite sex should come close to my man/woman”.
In Northern Nigeria, it is evident that men and women hardly engage in boy/girl friendship and so, when you see your partner with the opposite sex, jealousy will set in. On the contrary, this is not true among the educated Northern Nigerians, majorly.
Everyone by nature needs attention – attention from the opposite sex, be it your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife.
When you care about someone, you will require lots of attention from them. If that attention you crave is channeled in a different direction, jealousy will set in. In the case of a boy/girl relationship, a partner (married couples including) feels jealous when the other is busy concentrating more on other stuff or devoting most of their time in, maybe sports, work, studies etcetera.
Married couples, especially husbands, complain a lot. Most women tend to give more of their attention to their children than their husbands. The attention decreases as the number of children increases. They kind of feel their husbands are grown-ups and so can take care of themselves, but their kids are vulnerable. This results in jealousy on the side of the husbands.
For instance, I once read a story online by a whore saying, a man asked for her hands in marriage simply because he doesn’t get the attention he wants from his wife. She (the whore) eventually turned him down because she doesn’t want to be in any committed relationship. How absurd!
This is the fear of been replaced due to one’s incompetence, complacency, or inability to do certain things for their partner. This comes into play when you feel you are not exactly what your partner wants in a man or woman, or when you are not self-confident.
Insecure feeling tends to make you feel jealous whenever you see your partner with someone who has what they want or need that you don’t. This feeling can be blood-sucking; one needs to find a way to do away with it.
It might interest you to read on Improve Your Self-Confidence With These 6 Proven Ways and The Feeling of Insecurity and How to Avoid It.
In the Northern part of Nigeria, sometimes siblings find themselves living in the same house or compound with their wives.
Oftentimes, women tend to disagree on things amongst themselves by default – things that may not even matter at all. This causes jealousy in a situation whereby one of the siblings happens to be richer, more handsome, has a sense of dressing, etc. than the other. The latter’s wife may sometimes get jealous of the former’s wife. This gives birth to an ‘unhealthy competition’. In some cases, this jealousy or rivalry is stronger and fiercer than one between or amongst co-wives.
Trust is something partners need to earn between themselves, not demand. In a situation where a partner is making frequent calls or being visited regularly by a colleague of the opposite sex from the office or workplace, this causes jealousy; or a situation where partners have been engaged in pre-marital sex (in the case of married couples and boy/girl relationship), it is easy for jealousy in regards to that surface.
Whenever your partner is not with you, you feel they are with someone else. Avoiding premarital sex and unnecessary communication between you and the opposite sex will play a huge role in eliminating jealousy between partners.
This is one of the causes of jealousy in a relationship. Perfectionism is an unwillingness to settle for anything less than perfect. Some people are perfectionists; a brother of mine is like that too. Everything and everyone has to be perfect or else, not significant.
People like that get easily jealous when they see you (their partner) with someone better than them.
Loosen up a little, and you will find everyone perfect in their own way, you perfectionist! Lolz.
Another cause of jealousy is when you keep following or stalking your partner; knowing his/her every movement, monitoring their phone calls or text messages, unnecessarily meddling in their affairs, and the likes.
No one is perfect; we all make mistakes. By so doing, you will find things that are hurting and make you jealous – things that you will later wish you never saw or heard.
Some people are fond of doing so, most especially men. Do not do this to your partner most especially in their presence. Not cool!
Everyone needs to feel they are the most attractive person their partner’s eyes have ever seen (even if obviously, the reverse is the case), anything short of that could be a disaster.
Guys, STOP IT!
If you are feeling jealous in a relationship, chances are your partner already knows, or they don’t. In either case, let them know what makes you jealous through effective communication means, and help them know how to avoid it.
Keeping it all to yourself won’t solve anything. Trust me. If they probably haven’t noticed you are jealous, telling them will be a good idea.
All the above-mentioned causes of jealousy and more could result in nullifying a relationship.
A jealous partner is oftentimes too busy to see the reality of things around their partners; they only tend to see what their hearts or minds want them to see.
The best and ultimate thing to do is to TRUST your partner more than anyone, and it’s a GOAL!
If you find the article useful, kindly comment on the comments section, and also, tell which of the causes of jealousy do you think was left out?
Related: 7 Reasons Why Relationships Fail
Should couples continue to post their pictures online after marriage? In this age of technology, it has become normal for couples to post their pictures online. Others even go as far as posting every single detail of their lives. Even with everyone genuinely wishing...
Forced marriage is an issue majorly affecting people in northern Nigeria. For this write-up, I had to consult with a few people who did not want their identities disclosed, and I spent countless hours conducting research. What is Forced Marriage? One is being forced...
Do you think your husband is controlling? Being in a marriage where your husband is controlling can be very trying, controlling husbands often try to limit and manage the activities of their spouses. This controlling behavior could really put a strain on a marriage,...
There are subtle signs on how to know when someone is flirting with you, even if they do not want to show it and try so hard to hide it. Most of these signs can be noticed through their body language. But some like these women's body language are mostly misread....
Said to be the most common mental health problem, depression is a complicated disorder characterized by feelings of extreme sadness that affect the emotions, thoughts, and behavior of a person. This leads to feelings of helplessness and worthlessness. Dating someone...
You may become afraid of someone due to that person pestering you, endangering your life, or simply being a nuisance, and you will need to defend yourself against that person. One of the things you'll need to protect yourself is a restraining order. The following...
Weddings are one of those events common to all cultures and tribes. It's a time when a man and a woman are legally joined as one and declared husband and wife amid witnesses. However, wedding procedures and requirements vary from one tribe to another, this is what...
Everyone hopes to meet that one special person who will transform their lives for the best. We want to meet someone who lightens up our lives every time there is a contact. We want to feel special and loved in every relationship or situation-ship we find ourselves in....
Maintaining the intimacy of marriage and other important relationships in our lives can prove to be a challenge, especially when it comes to friends of the opposite sex. Maintaining a same-sex friendship outside marriage might seem relatively easier when compared to...
Did you know that understanding women's body language will help you know if she is interested in you? Also, it helps you grow more empathy towards a woman as you can tell how she is feeling at the moment. This is because women aren't complicated beings as we often...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Single is not a status. It is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.Prixie There are two types of single people;...
A relationship is a way in which two people or two groups feel about each other and behave towards each other. To me, a relationship is when two people in love with each other...
Have you been crushing on someone and they haven’t noticed you? Have you ever loved somebody so much that it makes you cry? Again, have you fallen out of love in the sight of...
When it comes to weddings, guests look forward to food, dress, venue and of course those wedding souvenirs they'll be taking home. I know I do. So what are those wedding...
There are different ways to tell if someone likes you or not, but you have to be very careful not to misinterpret peoples’ gestures. Any mistake could be very embarrassing and in...
Do you have an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend you seriously want to get rid of in your mind? Do you have an ex-wife or ex-husband you wish to take off your mind? If yes, then you are...
What makes life complete is the relationships we make and keep, we tend to learn, make mistakes and grow through them. But truth be told, relationships are not easy, they require...
There is nothing as heart shredding for a lady to be with a guy who isn't serious about you. This isn't healthy for anyone irrespective of gender. It hurts more than a cut from a...
In this article, we will be looking at how to impress a girl on a first date. I will be sharing my experiences, be ready to have an interesting read. How to impress a girl on a...
0 Comments