10 Incredible Honeymoon Destinations in Northern Nigeria

10 Incredible Honeymoon Destinations in Northern Nigeria

Northern Nigeria is more than just farmlands, settlements, and herds of grazing cows. It is rich culture buried in sceneries of beauty portrayed by nature at its best. Contrary to popular belief, Arewa is blessed with destination sites that will make your vacation worthwhile and give you a treat for your time. Planning to spend some time off with a loved one soon? Then you should check out these Honeymoon destinations in northern Nigeria. You might be surprised how much adventure is trapped in these locations.

10 Incredible Honeymoon Destinations in Northern Nigeria

1. Yankari National Park

Also called Yankari Game Reserve, this stunning wildlife park is an intersection point for people to see wildlife in its habitat and all its glory. This savannah makes it the perfect place to enjoy all that nature has to offer.

A large, warm spring with clear water flows into the Gaji River. Sandstone caves from early human settlements to explore and of course, the marveling presence of hippos, monkeys, over 300 species of birds, and a host of other animals.

The park also boasts suitable accommodation for groups, individuals or families. Services such as safaris, museums, restaurants, and bars are sure to keep guests entertained during their stay making it one of the best Honeymoon destinations in northern Nigeria.

Photo Credit: Wiki warm springs

Location: Bauchi State.
Attractions: Wikki warm springs, Safari ride, museum
Accommodation: Available on park grounds

Review

Check out my experience in Yankari National Park

2. Shere Hills

There’s a place to visit when you need something out of the ordinary. Somewhere that’s as breathtaking as it is formidable, courtesy of nature. The Shere Hills rock formation at Jos is a collection of massive rock piles that splatter across the landscape for miles.

The real thrill of these rocks is in climbing to the highest formation: Gog and Magog. It’s a whopping 1829 meters above sea level. Not to worry, you don’t have to carry out this expedition on your own.

The Mountain School of Citizenship and Leadership training (Man ‘O’ War Bay) is facilitated to provide training and supervision of this kind.

Photo Credit – alchetron.com

Review

Location: Jos city, Plateau State.
Attractions: Gog and Magog formation
Accommodation: Available (surrounding hotels and Man ‘O’ War grounds)

3. Jos Wildlife Park

One of the country’s largest wildlife conservations, the popular Jos Wildlife Park is home to lions, giraffes, reptiles, and birds. It’s all of nature’s goodness in a confined environment for you to enjoy.

The gate fee is affordable and you’re sure to have an amazing time there and is sure one of the best honeymoon destinations in northern Nigeria out there.

Photo Credit: tori.ng

Review

A review of Wildlife Park would help educate you more.

Location: Jos – Miango Road, Plateau State.
Attractions: Exotic collection of wild animals
Accommodation: Available (surrounding hotels)

4. Mambilla Plateau

Breathtaking. That’s nothing short of the view of the Mambilla Plateau. An extensive landscape of flora and fauna covers the hills. The mountain chain, the simple green scenery, and the stunning waterfall are the main tourist attractions on the plateau.

Then there’s the historic site of Ndumyaji Cave, Mbamnga’s most famous cave. It boasts one of the best weather conditions in the country, which is cool and pleasant all year, in contrast to other sections of the country, which have temperature extremes during the day and night.

This fact alone makes Mambilla Plateau one of the most exquisite and perfect honeymoon destinations in northern Nigeria.

Mambilla Plateau is one of the Honeymoon destinations in northern Nigeria
Photo Credit – Nigeria Galleria

Review

Check out a review of Mambilla Plateau.

Location: Taraba State.
Attractions: Mountain, Waterfall 
Accommodation: Available (surrounding hotels)

5. Kajuru Castle

Be royalty for a day, a weekend, or however long you choose and Kajuru Castle is there to provide the treatment you deserve. This destination offers the full feeling of a medieval castle infused with modern-day luxuries and the privacy to enjoy it all as a couple, group, or individual. You get to be the master of the castle and its sauna, swimming pool, towers, and everything else. One thing not to miss out on is a hike in the morning to bask in the sunrise.

Most importantly, don’t forget your camera because this is one of the most romantic spots for honeymoon destinations in northern Nigeria.

Kajuru catsle is one of the Honeymoon destinations in northern Nigeria
Photo Credit: Wikimedia.org

Review

This review is all you need to know about Kajuru Castle.

Location: Kaduna State.

Attractions: Medieval styled castle with relaxation and food  

Accommodation: Available (in the castle or surrounding hotels)

6. Ancient Nok Settlement 

Encased by awe-striking mountains is the small village home to one of Nigeria’s most famous and historical carvings: The Nok terracotta carvings. To preserve this culture and history, several museums have been built around and in the village.

These museums are opened to the public to see the remains of the once-buried village. Logically, people want to visit the community known for its vast amounts of ginger plantations and stunning views of the mountains.

Honeymoon destinations in northern Nigeria
Photo Credit – Travel Nigeria

Review

See more about the Ancient Nok Settlement

Location: Jaba LG, southern Kaduna State.
Attractions: Nok terracotta village, museums  
Accommodation: Available (surrounding hotels)

7. Matsirga Falls

If you are in Kaduna state or just passing by to your destination, you must see the electrifying site of the Matsirga waterfalls. Impossible to miss, this riveting sight is visible and audible from the Kafanchan – Kaduna road. It is an entire scene of beauty with sparkling clear water, falling from a 30-meter high rock into a pool that streams downward.

If you’re in luck, you might even catch a view backed up with a rainbow as is reported to be seen on some days.

Review

Here’s more on what you need to know about Matsirga Falls.

Location: Kafanchan, Jema’a LG, Kaduna State.
Attractions: Mystic waterfall  
Accommodation: Hotels in the neighbouring city or village

8. Gashka-Gumti National Park

The only thing better than one national park is two. That’s what the Gashka-Gumti national park is. A merging of the wonder of Gashaka Game Reserve and the beauty of Gumti game reserve.

A mixture of grasslands and vast mountains and rainforests make up this national treasure. Lush forests, broad sweeping grasslands, cold highland plateaus, steep melancholy mountains, plentiful wildlife, and diverse ethnic cultures can all be found within the park’s boundaries.

There are so many activities to enjoy on a trip like this. They include horse riding, visiting lakes, forests, hippo pools, hot springs, and more. This is a perfect honeymoon destination in northern Nigeria if you ask me.

Photo Credit – independent.ng

Review –

Gashka-Gumti National Park’s complete guide is available.

Location: North-east of the international Cameroon border and North of the Mambilla plateau 
Attractions: Horse riding, Hippo pools, Fishing, Mountains, Rivers
Accommodation: Available at tourist camp at Serti

9. Gurara Falls

This famous tourist site just 3 hours from the country’s capital lives up to its reputation of being astonishing. It is so accessible and allows for great activities like picnics and barbecues at the sandy shore.

Sunbathing at the rocky foot of the waterfall is a must. Feel the sun on your skin, hear the water thunder around you and revel in nature at its best. In the early hours of the morning, it is possible to see fishermen at work and possibly experience fishing for yourself. 

Also, a tour guide is available.

Photo Credit: wikipedia.org

Review

See more on Gurara falls.

Location: Minna-Abuja expressway 
Attractions: Waterfall, picnic, and barbecue on a shore   
Accommodation: Hotels in the neighboring city

10. The Capital City Experience

The capital city of Abuja is packed full of exciting areas for sightseeing and entertaining experiences. These spots cater to different activities that will keep you excited throughout your stay, making it the ultimate choice among the honeymoon destinations in northern Nigeria.

i. Jabi Arts & Crafts Market

Lovers of art will find this place a haven. One can buy different beautifully handcrafted items for gifts here and enjoy the amazing craftsmanship of the locals.

Photo Credit: Our Travel and Tour

Review

Find out more about Jabi Arts & Crafts Market

Location: Jabi Lake off the ring road, near Life Camp 
Attractions: handcrafted items and gifts    
Accommodation: Hotels in the city

ii. Almat Farms

With the integration of agriculture, hospitality, and lifestyle, this resort is a getaway destination from the noise of the city. Exposing you to scenery sponsored by agriculture, the farm provides gallant horses for horse riding, quad bike riding, board games, picnics, sporting activities, kayaking, and more.

Review

All you need to know about Almat Farms.

Location: Kuje Area Council
Attractions: kayaking, board games, animal pet farm, horse riding  
Accommodation: Available on farm grounds

iii. Magic Land Amusement Park

Abuja’s number one amusement park has something for everyone. from crazy rides to indoor games and spots to eat and relax, you don’t want to miss out on the experience.

Review

See what the buzz about Magic land

Location: Kukwaba Hills, Wuye, Abuja

Attractions: Rollercoasters, water splash, flying tower, bumper cars 

Accommodation: Hotels in the city

Conclusion

Honeymoon destinations in Northern Nigeria are available in abundance. You just need to explore and enjoy all that they have to offer.

Have you enjoyed any vacations in the north before? Kindly tell us your experience in the comments.

FAQs

What is the most visited travel destination in northern Nigeria?

Yankari Game Reserve is easily the most popular and most visited travel destination in northern Nigeria.

Where can I find accommodation at a tourist site?

Most sites have accommodations available for guests on or near the site. For those that don’t have, hotels and guest inns are usually available a short distance from the site.

I’ve never been to a destination before, how do I find my way around?  

Tourist sites usually have service centres that provide guides for your trip. These guides know the history and terrain of the entire location and its environs. They will lead you through every spot or location and answer any questions you have on the way. You can make bookings for a guide before you arrive.

What is the most romantic honeymoon destinations in northern Nigeria?

The exclusivity and enchantment make the Kajuru Castle arguably one of the most romantic honeymoon spots in northern Nigeria. Although this is up for debate because of personal preferences.

I’m on a budget, can I still have a destination honeymoon in the north?

Yes of course. All destinations permit you to stay only as long as you want to and usually have affordable fees for touring and sometimes accommodation. You are sure to find something that suits your budget.

Find Love in Northern Nigeria with These Apps

Find Love in Northern Nigeria with These Apps

Everyone hopes to meet that one special person who will transform their lives for the best. We want to meet someone who lightens up our lives every time there is a contact. We want to feel special and loved in every relationship or situation-ship we find ourselves in. The quest for a companion has gotten so serious that people now go to dating sites or even dating apps to look for a partner. Don’t think Nigeria is left out in this quest, there are also dating apps for Nigeria and these dating apps have brought forth good results.

The search for true love and a soul mate or even just a companion has proven difficult for a lot of adults in Nigeria. But with these commendable dating apps for Nigeria, one can say that it has been fruitful. Some of these dating apps for Nigeria include…

Dating Platforms for Northerners

1. Friendlite

This dating app was created back in 2012, and it is believed to be more than just a dating site, as its members can share photos, videos, blogs, play games with other members, and read the latest news. This site has an estimated amount of over 84,000 registered members with a daily visit of 9,000 members.

This site is user-friendly and it allows you to own your account and also decline or accept a friend request from any other user. It also allows you to select your preferred individual which leads to messaging because this site allows for messaging. This app is very secure and you can report any form of foul play and the rest is taken care of.

This app is very good and it is a good dating app for Nigeria because with these features above, why wouldn’t you want to choose this app as your top dating site and app? Choose this and be sure to have a great time on this site.

2. Halal Matchmaker on Twitter

This platform is a place to find love and companionship, especially for my people in the northern region of Nigeria. The meaning of halal can mean goodness or happiness.

This platform has a total of at least 64,000 followers and it helps individuals, especially those in the northern region of Nigeria, find their soul-mate. All you have to do is follow this account on Twitter and then you can see posts on this platform. You can also like, retweet, and even comment on this platform. You will be sure to find companionship on this platform.

3. Tinder

A lot of people abroad also make use of this dating app but it is also a dating app for Nigeria. This app works in a very simple way by displaying pictures of people near your location. It is another location-established best dating app in Nigeria with a simple outlook.

It is quite easy to navigate. On this app, you choose your match by swiping left and right after choosing your location. Swiping right means you agreed to a particular match and swiping left means the opposite. This app also allows you to message and view a user’s profile and see if this partner is good for you.

This app has over 2 million users in Nigeria, excluding those abroad. Just reading a few of these features, you will see that this is a very good dating app for Nigeria because once you find your match, you will see no reason to remain single!

4. Badoo

This is a social networking app as well as one of the free online dating apps in Nigeria. It has over 314 million registered users. It helps in connecting and networking with people living in your neighborhood.

This app is mostly for people looking for casual dating, although there are also testimonies of people who found their spouse on this app. It can be downloaded on the Apple store, Play store, and even on Windows OS. Like any other social networking app, you can block and report intruders on it.

You can view pictures and profiles of users, do live videos, and others. It is one of the best dating apps in Nigeria with free dating services that can be accessed.

5. Facebook

I’m very sure that you weren’t expecting to see this social media platform as one of the best dating apps for Nigeria, but it is. Facebook is many things, it’s a marketing platform, a social platform, and also a platform to find love! Did you know that at least 30% of couples in Nigeria found their other half on Facebook?! Crazy right? But that’s the truth and this social media app works tremendously well in the area of finding love.

Unlike most dating apps that have the feature of swiping left and right to reject or accept a user, Facebook’s feature is very simple. All you have to do is create an account and then you can start posting on your stories, posting on feeds for people to see what you post, accepting friend requests, wishing people happy birthday, and also deciding to reply to or decline messages from Facebook messenger. You can also join specific groups like Halal Matchmaking.

This app has at least 50 million registered users on it and at least 30% of these users are married and found their spouse online.

6. Instagram

Instagram, otherwise known as ‘the gram’ is also referred to by some people as a dating app, and not just any dating app, but a dating app for Nigeria. This app although very social has proved and given people the opportunity to find their life partner.

This app is not only for marketing and boosting your products but also for finding love and companionship in people, most people find their friends and lovers here, and just so you know this app has at least an estimated value of at least 40 million Nigerians, so why not use this social media platform to find your love? You can find love on this platform too.

Unsurprisingly, there are also platforms on this app that help you find love, like Northern Hibiscus or Halal Matchmaking.

Conclusion

I don’t know anyone close to me who found love on a dating site, but I have heard stories from mutual friends who found love on these dating sites. Everyone deserves love, and if you can’t find it the physical way (traditional) then you can find it digitally (modern).

The bottom line is you can find love online, and once you do find love, you can shape that relationship into whatever you guys want, you can even decide to set boundaries.

FAQs

Can I find real love online?

Yes, you can, you can find real love on a dating or social media platform.

What dating app is the best in Nigeria?

To be honest, there isn’t the best dating app. Although sites say that apps like Tinder, Badoo, and even Facebook are the best, you have to find the app that works best for you.

Are dating apps secure?

Yes, dating apps are secure. You can block and report an intruder and actions will be taken subsequently.

Skeletons in the Closet? Unraveling the Roles of Men in MNorthern Nigeria

Skeletons in the Closet? Unraveling the Roles of Men in MNorthern Nigeria

What makes a man is The title of a song released by an Irish pop vocal group/boyband popularly known as “West Life” in the album “Coast to Coast”. Also, a question that ought to be no longer rhetorical in the mind of every single member of the Northern Nigeria society. Why? I will paint you a very short but interesting picture.

Imagine two Northern Nigeria stereotypes; Mr. A and Mr. B. Both above thirty. Mr. A is a forty-five-year-old accomplished civil servant; living a luxurious life in a well-furnished apartment but with no family of his own. Mr. B is a thirty-six-year-old moderately-to-do businessman; living a middle-class life with one wife or more and children.

Who is going to be labeled more “Man” in the Northern Nigeria society? Let us hold on to that thought for a while.

Notice closely, that three simple criteria including age, wealth, and responsibility/family were considered in the formation of these stereotypes. And although there could be more, these three for most readers of Northern Nigeria or anywhere, were more than ample to make an immediate mental judgment as to who is more man than the other. Perhaps, if there was more, then it was left to those lacking in any of the three fields to find stitches to patch up their masculine wears and tears.

A man is not who he thinks he is; he is what he hides.

Andre Malraux, Author of Man’s Fate

Meaning that the secrets we hide are what defines us. So could there be more to the question of ‘who is more man than who in the Northern Nigeria society’, rather than the simple societal stereotypes? Perhaps, we ought to open closets and ask about forgotten skeletons. Thus, we will start with the basic question of who a man is. 

Who Is A Man?

A man as defined by dictionary sources is “An adult male person”; that is someone who biologically is of the male sex and passed the age of boyhood. 

Societally, to be one’s own man is to be free and independent. Meanwhile, those traits, habits behaviors, or roles that society considers appropriate for a man are referred to as masculinity, manliness, or manhood.

Some even argue that just like wealth, race, or social class, masculinity has a social status and higher social status is achieved with higher masculinity. Therefore, having understood who a man is, the next step for us is to begin to ponder on our initial question; that is to find out “what makes a man”.

What Makes a Man?

Good question. An even more interesting one comes from the opinions of different individuals, in different societies, and with different cultural backgrounds and beliefs. Since there is no objective out-of-the-textbook explanation of what makes a man, it was left to assume a better way of understanding this question.

As such, conducting a survey of answers from Quora; an international Q & A online platform, where questions are asked and answered for the purpose of sharing and growing knowledge, answers to this particular question were found and a review of them gave me the following points of what makes a man:

  1. A boy becomes a man through the process of struggle.
  2. A man is someone charged with the responsibility of caring not only for himself but for others around him. He also doesn’t blame others for his mistakes but apologizes and corrects them.
  3. A man has a strong moral code by which he lives and is defined. He constantly recognizes his weakness and strives to be better.
  4. A man discovers his true inner self and doesn’t change his personality as change takes place in the outside world. In other words, he is not easily influenced.
  5. A man is conscious of himself and controls his instincts, urges, and emotions.
  6. A man is steadfast in his decisions. He knows when to be flexible and when to say no.
  7. A man is free to define himself.

The aforementioned points have tried to define what makes a man based on a general perception of people from different societies.  A man’s Life experience, Responsibility, Moral code, Strength of character, Self-awareness, Steadfastness, and Choice are what I found to be the most popular opinions.

However, how can I use these points to discover which is most relevant in our Northern Nigeria society?

What Makes a Man in Northern Nigeria Society?

You will recall the image we digested earlier of two Northern Nigeria stereotypes using age, wealth, and responsibility to decide who was more man than whom. Recall how ‘you’ were also accused of making an on-spot decision. From there, we went on to explain the concept of who a man was and what was his masculinity.  Our goal now is to decide what makes a man in Northern Nigerian society.

Traits, habits, behaviors, or roles that society considers to be appropriate for a man have been found to be considered his masculinity/manhood. Seven areas including; his Life experience, Responsibilities, Moral code, Strength of character, Self-awareness, Steadfastness, and Choice were considered generally to be vital.

Therefore, comparing the criteria used earlier in stereotyping the Northern Nigerian man to these seven points leads us closer to finding out what makes a man in Northern Nigerian society. The confluence point was found at the responsibility valley. Clearly, age and wealth when compared to responsibility, could not have been the major catalysts that influenced your hastened decision of who or what a man is. Rather the roles/responsibility attached to a man is what drives Northern Nigeria society to assess his masculinity.

These roles/responsibilities of a man in Northern Nigeria society will be the master key that will unlock the closet door and allow us a peek at its skeletons if any. 

What Is The Role of a Man in Northern Nigerian Society?

This takes origin from the concept of “Gender role”; which is a set of behaviors and attitudes considered desirable or appropriate based on that person’s gender.

The term role could be defined as a duty that someone or something is expected to have. At the same time, it is the way someone or something is involved in an activity. Going for a more elaborate definition, a role is a socially-expected behavioral pattern usually determined by an individual’s status in a particular society. Similarly, it is a set of connected behaviors, rights, obligations, beliefs, and norms as conceptualized by a society.

All these combine to interrogate the role of a man in Northern Nigeria society as follows:

What are the rights duties and obligations of a Northern Nigerian man?

How is the Northern Nigeria man involved in activities of Northern Nigeria society?

Roles carried out by Northern Nigerian men are undeniably vast but nonetheless, they can be classified based on their positions/status or their general functions. The positional roles of a Northern Nigerian man can be dynamic, that is, they can evolve or be interchangeable based on his current position in the family and society. The Northern Nigeria man therefore can discharge his roles based on his position as follows:

  • As a father
  • As a husband
  • As a son
  • As a brother
  • As an uncle
  • As a neighbor

Whatever position a man may occupy in the family or society, there are certain roles he is bound to come across. These roles unlike his positions are not dynamic. Careful analysis of both leads us to categorize the roles of a Northern Nigeria man in society in four unique ways namely:

  • Domestic roles
  • Religious roles
  • Socio-cultural roles
  • National roles.

These will be carefully elaborated and looked at. 

Domestic Roles of A Man

Domestic roles are duties and obligations assigned to members of a household to ensure efficient meeting of its basic needs. Either as a son, husband, or father, men in Northern Nigeria society are expected to carry out assigned responsibilities in the family.

These mostly include:

1. Household Labour (Chores)

Due to the physical strength of men, a man is expected to do hard and labor-intensive activities in the household. For example, he will wash the car, do the gardening, and perform animal slaughter. 

2. Technical Work

A man is expected to learn simple household technical work in order to take care of problems that may arise without employing the services of a technician. He may take care of:

  • Electrical tasks like changing sockets, bulbs, turning on or servicing generator, and simple vehicle checks.
  • Plumbing tasks in the kitchen and in the bathroom. 

3. HouseHold Representation/Leadership

A man in the Northern Nigeria society serves as the link between the women of the house and the outside world. Religion and culture do not encourage Northern Nigerian women to have unlimited freedom with no control. Therefore, a man in the household is faced with certain responsibilities like:

Being a natural leader to women below and above him. He may do so by providing them with emotional strength and guidance.  

Going on errands outside the home as much as he can, especially at night and also, sometimes accompanied the women of the house.

Answering the door and ushering male guests.

4. Discipline and Security

A man is expected at all times to ensure peace and orderliness within his household and arrest conflict when it arises. He is also charged with the responsibility of keeping members of the household safe from internal and external harm. Therefore, he is:

Active alert and checks all locks and appliances for safety before retiring to bed at night.

Passive alert at all times and watches out for suspicious sounds and movement within and around the boundary of his home.

5. Financial responsibility

A husband, father, and sometimes even son are responsible for the financial well-being of every member of the household. Not only that, he is at other times, expected to contribute to the financial well-being of other members of the extended family. As such, he must work hard and earn a living in order to:

Provide good food, clothing, shelter, and education to those he is responsible for.   

Give allowances where expected.

Regularly, chips in and contributes to the well-being of his extended family.

Religious Roles of Man

The predominant religion in Northern Nigeria, Northern Nigeria is Islam. This has provided the Northern Nigerian society with certain beliefs, behaviours, and obligations to follow. In addition to the completion of personal obligation to God, he is also tasked by religion with several roles.

Some of these roles that religion has mandated for the Northern Nigeria man include: 

1. Religious Leadership Roles

A well-learned and societally accepted man with good moral and social conduct is charged with leadership roles like:

  • He leads prayers as the Imam in mosques and leads prayers for the deceased.
  • He assumes political roles in society.
  • Also, he as a man can become a scholar who delivers preaching like “Tafseer” in religious gatherings
  • A man is charged with carrying on the name of his father and passing it down to his own children.

2. Religious Rites Roles

Execution of certain religious rites has been assigned solely to men by religion. These rites are prohibited for a woman to perform. They include:

  • Acting as “Waliyyi” and “Wakili” in marriage.
  • Taking part in prayers of the deceased and escorting the dead to the grave.
  • Giving out “Zakkatul fitr” (alms) on behalf of his family
  • He is the one to seek permission from a woman’s father to court her when looking for marriage. He also pays a token for the woman before he can take her as his wife. This token is referred to as “Sadaki” or bride price.

3. Matrimonial Roles

The roles of a man in marriage have been clearly outlined by religion in Northern Nigerian society. These include:

  • Financial responsibility: He becomes financially responsible for his wife’s food, shelter, clothing, education, and discipline according to the teachings of Islam.
  • Emotional responsibility: He protects and safeguards his wife’s emotional state of mind.
  • Moral & Spiritual responsibility: He guides and educates his wife on her moral and spiritual conduct. For example, he should constantly monitor/permit her interactions with people outside her home or make sure she discharges her prayers on time.

4. Moral Role

Personal code of conduct of behaviours and interactions with people have been clearly outlined by religion for the man to follow. He is expected to:

  • Offer a handshake in greeting and say the “Salam” when passing a fellow Muslim or group of Muslims.
  • He is expected to imitate qualities like honesty, patience, and humility among others.
  • He is expected to obey and honor his parents and especially his mother as she is the key to his paradise. 

Socio-Cultural Roles

These are roles spelled out by the society based on their culture and tradition. They are socially accepted beliefs, norms, and behaviours allowed of a Northern Nigerian man. In addition, they are rules handed down from generation to generation which may or may not be dynamic. They include the following; 

1. Occupational Roles

Certain occupations in Northern Nigeria society until today are believed to be suitable for men and unheard of for women. Even though the Northern Nigerian man has a white-collar job, he is encouraged by society to be involved in technical/manual jobs or trading.

Examples of such occupations Northern Nigeria society has outlined for men include; wanzam, carpentry, building, animal rearing, etc.

2. Courtship Roles

Before a man in Northern Nigeria society marries, he undergoes a period of courtship in which after taking permission from the lady’s father, they get to know each other before marriage. Society has socially constructed roles the Northern Nigerian man must play in this period. They are as follows:

  • He initiates the courtship process.
  • He offers gifts occasionally to the lady whom he wants to marry.
  • Before he marries her, he is expected to complete the cultural rites of marriage like gifting her clothes or otherwise “Lefe” and other necessary cultural rites. 

National Roles

Northern Nigerian people are naturally proud of genetic traits handed to them like wisdom in speech, strong moral/social code, and ambition.

Wherever a Northern Nigeria man is, it is his responsibility to: 

1. Political Role 

  • Use his natural skills and talents to govern the nation politically.
  • Become a recognized trade or craftsman. 

2. Citizenship Role

  • Be a law-abiding member of the nation and dispatch his duties accordingly
  • Abstain from criminal, social or moral misconduct that will bring him and other people shame.
  • Be a man the nation is proud of.

Conclusion

From the above, it is clear that men in Northern Nigeria society have clearly spelled roles.

Montessori Education As a Tool for Northern Nigerian Mothers

Montessori Education As a Tool for Northern Nigerian Mothers

Ever looked at a child and wondered what was going on in his or mind; or more interestingly, observed a child deeply engrossed in an activity that he/she is unaware of the surroundings? If yes, then at a point, we must have shared thoughts that the child was simply a mindless individual without a worry in the world and that was it!

I had that thought for quite a long time until I came across a quote by chance saying:

Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from learning, but for children, play is serious learning, Play is really the work of childhood.

Fred Rogers

The above quote somehow stuck to my mind that each time I saw a child deeply engrossed in a playful activity, I looked on with newfound interest. This saying kept bugging my mind and with time, it started changing my perspective.

My mind got curious and I tasked myself to find out why children got engaged in such activities and what they hoped to achieve in doing so. Although, I did not have many tools to discover why. It kept dawning on me that there could be an end goal in sight as I continued to observe him. Perhaps, there was another reason why a child spends hours making sandcastles other than the fact that he/she simply just has much free time.  

So was there a way to unfold mysteries behind a child’s mind in ways we can understand them as unique intelligent beings rather than mindless individuals? And what is the need to find an answer to this rising question?

While pondering over the latter, I came across another quote by Jess lair saying

Children are not things to be molded but are people to be unfolded

It then dawned on me how as mothers, we owed it to them to learn how to understand, encourage and guide them to explore their inner potentials. This is essential considering how the home is the first school of a child.

We must, first of all, understand that every child is unique; can learn and develop in different ways and at different rates in enabling environments, and also every child can learn to be strong and independent through positive relationships.

Although it bugs me that some mothers do not pay attention to these similarities and differences, one thing that is clear is we cannot continue to pretend as if children no matter how young, lack thoughts and feelings of their own and that a wrong move could form long-lasting damage to their mental health and more.

This made me visit and explore the concept of Montessori education to aid me to view the world through the lens of a child.

What is Montessori Education?

Founded by Italian doctor, Dr. Maria Montessori and named after her, Montessori education is a child-centered philosophy that developed through scientific observation of children in mental health facilities in 1897 Rome. Maria’s careful observation and experimentation of children, their environment, and methods of learning led her to develop her educational philosophy which she described as a ‘Model of human development. There were two principles guiding this theory.

The first was that children and developing adults engaged in self-constructed psychological development through interaction with the environment. The second emphasized children especially those under the age of six as having an ‘innate path’ of psychological development. Based on this theory, Maria Montessori saw that for a child, the freedom to choose and act freely within a prepared environment would make the child act spontaneously for optimal development.

In other words, the Montessori Method attempts to develop children physically socially, emotionally, and cognitively by regarding the child as the initiator of learning and describing him as one who is eager to learn in a prepared learning environment.

Montessori Education in Northern Nigeria

The Montessori system of education in schools has generally found a wide range of applications in Nigeria from daycare programs, kindergartens, and elementary schools. From the early 2000s, Nigeria has successfully implemented Montessori teacher-training programs as well as applied the concept of a safe environment and curriculum.

However, the existence of issues ranging from lack of sufficient training in self-acclaimed teachers to overcrowding of classrooms has proven to pose a stunt in its growth. This shows that a well-learned individual on a one-on-one relationship such as the one between a mother and child on a daily basis could revolutionalise its existence.

As such, many countries have adopted Montessori methods in their homes.

Montessori in Nigerian Homes

Most schools guided by the Montessori curriculum are schools that are located in the southern regions of Nigeria. These include states like Lagos, Port Harcourt, Ondo, and only a few in Northern Nigeria which are mostly located in the Federal Capital Territory in the North-Central. Its knowledge and application seem to be limited as northerners are generally more conservative.

However, we need not wait for its widespread in schools located in Northern Nigeria before we can apply it in our homes. Women in many regions within and outside Nigeria have already adopted Montessori education at home.

Similarly, the lifestyle of Northern Nigerian women in Nigeria proves to be especially suitable for the application of Montessori methods in the home for the following reasons:

Montessori years begin at pre-school or homeschooling age, that is from 0-3 years as in Northern Nigeria.

Most northern Nigerian women especially housewives would have ample time to spend with their children.

The one-on-one relationship gives a mother the mentorship advantage.

Northern Nigerian mothers can conveniently create a personalized learning environment for the children for learning and development using local materials and methods.

How to Implement Montessori in Your Home Using These 5 Steps

How does a woman begin implementing Montessori at home? Does she jump to the first video tutorial she sees on YouTube?

A woman needs to understand that there are a variety of ways of implementing Montessori at home that needs to tally with the individual needs of the child. When it comes to Montessori, the one-size-fits-all is not advisable. These five steps will guide a woman on ways to start implementing Montessori in her home;

Step 1: Assess Personal Discipline Style

The Montessori Method gives wide room for the child to do what he wants. A mother might consider coming up with a positive rather than a negative approach to maintaining discipline.

Step 2: Assess Your Space

Look around your home and include your child’s needs in the space. For example, provide a low bed he can climb up and down on his own, or provide his very own low utensil cabinet in the kitchen.

By doing things on his own, it will enable him to achieve confidence, independence, and self-sufficiency.

Step 3: Follow Your Child

This step is the most important when implementing Montessori at home. Observe your child’s most minimal behaviours like how he twists his fingers, eats, and communicates. This will enable you to find out where your child is developmental as an individual. It is more recommended than comparing him to his age mates or siblings since every child is unique.

You also need to know;

What motivates your child?

Consider his sensitive periods

Find out which schema he belongs to

Some of these will be explained more in detail as we progress.

Step 4: Prepare the Environment

Make the environment safe for your child. Constantly buy or recycle his toys when he begins to show disinterest in the ones he is using.

Also, allow him to choose which toy he wishes to use. In this step, make sure you remove yourself and try not to influence his choices with your personal thoughts or actions.

Step 5: Practical Life

Involving your child in your every day will make him feel like a valued member of the family. Talk to your child constantly, ask them questions even if it means providing the answer yourself. Engage him in formal practical life activities like helping to wipe the table or doing the dishes. This will give him an added sense of belonging and responsibility.

Be careful not to overburden him though, such that he won’t feel like it is a chore and lose interest. In that case, don’t force your child as that will only make him lose interest more. 

What to Know Before Implementing Montessori at Home

Incidentally, there are mental tools the northern Nigerian mother needs to equip herself with before embarking on the journey of becoming a Montessori mentor to her child. Concepts that need to be explored will better inform her of the choices she will make in the future. 

1. Child Development Ages and Stages

The growth and development of a child may occur at different paces for children, but generally, they usually exhibit similar characteristics within a stipulated time. These have been categorized into six stages with each exhibiting mean characteristics. The period between 0-3 years are outlined as follows:

  • Birth to three months: Behavioral characteristics of babies in this time include kicking, stretching, responding to loud noises, and grasping at things like your finger.
  • Four to six months: At this time, babies are more social and interested in their surroundings. They grab toys, grab hair or hold toys, laugh and squeal more, blow bubbles, and generally sleep longer.
  • Seven to twelve months: Babies engage in mobile activities like rolling over, crawling, standing, and strength testing.
  • One to two years: A child becomes more conscious of behaviors of himself and others. He is eager to learn and starts communicating through words and facial expressions.
  • Two to three and a half years: Toddler begins developing a distinct personality and changes in his social, intellectual, and emotional activities. He is constantly exploring so safety is paramount and needs a lot of attention 

2. Principles of Montessori Education.

There are many principles guiding Montessori education but whether at home or in school, these five principles are key in practising the Montessori Method:

  • Children are shown respect and taught kindness through demonstration by the mentor
  • Children have absorbent minds and as such, are always eager to learn from their environment
  • Sensitive periods for children are critical for heightened learning. Mentors should seize this to provide resources and opportunities for optimal learning
  • Children learn best in a prepared environment: Provide a variety of materials and organise resources for individual selection of the child in a safe and free environment
  • Children can teach themselves through auto-education by active exploration: Encourage them by introducing new materials in a prepared environment. 

3. Sensitive Periods of Development of a Child

This is a period of a child’s natural burning interest in something. Maria Montessori recognized eleven basic sensitive periods of development of children regarding them as windows of opportunity. They include movement, math patterns, emotional control, order, interest in small objects vocabulary, sensations, letters shapes and sounds, music, and writing.

  • Movement: Born with limited movement control, children develop cognitive abilities as they learn to use their bodies.
  • Math patterns:  Montessori informs us that babies are born with mathematical minds
  • Need for order: Children, (six months to three years) desire order and throw tantrums if the order is disrupted.
  • Interest in small objects: Leads to development of fine motor control and the pincer grasp essential for writing and other important skills
  • Vocabulary: Children (under the age of six) are hardwired for language acquisition
  • Sensation: Children (between two and a half to five years) are drawn to tracing textured letters with their fingers while matching the sound of a letter to its shape
  • Letters, shapes, and sounds: Children becoming sensitive and interested in these
  • Music:  Children (three years) experience a sensitive period for learning rhythm, pitch, and more. It develops their brain and leads to academic, social, and emotional growth.
  • Writing and Reading: Children are open to the right information at the right time. When ready for them, learning is a natural continuous process.

4. The Concept of a Schema

An important aspect of Montessori education is the concept of schema. A schema is a set of instructions one creates through repetitive trial and error. This proves to find the best and efficient ways of completing tasks.

There are eight schemas outlined by Montessori which children may use varyingly at different periods including connecting, orientation, Transporting, trajectory, positioning, enveloping, enclosing, and rotation.

  • Connecting: a child may connect and disconnect a tower of blocks in an effort to understand how things come together and fall apart. By doing this, he understands, strength, stickiness, purchase, and slippiness,
  • Orientation: A child may swing upside down to discover seeing things from a different point of view. This builds their confidence in physical activities when anticipating how a player might move.
  • Transporting: A child may move items from point A to B to see something happen as a result of their hard work and gain pleasure from it.
  • Trajectory: A child may drop food from his chair or watch a pendulum in action. These develop into throwing, catching, kicking, and driving skills.
  • Positioning: A child may arrange toys or create scenes and displays. This will help later in maintaining neat works in school books or placing shoes under pegs.
  • Enveloping: A child may enjoy filling empty boxes to discover what happens if they hide or wrap an object.
  • Enclosing: A child may want to create an enclosure for his toys in an effort to learn how to create boundaries. Eventually, enclosing skills leads to learning letter formation.
  • Rotating: A child may twirl round or watch the washing machine that eventually leads to understanding rotational symmetry in mathematics.

Conclusion

In this article we have journeyed through and learned the following:

  • Children begin their developmental and cognitive journey from a young age (0-3 years) which compels us to understand and guide them.
  • Montessori is a befitting guide to raising and educating our children because of its child-centered nature which assists us in understanding our child.
  • The northern Nigerian mother is the best person to begin a Montessori child’s journey before school due to her domestic lifestyle and position which gives her a mentorship advantage.
  • The northern Nigerian mother needs to understand every child is different and equip herself with basic child development knowledge and Montessori concepts before jumping into implementing Montessori at home.

Also, the write-up also advises the future or already practising Montessori mother to:

  • Treat every child as a separate individual and realize his needs are dynamic.
  • Prepare the child’s environment and space based on the child’s existing schema and seize a child’s sensitive period to educate him.
  • Keep constantly researching about Montessori methods.

Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoyed the read.

Raising a Kid as a Single Parent in Northern Nigeria

Raising a Kid as a Single Parent in Northern Nigeria

Raising a child as a single parent is stressful. This stage comes with several unpredictable changes and takes your life off balance. You will have to make crucial decisions. Oftentimes, choosing the happiness of your child over yours. Recently, the percentage of single parents is rampant. This is as a result of a separation or divorce. Which leaves hurting scars on the child involved.

Therefore, as a single parent, you need to equip yourself with the right knowledge and skills to raise a decent child without burning out. Irrespective of your partner’s absence—although it hurts. 

How to Raise a Child as a Single Parent

1. Eliminate perfection

Expecting to be perfect at raising a child even as a single parent is the fastest route to stress. This mindset builds pressure on you and makes you liable to other forms of health challenges such as depression and high blood pressure (hypertension).

Therefore, give yourself some credit and take parenting one step at a time. In addition, don’t give in to self-guilt when you get into mistakes. Such as using violent methods to discipline your child, nagging, abandoning them to the care of someone else, or pampering them. Accept your mistakes and learn from them. 

2. As a Single Develop an Optimistic Attitude

As a parent, you are the first role model of your child. In other words, they are watching every step you take, this includes your attitude. Despite the awful situation surroundings you at the moment, you need to maintain an optimistic attitude. Your attitude influences that of your child.

Therefore, being negative when things go wrong will discourage your child from trusting you. Instead, cheer them up with positive words and an outlook.

3. Tell Your Child About the Separation or Divorce

Be open to tell your child about the absence of your partner. Keeping it a secret will tarnish the blossoming relationship with your child when they find out by themselves. Telling your child about the separation enables them to understand and cooperate with you better. However, don’t create a wrong impression about your partner before your kid, despite what they may have done.

This wrong impression may later result in resentment towards those of the same sex as your departed partners either male or female. 

4. Create a Light Schedule For Yourself

The day you become a single parent marks the dawn of an entirely new life for you. Therefore, things are not going to be the same. And you would need to adapt to the new change. Hence, you need to lighten up your schedule by erasing unnecessary activities. Any activities that add little or no value to your life are best avoided.

Whereas, there are other activities you need to engage in once a month or suspend until your kids are much older. 

5. Financial Stability is Needed 

A stable financial life will be required to keep the family together. This will require effective planning on how to utilize your monthly earnings towards the needful. The needful includes providing the necessities of life and health care facilities for yourself and your child. In addition, affording a standard school for your child and other miscellaneous.

Raising a child as a single parent requires discipline in terms of money management. This will enable you to meet up financial goals and invest your money wisely. Always have a plan B for the unexpected event and the future. Subsequently, as a single parent, don’t rely on one source of earning. Engage in various legit businesses and learn to cut your coat according to your size.

6. Spend Quality Time With Your Kids

Oftentimes, your child may begin to feel the absence of your departed partner and results in emotional disorder. However, to fill in that gap, you need to spend quality time with your child. And engage in the activities that make them happy. Although there may be times you need to stay out late to make extra money.

However, don’t make that your routine which can detach you from your kids. A close, healthy relationship with your kids helps you discover your child’s passion. Likewise, their weaknesses, to help them improve. Spending quality time is one of the activities that can increase the love bond with your kids. 

7. Create a Routine and Stick With it

A balanced routine helps create an order for your day-to-day activities and that of your child. This reduces stress and encourages independence in the life of your child. So, even while you’re away for some time, your child can coordinate him/her self.

There should be a set time to perform the important activities such as a set time for shopping, cooking, doing the home chores, and exercise.

8. Set Limit to Your Action

To control the urge of giving your child whatever they ask for, you will need to set limits and stick to them. Setting boundaries is one of the proper methods of disciplining your child. This helps instruct and guide them on the right code of conduct to put on. Set a limit to what they eat, how they associate with their peer’s and the time spent on the screen.

Instead, occupy them with activities that improve their emotional intelligence and academic performance. 

9. Create a Personal Time

Your health as a single parent influences the wellbeing of your child because if you get sick, there’s no other person to look after your child to your satisfaction. Therefore, don’t become a workaholic, which causes the body system to break down. Create time; a time for yourself away from distractions. A time to relax and meditate. Also, a time to engage in the activities you love and spend time with your friends.

These sets of activities boost your immune system, enabling you to think through your problems from an advantageous perspective. Furthermore, it enhances your mental, physical, social, and emotional health. 

10.  As a Single Parent Take Decision Making Serious 

A large percentage of single parents struggle to make crucial decisions about the well-being of their families. This is because they have become accustomed to sharing ideas with their partner before concluding what to do. Therefore, the departure of their partner leaves them confused. They begin to doubt if the choices they make are right.

On the contrary, as a single parent, you need firm courage in decision-making. Believe that your decision is for the betterment of everyone. Perhaps, you’re unsure about certain decisions, consult a family counsellor or a trusted friend or family member.

11. Share With Other Parents How You Feel

When it comes to healthy parenting, no one is a superhero at training kids. Similarly, every parent needs the advice of other parents to forge ahead when raising a child as a single parent. There will come a time in your life as a single parent where you’re overburdened and feel like giving in to your challenges. During this period, staying alone often leads to depression. Instead, learn to share your feelings with others who are willing to listen to you.  

Seeking the help of others doesn’t mean you’re weak or makes you an irresponsible parent, rather, it helps you ease the burden you feel. However, you should join a single parents club or group. This helps you get advice from other parents who can relate to what you are experiencing in raising a child as a single parent. 

12. Create a Relationship Between Your Child and the Opposite Sex

This kind of relationship depends on the gender of the partner that has departed, either male or female. There is always a need for a child to feel the love of both a mother and a father while growing up. Therefore, create a connection between your child and a trusted person. A person who truly shows and represents the love that your child needs to receive from a mother or a father. This could be a family friend or relatives or counsellor.

Conclusion

Raising a child as a single parent can be made much easier if you take parenting one step at a time. It isn’t compulsory to get it right at first. Gradually, with time, you will succeed at raising a child without the help of a partner.

Perhaps, you have a tight working schedule to meet up with the growing family needs, endeavour to get a babysitter to look after your kids while you’re away. Meanwhile, this practise shouldn’t be a routine. This often distances you from your child, which is one of the parenting mistakes you should avoid.

Finally, share your thoughts in the comment section below.