Sex QnA Week

Sex QnA Week

Question 0001

Gender: Female

Location: Kogi State, Nigeria

Age: 24

I have caught my husband cheating on me twice now, but I didn’t have the courage to confront him about it. The women he mingles with aren’t physically endowed than I am. I am considering using kayan mata (Aphrodisiac) to spice up my sex game, maybe it will get him back home. My dilemma is if that is a good sustainable solution or not. What do you advice?

Answer

First of all, we all know nothing can stop men from cheating… maybe when all the women in this world go extinct. Even at that, I am not sure.

As a woman in a relationship, the earlier you understand this and make peace with it, the better for your heart. If a man will cheat or get himself another wife, he will regardless of what aphrodisiac you use and what crazy monkey sex position you invent.

Men will always be men.

Cheating is a sport, and there is a special kind of satisfaction to winning the game that faithful partners can’t give, and it mostly isn’t because the partners are doing anything wrong. People who cheat will always cheat. Don’t kill yourself. You might not even be the problem.

If your man doesn’t cheat, you are one of the lucky few, appreciate him every opportunity you get cause there are a few of them. Or maybe you just haven’t caught him cheating yet.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy your husband or let him enjoy you as much. If you two find the aphrodisiac working fine for you, use them. Enjoy the good money you spent on them with your husband. If you don’t, there is always another raggedy side woman that will. Play your matrimonial part well and leave the cheating soul in him to the Supreme Being to judge.

If you know any correct aphrodisiac plug, kindly share their links with us all. [wpdiscuz-feedback id=”s43pjdr2yo” question=”Please leave a feedback on this” opened=”0″][/wpdiscuz-feedback]

Talking about sustainability, it all depends on the size of your pocket. But overall, I think you should find out what he wants in a woman. What is his ideal concept of an attractive woman before you make any decision.

Question 0002

Gender: Male

Location: Kaduna State, Nigeria

Age: 37

My first wife wasn’t satisfying me sexually. I tried taking a second wife thinking it will move her to make an effort and unfortunate for me the second wife was worse. I am in between the decisions of marrying another wife or leave the two of them because I can’t even look at them both with desire. I will be looking forward to your logical answer Hajja MB.

Answer

I feel you should talk to both of them or go see a sex therapist in person if there is anyone around you. Let them understand what your perception of sex is and you understand theirs. This is very important for orgasmic satisfaction to occur. Talk to your wives.

You could marry a third wife and she could, unfortunately, be like the rest or even worse. Then you will have 3 problems to deal with.

Let’s assume the third wife is better in bed than the rest that will be putting yourself in a position that will be hard for you to be fair to the rest of your wives because the heart always wants who pleases it.

I believe fixing the women you have at home is by far a better sustainable solution than bringing in another woman. Don’t run away from your problems for they will always follow you. And I will never advise you to divorce your wives except if they are violent, or they consciously go against the core pillars of your religion. DIVORCE is a topic for another day.

Question 0003

Gender: Male

Location: Kano State, Nigeria

Age: 23

My wife told me she was a virgin before we got married. After the marriage, I found out that she is so skilled in bed. This issue has been disturbing me for two months now. What do I do?

Answer

You see, the art of lovemaking is an inbuilt skill for some people. Just like you never had to learn how to breathe oxygen in and out or feel attraction towards the opposite gender, some people don’t have to learn how to make good love.

While others have to learn the art, you should be excited your wife knows how to. People pay good money to sex therapists and on aphrodisiacs to be able to give good sex.

Question to all men, do you prefer your woman innocent and naive or do you want a woman that is innocent but has an <em>ashewo</em> vibe in bed? Let us know, please. [wpdiscuz-feedback id=”s43pjdr2yo” question=”Please leave a feedback on this” opened=”0″][/wpdiscuz-feedback]

Regardless of whether she learnt it from reading books, girls talks, from her instincts or from firsthand experience, you should learn to talk to her and trust her to enjoy all the goodness she has to offer. Once trust is broken, good sex will follow and possibly your marriage too.

Question 0004

Gender: Male

Location: Kano State, Nigeria

Age: 26

I am a two minutes man, how do I last longer?

Answer

Being a two minutes man isn’t entirely a bad thing. If you have the other person in mind, you can last longer while still having fun with your two minutes. Here are some tips.

1. Know Your Cum Count

If it takes you 20 thrusts to cum, don’t fight it, accept it and make the best of those 20 thrusts. You can do slow 9, quick 9 and then you switch to foreplay again till you reset the count, then you go back and do quick 9 and slow 9 and then reset again. Do that in multiples of combinations till you get her to wherever she wants to go. You don’t have to always go 20 at a stretch.

Lovemaking is not love taking. You both need to satisfy each other. When the world gives you a lemon, make lemonade out of it.

Have fun with your 20 thrusts.

2. Use Double Protection

If the aim is not to make babies, use two or more condoms. The more condoms you use, the longer you last. All men who have used condoms before will agree that condom reduces the sensitivity of the friction between the vaginal wall and the penis. The less sensitive the friction, the longer you last.

If you have tried this before, kindly leave a comment in the comment section telling us your experience. A testimony from you will help other readers. [wpdiscuz-feedback id=”s43pjdr2yo” question=”Please leave a feedback on this” opened=”0″][/wpdiscuz-feedback]

3. Get the First Nut Out!

The first nut will disgrace you. Jerk off before you go to your woman especially if the first impression is a top priority for you. It is already established that the second cum lasts longer than the first one.

The third takes a longer time than the second and the sequence goes on like that.

Question 0005

Gender: Female
Location: Kaduna State, Nigeria
Age: 29

My husband isn’t entirely into foreplay. We’ve been married for 4 years now. He makes me feel like an irresponsible woman when I don’t let him in directly whenever he wants me. Sometimes he calls me names, dresses up abruptly and leaves the house. My question is if it is a crime to want to cuddle, snuggle and play before sex? It makes me feel like a sex object and the feeling is creating a dark cloud above this house.

Answer

Based on research I did in 2018 with one of my sisters in Kano, 7 out of every 10 women confessed that their husbands are the direct type when they need their women. The research also revealed that 6 out of every 10 men become frustrated and/or aggressive when deprived of sex when they need it.

This tells us that most men are takers and not makers in bed. Now that you have identified your husband as a taker, you have to be willing to pick between satisfying your husband or facing what comes with his frustration. make it work with him.

What type of man is your husband? A giver or taker? [wpdiscuz-feedback id=”s43pjdr2yo” question=”Please leave a feedback on this” opened=”0″][/wpdiscuz-feedback]

I hate to see marriages ending, but if by any chance he is abusive, remember you always have the choice to not stay in an abusive marriage.

Go!

Question 0006

Gender: Female
Location: Kebbi State, Nigeria
Age: 24

My husband doesn’t like lingerie. In his words “wagga ai kayan riqaqqun karuwai na”. Meaning; These clothing are for veteran prostitutes

Answer

Then don’t use them. Save your money and do something else with it or invest in something he wants if you will. Just make sure you let him know ke halal karuwar sa ce (you are his Halal prostitute and he is your only customer).

Question 0007

Gender: Female
Location: Borno State, Nigeria
Age: 28

My mind won’t stop wandering about during sex. I think about work, the kids, if the door is locked or not, if I have switched the sockets off, or I have food on fire, and plenty other random thoughts. I always lose focus and it is affecting my performance in bed.

Answer

Knowing something will happen is an opportunity to prevent it from happening. I will advise you to schedule a special sex timetable with your husband. This is aside from your regular impromptu sex and quickies. Explain to him why you should do this.

Make a list of the things you could possibly think about while having sex and make sure the items are all checked out before the scheduled sex time. I have found this to work effectively over the years.

What do you think should be checked off before sex? [wpdiscuz-feedback id=”s43pjdr2yo” question=”Please leave a feedback on this” opened=”0″][/wpdiscuz-feedback]

Question 0008

Gender: Male

Location: Kano State, Nigeria

Age: 29

My wife doesn’t initiate sex. I am always the one doing that all the time and it is tiring. This is our second year together and I have never felt desired by my own wife. This is making me gradually resent her wallahi. I have to mention she is very shy. What do I do?

Answer

A lot of men ask me this question a lot. I am currently writing an article on this. I will link it to this article when I am done. Kindly be patient.

Question 0009

Gender: Female
Location: Nasarawa State, Nigeria
Age: 20

I hear my friends say they get so wet that they drip. I have never felt anything like that. I am always dry. I get so dry that I feel pain when a small breeze hits my vaginal area for an exposed period of time. I won’t be able to walk comfortably in the morning if I don’t close my vaginal area airtight to keep it moist before I sleep at night. I have never been with a man before and I hardly have sexual urges like that. I feel this isn’t normal. Does it have anything to do with the fact that I am not yet married?

Answer

Go and see a gynaecologist ASAP!

Question 0010

Gender: Female
Location: Abuja, Nigeria
Age: 26

My man likes oral sex but doesn’t give oral sex back. I am feeling not comfortable with that.

Answer

Talk to your man. You will be surprised it has something to do with your vaginal hygiene or he is naturally irritated by little things. … or as usual, he is just being a typical man in bed. Selfish! Most importantly, talk to him about how you feel.

If you are a man reading this, and you don’t like oral sex back, kindly tell us the reason why. [wpdiscuz-feedback id=”s43pjdr2yo” question=”Please leave a feedback on this” opened=”0″][/wpdiscuz-feedback]

See you next week! Kindly forward us your questions to [email protected] with the following details; age, gender and location.