He is AS And So?

Updated: Feb 13, 2022
By Editorial Staff
Hausa Wedding: A Guide on Marrying a Hausa Girl

Hausa Wedding: A Guide on Marrying a Hausa Girl

This is going to be an interesting article since it’s about marriage. And to all the Hausa people and the rest of the world, marrying a Hausa girl is quite a rollercoaster. So for the rest of the world who don't really know the process of how to marry a Hausa girl,...

Love Isn’t the Most Important Thing in A Relationship

Love Isn’t the Most Important Thing in A Relationship

Love. The burning sensation you feel whenever you see that person. The sense of deep and tender attachment. The mortal yet physically beautiful feeling (It's Shakespeare oo, not me). The most stubborn yet persistent illusion. Oops, sorry, I got carried away. That was...

Ebira Pet Names That Will Gladden Your Partners Heart

Ebira Pet Names That Will Gladden Your Partners Heart

Ebira pet names are for people whose partner is an Ebira person. Are you in a relationship and want to express romantic feelings for your significant other? You need to name your love. You want to be able to call them by name, and you want to be able to express your...

Tags:

He’s AS and so?

These are the exact words the voice inside me keeps chanting when I’m forced to make a decision to either allow a fine ass man to go because of incompatibility or enjoy a risky relationship. Sometimes this is the hardest point for any sickle cell carrier. There were times when I wanted to say ‘ I’ll just date him, the rest is my children’s problem’. But half the time I knew that it would be a great mistake to be in a relationship with someone I’m not compatible with.

Read: 10 Things You Must Do at the Start of Every Relationship

I’ve asked myself severally;

“Why do I have to choose between him and having children that are SS?”

“Can’t I just be in love without stressing over genotypes?”

After searching for answers for a while, I discovered that the answer to this problem is making sure I don’t fall in love with an AS guy ever again. You may want to ask, how is that even possible? Well, I’ve come up with tips to make sure love doesn’t catch me unawares again. If you are like me, who is tired of being in the position where you have to choose between an AS lover and your future children, then you should pay attention to these tips.

Always Ask for The Genotype

The moment you are already physically attracted to someone, the next point of introduction should be your name, followed by your genotype. I remember telling my family that I’m adding my genotype to my name. “I’m Bala Rebecca AS” and they all thought I was crazy. Crazy or not, it is better to be safe than sorry.

Sometimes we say, let me wait and see where it goes and before you know it, boom! You are already attached or worse case- in love. To avoid stories that touch the heart, always ask for genotype.  It is never too early to ask.

Don’t Bestie Zone Them

The next resort after finding out you can’t date them is to turn them into besties. The moment you get close to someone in a way that you can do anything for them, be vulnerable around them, talk to them about your deepest secrets, let them see you ‘naked’, flaws and all. There’s very little you can do to separate your heart from such a friendship. I don’t know how people say they can be best friends with the opposite sex without falling in love. If you both are compatible, why not but when you are both AS simply don’t.

You can be friends but limit your attachment. Don’t say I did not warn you.

Know Your Friends’ Genotype

If you have any friends of the opposite sex, ask them their genotype. E get why. I never saw the need to do this until I fell in love with one of my friends. The friendship blossomed so well, I just couldn’t separate my heart from it. He too was already feeling me so we had a conversation about it. My biggest concern was not the genotype; it didn’t even come to my mind. My biggest concern at the time was the friendship that I might lose. It was when I was ready to give it a try that I remembered that I didn’t even know his genotype. I asked him and he was AS. That was one careless mistake I didn’t see coming.

Trust me it was one of the hardest truths I’ve had to accept. So now, I’m adding ‘what is your genotype’ to the list of questions I’m asking when we are getting to know each other and you should too. So that cupid will be shooting a love arrow in the right direction.

Don’t Do Recreational Dating

Just catch cruise with him.

Many people are dating for fun.

Just date him and forget genotype.

The relationship may not even last long enough till marriage.

I’ve heard these words clearly from well-meaning friends. The big question is what if this relationship thrives well enough to end in marriage. What do I do then? Do I wait till I’m far gone before I make the decision to leave?

Stop dating people that you are incompatible with for fun. It may start as a cruise but you can’t tell how it will end. Don’t take the risk.

Don’t Get Physically Intimate

Before you start making out with someone be sure to know their genotype first. You are supposed to be running away from getting attached to people that are AS. Don’t put yourself in the position where you get physically intimate. Two things can happen, you either fall in love and end up making the tough decision or you have a baby and you end up making an even tougher decision.

Always make sure that before you start shoving your tongue down someone’s throat, you know their genotype. You may want to add hepatitis status to that list too.

On a Final Note…

People may think you are crazy when you go about asking them their genotype but I’d rather be called crazy than put myself in the position where I have to give up on a good relationship because of genotype incompatibility. I’ve had someone reply the question ‘what is your genotype’ with “are you trying to marry me”. The truth is we never can tell. I always say that “every date is a potential mate”. If you Date him, it’s because you think he may be good enough to marry. It’s a maybe and it can go both ways. So it’s better you know his genotype and cancel the spirit of attraction on time or you fall in love and be left with tough choices. You decide.

Having to give up on someone I love has been one of the most demoralizing parts of being AS and I never ever want to be in that position again. Do you?

Popular Reads

Everything on JUMIA

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Whats new?
Should Married Couples Post their Pictures Online?

Should Married Couples Post their Pictures Online?

Should couples continue to post their pictures online after marriage? In this age of technology, it has become normal for couples to post their pictures online. Others even go as far as posting every single detail of their lives. Even with everyone genuinely wishing...

The Prevelance of Forced Marriages in Northern Nigeria

The Prevelance of Forced Marriages in Northern Nigeria

Forced marriage is an issue majorly affecting people in northern Nigeria. For this write-up, I had to consult with a few people who did not want their identities disclosed, and I spent countless hours conducting research. What is Forced Marriage? One is being forced...

How to Deal With a Controlling Husband

How to Deal With a Controlling Husband

Do you think your husband is controlling? Being in a marriage where your husband is controlling can be very trying, controlling husbands often try to limit and manage the activities of their spouses. This controlling behavior could really put a strain on a marriage,...

12 Signs Someone is Definitely Flirting with You

12 Signs Someone is Definitely Flirting with You

There are subtle signs on how to know when someone is flirting with you, even if they do not want to show it and try so hard to hide it. Most of these signs can be noticed through their body language. But some like these women's body language are mostly misread....

These 10 Steps Will Make Dating Someone With Depression Easy

These 10 Steps Will Make Dating Someone With Depression Easy

Said to be the most common mental health problem, depression is a complicated disorder characterized by feelings of extreme sadness that affect the emotions, thoughts, and behavior of a person. This leads to feelings of helplessness and worthlessness. Dating someone...

How to Get A Restraining Order in Nigeria

How to Get A Restraining Order in Nigeria

You may become afraid of someone due to that person pestering you, endangering your life, or simply being a nuisance, and you will need to defend yourself against that person. One of the things you'll need to protect yourself is a restraining order. The following...

Everything You Need to Know About Igala Weddings

Everything You Need to Know About Igala Weddings

Weddings are one of those events common to all cultures and tribes. It's a time when a man and a woman are legally joined as one and declared husband and wife amid witnesses. However, wedding procedures and requirements vary from one tribe to another, this is what...

Find Love in Northern Nigeria with These Apps

Find Love in Northern Nigeria with These Apps

Everyone hopes to meet that one special person who will transform their lives for the best. We want to meet someone who lightens up our lives every time there is a contact. We want to feel special and loved in every relationship or situation-ship we find ourselves in....

12 Women’s Body Language You Probably Misread

12 Women’s Body Language You Probably Misread

Did you know that understanding women's body language will help you know if she is interested in you? Also, it helps you grow more empathy towards a woman as you can tell how she is feeling at the moment. This is because women aren't complicated beings as we often...

Explore more

You May Also Like…