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In Arewa and many other cultures, it’s believed that virginity depends on the first-night bleed. That’s why some couples use white bed sheets for the bloodstain to be seen.
If the woman didn’t bleed at the first intercourse in her matrimonial home, it is considered she had pre-marital sex. Hence the accusing fingers of infidelity, harlotry, and other baddies point at her no matter how sane she was formally considered.
All these are because most people don’t know much about the hymen.
What is Hymen?
The hymen is a piece of membrane that is situated about an inch and a half deep inside the vagina. It separates the outer part from the inner part of the vaginal canal. One might ask if there’s a membrane then how does the menstrual blood flow out? Well, the hymen has a small opening(s) through which the blood passes.
Like any other part of the human body, the hymen does not look the same in every female. Some hymens are rich in blood vessels and nerves, others are not.
While most females have thick or thin hymens, some few others have no hymen at all, they were born with no hymen! Yes, it is normal and poses no health risks.
What Causes Premier Bleeding?
In females with hymens rich in blood supply, there occurs tear of the hymen at first penetration which causes the bleeding, with accompanied pain if the torn hymen is rich in nerves.
This bleeding is what makes the bride proud, the groom fulfilled and the families satisfied with the virginity and moral decency of the bride.
What if She didn’t Bleed?
Since we said that the bleeding is due to a tear of the hymen at first penetration, what of those that passed the first night with no blood drop?
Remember we said that some females have hymens not rich in blood supply, in these cases, there might be very little blood to be seen.
Also, nature blesses a fraction of females with thin hymen that could easily tear during exercise, cycling, horse riding, a simple act of running, or use of wrong sized tampons mostly with no bleeding or pain as the result of the poor blood vessels and nerves in the thin membrane. And if it bleeds and pains, it’s mostly mistaken for menstrual flow and cramps. It had gone! Unnoticed!
Moreover, about 1 in every 300 females was born without a hymen. Therefore, they experience no bleeding at first intercourse
So, the above-mentioned categories plus the few unfortunate ones that faced the wrath of sexual violence, are all punished by our collective dogma of any bride that didn’t bleed on the first night is a slut. Bad. Cursed.
What a pity!
Red Flag: Re-virgination
Since society defines any woman that bleeds on the first night as a virgin. No matter how bad her record was, the medical community came up with an option; hymenoplasty.
Hymenoplasty is the surgical reconstruction of broken hymen. The operation is been done by surgeons, heals early with hard-to-notice traces. It restores the hymen, therefore the lost ‘pride’.
After the procedure, the hymen appears intact again and bleeds as supposed at the next penetration. Period!
By now, I hope you understand that not all virgins have the hymens to break and bleed, and not all those that bleed were virgins.
Help me answer the question, does virginity depends on the first-night bleed? It’s high time we stop determining the virginity of women by an uncertain fragile tissue. Some lost it by accident, few were not given at all.
Stop the stigma, spread love!