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Relationships can be sweet and beautiful if you are with someone who loves you and is not afraid to show it or even profess it. It becomes burdensome and draining when you are the only one putting in all the work and effort. If you are in a relationship and you are not sure where you stand, here are signs that show you are in a one sided relationship.
When you start covering up for their excesses, ignoring their bad behaviours and even start lying to well-meaning family and friends on their behalf, you might just be in a one sided relationship.
For instance, when they’re supposed to be at an event that is very important to you and they just bail on you without reason and you start running a list of maybes in your mind. Maybe his car broke down and there’s no reception there, maybe he doesn’t like large gatherings, maybe he is caught in traffic or probably stuck at work. If your partner loves you, they’ll give importance to everything important to you and if they have some sort of emergency, they’ll communicate effectively.
Sometimes your partner may go as far as disrespecting you in public and you immediately run to their defence” He’s in a bad mood”, “It’s that time of the month, she’s cranky. When someone loves you, they treat you with respect no matter what. He does not check up on you and you say he’s busy and making money for your future together?
No sis, I’m sorry to break it to you but there’s no future!
Going out and doing fun stuff as a couple is a good spice to every relationship. Visiting each other’s favourite places, ticking plans off your bucket list or just spending quality time together is as a matter of fact, very important.
But when you are the only one initiating the plans, planning dates, always wanting to hang out and your partner is just indifferent and passive about it, you need to pause and re-analyze your relationship. It is one of the signs that show you are in a one sided relationship.
While some people are good with initiating plans, some are terribly bad at it. And this is not because they don’t like you but that’s just the way are. So, this is an exceptional case.
With love comes caring, sharing and sacrifices and sometimes you will need to put your partners need above everything. You might have to cancel plans or even let go of things and people for your partners’ sake. Prioritizing your partner’s need is essential but when you are the only one making sacrifices and compromises, that’s unfair.
If you’re the sacrificial lamb in your relationship, always putting your needs on the line for your partner’s well-being and they aren’t doing the same, you are definitely in a one sided relationship.
If you love someone, you give them your time and full attention. If you have to beg for attention, throw tantrums, cook up stories and scenarios, or try to make them jealous for them to notice you, then they don’t love you. You shouldn’t have to beg to be seen or heard by your partner.
It’s part of the benefits you enjoy in a healthy relationship.
When you have to tread carefully around them, always careful to not upset them, unsure of what they feel for you or what they are thinking about a situation and unable to ask them questions because you are afraid they will be irritated, you are in the wrong place.
You shouldn’t have to constantly doubt your position in your relationship. You deserve to be yourself as opposed to living up to your partner’s expectations of who you should be. Your self-esteem and self-worth are in jeopardy here.
Quick advice, RUN!
When you start hearing “my money is my money, your money is our money” that is a wrong sign. When you are the only giver in the relationship, the only one investing money, you pay bills, pay for all the dates- both the ones you initiated and the ones you didn’t, Buy them presents for every special day including children’s day and independence day and get none in return, the relationship is one sided.
I know African men usually feel like it’s their responsibility to finance the relationship but Bro, she can’t claim to love you and not give you anything, no matter how little. She might just be running a gold-digging business and you are nothing but a client.
This shouldn’t apply if you are dating someone that is broke.
When you are the only one trying to keep the communication lines open or trying to bridge the communication gap, it is safe to say that you are already showing symptoms. Communication is key to every relationship and both parties should be fully invested in it.
If only one party is calling, texting, starting all the conversations and the other party doesn’t give a damn, then the relationship is sick and needs help.
Another of the signs you are in a one sided relationship is that you are always the one apologizing whether you are the offender or not. You are always apologizing for every argument and always taking the blame for everything.
It’s funny how they offend you, refuse to take responsibility and you end up being the one saying sorry for being angry in the first place.
That’s a really sad place to be.
From making important decisions without your knowledge to making plans without you in it, your partner is screaming “you are on your own!”This might be due to different expectations from the relationship. To you, they may be end game’. You are already making plans for your future around them probably even named your kids but to them, you are just a temporary plan. This is why it is important to talk about your expectations from your relationship before you get serious with your partner. You have to be on the same page.
However. If they are making plans without you in it, then it is what it is – a one sided relationship.
One of the signs that you are in a one-sided relationship is when you are the only one trying to keep the conversation going. We all know that conversing with the one you love is fun and you will try as much as possible to elongate it by bringing up other conversations in the midst of the present one. Now, when your partner is one who loves to keep conversations short by killing it untimely, then you are in a one-sided relationship. They should be willing to keep the conversation going by communicating effectively.
Balance in every sphere of life is important and every relationship should reach an equilibrium where both partners are invested in serving, helping and putting each other first, making sacrifices, making each other feel loved, supported, comfortable and needed. If you don’t feel this way in your relationship then maybe the scale is tilting and all the weight is on you.
They say love is blind but you need to open your eyes wide and look out for these signs that show you are in a one sided relationship. When you do, I hope you find the courage to choose yourself because you deserve better. You deserve someone who will love you as much as you love them.
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