How to Handle and Settle Crises in Marriage Amicably
Marriage is supposed to be a happily ever after union as every couple pictured from the sunset. Unfortunately, they ignore the fact that life is an alternating period of ups and downs. Furthermore, conflict is inevitable in every relationship, especially marriage. Therefore, to avoid walking out of your marriage too soon, you should learn how to handle crisis in marriage. This enables you to see the light at the end of your marriage tunnel when things aren’t going as expected.
Crises in marriage are caused by numerous factors ranging from planning and utilizing family budget, selecting the right school for the kids, invasion of the third party, the individual preference, among others. However, this post will outline the steps on how to handle crises in marriage successfully.
Steps in Settling Crises in Marriage Amicably
Step 1: Identify the Root Cause of the Problem
Before providing solutions, comes clear identification of the root cause of the problem. This step is important because it helps you seek out direct solutions and preventive measures to avoid the recurrence of such crises in the future. Unfortunately, it requires maturity to state the main cause especially when you’re the one at fault. However, you must learn to choose the happiness of your marriage over your selfish pride.
Step 2: To Handle Crises in Marriage, Take Full Responsibility for Your Actions
Irrespective of who is at fault between you and your spouse, there is every need that you take responsibility for your actions. This is because crises occur in marriage when the two parties involved are on two opposite lanes. Hence, everyone thinks they are right. But, for you to learn how to handle a crisis in marriage, you have to be courageous enough to fix the problem instead of running away or transferring blame on your spouse.
Step 3: Engage in a Brief Retreat Period
Approaching your partner immediately after a crisis isn’t a good idea. Similarly, avoiding your partner for a long time isn’t advisable. What then is a retreat period? This is a short period of time in which you stay alone and think through what has happened before taking further decisions. The retreat period is an essential ingredient when learning how to handle crises in marriage.
Its advantages are numerous; it gives you the avenue to recognize and control your emotions – anger, regret, depression, and sadness. It also averts the transfer of negative emotions. Furthermore, it helps you think from an understandable position considering your partner’s views and emotions.
Step 4. Resolve Within You to Approach Your Spouse
Two wrongs don’t make a right. Hence, whenever there is a crisis at home, be courageous and be the first to seek peace. I understand how this stage might be difficult when you aren’t wrong. But then, a settled dispute is better than getting a divorce which has a grievous impact on the kids and between your family and your partner’s. You must realize that divorce always leads to emotional neglect and defaulted psychological coordination in kids.
In addition, avoid assumptions during a crisis. Instead, resolve within you to approach your partner, asking questions on the things you’re unsure about. This is surely one of the ways to handle crisis in marriage.
Step 5. To Amicably Settle Marriage Crises, Reconstruct Your Manner of Approach
The achievement of peace after a marriage crisis is solely influenced by your manners of approach. Meeting the above four criteria isn’t enough to handle the crises. Instead, you must carefully reconstruct how you approach your spouse. Avoid approaching your partner when they aren’t in a good mood, perhaps, tired, hungry, or angry.
Furthermore, you could as well speed up the process by creating a conducive atmosphere. For instance, surprise him/her by performing their supposed duty in the home, preparing their favourite dish, or by giving them gifts.
Step 6. Carefully Select Your Words Before Approaching Your Spouse
In addition to your manners, you need to critically select your words. Your word choice will influence the outcome of your quest for peace. Therefore, you must be able to communicate effectively. Most importantly, avoid those words that portray blame and guilt so also insulting and criticizing words. In contrast, go for words that show you really want a settlement and truly value your spouse. This kind of word enhances the love bond between you and your spouse and safeguards your marriage.
Step 7. Have a Heart-to-heart Discussion With Your Spouse
Having met the above-listed criteria, it’s time you sit and discuss what exactly happened with your partner. Afterward, delegate together the best way to avoid such crises in the future. This stage is divided into 4 units.
- Be Direct
Always go straight to the point without beating around the bush. Being direct involves expressing yourself in the best possible way, so your partner can relate to your feelings.
- Willing Listen
After you have expressed your point of view, allow your partner to express theirs while you listen. It’s disrespectful to interrupt your partner while they express their emotions.
- Be Quick to Apologise
It doesn’t matter if you were right or wrong. All that matters is saving your marriage. Therefore, how to handle crisis in marriage requires you to tender apologies to your spouse. Besides, they may have felt hurt by your actions or words during the cause of the crisis.
- Willing Forgive
Once your partner apologizes without even asking, you should be willing to forgive them and forget. Remember, this is the person you desire to spend your entire life with, so, there isn’t any need for grudges or holding onto past offenses.
In marriage, you certainly need to remain open-minded and willing to forgive even before a crisis arises. If truly you love your spouse, the application of the above steps on how to handle crises in marriage won’t be difficult to inculcate.
Perhaps, you can relate to the above steps. Do share how you were able to handle your marriage crises amicably. Thank you.
You could also read on: You Are Not a Good Parent if You Don’t Avoid These Parenting Mistakes.