by Happiness Hassan | Apr 10, 2022 | Family & Parenting
Conflict of interest in career choice between parents and their children is one of the factors igniting family dispute, which eventually terminates the love, trust, unity, understanding, and harmony in a home. Oftentimes, propels children to rebel against their parents. However, to avert disheartening statements in the future such as I hate what I do and life is miserable for me because my parents are forcing me into a career I dislike, it’s best if you speak up in the right way.
Reasons Why Parents Choose Careers for Their Children
It’s wrong for parents to force their children into careers they have little or no passion for. In essence, a career is a lifetime occupation that requires you to make the decision yourself and not your parents. However, parents believe they know what’s best for their children and are in the position to decide what career they should venture into, besides they pay the bills.
Reasons for this are traced to a parental desire for a socially recognized career, careers with more job opportunities, and a selfish reason to preserve their family status. Learn more about the role of parents in their child’s career choice.
Know That Rebelling is not an Option
My parents are forcing me into a career and I’m not interested, what can I do? Ahmad laments. His family wants him to become a doctor. Unfortunately, he grew up in a family passionate about medical sciences. His dad is a doctor, his mom a pharmacist, while his sister is into the nursing profession.
They own a private hospital. His dad continually reminded him of heading to the family hospital someday. Ahmad had something entirely different from what his parents wanted for him.
His passion was architecture, being scared of disobeying his parents he kept quiet and devised his scheme. Unknowingly to his parents, he had a change of course and for years lied to his parents hoping to convince him his excellent grades in architecture having graduating. Surprisingly, the reverse was the case. His deceit brought enmity between him and his parents shattered their love and trust for him.
Moreover, if you find yourself in Ahmad’s story you don’t have to remain silent at the expense of your happiness nor should you rebel.
Here is What You Should Do If You Are Forced Into A Career You Don’t Like
1. Understand Your Parents
Your parents forcing you into a career probably have something good in mind. Remember, they will not make choices that are detrimental to your well-being. Their choice might be different from yours but not a horrible option. Hence, consider their perspective. Ask yourself the reasons why your parents want you to pick a certain career, is there a selfish reason? Inquire about the benefit associated with that career path.
To be more practical, how would you react if you were in your parent’s shoes someday and your child rebels against your choice? That doesn’t seem right. You can convince them when you speak from their standpoints.
2. Communicate Your Feelings Effectively
This is a medium that helps you express how you feel towards your parent’s choice, likewise convince them about your own desired career. Silence never solves the problem of your parents forcing you into a career you dislike.
Discard the feeling of fear from your mind when approaching your parents and employ the following communication tactics.
Select Your Words Carefully
To successfully convince your parents, be mindful of your word usage, avoid using words such as you have no right over me, I am old enough to make my own choices, I have my life to live. Those kinds of words harden their heart the more.
In contrast, use words like “I trust your choice for me” “I know you have my best at heart” and more.
Moderate Your Tune
Your tune while conversing either creates a negotiable atmosphere or an uneasy one. Speak with courtesy because pleasant words spoken in a calm tune loosens up the hearts and promotes agreement.
Time Your Approach
It’s a fruitless effort attempting to convince your parents when they are stressed out or upset. Hence, observe their moods, you can also set a happy atmosphere by assisting them in completing their activities for the day or prepare a surprise meal for them before approaching them.
Have A Heart-to-heart Conversation
Your parents will always rethink when every word you express is said from your heart, putting your emotions to play. Learn more about effective communication.
3. Talk To Your Role Model
Humans are easily convinced by the good example presented to them. Therefore, become courageous to show your parents people who are successful in your desired fields, this practice assures your parents that you are not making the wrong choice.
Also, provide a thousand acceptable reasons why you choose a career entirely different from theirs, the benefits associated with the career. Likewise, their success stories remind changing agents.
4. Bring in a Third Party
Perhaps, other steps aren’t sufficient, and you are afraid of approaching your parents, then get a third party involved. However, you need to be mindful of the kinds of third parties you invite. Meanwhile, there are standard third parties capable of convincing your parents about your choice. They include your Malam, Pastor or a community leader.
Furthermore, sign up for a counselling session with a career counsellor or coach, you can also invite them over to your house to talk with your parents. These counsellors are trained in the field of career choice and conflict of Interest among parents and children, hence they know the perfect approach to apply notwithstanding how difficult your parent might be.
5. Express Your Passion
Parents are humans with natural emotions. Begin by letting your parents know how difficult their chosen career would be for you and how you might end up failing in that career path. On hearing this, most times they give their support in favour of your career because no parent wants to waste their time, resource and efforts on a career that will result in future failure.
Likewise, outline your plans and objectives for choosing your preferred career for your parents.
6. Promise And Fulfil
Take responsibility for every choice you make. Your parents might doubt your success in your desired field and force you into careerism different from your plans. However, their minds and choice can be reversed by making a promise.
For instance, committing yourself to excellence and making yourself proud when given the free will to decide for yourself. Don’t make them regret their chance of plans for you.
Conclusion
The steps mentioned above are an effective approach to convincing your parents. You don’t have to rebel or deceive them, instead, work towards understanding and convincing them strategically knowing that they love you and would always want the best for you.
Have you been forced into a career before? Let me know how you handled it in the comments box.
by Abdulganiyu Ibrahim | Sep 8, 2021 | Personal Growth
Wow, You’ve actually got the call and you’ve been invited for the job interview? That’s great news. But hope you won’t mind if I get you acquainted with the interview do’s and don’ts. Nice decision then. It will be of great interest to share with you some interview do’s and don’ts which can land you the job you have hoped for.
The Do’s of an Interview
1. Do Research About the Company
The more you know about the company or the employer before the interview, the better for you. This is because extensive research will surely widen your knowledge as regards the company or the employer.
However, this will surely help you in providing answers to the questions dished from the interviewer.
2. Do Turn Off Your Phone
To avoid distraction from your phone while the interview section is on, it is advised to have your phone switched off.
3. Do Introduce Yourself
Among the things you should consider in doing in an interview is to let the interviewers know who you are by introducing yourself, and other information which you think is of relevance for them to know.
4. Smile, Be Friendly, and Maintain Eye Contact
Be friendly to anyone you’re in contact with from the moment you walk in the door to the moment you leave. Smiling will create a warm and positive impression of you. However, maintaining eye contact will demonstrate your self-confidence, focus, and respect for others.
5. Maintain a Proper Sitting Posture
Do sit up straight with your feet flat on the floor, hands on your lap or chair, and your back against the chair. This open posture will show that you are interested and engaged.
6. Do Take Your Time When Answering A Question
it’s vital you are aware of the interviewer’s body language to identify if your answers are going on too long. Are they looking at their watch or the clock to check the time?
Depending on the question, a one or two-minute response is typically appropriate, but assuming the interviewer knows nothing about you or the answers to the question, you can provide enough detail to answer the questions completely.
7. Be Positive During Your Interview
They are looking for a candidate that displays positivity. A person who will fit well within their team. However, make sure to use positive and constructive language when discussing conflicts or difficult situations.
8. Do Dress Properly
This can be achieved by wearing professional or business casual attire, choose a solid colour and subtle patterns and make sure that your clothes are clean, ironed, and not wrinkled. Ensure you are well groomed by having clean and neat hair. This is because your professional image and visual presentation weigh heavily on the employer’s impression of you.
As a rule of thumb, focus on dressing one step above what they would wear to the workplace you applying to. This may involve researching the company before or asking the person who has called to schedule what the dress code is.
A good first impression can spark the interviewer’s interest in you. Follow those tips to make a confident and professional first impression.
Furthermore, don’t wear any clothing that is too tight, revealing, or uncomfortable. You should however avoid noisy or distracting jewellery or patterns, heavy watches, and loud makeup. Be aware of scent-free policies.
The Don’ts of an Interview
1. Don’t Appear Unprepared
Don’t present yourself before the interviewer without knowing anything about the company or the employer, as that will make you look unserious when you start to fumble on questions you are expected to answer correctly but show no knowledge about.
2. Don’t Show up Late for the Interview
Showing up late to an interview tells the interviewer you’re unorganized and could ruin the chances of landing the job. So if you truly know you will be running late, call at least a few hours to the time of the interview to apologize for your unavailability, stating the genuine reason for that.
This will give them the opportunity to reschedule if it is more convenient.
11. Don’t High Five Your Interviewer
One of the don’ts in an interview is to never extend your greetings to your interviewers in form of a high five or any other form of greetings that might seem improper. You should rather greet either by extending your hand for a not too weak or strong handshake or by a blossom ‘good morning ‘ or the likes.
You should learn how to properly shake hands too.
12. Don’t Slouch or Cross Your Arms
It’s wrong to angle yourself away from the interviewer. Poor posture or close body language might make you seem disinterested or defensive.
13. Avoid Fidgeting
This could be achieved by holding your hands on your knees to be more aware of your leg movements or hold your hands together.
You can as well remove any objects from your vision that you might be tempted to play with.
14. Make Use of the 7c’s of Communicating During an Interview
Speak clearly and articulate your words. The 7 C’s of communication will help you with that. Show enthusiasm in your tone of voice and maintain an appropriate volume for the size of the room and the number of people you’re meeting with. Mock interviews and practising out loud can help you improve your speech.
In addition, Be mindful of the pace, clarity, tone, and volume of your speech. Don’t shout, whisper, speak super quickly, or be monotonous. Don’t give answers that are too short or very long. Also, don’t be rude or withdrawn.
Whether you are talking to the interviewer or the people at the reception, be well mannered as you relate.
15. Keep Your Emotions Under Control
Don’t get angry or blame others when talking about previous jobs. Past situations may be emotionally charged, therefore avoid blaming or negative language when discussing previous employers, colleagues, or work environments.
Don’t know how to check your emotions? You can learn to recognize and control them.
16. Don’t Tell Stories That Have Nothing to do With the Job
Do keep your answers straight and relevant. Stay on point and keep the content of your answers relevant to the requirements of the job.
Conclusion
Remember, first impression matters. If you stick to the above interview do’s and don’ts, certainly you would make a good impression at your interview. So go ahead and make a good impression in your interview by abiding by following the interview do’s and don’ts. Don’t forget to share your comments on how the interview went.
Remember to share this article with your friends, and you might also like to check out how you can nail down a job interview in 5 minutes
by Abdulganiyu Ibrahim | Jul 29, 2021 | Personal Growth
Do you want to make a good impression at a job interview? Simple steps to know are the basics of impressing your potential employers.
And at a job interview, you need to make a good impression. Why? Because you need to nail the interview to get the job.
So, what are you going to look out for if you want to make a good impression at a job interview?
We will be sharing with you 10 steps to make a good impression at a job interview.
1. Conduct Research on the company
A successful job interview starts with a solid foundation of knowledge you have of the company. So, it is always advised to conduct research regarding the employer or the company. The more research you make, the more you will understand the company and be able to provide answers to some questions that would be asked.
Why I said that was because, an interviewer may choose to, or may decide to ask you some of the external problems the company is facing which you think is hindering it from moving more forward, is it the brand? The price? The quality? The quality? Etc., And how would you intend to fill the space when you are given the chance to.
Having a good research knowledge about the company helps, And what needs to be put in place to move the company or the employer forward, you might not be opportune to know.
Therefore, it is advisable to know more about the company or the employer before you present yourself for the interview.
2. Plan Your Dressing
Plan out the kind of dress to wear at least a day to the interview. I suggest this because you might be thinking that the cloth is in good shape or good enough, however it may be of a surprise to you that there might be a certain flop in the clothes which might likely hinder your burst of glee.
The flop may be in the form of a stain, wrinkles, tear, oversized, etc. Moreover, in a situation when the company does not have a dress code, you should wear business casual. So remember it is better to be overdressed than to be underdressed.
3. Arrive On Time For The Interview
First impressions matter because there may not be a second chance to redeem yourself.
Most companies count the time you show up at the interview venue as part of the interview process. Therefore, you need to be very punctual to the venue, at least 10 minutes before the commencement of the interview.
4. Enter With Full Confidence
Wait a minute, if you truly want to make a good impression at a job interview, before you enter the room you are going to be interviewed in, you need to take a step back, take a deep breath, relax and enter the room with full confidence.
This is important because you need to be able to express yourself confidently, lest you might be forgetful about what you can do and help the company achieve.
Okay? Then you put on a big smile. Because when you enter the room, you can be confident that you wouldn’t only have the best smile that your interviewer has probably seen, but you will appear so much more confident.
What else would you do to appear confident while entering to be interviewed?
When you enter, the way you do could make a lot of difference, which means you need to realign your posture. Therefore, you need to keep your back straight; don’t slouch while walking. Because when you keep your head down, you would look like a nervous wreck and it would show underconfidence.
But you should want to enter confidently without showing your nervousness or underconfidence in any way.
5. Extend Handshake Back And Maintain Eye Contact
On approaching your potential interviewers, as the case may be, you need to extend back a handshake if they offered but maintain proper eye contact. Mind you, since you have succeeded in establishing that confidence, don’t spoil it by giving a weak or strong handshake. And also for no reason should you withdrawing your eyes contact with theirs.
According to a psychological study, when you look the person in the face or maintain eye contact, it shows that you are hiding nothing. Furthermore, it shows that you are a person who is ready for feedback.
6. Maintain Good Body Postures
This means you sit erect, you don’t slouch. You could practice this in front of a bathroom mirror in advance before the interview.
Check out some guides to maintaining good posture.
7. Don’t Make Unnecessary Body Gestures
This is simply referring to your hands and legs’ movement. No unnecessary shaking of your hands and legs. Make sure to not clutch your hands or arms altogether. It would show you are either nervous, afraid, or not ready for the job.
8. Matching Frequency
This depends on how the interviewer interviews you. If he is enthusiastic, then you should as well match an enthusiastic tone in responding. But if he is more sobber, then you adopt little of the mode in responding to questions. In short, you should either be aping or mirroring.
Moreso, matching the frequency could also be in the way the interview is sitting.
9. Ask Relevant Questions After the interview
Most employers are always looking up to an employee who has the best interest of the company at heart, no matter how hard they are to approach. They are always happy when employers ask what are the things they can do in other to move the company forward, or how to get it out of its hole.
So at the end of the interview, you can as well toss some questions which would feed you more about the company and the things which could be done to improve them in one aspect or the other.
10. Thank Your Interviewer
This is another most important interview tip most people forget about. At the end of the interview, don’t just dash out through the door without sparing few seconds in thanking your interviewer or to every member of the employer’s staff who interviewed you.
Forgetting to do this simple act may speak volumes about your manner, and you do not want them doubting your communication skill and ability to have healthy work relationships with other team members.
Conclusion
Remember, first impression matters. If you stick to these basics, certainly you would make a good first impression at your interview. So go ahead and make a good impression and don’t forget to comment on how it went.
Remember to share this article with your friends, and you might also like to check out how you can nail down a job interview in 5 minutes.
by Happiness Hassan | Mar 1, 2021 | Family & Parenting
A large percentage of parents fail to realize that creativity is not inborn. Rather it’s learned through quality training. As a result of this, they spend their entire life criticizing their children for not performing up to their expectations. Likewise, the thought on how to encourage creativity in a child without experiencing stress keeps brooding through their minds.
Children at the tender stage are quick learners. Hence, it’s more beneficial to boost their creativity at such a stage. In this post, I will share 8 practical steps to foster your kid’s creativity.
Ways to Encourge Your Kids Creativity
1. Get Them Engaged in Creative Activities
Idleness and unproductive activities kill creativity in a child. Get your kids engaged in reasoning activities that enhance their intelligence quotient, encourage them to think outside the box, and do the extraordinary. These activities could include puzzle games, crambo, quantitative and verbal reasoning, camping, and treasure hunting.
It helps groom your child to view life from a broader perspective, outside the four walls of their classroom.
2. Encourage Freedom of Expression
Kids irrespective of their instant location love to live out their true selves, most especially amongst their peers. As a parent, your role in such a scenario is termed observation. Learn to study your kids while they display certain behaviours without scolding. The moment you scold that child fear of expression is inputted into his heart.
By observation, you detect what your child is keen about. Peradventure, you bumped into your child who had turned your living room in a trash bin with old papers, paints, and pencils used in drawing. Of course, I can relate to that initial annoyance to spank that child, seeing the mess the house looks like. Even at that, don’t shut that child up, allow him to express his creativity while you watch. In essence, it’s a pointer to your child’s interest.
3. Provide The Necessary Resources
When your child’s interest is known, step further by providing the needful resources to foster your child’s creativity. Are you parents who are interested in learning how to encourage creativity in a child? Then learn from Khadija’s story.
It was lunchtime, everyone was at the table except Khadija who was busy in her room. What could she be doing her mom ponders as she heads for her room. She had repeatedly called her name, but Khadija was engrossed with something no one knew about. On entering her room, she found her daughter stitching pieces of paper together to form little paper dresses and straps of her old dresses scattered around the room.
Khadija was so focused on what she was doing she didn’t notice the presence of her mom who watched her six-year-old daughter in amazement. Immediately, it dawns on her that Khadija was interested in fashion. The next day she ordered fabrics, buttons, sewing thread of different colours, and tape. Hence, she has succeeded in enhancing her daughter’s creativity in fashion by providing the needed resources.
4. Ask Questions
As a parent learn to stretch your child’s curiosity by asking them reasoning questions. Their imaginative faculty gets utilized as they think of answers to the questions asked. Usually, not related to the normal arithmetic and vocabulary studies in their school. Questions like; why is the sky blue and why do you have two eyes.
This set of questions deepen their curiosity as they attempt to provide an answer.
5. Show Interest in Their Creativity
To foster your child’s creativity, avoid criticizing their attempt to do something extraordinary. Always compliment your child whenever they did something good. For instance, your child walked up to you with a book containing a poem she had composed for you as a birthday present. Being a loving parent who is learning how to encourage creativity in a child, don’t start by highlighting the grammatical errors or spelling mistakes in her poem.
Rather, begin by complimenting her beautiful composition, showing how grateful you are, indicating your interest in her passion. Furthermore, don’t restrict your child’s creativity because it isn’t what you want for that child, neither should you pressure them into a career they don’t like.
6. Teach Them Different Methods of Solving Problems
Build your child’s creativity by instructing them on how to create an alternative course of action when faced with a challenge. This is perfectly illustrated in Ali’s story. This young teenager lost track of his mom in the market. However, he was able to locate his mom by putting a call through with the help of a trader’s cellphone.
In a nutshell, Ali would have spent hours crying in search of his mom, perhaps spending a night at the police station before being found by his parents. However, that wasn’t his story because before the incident his parents had taught him their respective phone numbers for emergencies.
7. Ensure Your Kids Achieve a Broader Knowledge
Ensure your kids acquire skills most especially soft skills which are rarely taught in normal academic settings. Acquiring more knowledge exposes them to a range of options. Also, enrol them in classes that enhance their interest. Perhaps, Your child produces Melodious sounds by skillfully hitting sticks on tables in the house. To encourage creativity enrol him in an instrumentalist school.
This is why it is important you consider several factors before choosing your kid’s school.
8. Inculcate Reading Habit in Your Kids
To encourage creativity in a child also entails reading books to gain more knowledge. Your child gets to picture what he or she reads from a book. They begin to create mental possibilities of the story plots in that book. This habit broadens their creativity.
Also, the more your child reads, they learn more about other fields of life and how things are done in different places around the world. It also helps to build their vocabulary and enhance quick understanding.
Conclusion
As a parent, learn to lead by example. It is vital when unveiling the steps on how to encourage creativity in a child. You shouldn’t expect your child to learn various methods of problem-solving when as a parent, you perform one task every day using one method. Likewise, you can’t force them to read while you watch TV shows. You should join them. Preferably allocate time for it.
Also, do share your thoughts regarding this post in the comment section below.
