11 Signs That Show You Were Raised by Nigerian Parents

11 Signs That Show You Were Raised by Nigerian Parents

by | Dec 21, 2021 | Entertainment

To be born in Nigeria is one thing. To grow up with Nigerian parents is another. But then, growing up with Nigerian parents comes with its perks. This is so because their methods of moral orientation will shape you in such a pattern that allows you to perceive the intricacies of life while growing up. Nigerian parents don’t allow their children to do useless things. Thus, they nurture their children until the ethos inculcated in them becomes unforgettable.

However, growing up in a Nigerian home can make some children feel suffocated by the iron hands used in moulding them. But it doesn’t kill them. It only makes them stronger. You know, sometimes, they can just be difficult to deal with. Moreover, when you see certain children or people behave in a disciplined manner, then, such is attributed to the proper upbringing. Nevertheless, Nigerian parents are often glorified for their nifty style of parenting.

Signs That Show you Were Indeed Raised by Nigerian Parents

1. Helping an Elderly Person with Work

One of the traits which exhibit that you grew up with Nigerian parents is helping an elderly figure do something. The thing may be heavy or not, it doesn’t matter. In Nigeria age is revered. Once you become an elderly person. Young people cannot just watch you carry anything by yourself.

Also, when you see an elderly person working, you give a helping hand to that person. It doesn’t necessarily have to be your parents who need helping household chores but it’s expected that the ethos inculcated in you must have given you common sense. It is more like a taboo for you to pass an elderly person without proffering any form of assistance.

2. Sneaking Out to Play With Friends

Nigerian parents so much believe in controlling the playing time of children. It’s as though they have no idea that playtime is an essential part of childhood development. For their child to play too much, it is better they read too much. If you really grew up with Nigerian parents, you can attest that it’s the strictness that makes you weasel out of the house to play with your friends.

“All work no play makes Jack a dull boy” is most common among the boys. They scheme their sneaking timetable in tandem with when their parents leave home. Nigerian parents don’t understand the language of harmonizing work with play.

3. You Never Cry When Lashed

Spare the rod and spoil the child, has always been one of the most cherished principles of Nigerian parents. They don’t want to hear you preach things like counselling their children to stop them from doing something wrong. The only instrument that serves as deterrence towards something bad is “Koboko whip”. They’ll batter your body black and blue, adding that, “if I hear pim, you’ll receive more.”

You are already in pain and wouldn’t want to be flayed alive, so you’ll cry inwardly. When they flog you, they warn you not to wail.

You may want to check out: Beating or Scolding? This is the Correct Way to Discipline Your Child

4. Wanting to Become a Medical Doctor

One of the most intriguing parts about growing up with Nigerian parents is the subconscious persuasion of becoming a medical doctor. (Nigerian parents are not moved by the mere idea of becoming veterinary doctors.) Nigerian parents love to extol the medical profession like it is in every child’s destiny to embrace it. They make it seem like any profession that isn’t MBBS is second.

A lot of Nigerian children out there were, and are still made to believe that becoming a medical doctor is one of the best decisions a child can make regarding future ambitions. But their parents preferred them to study MBBS as one of the most accomplished courses in one’s life. They imply that other professions do not have first-class regard like medicine.

5. Sneaking Out to See Your Lover

This point is mostly connected to girls. Nigerian parents are anti-boyfriend and protective when boys start seeing their daughters. They get this popular belief that boyfriends are a distraction as well as a harbinger of shame.

More so, parents are always cautious of the bad influence that comes with dating. A lot of girls on the other hand cannot do without seeing their boyfriends. Thus, they sneak out to spend time with their lovers.

6. Putting on a New Dress You Don’t Fancy

You just can’t escape this one if you’re growing up with Nigerian parents. From sewing dresses with mawkish style to buying clothes you don’t find attractive. Sometimes Nigerian parents don’t give you room to select what suits your taste buds.

It’s one of those annoying things Nigerian parents do. You must bend to their command, which is regarded as absolute.

7. Avoiding Eye Contact With Elders

Whenever an elder speaks to you, your eyes must never meet theirs. It is perceived as utter disrespect seeing a child look at elders in the eyes when spoken to. So when you’re growing up with a Nigerian parent, you’ll learn to lower your gaze when an elderly person is talking.

The moment an elderly person notices you look at him/her in the eye, the first thing that comes to their mind is that the child is from an uncultured home. And most Nigerian parents don’t allow such indiscipline to manifest in their children.

8. Early Morning Pleasantries to Parents

Nigerian parents love it went their children are well disciplined. Whenever a child wakes up in the morning, it is a ritual to greet his parents. When you grow up with Nigerian parents, early morning sleep isn’t an excuse. If one wants to be free from their drama, it is best to occupy oneself with morning chores.

In addition, Nigerian parents do not tolerate nonsense. They strongly believe in discipline from A-Z. If you happen to come across someone who greets his/her parents early in the morning, you should understand that that person comes from a Nigerian setting. It becomes part and parcel of that person.

9. The Joy of Guests’ Leftover

Truth be told, everyone knows how Nigerian parents regard guests, they treat them like gods. The way they appease them will amaze you, so much that their children will be craving for the leftovers of either juice, snacks, etc.

Nigerian children like to scavenge the packages given to guests. They will be yearning and waiting patiently for the guests to say “I think I shall be taking my leave” so that they can taste all the sweat their mothers broke to make such a masterpiece. Nothing excites Nigerian children like asking their mother, “can I drink the remaining Fanta?” They’re always hopeful that their requests become granted after their long-term patience.

Typical Nigerian children are crazy!

10. You are Always Greeting a Person You Don’t Know

One of the signs that shows growing up with Nigerian parents in one is when parents call their children to greet a distant relative or a family friend. “Mansur, come and greet my mother’s step-grand uncle. He used to visit us when you were born.” And then, the guest will respond, “You won’t know me.” Proudly, they will say it in a tone of jest. And as a child, you have no choice but to greet them.

Nigerian parents are funny people. You can’t take it away from them. Some of the things they do will just leave you shaking your head inwardly, especially as a child. “Mama why na?” can be one of the things that will cross your mind but then, you love them anyway because of their selfless sacrifice.

11. Assisting an Elderly Person Carry Stuffs

There’s a difference between growing up with a Nigerian parent and growing up with a “Nigerian parent”. The first one in bold means Nigerians who are hardworking and train their children to be disciplined in all ramifications, while the second one simply means Nigerian parents who do not strive to inculcate proper values into their children. In a nutshell, when we speak of Nigerian parents, we talk about the first one.

Another sign that shows one grew up with Nigerian parents is assisting an elderly person carry anything with a considerable amount of weight. It is taboo to see an elderly person carrying, let’s say a piece of luggage, and you confidently just walk past them or even ignore the elderly person. The ideal thing to do is to quickly collect the item from the elder, even if the elder says you should leave it. When they say leave it, you should have the sense not to “leave it”.

Nigerian parents don’t allow the infection of indiscipline to afflict their kids.

Conclusion

Summarily, it is reasonable to conclude that growing up with Nigerian parents impacts you in so many ways. Yes, Nigerian parents are strict, that’s unequivocally true. But then, they display their strictness at the cost of giving their children the best in everything. Nigerian parents hate to hear people blemish either their name or reputation.

So as a child, when you’re being raised by them, you’ll ooze with so many traits that whenever people see you, you’ll be recognized and also respected. Those signs can boldly be perceived like messages written on a billboard.

Please feel free to drop your thoughts and opinion on this article. Thank you.

You can also read on: How to Raise a Child as a Single Parent in Arewa.

Beating or Scolding? Which is the Correct Way to Discipline Your Child?

Beating or Scolding? Which is the Correct Way to Discipline Your Child?

by | May 24, 2021 | Family & Parenting

The act of spanking children for behaving badly is stored up in the subconscious mind of most parents. Therefore, beating, scolding, spanking and its sorts come like a reflex action. It seems to be the fastest and effective tactic to show disapproval over a child’s wrong deed. However, as a parent, these are negative modes of disciplining your child. These methods are effective for a short period and cause long-term damages to a child.

Discipline is all about guiding, instructing, and training a child about the Dos and Don’ts of behaviour. In essence, teaching them to comply with the right code of conduct. However, when kids go against these rules they are being forced to face the consequences of their actions through punishment.

It’s disastrous to beat your child without stating their wrong, It passes the wrong message of cruelty to them. Besides, this creates more tendency of repeating that same wrong. Therefore, in this post, we shall be evaluating other alternatives to beating your child. 

What are the Effects Of Beating Your Kids?

1. Beating imbibes Fear in Your Child

Violence towards kids ignites fear in their hearts. They begin to view you as a taskmaster instead of a loving parent. Subsequently, your presence starts terrifying them. These sets of kids wouldn’t love to try anything new or explore with their peers. Due to fear of being spanked by their parents if they do something wrong.

2. Poor Cognitive Abilities

Victims of negative discipline lose touch with their minds and brains. They experience difficulty thinking through logical questions or manage their emotions. The danger is this since such a child no longer reason appropriately they indulge in wrong behaviour innocently and get punished. This circle continues and eventually, the child’s mental health becomes deteriorated.

3. Physical Injury

Mostly, beating a child results in physical injury. Due to uncontrollable anger, parents go the extra mile in ensuring that children sustain injuries to serve as a reminder. However, this is the wrong way to discipline your child. The physical scars might heal, although the internal scars last longer. 

Recently, there have been cases whereby in the act of disciplining a child, the object used gets in contact with delicate organs of the body such as the eyes. Resulting in further intense damages. Hence, to avoid regrets, learn to apply the alternative method of disciplining your child.

4. Decreases The Love Bond

All parents desire to be closely connected to their kids and would search out activities that can increase the love bond. However, they fail to realize that beating a child makes their initial desires fruitless. It makes no sense telling your kids how much you love them and the next minute you’re spanking them. In essence, beating detached you from your kids.

5. Low Self-esteem is Often a Result of treating a Child Violently

Beating makes a child think less of themselves, and call themselves failures. They begin to feel it’s because they aren’t good enough that they get punished frequently. Gradually they become antisocial. These kids are prone to negative self-talk and suicidal thoughts since their self-esteem is damaged.

6. Violence/Anger

The more you spank a child, you’re indirectly telling that child that beating is the standard way of showing disapproval when someone does something wrong. Therefore, when offended by their peers, immediately they retaliate by displaying aggressive behaviours.

This is The Correct Way to Discipline Your Child

1.  Give Your Child Proper Training

Don’t expect your kids to do the right thing when you haven’t told them what’s expected of them. As a parent don’t allow your kids to guess their way through. Create time to teach them the Dos and Don’ts of behaviour. They deserve to know! Failure to do this makes your child feel hated when beaten for what they had little or no knowledge about. Furthermore, ensure they are cognizant of the needful skills that help in regulating their behaviours such as effective communication skills and tolerance etiquette.

2. Teach Your Child About Consequences, Instead of Beating

In addition to knowing the right way to behave, your kids still deserve to learn about the consequences of negative and positive behavioural patterns. Let them know what punishments are attached to being disobedient. Likewise, the rewards for being obedient. This will guide them in doing the right thing and save you the stress of beating your child whenever they go wrong.

3. Withdraw Privilege When Your Kids Go Wrong

This method is based on the privilege enjoyed by your kids. Therefore, when disciplining your child, don’t hesitate to withdraw certain privileges enjoyed by your kids when they go astray. This method teaches them that what they had done was wrong.

For instance, if they are caught fighting, instead of beating them, insist they stay away from TV, video games, or outing with friends for a period of time. Oftentimes, you need to take back their pocket money for grown-up kids for some time. In addition, add up to their normal home chores as a way of showing disapproval over their manner. However, don’t go extreme with this method.

4. Reward Good Behavior to Encourage Positive Manners

Kids are motivated to do their best next time when they are being rewarded for behaving right. Rewarding them with gifts gives them a reason to continue on that same behavioural path that earns them those rewards. And shy away from negative behaviours. Let them know which of their behaviours was commended. In addition, you can make disciplining your child a fun activity to do by keeping score sheets and giving stars. Whereby, showcasing a well-mannered behaviour earns them stars and points.

5. Talking Often Resolve the Issues Between You and Your Child Compared to scolding

To succeed at disciplining your kids there will be a time when you need to sit with them and talk. Talk about why he or she misbehaved, while they talk, listen attentively. Whenever kids give genuine reasons for their actions or show remorse, as a parent your anger gets to subside. Besides, No one is above mistakes, therefore, even with the rules and consequences they can still go astray. Hence, when they make mistakes, sit them down and tell them how disappointed you’re about their behaviours. Likewise, how you expected more from them. Applying this alternative shows them how much you love them.

6. Reasoning Techniques is an Advantageous Punishment for Kids

You can discipline your child and at the same time improve their intelligence IQ through reasoning techniques. Instead of beating your kids for doing the wrong thing, give them reasoning punishment. 

For instance, when your kids go wrong, ask them to write a letter stating what they did, why they did it, and a letter of apology with a specific word count. Two copies for you and two copies for themselves. It’s wise to request that they rewrite if the letters are poorly written. 

7. Be A Role Model 

Kids are uniquely designed to watch and learn from their parents. Therefore, almost every behaviour they exhibit is copied from what they see their parents doing. This is another indicator to help you in disciplining your child. First, ensure that those things you beat your kids for are not evident in your life. Perhaps, you behave like that unconsciously. Make amends! Be a good role model for your child to emulate.

Conclusion

Parenting isn’t an easy route to trail on. In essence, patience is a vital ingredient in parenting. This helps you not to go extreme when disciplining your child. However, If as a parent you still struggle to manage your emotions such as anger it would be difficult not to retaliate when your kid’s misbehaviour. Therefore, work on that temperament. Keep them under control.

Finally, ensure to share your views in the comment section.