by Precious Alex-Toji | May 30, 2022 | Personal Growth
We all love compliments. I, for sure, know I do! But, lately, I have realized that most of the compliments people receive focus on their appearance. What if I told you that there are many compliments that have nothing to do with appearance or physical look?
I see I have you wondering already. Most times, we give out compliments based on looks because this is the first impression we have of people.
According to a study, people tend to judge you immediately through your looks and decide if they are willing to give you more of their time.
So, looks tend to be the part of us that gets all of the compliments. However, there are compliments that have nothing to do with appearance. They are somehow similar to how to say I love you without saying it.
Here are 25 non-appearance compliments you can use today!
1. You are so understanding
We tend to overlook the importance of having someone who is empathic enough to understand us as a person as what we are going through. Next time you have a listening ear that gets you, dish out this compliment to that person.
2. You are reliable
Have you been disappointed by people before? Argh! It can be the worse feeling ever. So, learn to compliment people who pull up for you when they say they would, and this is one of the nicest compliments that have nothing to do with appearance out there.
3. You smell really nice
I believe, for the sake of humanity, that everyone owes everyone the courtesy of smelling nice. I love it when people smell so nice and I’m like, “come over here and give me a hug because you smell so good”.
4. You are so friendly
For an introvert like me, hearing this compliment just boosts my self-esteem in public.
5. That was very helpful of you
Always learn to use compliments that have nothing to do with appearance. You can use this if you don’t want to say thank you.
6. You are so smart
People are more than just looks. We also have our brains that need to be complimented too!
7. You have great taste in music
My top-tier compliments! I love it when people have such great taste in music and you can just hear it from their speech.
8. You have a great sense of humor
People with a good sense of humor deserve an ice cream every day. Humour is one of the things that will make someone like you. If you understand sarcasm too, this is one of the compliments that have nothing to do with appearance from me to you.
9. You are so talented
There are amazing people around who do amazing things easily. Acknowledge their talent with this compliment and watch them do more.
10. I like your laughter
We all have that one friend who laughs very weirdly. I think a lot of boys use this line when trying to woo a girl. It’s still a nice compliment though.
11. I respect you
Respect is reciprocal. Giving respect to people speaks of you as a well-trained individual. And this respect should not only be reserved for those above you.
12. That’s thoughtful of you
When people go out of their way to do things for you, courtesy demands that you appreciate them. Like when I go out to grab lunch and I bring a pack for you…
13. I admire your work ethic
This is a professional compliment you say when people exhibit standards when doing their tasks or duties. I once went to a bank and the customer care service refused to pick up a personal call until she was done attending to me.
Trust me to compliment her and she was blushing.
14. You really have an eye for details
People with a keen eye for detail are very observant. They take out time to notice how matching the red line of your gown is to the stitching of your blouse.
Appreciate that they notice the few details you overlook.
15. You mean a lot to me
Another way of appreciating someone dear to you is by telling them just how much they mean to you. Or you could show them instead by dishing out compliments that have nothing to do with appearance.
16. You are an excellent leader
Being a leader is such a heavy task. Having people take notice of how good you are as a leader can push you to do more. Appreciate a leader today.
17. Your smile is contagious
I know someone with such a beautiful smile. Her name is Bambi. If you are seeing this, I love your smile and it’s one of the best things that make my day.
18. You have such a big heart
Kind people have big hearts. Generous people have big hearts. People who think of others have big hearts.
19. I’m proud of you
Years ago, when my dad saw my JAMB score, he hugged me and said “I’m proud of you son”. To date, those words still ring in my ears like the breaktime bell in secondary school.
If someone makes you proud, let them know. Now! It is one of the greatest compliments that have nothing to do with appearance.
20. You speak very fluently
Probably one of the most intellectual compliments, acknowledging a person’s good command of such a nice gesture, especially if you’re complimenting me.
21. You are so generous
You do not have to be rich to be generous. You can be generous with a lot of things, including your time. When people help you out, use this compliment with a thank you note by the side.
22. Your vibe is contagious
All I see are friends who are the life of the party, energetic, and always bringing good vibes. We all have that friend that lights up the room just with their presence. I am not that friend; in case you’re wondering.
23. You are a source of encouragement
Some people seem to have our back when things get tough or we can’t seem to find our way around life. This is a great way to show them you appreciate their efforts.
24. I like how honest you are
In today’s world, honesty is such a rare commodity. If you have honest and trustworthy people around you, dish out this compliment to them like the food at an owambe.
25. You are such a good friend
Finally, a good friend is a gift from earth to you. If you have friends that have been good to you, like Northpad editors, learn to compliment them.
Conclusion
Not all compliments have to be about how you look. There are various compliments that have nothing to do with appearance that you can use to express your admiration of a person.
Learn how to compliment people when they do things that you admire. Are there other compliments I missed? Let me know in the comment section.
FAQs
What is a compliment?
A compliment is an expression of admiration, praise, or approval of a person’s actions. Usually, it is used as a courtesy to express how pleasant an action is.
Are compliments good?
Yes, complimenting someone or a group of people is good. It builds a person’s self-esteem and confidence in public. It also helps them to do more.
Is it Good to Compliment a Girl’s Look?
Yes, girls love it when you compliment their looks. Although, you’d have to be polite so it does not sound like you are harassing her.
How do you compliment someone without their appearance?
You can complement a person without their appearance. Some of the things to compliment include their behavior, thoughts, and how they talk. You can say, “I like your speech, it was nice” or, “Your composure on stage was brilliant”.
What is a non-physical compliment?
A non-physical compliment is a compliment that does not have to do with how a person appears. “Your creativity is amazing” is an example of a non-physical compliment.
How do you compliment someone on their appearance?
Be positive when complimenting someone’s appearance. Words like “You look great” or “This color suits you perfectly” are a few ways to compliment someone.
by Precious Alex-Toji | May 28, 2022 | Relationships & Weddings
There are subtle signs on how to know when someone is flirting with you, even if they do not want to show it and try so hard to hide it. Most of these signs can be noticed through their body language. But some like these women’s body language are mostly misread.
You’ve probably been there before. When you think they are flirting and it’s all just normal friends’ behavior. And then you shoot your shot that goes right down the drain.
Or when you are being given the signs but you can’t tell if they are flirting or not because you don’t seem to know when someone is flirting with you.
Oops! I have been there, so, trust me when I say I can relate.
Here are 12 signs on how to know when someone is flirting with you.
Continuous eye contact is a sign on how to know when someone is flirting with you. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, they say.
When you like something, you’d automatically admire it. The same thing goes for someone who is flirting.
Now, this doesn’t mean everyone who stares at you is trying to flirt with you. No! Someone who is flirting with you will stare with a smile.
And there’s always something about that smile that leaves you thinking. And if you’re into that person, your heart would do gbim gbim.
Don’t ask me how I know.
2. They Constantly Remind You They are Single
I mean, if I am trying to have something with you, I’d have to let you know I am available.
That the coast is clear. That you shouldn’t be deceived by my fine face.
If someone keeps talking about how single they are, that’s a pretty good sign on how to know when someone is flirting with you.
I mean, think about it. How would you let someone you are interested in know that there is no one in your life, and that you sleep alone every night with no “good morning (inserts love emoji)” text to wake up to?
3. They Behave Different Around You
One time, I was with my friends in class and you know, normal boys’ argument. We were banting on Barcelona’s loss of form at the top of our voice when one of our coursemates walked in. A girl!
Lo and behold, Umar that was blowing pidgin at the top of his lungs quickly switched to one of the most advanced use of English I have ever seen in two seconds. All because Chu walked in.
When you notice a person’s behavior changes around you, when they make you feel special around them, that’s a sign they are flirting with you.
The easiest way to know is, to notice how they act around others and compare it with how they behave around you.
4. They Always Find an Excuse to Talk to You
Someone who is trying to flirt with you would always want to talk to you, every time there’s an opportunity to.
And each opportunity is a means to have a conversation with you!
“Hi, Fatima, are you by any chance going to the market today. I could walk you through” Ah! Brother Fatai, inside Keke, you still want to escort Fatima to the market.
It is okay if people find you easy to talk to. But when someone keeps coming to you for something they can easily get elsewhere or do not really need, that should send signals to you.
5. They Act Clingy Around You
I mean, aside from eye contact, this sign right here is a very obvious one.
A good sign on how to know when someone is flirting with you is how touchy they get around you. Are they constantly trying to hold your hands?
Or putting hands over your shoulders?
Or always reaching out for hugs?
Or trying to get your legs touching each other when you sit?
These subtle signs are inevitable when someone’s flirting with you.
A warm handshake or hug from your friends would mean no harm. However, a handshake that lingers for too long…
6. Their Body Language
People are very good at reading body language until it’s the person that likes them and then they turn blind.
Aunty, I don’t like to sit at the back, it’s because of you o!
Pay attention to the body language of the person you think is flirting with you. When they sit, are they constantly tilting towards you?
Is their arm constantly moving towards you, trying to catch your attention?
The goal of every flirt is to catch your attention and though, they may try to hide it, their body language always gives them away.
7. They Casually Compliment You
Ah! This right here is the ace card of every flirt. In fact, there are some compliments you’d casually throw around that would come off as you flirting.
The good thing about compliments is they help you “stir the waters”. In other words, compliments are a great way to build conversations.
I mean, if I am trying to get your attention, I’d start with a compliment preferably one that has nothing to do with appearance.
“Not to come off as corny, I hope I’d fit you as this dress looks on you”.
8. They would want to be The First to React to Your Social Posts
Ever heard of digital flirting? It occurs when someone flirts with you over the internet. And yes, it is a predominant feature of the 21st century.
In other words, distance does not matter when it comes to being a flirt.
A person who is flirting with you would always want to be the first to like or comment on your social media posts.
I remember when I just joined Twitter and turned on post notifications for her. So anytime she posts, I’d get notified immediately. Those were pretty dark times.
It is a good thing I forgot the password to that account.
Someone reacting to your post is a friendly gesture. Someone bomb reacting to all of your posts is definitely trying to get your attention.
9. They Keep Showering You with a Lot of Attention
The reason a person will flirt with you is for your attention. Naturally, to get your attention, they’d need to give you theirs.
Do you have anyone, among your friends who seem to give you more attention than normal?
Someone flirting with you would give a lot of attention. Not even a notification from their phone or an event happening across the room can beat that attention.
They’d want to focus on you and you alone!
10. They Let You Notice Them Staring at You
A noticeable sign of how to know when someone is flirting with you is how frequently you catch them looking at you because they want you to see that.
There’s this spider-tingle you get when someone has been looking at you for a while. And when you do turn around to see who, boom! They have your attention.
And a person who is flirting with you would realize you’ve caught them and instead of shying away, a cute smile would well upon their face.
11. They Try to Know More About You
Imagine you are at a friend’s wedding and just opposite your table, you’ve noticed this guy throwing quick glances at you.
When you excuse yourself to get a drink, he gets up to grab a drink too and he goes, “Hey hello, so just to be clear, I was wondering what was shining so bright and it dawned on me, it was you in the pretty red dress”.
After exchanging contacts, you both get talking and he begins to ask personal questions, like what you do for a living, if you have a boyfriend or not, and the likes.
This is just a way to show he is interested in you and is measuring how well you fit in his lifestyle. And the same thing goes for the ladies.
12. They Seem to Be Everywhere
Flirts would strategically position themselves in places they know you would be. And this happens especially among friends.
Being everywhere you make them visible to you. In other words, it makes you notice them. And the more you notice, the easier it is to catch your attention.
Conclusion
There is a thin line between being friendly and flirting. These 12 signs can help you know when someone is flirting with you, even if they are just a “friend”.
The goal of every flirt is to get your attention. Once they have your attention, it is easier to make their moves, and depending on how tactical they are, you would find yourself in love.
Be careful though. Not every flirt is your friend.
What flirting experience have you had before? Drop some gist for me in the comment section.
FAQs
What are the signs someone is flirting with you over a text?
When someone is flirting with you over a text, they tend to reply quickly, double text, hint at hanging out, and may not want the conversation to stop.
What are the signs a guy is flirting with you?
A guy who is flirting with you will always make effort to get your attention, compliment you frequently, shoot you glances and act differently around you.
What are the signs of flirting from a woman?
A woman who is flirting with you will try to touch you casually, maintains eye contact with you, and would want to walk with you regularly.
What are some workplace flirting signs?
Someone who is flirting with you at work would always take lunch breaks with you, text you frequently outside working hours, and give you attention in group meetings.
by Ajibike Maryam Olaitan | Jan 15, 2022 | Relationships & Weddings
It is a thing of joy to finally move from singlehood to the married hood. That extraordinary happiness you derive when you find your soulmate, who would make you embark on the “for better for worse, till death do us part” journey, someone who turns “micasa (my home) to sucasa (our home)”. While growing up, we learned that marriage is the union between two individuals in love, who have decided to spend the rest of their lives together, basic mathematics; “1+1= you and I”.
We also learned the conventional things every marriage needs, like commitment, compatibility, love, trust, loyalty, time, communication, endurance, perseverance, and so on. But no one ever taught us to think beyond all these conventional needs. We usually act like there is an imaginary box governing the marriage affairs, but what if we break the box, what if we act like there was no box to even begin with?
You probably stopped to think a bit, not to worry. I have come up with a list of things containing what every marriage needs. Trust me, you can add yours too, depending on how much spice you want to add to your marriage.
10 Things Every Marriage Needs
1. Be Best of Friends With Your Spouse
You might ask how friendship falls under unconventional needs. The truth is, some people skip the friendship stage and jump right into love, without realizing that friendship helps you develop tolerance, helps you build compatibility, trust, loyalty, and so on.
2. Love Notes
What every marriage needs are that little spark you get from love notes from your spouse. Remember back in school when you were trying to woo her or back at a gathering when you were trying to get his attention, remember what you did? Why stop because you are married? It doesn’t end there. You need to constantly woo her, constantly remind him of how much you love him, by sticking tiny letters in his bag or on the mirror. You can also text, whichever works for you.
3. Take Them to That Special Place
Every marriage needs a special place, be it a restaurant, a beach, a gallery, where they first met, that one place that reminds you of why you decided to be with your partner. Take them there once in a while and have fun.
4. Be of Good Manners to Your Spouse
We shouldn’t only teach children good manners. As adults, we also need to learn good manners like, saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, picking up after ourselves, not inviting anyone into our home without asking our spouse first, continuing the act of opening the door that started while you were dating, saying ‘excuse me’, saying ‘I am sorry’ and every other good manner you can think you. This is will increase the bond between you two. Looking for what every marriage needs, try this.
5. Let the Compliments Keep Coming
Compliments are essential in a marriage as it helps a couple to communicate the admiration, gratitude, and appreciation they feel towards each other. Compliments make us feel good, whether we are receiving or giving them. It also makes us want to do more.
6. Show Respect to Each Other
Respect is an essential need in every marriage. Respect means that you acknowledge that your partner is not just a means to get something you want, that your partner has a different perspective and that is ok with you. You don’t always have to agree on things, but you know how to respect his or her opinions without making a fuss about it.
Respect also means that you put aside every societal norm and value and you treat your partner like a whole person.
7. Little Arguments
What every marriage needs are those little arguments. No relationship or marriage is complete without little arguments or quarrels. Arguments spring up to show the different opinions and perspectives that exist between a husband and a wife. Your ability to prevent little arguments from turning into huge ones will show how strong your marriage will turn out to be.
8. Prioritization of Each Other
Every couple needs to learn how to prioritize each other. This can be achieved by spending quality time together, understanding each other’s love language, being affectionate (saying I love you every day), and so on.
9. Understanding the Emotional Needs of Each Other
Finally, a husband and wife need to understand each other’s emotional needs and how unequal they can be. Emotional needs can be in form of sexual fulfilment, intimate conversations, honesty, openness, affection, and so on.
10. Every Marriage Needs Strength
I would like to add STRENGTH to the list. Call it conventional or unconventional, the point is, we never acknowledge the fact that it is important. Every marriage needs strength to make whatever you bring to the table work. And you can only acquire strength by building each other.
Conclusion
The above-mentioned points are what every marriage needs. Do not take them lightly as they help increase the bond between you and your spouse. Furthermore, I bet you will want your marriage to be a successful one. If that’s the case, you will need to focus on every point mentioned in this piece. Good luck with having a happy home.
If you find this article worthwhile, please leave a comment in the comments section. Did I miss any point? Let me know. Thank you.
You could also check: Things You Should Tell Your Daughter Intending to Get Married
by Aisha Zakari | Nov 8, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
“Communication is Key.”
We’ve all heard this saying before, it’s not only relating to relationships but also friendship, family, work, and business. Communication is key to any successful relationship. May I add even to any healthy relationship? Yes!
Communication is expressing, sharing, showing, and voicing ideas, feelings, emotions, and even signals from the eyes to body language and even hands. It is about expressing yourself, paying attention to your significant other. In addition, with communication comes listening and understanding, with both – an effective relationship.
You could be a great talker in a relationship but not a listener or be a listener and not a talker, it doesn’t work that way. You have to be both giving and receiving the same energy you want from your partner. It’s essential in a relationship to communicate. It may sound simple and easy, but remember, it’s always the little things that matter and makes a vast difference.
Yes, couples quarrel and disagree but they try to do so in a compassionate and effective way to save their relationship and do little things to reach out to each other to avoid getting things out of control. Be observant about the little things. Here are ways to improve communication in a relationship;
10 Ways to Improve Communication in Your Relationships
1. Ask Questions Like: How was your day?
This question can be answered by just anyone with “I’m fine” but coming from your partner is different, completely different.
Be extra. This question should be answered in detail, talk about how your day went, what you ate, how you got to work, how your boss looked so funny, or what you did all day.
With this question, you’re in touch and in sync with your partner. It also helps you both communicate as you both don’t run out of what to say and even if you do, tomorrow is another day to keep it going. Check in with your partner every day!
This is a way to improve communication in a relationship, invest in it.
2. Avoid Overthinking It
Did he do this? Did he do that?
Hey! Stop that! It takes two to work in a relationship. Stop overthinking about what they are doing. It’s always never worth it. You end up getting worked up over nothing. Instead, reach out to your partner and talk to about ways to improve communication in the relationship.
Assuming, expecting, and overthinking lead to disappointment and your feelings getting hurt.
3. Be a Good Listener
You could be a great talker but are you a listener?
A listener in a relationship is someone who instead of walking out of a relationship actually stays back to understand where their partner’s point of view is coming from. Listen and understand why they got upset over something you think is trivial or listen to what they have to say overcoming late to a romantic date. When you talk, listen, and understand. That is the effort, a way to improve communication in the relationship.
A partner should have this quality to make a relationship peaceful. A partner should listen, understand, and always try to forgive. Relationships can be bumpy, trust me, I have been there but I still believe it takes two to work, always. Furthermore, you have to understand and try to make amends wherever you both might be wrong.
4. Encourage Communication Between You Two
Communicating gives you an effective edge to solving problems and gives you an effective relationship and a happy attitude. Problems can be solved by communicating, understanding where you went wrong, and of course, forgiving, and letting go.
To be in a relationship is to forgive because you will be with a whole different person who has to know and understand you. They are not you and you are not them. What pisses you off might not piss them off but when you do piss them off, acknowledge it and tender an apology. It inevitably grows the relationship as you get to know and understand them in the process.
Every moment is an opportunity to connect with your significant other – always respond when they try to communicate. If your partner is trying to reach out, be there for them – this is a way to improve communication in a relationship and they are showing you they want to try with you.
Talk about future plans together, your sex life, where and how you both can improve in the relationship, and how to be each other’s support system. Make efforts to meet up with your partner’s emotional needs.
5. Avoid Caviling
Avoiding finding fault or criticizing your partner is one of the ways to improve communication in a relationship. Cavilling is criticizing, blaming or finding fault in your partner over unimportant and frivolous reasons.
“Arrrgh, you did this the last time”
“This is all your fault”
These are two different scenarios, I’ll explain.
The first talks about “the last time”. This tells you this partner held on to something he/she did the last time and a repeat of it ticked them off. This is a NO when you’re in a relationship.
You should address an issue and tell your partner how that made you feel, how it affected you. Shit happens, we all know that. Your partner could do something or you could do something wrong, immediately talk it out. Don’t hold grudges. Don’t build their wrongs up. Such piling leads to bigger misunderstandings and quarrels, and that is not healthy for a relationship.
The second focuses on “your fault”. You should not nitpick or point blames to your partner over unnecessary issues that could be addressed. Resolve issues calmly. Listen first and then respond.
Remember, you don’t always have to be right and that’s why “I’m sorry” exists. Be sincere about the apology and pick the right time to discuss the issue.
6. Talk about Planned Schedules
“Hey babe, remember the meeting/deal I told you about? It’s happening today. I’ll talk to you later tonight, say 11 pm. Do take care and I love you”
Little things matter as I said. This is a “major little thing”. Here, this partner is telling and wanting his significant other to know how stressful his day will be and what time he’ll talk to her so she doesn’t worry about him. Thoughtful, right?
It means they are communicating and also reassuring their partner that they have them in their heart and will definitely reach out when they have themselves back.
This little thing is communication all in one because they know their partner will worry about them and of course, they are saying the love word – and improving communication in the relationship.
7. Always Show Appreciation
“Thank you for letting me know this beforehand. I wish you the very best of luck, babe. Of course, you’re that luck in my life. You’ve got this. I love you”
This is another effort this lover is putting to reply to his/her significant other’s message. He/she is appreciating and expressing gratitude that their partner took out the time to let them know about their schedule for the day. They are also showing support and believing in their partner and of course, telling them they are lucky in their life to boost their confidence.
You see, relationships are about effort and energy. This message might just be words but it tells a lot about their efforts and energy. More so, the way to improve communication in a relationship is by showing appreciation and gratitude for something thoughtful your partner does. It’s quite simple, you know.
“Thank you”
8. Compliment Each Other
“You’re beautiful”
“You’re smart, my wonderful man”
“You make me feel better”
“I love your eyes, your big eyes”
“I love your butt”
Always keep telling your partner what you love and appreciate about them even in the relationship. Don’t stop when you’re in a relationship. Everyone loves reassurances in a relationship, I know I do.
Getting too comfortable with each other should be a good thing as it gives you chances to communicate effectively and express yourself however you want and of course, say naughty words.
9. Discuss Your Sex Life
“I like this better”
“I like it more when you moan directly to my ear”
“I like it when you twirl your tongue”
These are ways to improve communication in a relationship – it involves a comfortable conversation around your sex life and it is effective as it makes you both better and connected.
You should discuss your sexual fantasies with your significant other, that’s why it’s essential to be comfortable around each other. It enhances your connection, trust, excitement, and leads to better sex and a rewarding relationship.
10. Don’t Forget to Flirt!
Keep up with the flirting and the complimenting. There are a lot of nasty words and gestures that get your partner riled up, blushing, and all giddy. You need that, it is healthy.
As a lady, you could just take off your clothes in a sexual manner while your partner stares at you, get all nasty and naughty as you bite down your lip. Keep up with eye contact. It matters.
Don’t lose this, it’s exciting. You necessarily don’t need to get dirty, do it for fun. Laugh about it, enjoy it. Enjoy every flirty feeling, it helps in building the relationship.
Conclusion
The reality is really, little things matter. A partner who loves and is observant about you will know what ways to improve communication in a relationship and fix upon where they might be wrong. So, build that relationship with communication.
Furthermore, having a strong base, a strong foundation goes a long way in making communication easy for you. Relationships get bumpy along the way but trust me, it is beautiful with the right person. Communicate, Understand. Love like it’s your first!
