Signs You Are Not Compatible With Your Partner

Signs You Are Not Compatible With Your Partner

So many of us spend a good chunk of our lives looking for “the one”, but what happens when we find someone? How do we know if they are the person who is right to spend the rest of our lives with? Or even if starting a relationship with them is the right choice? This article seeks to give you signs you are not compatible with your partner.

While compatibility is no guarantee of longevity, studies show that it is directly related to the quality and satisfaction of our relationships. Simply put, the more compatible you are with your partner, the happier you are likely to be with them. 

Everyone has their ideas about what qualities and traits their dream partner should have, but rarely do we ever find someone who’s a perfect match. Instead, we learn to compromise where we can and grow to love people despite their flaws and imperfections. However, it can be hard to differentiate normal differences from incompatibility. 

So, if you are wondering whether or not you and your partner are incompatible, worry no more. Here are some tips:

7 Signs That Show You Are Not Compatible With Your Partner

1) You Are Not Compatible When You Don’t Understand Each Other

Right from the get-go, this can tell you a great deal about how good of a match you and your partner make. If you have a hard time understanding how they are feeling, what they are thinking, or what they need, then they might not be the one for you and vice-versa.

It is better to be with someone you can be in sync with – someone who picks up and understands your nonverbal cues and discerns the tone of your voice, and ‘gets’ what you try to tell them. Otherwise, miscommunication and misunderstanding can pile up in your relationship.

2. When You Two Are Polar (Different)

While it’s technically true that opposites do attract, every solid healthy couple should share at least a few similarities with their partner. This doesn’t mean having to like all the same music or movies that they do or even sharing the same hobbies as them. It can even be refreshing to be in a relationship with someone radically different from yourself.

Sadly, though the excitement won’t last forever if the similarities are too scarce or non-existent. Once the “new and shiny effect” wears off, you are both left with someone who doesn’t share the same humour, interest, value, ideals, or principles, making it difficult to relate to one another in any meaningful way. This is one of the signs you are not compatible with your partner.

3. When You Try to Change Each Other and Not Grow and Learn Together

The hallmark of a strong and healthy relationship is having a partner who gives you the drive and motivation to change for the better. That’s the whole point. It must be something you want for yourself, your idea, not theirs alone. Despite your partner expressing irritation or dissatisfaction with you, it is generally ineffective and not sustainable, if you are forcing change on yourself solely because they want it and you don’t. You have to want it for yourself and this goes for many things, whether it’s the way you speak, dress, or who you hang out with; only you have the right to decide who you want to be.

If you don’t feel comfortable showing your true colours to your significant other, even in a private setting, this is a definite red flag and a sign of incompatibility.

4. When You Are Constantly Having Arguments

It’s perfectly normal and healthy to disagree with your partner about something from time to time, especially if it’s over something important to the two of you. We didn’t choose this person so we can be with a clone of ourselves. Disagreements become a problem, however when the arguing is constant and over even the tiniest of things. Even unhealthier if the fighting is dirty- shouting, name-calling, humiliating each other, holding grudges, and emotional blackmail.

Being in a relationship with a partner who tends to bring out mostly the ugliest side of you is never good.

5. You Are Not Compatible When You Don’t Have Different Opinions on Everything

It’s all about moderation. While constant fighting is not ideal, it’s also not good for a couple to never disagree about anything. You need to be honest and communicate openly with one another about how you feel even if it is not in agreement with the other person. Constantly pretending everything is “ok” or “blind agreements” to the wants of the other person, does not make the relationship stronger and may result in catastrophe and blow up later. Conflict can be a positive one-building event if it can be given and taken constructively, which in turn, can lead to personal group and a deeper mutual understanding. This is a considerable sign that you’re not compatible with your partner.

This is surely one of the signs you are not compatible with your partner.

6. Your Socializing Is Isolated From Everyone Else

Do you find that when you and your partner go out, it is nearly always only with each other; no friends, no parties, or group hang out? Do you never spend time with their friends? Have you ever met their friends? Is their family still a group of mystery people you never met? You’ve never been introduced to even though you have been together for a while? If you answered yes to any of these, this could be a potential problem. You must spend time with your partner’s loved ones and get to know them better. Couples who make the effort to be close with other important people in their partner’s lives tend to have longer and happier relationships.

7. You Are Not Attracted to Them Is a Sign That You’re Not Compatible With Your Partner 

Lastly and most importantly, one of the signs you are not compatible with your partner is when you are not attracted to them. Even if everything seems okay on paper if you don’t have any romance or chemistry, it’s simply not going to work. Without even an inkling of these factors, you might have a best friend but not necessarily a significant other. The result is that you will naturally be drawn to people you have that ‘more than friend’ attraction to. If you have not even an ounce of attraction, this is a definite sign that you and your partner are not compatible.

Conclusion

In the end, there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. Everyone has doubts or disagreements at times with the person they love. A strong healthy relationship takes ongoing effort, dedication, and also time for it to grow. 

What is important is finding that someone who to you is worth that effort, dedication, and time. First impressions and initial choices do not seal your fate. A lot of people stay in incompatible relationships because they’ve been conditioned to believe breaking up with someone is wrong, or just insensitive, but the reality is, relationships don’t work out and that’s okay. It’s now up to you to know and recognize compatibility versus incompatibility. It will save you much heartbreak and possibly avoid more serious scarring. 

Don’t ignore the red flags and get stuck in an entanglement.  So take your time to evaluate your relationship with these key points in mind and honestly ask yourself “Is my partner right for me?” Tell me in the comment section, if you’ve noticed any of these signs in your relationship.

You could also read on: If You Notice These Signs, You Are Not Compatible with Your Partner.

12 Things That Could Ruin Your Relationship (Beware of No. 9)

12 Things That Could Ruin Your Relationship (Beware of No. 9)

When it comes to relationships, stages are met – talking, friendship, getting to know each other, and finally dating. Along the stages, there are things that could ruin your relationship with this other person. In this post, we’ll run you through these things. Let’s get right to it.

Things That Could Ruin Your Relationship

1. Having Disrespect towards Each Other

A common reason why most relationships go sour is by being disrespectful towards your partner. Remember, the basis of any relationship is ‘respect’ and to hold your partner in high esteem.

Being disrespectful to them can do more harm than good. This act inevitably leads to a bridge in a relationship you’ve put in time and effort into. Of course, respect is earned and not demanded the same way it is reciprocal. Respect should be given to your partner and in the same way, you get your respect from them.

2. Bridge in Communication

Before I proceed, take the time to read on this:

Not communicating with your partner is a thing that could ruin your relationship.

Communication is key in everything, remember? Communication is not only key in a relationship but also at work, friendship, and family. It is vital to communicate effectively with your other half. This makes the relationship work and of course not only breaks that bridge but also strengthens the foundation of the relationship.

3. Holding Grudges

“Let bygones be bygones,” they say. I’ve always heard this one since my secondary school days whenever my colleagues or are is one way or another involved in a quarrel. This saying is also applicable in relationships too and life in general.

No one is perfect, yes? We all make mistakes and as such, we should learn the habit of letting things go and forgiving too.

When you hold grudges with your partner, you’re not only ruining it but also creating a bridge between you two. This also takes away the peace of mind in your heart.

4. Not Spending Quality Time for Your Partner

Relationships come with giving time, undivided attention, devotion, effective communication, commitment, and of course many others. But the first two: time and undivided attention are the main factors that keep a relationship from going sour.

“The little things matter” we always say. The little things you do, the little time you spend with your other half is vital for the relationship to keep going forward. Just merely taking some minutes off work to call your other or taking the next flight to surprise them is always worth it. This puts a smile in their heart and also reassures them how much you feel and think about them.

This is surely one of the things that could ruin your relationship.

5. Saying Rude Remarks or Sentences to Your Partner

There are always going to be ups and downs in relationships. No relationship is perfect, it gets bumpy but there are things one needs to do to keep them going forward. If these things are not done and taken care of, it leads to bigger problems and arguments.

When arguments come, one tends to say things they actually don’t mean. But when words are said, they can’t be taken back, okay?

If you have this issue in your relationship, treat it with caution and have self-tolerance towards uttering some hurtful words to your partner, most especially during arguments.

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6. Making Attempts to Change Your Other Half

Relationships are about complete acceptance of flaws and all, maybe more. If you can’t seem to accept each other for who you are, it’s best you accept you aren’t many for each other and move on to the next phase. I mean, thank you, next? Am I right?

“Yes, people change” but this happens on their accord and because they want to out of their own free will. This change shouldn’t be forced onto them with insults, recommendations, and suggestions.

7. Taking Your Partner for Granted

“We’ve been together for years, where can he go to? Who will understand him as I do?”

Sometimes, people begin to feel entitled towards their partner due to the years put into the relationship, the attachment, and the commitment. Inevitably, without even knowing, we begin taking our partners for granted. We begin to feel no one will love and understand them as we do and this is disheartening.

Sometimes, we measure relationships by the years of togetherness and tolerance of some characters and the bumpy rides. When you begin to think this way, you tend to not see the importance, qualities, and personalities you fell in love with at first and this is definitely a thing that could ruin your relationship.

For an effective relationship, you need to keep showing appreciation towards each other and not get tired of each other.

8. Neglecting Sacrifices, Compromises, and Commitments

It takes two to tango, right? A relationship is like a tango, it takes two to make it work. A relationship can never work if the other person is selfish and not ready to sacrifice, commit, and compromise to make the other half happy.

A successful relationship revolves around sacrifice, commitment, and compromise. A partner should always consider the needs and wants of his other half and place them ahead in other to make them happy, cared for, and loved.

9. Cheating on Your Partner

Cheating, infidelity – whatever you call it is a thing to never do to your significant other for any reason at all because it could ruin your relationship. A relationship where you don’t pledge loyalty to your partner is baseless and useless. If you’re having problems with your partner, the most logical thing to do is talk and fix the problem, not finding solace in the arms of another man or woman.

Remember I said relationships get bumpy but that is not reason enough to cheat on your partner, no one can tolerate that.

Cheating leads to bigger problems and as such, it is really important to stay loyal to your partner and with your partner. Do you get what I’m saying? Body, heart, mind, and soul. Complete pledging of loyalty towards them.

10. Not Saying or Showing How Much You Love Your Partner

Different strokes for different folks, yeah? I’m talking about body language here.

People are into words of assurances, others gifts, surprises, etc. Which is your partner’s?

Saying I love you to your partner in any way you can not only send butterflies to their stomach but also strengthen your bond. Most often, people stop showing how much they love their partner once they are in the relationship and this is wrong in every language.

Remind your partner and let them know that you still love them even when you already have them. You can even tell them how you love them, without saying it.

11. Blaming Your Partner

Nobody is perfect, remember everyone is with flaws. As this is true, it’s not reason enough to blame your partner for any tragedy that happens in your relationship. Shit happens, tender an apology, and accept their apology. Forgive and forget it and move on from it.

Remember number 3? Don’t hold grudges. We know sometimes, it tends to be very hard to find ways to get someone to forgive you, but it’s still worth giving it your all.

12. Not Opening Up To Your Significant Other

Avoiding difficult conversations or not opening up to your partner about awkward situations or a problem you’re going through will create problems in your relationship. This act of not opening up will lead to lingering issues and make every communication a mess as you will keep having a hard time getting through to them.

Remember the start of the relationship where you couldn’t go a day without sharing what you ate or what you did? Those hours of good talk and no sleep? Keep that same energy going.

Oops I’ve said too much.

Conclusion

In general, relationships get better when both parties are willing to avoid things that could ruin the relationship. There is always hope, especially when you both recognize the problem and decide on ways to fix and make the relationship grow again.

You can always pick up a relationship where it was left off, only if you’re willing to. It takes two to tango, remember? I must have missed one or two, feel free to let me know in the comment section. Thank you.

12 Factors to Consider When Choosing a Life Partner

12 Factors to Consider When Choosing a Life Partner

Choosing a life partner is not as easy as going to the market to get foodstuffs. It is as hard as it gets. You need to ask yourself if you are ready to look beyond his or her flaws if you are ready to not just think about yourself if you are ready to spend the rest of your life with him or her, when things are smooth or not. Selecting a partner for life is one of the most critical decisions you have to make but it can be easy by following the right steps. Below is a list of factors to consider when choosing a life partner:

12 Factors to Consider When Choosing a Life Partner

1. Family Background

Before deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone, it is imperative to know the persons’ family background and traditions that might exist, the persons’ family language, system, and behaviour. It is also important to know the person’s relationship with his or her family members as knowing this will enable you to know how the person will relate with your family members.

2. Know If They Have Any Health Issue(s)

Before choosing a life partner, you need to know the health background of the person in order to know the health issues the person might have. You need to know the persons’ genotype, blood group, and other health-related issues. This would help you decide whether to continue or let go.

3. Make Sure They Are Hardworking

Nobody wants a lazy partner. We all want someone who is hardworking in all aspects; females should be able to take care of the house and also the children, while the men should be strong enough to be able to fend for the family needs. Therefore, it is important to know if the person is lazy or hardworking.

4. Choose Someone You Can Rely On

You need to choose someone who you can rely on at all times. Someone you can trust to catch you when you fall.

5. They Should Have the Ability to Forgive

Another factor to consider when choosing a life partner is their ability to forgive. Everyone makes mistakes and the ability to look past the mistakes makes your relationship strong. No relationship is without quarrels, because we were not all brought up the same way, which makes us have different opinions. Choosing a partner who knows how to say “I forgive you” and mean it is very important.

Related: How to Get Someone to Forgive You

6. They Should Be of Good Character

In choosing a partner, their character is one of the most important factors to look into. This is because their character is what defines a person. It is the replica or the mirror that reflects the persons’ worth. You automatically know how a person would turn out in the next 10 years, by the character they portray.

7. Check Out Their Level of Maturity

Age is not an indication of maturity. Actually, it is nothing but a number like it is often said. Someone who is mature physically, emotionally, and intellectually must know how to handle issues without bringing a third party into the relationship.

8. Ascertain Whether They Have A Sense of Humour

You need to choose a partner who knows how to make you laugh after a very annoying day at work, someone who knows how to change your sour mood, by bringing up funny conversations.

9. Sexual Attraction

In my own opinion, choosing a partner who doesn’t believe that sex in a marriage is important, means that there would be an unfulfilled desire in the marriage. You must choose a partner you are sexually attracted to and also someone who is sexually attracted to you. Trust me, there must be an absolute desire to satisfy each others’ sexual needs in order not to feel cheated.

10. Choose Someone Who Likes You

Love is not the only factor in a relationship; friendship is also a factor you need to consider. When you are at that point in your life when you have to choose a partner, you need to choose someone who likes you for the imperfect being you are. You also need to choose someone you like and can tolerate.

11. There Should Be Mutual Respect Between You Two

You obviously do not want to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t acknowledge and respect you. You need to choose a partner who would respect you at all times and also acknowledge your decisions, goals, and dreams.

12. God Fearing

One of the most important factors to consider when choosing a life partner is, choosing someone who loves God. This is important because only then can the person love you too.

Conclusion

I am sure that at some point we have all said to ourselves “she is the one or he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with”, but then, we get disappointed along the road. Disappointments spring up because we don’t try to get to know the person we want to be with, we just fall in love and think that is enough to sustain a relationship. Finding that one person, choosing a life partner is a full-time job, it is not a school course you pick and just drop because it is hard. No, it is a decision you make to stay put no matter how hard it gets, a ‘together for worse, for richer or poorer, till death do you part’ decision, and trust me, you don’t want to be wrong.

The list is unending, you don’t just make use of the above factors, which is why I need you to add your factors to consider when choosing a life partner in the comment section below. Thank you.

These Are Ways to Get Someone to Forgive You Easily

These Are Ways to Get Someone to Forgive You Easily

Have you hurt someone and you’ve done things to get them to forgive you but they haven’t? Worry no more as I’m here for you. There are different practical ways on how to get someone to forgive you when you hurt or upset them.

We are all humans and so, we are bound to make mistakes, and there can’t be forgiveness without mistakes occurring first. Sometimes, they may be intentional because of a sudden outburst of anger from you on someone. Notwithstanding, just for you, I have compiled a list of things to do or say to get them to forgive you without even knowing they have.

Ways to Get Someone to Forgive You

1. Acknowledge You Have Hurt Them

There won’t be a need for anyone to forgive you if you haven’t offended them in the first place. It is necessary to know the reason why they are hurt. Figure that out and try to see you never repeat such.

By just acknowledging to them that you have made them unhappy will give you a chance of having them forgive you. This is one of the important ways to get someone to forgive you. More so, don’t feel like a boss or let your ego get the best of you. As difficult as it may seem, acknowledge your mistakes and own up to them.

Don’t let them approach you about it first; the reverse should be the case.

2. Show Them You Regret Your Actions

Whatever it is that you may have done to them – be it a mistake or an intentional act that made them miserable, show them that you regret your actions. This is one of the surest ways to get them to forgive your shortcomings.

For instance, you make gest of him/her in public, they got angry and left. Stop immediately you notice their mood has switched from being normal to being upset. Follow them to wherever they are going to and show remorse towards what you’ve done.

Don’t wait for a later date; you’ll be screwing things up the more.

3. Show Them Lots of Care

This is where you up your game. The heart by nature usually likes the person who cares about it and repels those that don’t. Increase the love and care you have for them. Get them to notice your effort by making it very obvious. Begin to watch that football match of his favourite team together, begin to compliment her beauty more often than usual, appreciate every little effort they make from making up, keeping the house tidy, fending for the family, and so on.

Go out of your way to do things to please them. It’s only a matter of time before you are forgiven. Trust me.

4. How to Get Someone to Forgive You? Send Them Gifts

Gifts have a special way of making the recipient feel loved and cared for. Time occasions that are very important to them, prepare gifts you know they like and attend the occasion if possible.

In addition, celebrate each and every success in their lives with gifts from you – like promotion in the workplace, securing an appointment, getting selected to attend a programme they’ve always wanted their whole life.

Are you still thinking ‘I’m forgiven?’ You are forgiven.

Looking for a gift to give them, check: 44 Gift Ideas for Him and Her

5. Tell Them You Are Sorry

If they fail to understand how sorry you are for your actions or gestures, choose the right time, confront them and just tell them you are sorry, straight up, and show all sincerity about it. Drop that ego, it’s not going to help you if you really need to be forgiven.

Furthermore, ‘sorry’ has an amazing way of solving a very huge disagreement. If you’re that kind of person whom the ‘sorry’ seems to be heavy in your mouth, try it and feel its power.

6. Explain Honestly the Reason for Your Action

Sometimes, misunderstandings could cause a fight; neither you nor they are at fault.

Let’s take, for instance, you cooked a meal for your husband – who doesn’t like spicy meals, and prepared a table for him. During the preparation of the meal, you searched for pepper in the presence of your daughter who was in the kitchen with you but couldn’t find it. You asked your daughter to go get some for you in the shop in front of your house. You later found it and added it to the soup. Unknown to your daughter, she added more on her return.

Your husband arrives, took the meal, and starting complaining, shouting at the top of his voice. Don’t react negatively, explain to him what happened and I bet you, he will forgive you.

Let’s take another instance where your girlfriend is expecting an ASAP reply to a message she sent you; you replied to her immediately but unfortunately, the network didn’t deliver it. She got angry and refused to call you. You later realized why she was upset with you. Don’t be mad, understand the situation from her own side. What you need to do is explain to her what had happened and show her proof of your innocence. They will forgive you even though you did nothing wrong.

7. Try As Much As Possible Never to Repeat the Same Mistake Again

Mistakes are actions or statements we make that are incorrect or unintentional. It’s allowed for one to make mistakes if they are minimal, but when they are no longer mistakes when they become habitual.

You need to know what you have done and try not to repeat it to the best of your ability. Nobody will take you seriously when you keep repeating the same mistake over and over again.

8. Prepare a Delicious Nice Meal

How to get someone to forgive you? Try cooking a delicious meal for them.

Like the saying goes “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”. That’s true, though, one of the ways. You already know that you have hurt him. Now all you need to do is tie that apron, get your equipment ready and prepare his favourite meal. While he’s eating, sit close to him – maybe on his lap, be caressing his head and touching him here and there while apologizing for your wrongdoing with a melodious voice. It’s as easy as that.

It may even shock you when he asks “Honey, what wrong did you do?”

It even works better when a guy does that to his partner. This is one of the reasons why all men should learn to cook.

There you have it, one of the ways to get someone to forgive you. Better learn how to be a better cook today.

9. Begin to Do Things They Have Always Wanted You To

Is there that something they have always wanted you to do and you are been reluctant about doing it – say, they prefer you putting on English wears to native attires, they want you to like something they want? This is the right time to do it or like it. Don’t hesitate, just do it. This will send them a message that you are sorry and that you want to be forgiven. If they still care about you, they will consider that.

Don’t stop there, continue to do those other things that you do for them too, you can improve on them for better results.

10. Ask Their Friends or Family to Extend Your Apology

They should have a friend or family member that they have so much respect for. Meet them; table your issue, not in a way of exposing their secrets. Ask them to extend your apology to him/her. You never can tell, it may turn out favourable.

11. How to Get Someone to Forgive You? Sex!

One of the ultimate measures or ways married couples tend to make up for wrongdoing between themselves is sex. There is a high proclivity of forgiveness through sex.

According to a study by Eric W. Dolan quoted from research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, The researchers found higher levels of conflict resolution quality were associated with higher levels of sexual satisfaction.

In other words, couples who reported that they commonly could “come to an understanding” after a conflict tended to also agree with statements such as “Our sexual relationship is an important source of strength and connection in our relationship” Husbands who were more forgiving also tended to have higher levels of sexual satisfaction, as did husbands and wives who were less anxiously and avoidantly attached.

But it’s not advisable to always settle disputes in this manner. It will be better to find other ways of making things better between you two while still standing.

Conclusion

How to get someone to forgive you is easy if you know your ways. There are so many ways but I have compiled a list of some of them for you. Each and every way, assures a promising result. Give it a try and you will be glad you did.

Don’t forget to share with me in the comments section below how you successfully got someone to forgive you for wrongdoing.

If you find this article worthwhile, you could also read on: 13 Proven Ways to Make Someone Love You and 15 Ways You Can Tell They Like You.