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“I guess it’s part of my destiny to live in this state of despair” “I’ve always known I was the problem of myself, the reason why I don’t get along with others” “why does everything seem to be working against me?”. The above statement has become the norm of our society—people living with pains calling it fate. Perhaps, you’ve heard someone say those words or you have sounded them too. This kind of person is said to be an emotionally damaged person. Unfortunately, they may portray emotionally mature signs but deep down they are emotionally broken.
Being emotionally damaged is a state where one’s feelings have been seared by past happenings or emotional neglect from those they had presumed to have loved and trusted. These occurrences often leave the victim hurt, broken, pained, frustrated, and depressed. Such a state is harmful to the well-being of any person, hence, the majority believes hurting others in return would cure their emotional suffering. However, it only makes it grow worse.
Furthermore, it tends to affect other aspects of their lives like their social and academic life, emotional coordination, and their financial budget.
Over the years in the state of brokenness, many develop toxic ideology towards love and the opposite sex. Some feel there is no such thing as love and find it difficult to love again. Also, they can’t relate well with their fellow humans and have poor communication skills. Subsequently, they breed unhealthy relationships due to their fears of being hurt again, such as lack of trust and commitment, suspicious attitude, and carefree attitude.
It’s already registered in their subconscious mind that nothing good can happen to them. Hence, they are pessimistic in their thought patterns, expecting bad things to occur sooner or later. Most times, they struggle to accept pleasant things when given to them. They are the types that always doubt every good compliment said to them. In addition, they prefer reading books that encourage such behavior rather than reading self-improvement books.
An emotionally damaged person experiences a feeling of worthlessness. Hence, they believe they have nothing to live or hope for. Therefore, they don’t take proper care of themselves, have poor nutrition, live in an untidy environment, and look unkempt. Sadly, many of them engage in harmful habits like taking hard drugs to forget about their pains which gradually affects their memory retention ability.
Interestingly, they won’t encourage others to take hard drugs to showcase emotionally mature signs whereas they aren’t matured.
It’s likely to see an emotionally damaged person deserted from others, they don’t associate and have no one to talk with. Even if someone wants to associate with them, they quickly assume the person is there to cause them more pain. Their daily life schedule is built upon a pattern of boredom. One of their greatest fears is rejection, hence they rather don’t associate than suffer rejection.
A vast majority of those who have been hurt emotionally think that what happened to them was their fault to some extent. Therefore, they are caged in perpetual guilt, shame, and regret, wishing they could turn back the hands of the clock. This attitude deprives them of enjoying life, and they can’t stay happy at their workplace which reduces their productivity at work.
Being brokenhearted makes one naturally angry with themselves and life in general. This kind of anger can be destructive because it’s backed up by pain, hurt, and revenge. This set of people are yet to learn how to recognize their emotions. Hence, they experience mood swings, this minute they are sad, next they are angry, changing from one negative emotion to another.
Emotionally matured signs include one’s ability to forget the past and move on to a better tomorrow. However, the case is different when it comes to those who are emotionally damaged, they are always seeing flashbacks from their past. This is because they have intentionally refused to let go of the past and are always reliving the past. Hence, they can’t enjoy the present or look forward to a better tomorrow.
Oftentimes those who have been hurt emotionally develop low self-esteem. They think less of themselves and deprive themselves of the necessity of life. Unfortunately, we dictate how others should think or treat us by the way we treat ourselves. Hence, it appears as though everyone they come in contact with has a problem with them, and regards them with less or no value at all.
This mindset keeps them from trying something new or going after their goals due to fear of failure. Therefore, they enjoy living the life of a mediocre or an average person.
People who have experienced hurt and pain find it so difficult to forgive those who have caused them pain. Sadly, unforgiveness and resentment are dangerous to one’s mental health and well-being in general. It makes them resentful towards others who haven’t done them wrong but have a connection or similarity to those who have wronged them.
A vast majority of those with shattered emotions may disguise and show emotionally mature signs in public, but one thing they can’t pretend with is their inability to have a sound sleep. The inability to sleep comfortably is term insomnia. For emotionally damaged persons they spend most of their night thinking of their past which can’t be changed or devising a means of revenge. Oftentimes, since they are hunted by their past life many of them do have nightmares.
The aim of this post isn’t to make you feel guilty but that you seek help to break free from the grip of emotional pains and regrets. You should associate with helpful friends, take your self-care seriously, allow yourself to be loved again, and stay away from things that remind you of your pains. Most importantly, endeavor to see a therapist who will guide you through complete recovery and help you develop emotionally mature signs.
Perhaps, you’ve been emotionally damaged before and have overcome, what was your experience like and how did you scale through?
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