10 Things You Should Never Say On a First Date

Updated: Oct 16, 2021
By Aisha Zakari
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Planning a first date can be nerving, overwhelming, and awkward but most people pay attention to other things and rarely focus on things to say and things to not say on a first date. Dates are usually formal for the first time as people get to know each other better, look for the best location and select the perfect outfit.

In this post, I’ll be making a list of those words and sentences you shouldn’t utter on a date. Let’s talk.

1. Leave Your Business Out of It

You are a person of ambition and success doesn’t mean you have to put it all up in your date’s face talking about how much you’re worth or how many houses you own. By doing this, you come off to your date as being rude, impolite, boastful, and cocky; this just ruins the chance of a second date. There is a thin line between being confident and boastful so try to balance this and make it clear to your date in the politest way.

A tip I’ll give here is to make sure you’re not talking about yourself the entire time. Engage with your date, ask them about their dreams and aspirations, what they would like to be. Give them attention, a listening ear and with this, an interesting conversation ensues. Get to know them better, that’s why it’s a date.

2. Politics and Religion Are a Huge Turn-off

People are different and definitely have preferences, choices, and opinions but when it comes to me, things not to say on a first date are politics and/or religion.

As passionate and interesting politics may be for you, it may not be for the other party. As such, avoid mentioning this as a conversation on a first date. In a way, politics and religious topics tend to upset people because there will be room for heated debates and different opinions. This is a date to get to know each other not to know why the Buhari’s wedding souvenirs was what it was.

But if your date is into politics, oh my then ride on. It’s your date after all.

3. Do Not Bring Up Your Ex

I must confess, I’ve been here before, and believe me, I messed up things with someone. Took me a while to realize and admit but oh well. Talking about how Isah stood you up or how Hauwah cheated on you with your best friend is a major No. Leave negative Isah and Hauwah at home!

Bringing up your ex on the first date sends the wrong messages to your date. It sends:

  • You’re still stuck and very much in love with them
  • You are instantly a turn-off
  • You’re a baggage

People don’t claim baggage in their life. I mean they want a happy relationship with someone that is not difficult or wishes her ex were still with them. Rather, focus on this person sitting in front of you, get to know them, explore new relationships. Past relationships could be talked about later in the future when you’ve created a strong bond and relationship with them.

4. “You look better in pictures”

Hold up, what’s that? That is completely unnecessary and should not be uttered to someone at all and definitely not a thing to say on a first date. For me, I believe when it comes to social media and posting, deciding on a picture to make public can be quite difficult and whatever a person posts, they believe that is their best.

What your date looks like offline and online shouldn’t be a topic of discussion even if you think they don’t look good. It’s either you point it out in a polite way or don’t tell them at all. Saying such words immediately kills their confidence and self-esteem. That is not how you want to go down this road with this new person you just met.

5. “I’m not looking for anything serious”

Sigh, were you asked? Zip that mouth already! Your date is not a hook-up or a one-night stand and neither are they cheap or wasting their time coming on this date with you. Saying such utterances is not a thing and should be off the record.

Yes, going on a date with someone means opening up to new exploration and ideas of relationships but not all the time. Dates could be harmless sometimes, you could end up being just friends with them and that’s okay.

6. Leave The Marriage Talk Out of It

There is no need to scare your date off with the plans you’ve had to have 3 kids named Hassana, Abdullahi, and Muhammad. Dates should be something fun and thrilling to do, not nerve-wracking and asking tricky questions such as:

  • “Where do you see this relationship heading in 3years from now?” My dear, it’s not an interview!
  • “Do you see me as wife material?”

It’s a date, have fun and get to know each other better. If anything will happen along the line, let it come naturally.

7. Put That Phone Down

This is my top list. When you’re on a date for the first time, your phone should be put away at all times. You’re on this date to talk, socialize, chat, get to know each other better, and have fun.

It is rude to even check your phone on a date unless it’s an emergency or something serious and your attention is needed. Remember, this person took the time out of their day for this date, make it count.

8. Own Up to Yourself

You don’t need to apologize for what you’re wearing or how you look or why a pimple popped out on your face this wonderful evening. However, your look and whatever you’re wearing, shouldn’t be a thing to worry about.

Words like that are things to not say on a first date as this tells them that you’re insecure and that you need reassurances to how you look. And this, my dear inevitably becomes a huge turn-off for them. You don’t need anyone’s validation to feel and look amazing.

Remember, first impressions always matter, and on dates, this tends to determine if you’ll be getting a second one or not. So, blow their minds away.

9. Past Sexual Experiences

This is a complete No on a first date. You do not ask your partner such and you definitely should not talk about your own sexual experiences. It is of no use to both of you at that particular place and time.

The sole aim of this date is to know each other. So, instead of talking about how you went three rounds, why not ask about your date’s dreams or what kind of pet he/she likes? Talk about something interesting and leave that out of the equation.

10. Keep the Attitude Away

It is believed that a way to know a person’s character is how they behave with people around them; for example, the waiter/waitress and staff at the date location. So, be on your best behaviour and be kind to people to impress your date. Remember, not only on a date night should this be done. Be kind always, let humanity live.


Now that you’ve read these things to not say on a first date, go ahead and lookup for the best location and the perfect outfit. Go on that date, have fun and give your date a fun-filled conversation they will not forget and will definitely ask for another.

I’ll be here in the comment section, tell me how that date goes.

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  1. Precious Alex-Toji

    This was a good read. I’m going to try this out soon with my crush 🥰

  2. Aisha Zakari

    Make every moment count boo!


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