by Precious Alex-Toji | May 28, 2022 | Relationships & Weddings
There are subtle signs on how to know when someone is flirting with you, even if they do not want to show it and try so hard to hide it. Most of these signs can be noticed through their body language. But some like these women’s body language are mostly misread.
You’ve probably been there before. When you think they are flirting and it’s all just normal friends’ behavior. And then you shoot your shot that goes right down the drain.
Or when you are being given the signs but you can’t tell if they are flirting or not because you don’t seem to know when someone is flirting with you.
Oops! I have been there, so, trust me when I say I can relate.
Here are 12 signs on how to know when someone is flirting with you.
Continuous eye contact is a sign on how to know when someone is flirting with you. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, they say.
When you like something, you’d automatically admire it. The same thing goes for someone who is flirting.
Now, this doesn’t mean everyone who stares at you is trying to flirt with you. No! Someone who is flirting with you will stare with a smile.
And there’s always something about that smile that leaves you thinking. And if you’re into that person, your heart would do gbim gbim.
Don’t ask me how I know.
2. They Constantly Remind You They are Single
I mean, if I am trying to have something with you, I’d have to let you know I am available.
That the coast is clear. That you shouldn’t be deceived by my fine face.
If someone keeps talking about how single they are, that’s a pretty good sign on how to know when someone is flirting with you.
I mean, think about it. How would you let someone you are interested in know that there is no one in your life, and that you sleep alone every night with no “good morning (inserts love emoji)” text to wake up to?
3. They Behave Different Around You
One time, I was with my friends in class and you know, normal boys’ argument. We were banting on Barcelona’s loss of form at the top of our voice when one of our coursemates walked in. A girl!
Lo and behold, Umar that was blowing pidgin at the top of his lungs quickly switched to one of the most advanced use of English I have ever seen in two seconds. All because Chu walked in.
When you notice a person’s behavior changes around you, when they make you feel special around them, that’s a sign they are flirting with you.
The easiest way to know is, to notice how they act around others and compare it with how they behave around you.
4. They Always Find an Excuse to Talk to You
Someone who is trying to flirt with you would always want to talk to you, every time there’s an opportunity to.
And each opportunity is a means to have a conversation with you!
“Hi, Fatima, are you by any chance going to the market today. I could walk you through” Ah! Brother Fatai, inside Keke, you still want to escort Fatima to the market.
It is okay if people find you easy to talk to. But when someone keeps coming to you for something they can easily get elsewhere or do not really need, that should send signals to you.
5. They Act Clingy Around You
I mean, aside from eye contact, this sign right here is a very obvious one.
A good sign on how to know when someone is flirting with you is how touchy they get around you. Are they constantly trying to hold your hands?
Or putting hands over your shoulders?
Or always reaching out for hugs?
Or trying to get your legs touching each other when you sit?
These subtle signs are inevitable when someone’s flirting with you.
A warm handshake or hug from your friends would mean no harm. However, a handshake that lingers for too long…
6. Their Body Language
People are very good at reading body language until it’s the person that likes them and then they turn blind.
Aunty, I don’t like to sit at the back, it’s because of you o!
Pay attention to the body language of the person you think is flirting with you. When they sit, are they constantly tilting towards you?
Is their arm constantly moving towards you, trying to catch your attention?
The goal of every flirt is to catch your attention and though, they may try to hide it, their body language always gives them away.
7. They Casually Compliment You
Ah! This right here is the ace card of every flirt. In fact, there are some compliments you’d casually throw around that would come off as you flirting.
The good thing about compliments is they help you “stir the waters”. In other words, compliments are a great way to build conversations.
I mean, if I am trying to get your attention, I’d start with a compliment preferably one that has nothing to do with appearance.
“Not to come off as corny, I hope I’d fit you as this dress looks on you”.
8. They would want to be The First to React to Your Social Posts
Ever heard of digital flirting? It occurs when someone flirts with you over the internet. And yes, it is a predominant feature of the 21st century.
In other words, distance does not matter when it comes to being a flirt.
A person who is flirting with you would always want to be the first to like or comment on your social media posts.
I remember when I just joined Twitter and turned on post notifications for her. So anytime she posts, I’d get notified immediately. Those were pretty dark times.
It is a good thing I forgot the password to that account.
Someone reacting to your post is a friendly gesture. Someone bomb reacting to all of your posts is definitely trying to get your attention.
9. They Keep Showering You with a Lot of Attention
The reason a person will flirt with you is for your attention. Naturally, to get your attention, they’d need to give you theirs.
Do you have anyone, among your friends who seem to give you more attention than normal?
Someone flirting with you would give a lot of attention. Not even a notification from their phone or an event happening across the room can beat that attention.
They’d want to focus on you and you alone!
10. They Let You Notice Them Staring at You
A noticeable sign of how to know when someone is flirting with you is how frequently you catch them looking at you because they want you to see that.
There’s this spider-tingle you get when someone has been looking at you for a while. And when you do turn around to see who, boom! They have your attention.
And a person who is flirting with you would realize you’ve caught them and instead of shying away, a cute smile would well upon their face.
11. They Try to Know More About You
Imagine you are at a friend’s wedding and just opposite your table, you’ve noticed this guy throwing quick glances at you.
When you excuse yourself to get a drink, he gets up to grab a drink too and he goes, “Hey hello, so just to be clear, I was wondering what was shining so bright and it dawned on me, it was you in the pretty red dress”.
After exchanging contacts, you both get talking and he begins to ask personal questions, like what you do for a living, if you have a boyfriend or not, and the likes.
This is just a way to show he is interested in you and is measuring how well you fit in his lifestyle. And the same thing goes for the ladies.
12. They Seem to Be Everywhere
Flirts would strategically position themselves in places they know you would be. And this happens especially among friends.
Being everywhere you make them visible to you. In other words, it makes you notice them. And the more you notice, the easier it is to catch your attention.
Conclusion
There is a thin line between being friendly and flirting. These 12 signs can help you know when someone is flirting with you, even if they are just a “friend”.
The goal of every flirt is to get your attention. Once they have your attention, it is easier to make their moves, and depending on how tactical they are, you would find yourself in love.
Be careful though. Not every flirt is your friend.
What flirting experience have you had before? Drop some gist for me in the comment section.
FAQs
What are the signs someone is flirting with you over a text?
When someone is flirting with you over a text, they tend to reply quickly, double text, hint at hanging out, and may not want the conversation to stop.
What are the signs a guy is flirting with you?
A guy who is flirting with you will always make effort to get your attention, compliment you frequently, shoot you glances and act differently around you.
What are the signs of flirting from a woman?
A woman who is flirting with you will try to touch you casually, maintains eye contact with you, and would want to walk with you regularly.
What are some workplace flirting signs?
Someone who is flirting with you at work would always take lunch breaks with you, text you frequently outside working hours, and give you attention in group meetings.
by Aisha Zakari | Feb 12, 2022 | Relationships & Weddings
How do you express love without saying “I love you”? People find it a bit hard to say those words but they show their feelings, love, and affection more by using actions and love language. A relationship should always have more twists; couples should spice things up a little bit. Why not use something different to get your partner to blush and have butterflies in their tummy?
I’ll be telling you the love languages your partner may be showing you without necessarily saying “I love you” and how to say “I love you” without saying it. These languages and words are indeed uplifting as it makes them feel special, loved, and appreciated. Let’s get right to it!!
Things You Could Do Instead of ‘Saying I Love You’
1. Shower Them with Words of Affirmation
A relationship works with affirmation and reassurances. Both parties want to be assured that they are loved and appreciated. Words like;
“I never get tired of you”
“I’m so lucky to have you, babe”
“You complete me, in and out”
are reassuring. You should tell your partner how much you love and appreciate them in this way or other ways they make you feel without saying “I love you”
2. Spend Time Together
Relationship comes with commitments every step of the way. Some partner prefers spending quality time with you rather than saying “I love you” over the phone. They take the next flight or bus to get to you just to share their feelings, thoughts with you and to be with you. This is an effort that says I love you without saying it and is most appreciated and a love language if you ask me.
3. Spoil Each Other with Gifts
Some people’s love language is to get their partner’s gifts. Now don’t get me wrong because I don’t mean expensive gifts, being materialistic, and extravagant lifestyle but by how important this gift will mean to them.
It could be a key holder for instance because you know how much your partner has been struggling with a bunch of keys. Getting them this will mean a lot as you’ve eased the struggles they go through.
“The thought counts” in this situation, don’t forget in this little way is how to say I love you without saying it.
4. Be Thoughtful
I’m a great lover. How do I know? I’ll tell you…
Being with a partner means being there for them, in their health and sickness, good or bad. I’ve found myself cooking most of the time for my partner. Like the adage goes “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” Yes, I love cooking and when it comes to him, I do it with more love, effort, energy, and warm thoughts. We all know men have a huge appetite. I know.
Why do I cook? I know he will like it, appreciate it and I’m also expressing my affection towards him and how I say I love you without saying it. Little things they say matter. Trust me, they do.
Having your partner do this or any other thing (say cutting your nails, helping with the trash, sharing the bills) for you means they are expressing how much they love and appreciate you without using words.
5. Flirt All The Time
This sparks the relationship. Some partners like to flirt even after they already have you and this is quite important. It shows they still find you just as attractive as they did from day one. If your partner does this, you have to understand their love language to appreciate them more.
6. Engage in Public Display of Affection (PDA)
Public display of affection has to be my biggest love language. A slight peck on the cheek, a kiss, or even holding hands. This sends adrenaline and has butterflies in your tummy in a blink of an eye.
They are small efforts but they hold huge and vast volumes. If your partner does this, this is a love language and how to say I love you without saying it.
Now for the words, you can use to say “I love you” without saying “I love you” in a relationship, we have:
7. “You’re my girl”
8. “I love your annoying-ass snore”
9. “I love how you make me feel”
10. “I like spending time with you, no, I love it”
11. “I love your crazy, playful self”
12. “I love how your eyes lit when you talk’
13. “I can’t imagine life without you”
14. “I feel blessed and lucky to have you”
15. “I think about you and I smile”
16. “You make my heart smile and warm”
17. “I miss you”
18. “I’m here for you”
19. “I want to grow with you”
20. “I enjoy your company”
21. “How can I live without you?”
22. “There’s no one, absolutely no one I’d rather be with”
23. “Your laugh is my favourite sound”
24. “I’m crazy about you”
25. “I lost my heart to you”
26. “You turn me on”
27. ‘I’m addicted to you”
28. “You’re always on my mind”
29. “You’re my ride or die”
30. “I love your awkward loud laugh”
31. “I love waking up next to you”
32. “I love the warmth in your eyes”
33. “I love kissing you weird to annoy you”
34. ‘I love picking what to wear for you”
35. “You’re my baby, baby”
36. “I’m all yours”
37. “I’m infatuated with you, over and over”
38. “I’m smitten”
39. “You’re my world. I’ll always run back to you”
40. “I’m fond of you, always”
Sometimes, it’s best to be funny. Use other words that tell “I love you” without saying it. Here’s the twist:
41. “Je t’aime” means “I love you” in French
42. “Te quiero” means “I want you” in Spanish
43. “Te amo” means “I love you” in Spanish
44. “I feel loved looking at you”
45. “I love your eyes”
46. “I love your smile”
47. “This reminded me of you” (This is the best of all. It shows that you remembered your partner in something that you saw or did and it is sweet to get such messages every now and then.)
48, “You’re my favorite”
49. ‘You’re the one”
50. “You’re worth it”
51. “My heart lit up thinking about you”
52. “You complete me”
53. “You’re beautiful”
54. “You are my superman/superwoman”
55. “You make me want to achieve more”
56. “I’m proud of who you’re becoming”
Conclusion
Express your love, feelings, and affections by communicating in words and non-verbal ways. Saying “I love you” is essential in a relationship but saying it at the end of every phone call or text might become boring as it is already expected of you to say it as you always do.
Some people aren’t always moved by those words because they have a love language. There are tons of ways of expressing how you feel and how to say I love you without saying it to your partner which I’ve given you some.
Now go ahead, use them and spice up that relationship! Don’t forget to drop a comment in the comments section below. Thank you.
by Aisha Zakari | Nov 8, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
“Communication is Key.”
We’ve all heard this saying before, it’s not only relating to relationships but also friendship, family, work, and business. Communication is key to any successful relationship. May I add even to any healthy relationship? Yes!
Communication is expressing, sharing, showing, and voicing ideas, feelings, emotions, and even signals from the eyes to body language and even hands. It is about expressing yourself, paying attention to your significant other. In addition, with communication comes listening and understanding, with both – an effective relationship.
You could be a great talker in a relationship but not a listener or be a listener and not a talker, it doesn’t work that way. You have to be both giving and receiving the same energy you want from your partner. It’s essential in a relationship to communicate. It may sound simple and easy, but remember, it’s always the little things that matter and makes a vast difference.
Yes, couples quarrel and disagree but they try to do so in a compassionate and effective way to save their relationship and do little things to reach out to each other to avoid getting things out of control. Be observant about the little things. Here are ways to improve communication in a relationship;
10 Ways to Improve Communication in Your Relationships
1. Ask Questions Like: How was your day?
This question can be answered by just anyone with “I’m fine” but coming from your partner is different, completely different.
Be extra. This question should be answered in detail, talk about how your day went, what you ate, how you got to work, how your boss looked so funny, or what you did all day.
With this question, you’re in touch and in sync with your partner. It also helps you both communicate as you both don’t run out of what to say and even if you do, tomorrow is another day to keep it going. Check in with your partner every day!
This is a way to improve communication in a relationship, invest in it.
2. Avoid Overthinking It
Did he do this? Did he do that?
Hey! Stop that! It takes two to work in a relationship. Stop overthinking about what they are doing. It’s always never worth it. You end up getting worked up over nothing. Instead, reach out to your partner and talk to about ways to improve communication in the relationship.
Assuming, expecting, and overthinking lead to disappointment and your feelings getting hurt.
3. Be a Good Listener
You could be a great talker but are you a listener?
A listener in a relationship is someone who instead of walking out of a relationship actually stays back to understand where their partner’s point of view is coming from. Listen and understand why they got upset over something you think is trivial or listen to what they have to say overcoming late to a romantic date. When you talk, listen, and understand. That is the effort, a way to improve communication in the relationship.
A partner should have this quality to make a relationship peaceful. A partner should listen, understand, and always try to forgive. Relationships can be bumpy, trust me, I have been there but I still believe it takes two to work, always. Furthermore, you have to understand and try to make amends wherever you both might be wrong.
4. Encourage Communication Between You Two
Communicating gives you an effective edge to solving problems and gives you an effective relationship and a happy attitude. Problems can be solved by communicating, understanding where you went wrong, and of course, forgiving, and letting go.
To be in a relationship is to forgive because you will be with a whole different person who has to know and understand you. They are not you and you are not them. What pisses you off might not piss them off but when you do piss them off, acknowledge it and tender an apology. It inevitably grows the relationship as you get to know and understand them in the process.
Every moment is an opportunity to connect with your significant other – always respond when they try to communicate. If your partner is trying to reach out, be there for them – this is a way to improve communication in a relationship and they are showing you they want to try with you.
Talk about future plans together, your sex life, where and how you both can improve in the relationship, and how to be each other’s support system. Make efforts to meet up with your partner’s emotional needs.
5. Avoid Caviling
Avoiding finding fault or criticizing your partner is one of the ways to improve communication in a relationship. Cavilling is criticizing, blaming or finding fault in your partner over unimportant and frivolous reasons.
“Arrrgh, you did this the last time”
“This is all your fault”
These are two different scenarios, I’ll explain.
The first talks about “the last time”. This tells you this partner held on to something he/she did the last time and a repeat of it ticked them off. This is a NO when you’re in a relationship.
You should address an issue and tell your partner how that made you feel, how it affected you. Shit happens, we all know that. Your partner could do something or you could do something wrong, immediately talk it out. Don’t hold grudges. Don’t build their wrongs up. Such piling leads to bigger misunderstandings and quarrels, and that is not healthy for a relationship.
The second focuses on “your fault”. You should not nitpick or point blames to your partner over unnecessary issues that could be addressed. Resolve issues calmly. Listen first and then respond.
Remember, you don’t always have to be right and that’s why “I’m sorry” exists. Be sincere about the apology and pick the right time to discuss the issue.
6. Talk about Planned Schedules
“Hey babe, remember the meeting/deal I told you about? It’s happening today. I’ll talk to you later tonight, say 11 pm. Do take care and I love you”
Little things matter as I said. This is a “major little thing”. Here, this partner is telling and wanting his significant other to know how stressful his day will be and what time he’ll talk to her so she doesn’t worry about him. Thoughtful, right?
It means they are communicating and also reassuring their partner that they have them in their heart and will definitely reach out when they have themselves back.
This little thing is communication all in one because they know their partner will worry about them and of course, they are saying the love word – and improving communication in the relationship.
7. Always Show Appreciation
“Thank you for letting me know this beforehand. I wish you the very best of luck, babe. Of course, you’re that luck in my life. You’ve got this. I love you”
This is another effort this lover is putting to reply to his/her significant other’s message. He/she is appreciating and expressing gratitude that their partner took out the time to let them know about their schedule for the day. They are also showing support and believing in their partner and of course, telling them they are lucky in their life to boost their confidence.
You see, relationships are about effort and energy. This message might just be words but it tells a lot about their efforts and energy. More so, the way to improve communication in a relationship is by showing appreciation and gratitude for something thoughtful your partner does. It’s quite simple, you know.
“Thank you”
8. Compliment Each Other
“You’re beautiful”
“You’re smart, my wonderful man”
“You make me feel better”
“I love your eyes, your big eyes”
“I love your butt”
Always keep telling your partner what you love and appreciate about them even in the relationship. Don’t stop when you’re in a relationship. Everyone loves reassurances in a relationship, I know I do.
Getting too comfortable with each other should be a good thing as it gives you chances to communicate effectively and express yourself however you want and of course, say naughty words.
9. Discuss Your Sex Life
“I like this better”
“I like it more when you moan directly to my ear”
“I like it when you twirl your tongue”
These are ways to improve communication in a relationship – it involves a comfortable conversation around your sex life and it is effective as it makes you both better and connected.
You should discuss your sexual fantasies with your significant other, that’s why it’s essential to be comfortable around each other. It enhances your connection, trust, excitement, and leads to better sex and a rewarding relationship.
10. Don’t Forget to Flirt!
Keep up with the flirting and the complimenting. There are a lot of nasty words and gestures that get your partner riled up, blushing, and all giddy. You need that, it is healthy.
As a lady, you could just take off your clothes in a sexual manner while your partner stares at you, get all nasty and naughty as you bite down your lip. Keep up with eye contact. It matters.
Don’t lose this, it’s exciting. You necessarily don’t need to get dirty, do it for fun. Laugh about it, enjoy it. Enjoy every flirty feeling, it helps in building the relationship.
Conclusion
The reality is really, little things matter. A partner who loves and is observant about you will know what ways to improve communication in a relationship and fix upon where they might be wrong. So, build that relationship with communication.
Furthermore, having a strong base, a strong foundation goes a long way in making communication easy for you. Relationships get bumpy along the way but trust me, it is beautiful with the right person. Communicate, Understand. Love like it’s your first!
