8 Ways of Dealing With Nigerian Parents

Updated: Mar 29, 2022
By Happiness Hassan

My parents are extremely strict you may say as a Nigerian child, and you’re currently finding out a thousand ways of dealing with strict Nigerian parents, just to air your views and be independent. ‘Why can’t I have my freedom for once’, ‘sincerely, I feel like a prisoner in my father’s house’, ‘i hate to push around and be controlled like someone without a will’. The above statement and its likes are what you hear when you come close to Nigerian children, especially teenagers. 

Yeah, I know that because I once wore those shoes and made those statements when I was much younger. I can relate to those painstaking experiences you get each time you’re being forced to do something, and it looks as though your opinion isn’t worth considering. However, are Nigerian parents strict? Besides, what could be their reason for this?

Now, before we answer that, I need you to understand that most of Nigeria’s parent’s mode of discipline is unique and in the end, it’s worth it. You may not understand why they ask you not to wear that dress, or not to move around with certain friends, or why you were scolded for sitting amid elders when a private matter was being discussed. However, when you finally move out to the bigger world you will be grateful to them.

Are Nigerian Parents Strict?

Yes, they are and that’s just the truth. You can’t disobey an order passed across to you without getting punished. Unconsciously, they administer your punishment to you even before listening to your explanations.

Let’s look at it from this angle, you went shopping with your mom and came across an elderly person. Your mom greeted her/him and you unconsciously forgot to greet. You may think everything is alright until you get back home, I believe you know the rest of the story as a Nigerian child. But, after the punishment, you wouldn’t need anyone to remind you before you accord respect to elders.

So, their being strict is just their way of imbibing good morals into you and ensuring you become a better person. Just that they take this act to the extreme! Sadly, if care isn’t taken their purpose for being strict will be nullified as the child becomes rebellious. In response to this, flexibility is more effective than consistency in parenting— You should try that out. 

Furthermore, there are ways of dealing with strict Nigerian parents, you could learn to prevent them from going extreme and make them understand you more. Also, as a Nigerian parent, this is the correct way to discipline your child.

Ways of Dealing With Strict Nigerian Parents

1. Obey Their Instructions

It gladdens the heart of every Nigerian parent when their children obey their instructions. As a child, being disobedient to your parent’s instructions is never going to stop them from assigning household chores to you or make them love you. 

God gave you as a blessing to your parents, hence, be always willing to run errands for them especially little errands like get me this or that, or just wash my car, or go to the market.

When they see your obedience, they will always have a rethink before punishing you when something goes wrong. Neither will they impose their will on you. But, if you disobey, or you always complain or give funny faces when sent, I tell you the truth you’re giving them more reason to be strict on you.

2. Be Respectful

The attitude of respect is an effective way of dealing with strict Nigerian parents because you can’t fight them by being disrespectful— It is never going to work out that way. All parents want to be respected and honored by their children, especially fathers. If you fail to respect them, they will get it through the tough way by being strict on you. 

Oftentimes, you may have needs or requests you want them to give to you, but since you can’t show them some respect, your needs are ignored.

Fortunately, you can fine-tune your parents to always meet your needs by giving them respect and regard. This is often reflected in your words, actions, and behaviors.

3. Be the Best at All You Do

No parent is proud of a child that’s a failure or brings shame to the family. In contrast, they love to brag about their child to others if that child is doing well. Now, ask yourself, what will make my parents strict on me if I make them proud at all times? Especially when your academic performance is excellent. Always aim at the best academically, career-wise, or at the skill you’re currently learning.

For instance, during my secondary school days, I always came back home with good grades and received a lot of awards. My parents were always proud of me and provided for my needs even without me having to ask for them. You can try that out too.

4. Live a Trustworthy Lifestyle

There is no use living a lifestyle that your parents can’t vouch for you in public or in your absence. The less transparent you’re or secretive the more doubt you create in the minds of your parents. In response to this, they will make sure they discipline you in their unique way. Similarly, when you engage in telling lies.

Therefore, when dealing with strict Nigerian parents ensure you’re open to them, let them be able to count on you as their child. Also, you don’t have to lie about your fees to get more money from them—Learn to be content with what their hands provide for you. Most importantly, don’t betray the trust they have given you.

5. Understand Their Facial Expressions

I haven’t meant any Nigerian parents that don’t use facial signs as a means of effective communication, especially mothers. In essence, facial signs are nonverbal means of communicating information. So, Nigerian parents use facial signs to pass across a message to their children when they don’t want others to hear/understand their conversation.

Therefore, you will do yourself a lot more good by understanding those facial expressions and signs, this will avert lots of punishment from your lane.

6. Make Yourself Useful

Put a smile on the face of your parents by making yourself useful to your parents. In other words, assist them where need be. Perhaps, they have a store they manage or a business they run, instead of sitting and doing nothing, go and help them. Dealing with strict Nigerian parents becomes easy when your parents feel your impact around. Let them know they are missing something when you’re not around and watch them meet your needs as well.

7. Practice Effective Communication

Are they opinions you want to air out but haven’t gotten that opportunity? You may be trying to make your parents understand your point of view but your trial seems useless. However, learning about the 7’c of communication is an effective way of dealing with strict Nigerian parents, this will guide you on how to better state your point. In a nutshell, not every hour or atmosphere is best for communication.

Hence, if you desire to make your parents understand your perspective, approach them when they are in a good mode, likewise, ensure to select your words wisely and keep your tone calm.

8. Get Support When Forced

Perhaps, you find yourself being pressured into a career you don’t like or something else outside your will, worry less, and continue reading. Rebelling or disobeying or fighting your parents won’t solve these issues rather get the backing of a trusted third party.

Furthermore, this person has to be someone who can relate to your parents and explain things better to them. Oftentimes, your parents might not listen to you, but when they see another parent or adult they will find more reason to.


In a nutshell, dealing with strict Nigerian parents is doable when you follow the right procedures. Hence, you don’t have to feel maltreated or neglected emotionally nor do you have to use dubious means to make your parents understand you. In essence, be patient while applying the above-listed method.


Are Nigerian parents strict?

As earlier established they are, although we can say mothers are more strict than fathers. This is because their personality; introvert or extrovert can Influence their attitude.

How do you fight strict parents?

You don’t have to fight them negatively as you will become a parent someday and get to understand their plight. In place of fighting, understand them and use positive approaches like obeying them, showing respect, and living a trustworthy lifestyle.

Why are Nigerian parents strict?

They are strict because they believe it’s the fastest way of disciplining a child and imbibing good morals in them.

How do I break displeasing news to my parents?

This can be difficult as you may have envisioned their next violent reaction. However, you can approach them stylishly, when they are in a good mode or use the help of a trusted third party.

How can I impress my parents?

From my experience, the fastest way to impress Nigerian parents is, be the best in all you do. Also, you can win their heart by being respectful, assisting them, and obeying them when sent.


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