I am married with a kid now. I know that sometimes it’s confusing when it comes to trying to select a partner with whom you want to live the rest of your life. I might have made a mistake and I’d like you to hear me out.

Zuwairah is a classy young lady, though I was not dating her, I knew that her Kayan lefe will be a little bit above my manpower. She’s a bit stubborn but knows exactly what she wants. She’s interesting and can keep a conversation going.

However, my girlfriend is a gentle soul. She is fine with whatever I offer and never questions my authority. If I tell Aisha to sit on a stool until tomorrow, she wouldn’t dare move, and if she did for any reason. She would apologize to me once I showed up.

I used to work at a tailoring shop after I graduated and a job wasn’t forthcoming. Now, if I wanted to make clothes for Zuwairah, she would describe the style she wanted and would be very dramatic about it. It was obvious she liked me and usually called me sweet names. On the other hand, my sweetheart would simply be okay with whatever I decided to make for her. It was easy and I need not stress myself or buy extra materials to make designs for her.

One time I was so confused because I like that Zuwairah was interesting but she had this fire that I didn’t feel I could control while my girlfriend was easy to handle. I had to ask my close friends for counsel. They suggested that I test them both with lunch.

When my girlfriend came I told her I had only Garri available. She asked if there was sugar and I lied that there wasn’t. We drank this garri like this and she left. Shortly after, Zuwairah appeared. The funny thing is that she didn’t get to go to a university and only had a school leavers certificate. She told me she was hungry after telling me details of how her day went. When I told her I had just garri, she told me she’d want rice and beans or noodles instead. After a couple of minutes, she agreed to take the garri but insisted that I got her sugar. She quickly bought some groundnuts and added it too.

It may amaze you but this is how I picked my wife. My friends advised me to pick the one I felt at ease with and thus, I chose my darling girlfriend. Zuwairah might be interesting but, it’s better to select the peace of mind or so I thought.

Our issues started when I was confused about what to put in her wedding box. Does she like laces better or more of Atamfa? Heels flops or both. I couldn’t decide and my madam kept telling me that she was okay with whichever I got for her. In the end most of the things I had gotten, she didn’t even wear them.

I finally got a job at a building company as an architect. Yes, my home is peaceful but it is uninteresting. Once I went to submit a building plan in my boss’s office and his wife was there. They were arguing the position of the cabinet in the kitchen of one of the building plans. She said left and he said right.

The owner of the contract later came in and strictly stated that he’d prefer the cabinet on the left of its initial position. I went home that day and tried to ask my wife her opinion on something. Mind you! She’s a graduate.

“Honey, should we build our house as a duplex or in stories?”

“I don’t know. Anyone is fine by me”

Her indifference made me sigh. Sometimes I actually needed her opinion, I wanted to have intelligent arguments and I would need to advise on trivial issues. Yet my wife will be like.

“Maigida, anyone will be fine.”

Please marry someone who knows what they want, is willing to compromise, challenge you to become better, and can advise you on the serious issues you’d face.

It’s quite obvious that she’s not the one.