by Musa Bala | Apr 23, 2022 | Health & Wellness
Emotional Abuse, unlike physical abuse, can be complicated to identify. While physical abuse often comes with obvious signs, emotional abuse isn’t that obvious especially when you are the victim as you must be in some kind of relationship with the abuser. Emotional abuse can lead to serious mental health conditions such as low self-esteem and confidence and depression. This is why understanding how to recognize emotional abuse could help you overcome this negative behavior on your mental health.
Emotional Abuse is described as the use of emotions to criticize, embarrass, shame, and/or blame others as a way to manipulate and control them.
While emotional abuse is prevalent in married and dating relationships, it can also exist in common relationships amongst family members, friends, and co-workers. A relationship is said to be emotionally abusive when there is consistent emotional bullying and the use of abusive words which derail the victim’s self-esteem and mental health, in extension.
Hardly identified, emotional abuse is a form of domestic violence that goes undetected and should be given much more consideration as a form of abuse. It is degrading, humiliating, and terrifying and leads to a long-lasting feeling of helplessness and worthlessness completely messing with the victim’s mental health.
How to Recognize Emotional Abuse
As stated earlier that emotional abuse can happen in any kind of relationship, it can also happen across all ages, people of any age or gender can abuse or be abused. Nonetheless, it is not your fault and you do not deserve to experience it.
Some behaviors you experience every day can be normal in a relationship but when it happens consistently and with intensity, they can be tools for emotional abuse.
1. They Always Want to Control You
Emotional Abusers use abusive behaviors and sometimes shame in an attempt to control. When you have someone who is overly interested in your social life, trying to limit who you engage with, they want you to do what they want without regard for your desires, then you might just have an emotional abuser.
They mostly try to control you by making threats, monitoring your whereabouts, and depriving you of making your own choices either overtly or covertly.
2. They Isolate You
In their effort to manipulate their victims’ lives easily, emotional abusers often isolate their victims. Isolation keeps the victim dependent on the abuser and prevents them from getting support from their loved ones that could help them recognize emotional abuse. Emotional abusers may isolate you by limiting your access to people who would support you such as family and friends. Also, they often tell you that they are the only ones who care about or can put up with you.
Signs that someone is isolating you could be that they become angry when you contact a loved one, they restrict your social life and they insist on going everywhere with you.
3. They Yell At You
Yelling at someone might seem normal in certain situations but when it becomes often and with great intensity, it can be the early signs of an emotionally abusive relationship. Emotional abusers use yelling as a tactic to create or display an unequal power dynamic, where the person whose voice is essentially louder and more aggressive has more power and can instill fear in the other. The abusers use this fear to control their victims.
When your partner, parent, or boss often yells at you as a way to get you to do something they want, then there’s a great chance you are a victim of emotional abuse.
4. You Are Always In the Defensive
Another way to recognize emotional abuse is that the abusers always feel superior to their victims and try to show the victims that they can’t do anything without them. They seem to always want to find faults in any action or decision the victims make without them in the bid to keep their victims dependent on them, so they question everything the victims do.
As a result of this excessive questioning, you always feel the need to defend yourself and everything you do.
5. They Gaslight You
Another common tactic emotional abusers use is gaslighting. Emotional abusers deny that events their victims talk about have happened to make their victims doubt themselves, and their judgments and question their perception of reality. This helps the abuser maintain control because their word becomes more realistic than the victim’s own beliefs, memory, or experience.
An emotional abuser might use some of these phrases to gaslight you; “I never said that”, “You’re crazy for thinking that” and “You’re making a bid deal out of nothing”.
6. They Use Insulting Language at You
To attack your self-esteem and worth, self-confidence, and value as a person, emotional abusers use insults and name-calling to degrade you. They might say things to you like “I’m the only one that can love you”, “You’re too stupid to earn a degree” and “you’ll never get a job”.
When such phrases are repeatedly said to the victims they might start to believe them, and this can affect the victim’s mental health. This tactic wears down the victim’s self-esteem and value.
7. They Are Extreme Jealousy
In addition, extreme jealousy is another way to recognize an emotional abuse. While jealousy is common in relationships, it is important to know that they are positive and negative levels. When jealousy leads to intense anger or controlling behaviors, it can be a warning sign of emotional abuse.
Such extreme jealousy stems from the abuser not feeling like they have power or control over you and your decisions. Some controlling behaviors the abuser may use are; monitoring your calls, texts, or emails, constantly accusing you of cheating, excessively calling you when you are not together, and controlling your appearance, including what you wear.
What To Do When Someone Is Abusing You Emotionally
The most important step in dealing with emotional abuse is identifying and acknowledging the abuse. By being honest to yourself about what you are experiencing you can begin to take back control of your life. Below are practicable steps to reclaim control of your life.
1. Prioritize Yourself
Always put yourself first when it comes to your physical and mental health. Take care of yourself, and stop worrying about pleasing the person abusing you. Be sure to practice self-care by exercising, eating, and resting appropriately. It is also important that you realize you are not to blame for the decisions and behavior of the abuser.
2. Establish Boundaries
Establish achievable boundaries by firmly letting the abuser know that you can’t tolerate their yelling, name-calling, insults, and so on. Also, let them know the consequence if they should choose to re-engage in their abusive behaviors. For example, anytime they call you names, you’ll leave the conversation.
3. Understand You Can’t Fix Them
Remind yourself that the abuser decided to behave in an abusive way and you are not to blame for their decisions. Also, understand that you cannot control their actions but you can control your response.
4. Build a Support Network
Sharing your experience with someone can be difficult but it could also be if great help. Talk to friends and family or even a therapist about your relationship with the abuser. Stay away from the abuser for some time and spend some time with loved ones who will provide you with the support you need. This network of friends and family will help you feel less isolated and their truths can help you put things into perspective.
5. Develop an Exit Plan
If the abuser has no intention of changing or stopping their abusive behavior, know that you can’t stay in this unhealthy relationship forever. You may need to take steps to end the relationship.
Each situation is different, so discuss your exit plan with trusted friends, family, or a therapist. Also, understand that such abuse often escalates when the abused decides to leave the relationship, so make plans for a safety net. You’ll need help from trusted friends, family, and a therapist to heal from the abuse you’ve experienced.
Conclusion
Emotional abuse may not leave scars and scratches but it can be as harmful as physical abuse or even more. How to recognize emotional abuse is important in understanding and addressing emotional abuse. Signs such as gaslighting, yelling, isolation, and others explained above, can be experienced in relationships with partners, family members, or coworkers.
Emotional abuse can be self-consuming, leading to a range of mental health issues. Reaching out to a mental health professional can be lifesaving.
FAQs
What are the effects of emotional abuse?
Emotional abuse directly affects the mental well-being of the victims. The criticism, verbal abuse, gaslighting, and name-calling degrades the victim’s self-esteem, and self-confidence and amplifies self-doubt and feelings of worthlessness and helplessness.
Emotional abuse also leads to health problems like depression and anxiety, stomach ulcers, eating disorders, rapid and irregular heartbeat, and insomnia.
How do I deal with emotional abuse?
Emotional abuse unlike physical abuse is difficult to identify, but when you do, here are some tips to address it; make yourself and how you feel a priority, stop blaming yourself, establish boundaries, work on an exit plan and reach out for support.
Why is emotional abuse difficult to identify?
Most victims of emotional abuse do not know they are being abused because they believe that everything they experience is common in a relationship. They believe everything the abuser says to them as such agreeing that they are being abused is extremely difficult and most times takes the help of a friend or family to recognize the abuse.
When is the right time to leave an abusive relationship?
Once you’ve been able to realize that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, imagine the kind of relationship you want and compare them with the abusive one. Knowing what you want in a relationship will help you decide when to leave.
How do I help someone in an emotionally abusive relationship?
If you suspect a loved one or friend is in an emotionally abusive relationship, try to be supportive without judging or blaming them for staying. Educate yourself about emotional abuse about what they are going through, you can gently push them towards available resources or professionals that can help, and lastly, know that the decision to leave the relationship isn’t yours.
by Precious Alex-Toji | Mar 19, 2022 | Relationships & Weddings
If you’re in a relationship and you want to know when your partner is jealous, there are few signs of jealousy in a guy that you can use to find out.
Getting jealous in a relationship is pretty common and normal. If you love someone very much, you would naturally not want that person to have the same affection with someone else that isn’t you. Seeing your partner being too affectionate with someone will definitely make you jealous.
Jealousy comes as a result of fear or insecurity about losing someone. I was reading a post in a daily newspaper, and strangely, I found out that guys get more jealous than girls in a relationship.
Losing someone special can trigger more negative feelings, like anger and resentment. Therefore, knowing these signs of jealousy in a guy can help you identify when your man is getting envious, because, honestly, we won’t tell you.
Signs of Jealousy in a Guy
1. He Stalks Your Social Media
When a guy is jealous, he would want to know what you have been up to. Especially when you go out with friends, and he feels you have told him the details enough.
And what better place to verify, if not your social media posts?
One sign of jealousy in a guy is, he is always checking your social media pages to keep a tab on you. This might be as a result of him wanting to know who you’ve been hanging out with and what you’ve been doing.
You might be telling him about your day and he’d say “So why was his hands over your shoulders” and you’d be wondering where or how he saw it. My sister, you have been stalked online.
You can reassure him by being more open and letting him know the boundaries you have with your friends. It’s left to him to work on his insecurities.
2. He Gets Mood Swings When You Talk About Another Guy
You know how much men love their pride? If you have no idea, go to a football viewing center on a champions league night and observe the men whose team bottled the trophy. There is always an invisible competition between men.
It’s the reason why I don’t like muscular men. All those muscles won’t take them to heaven.
Another sign of jealousy in a guy is his reaction whenever you talk about another guy. For clarity, never compare your man with another, except you are about to praise your man.
Your man can feel uncomfortable when you’re talking about another guy, even if it’s telling him how you were helped to cross the highway. It’s okay if he feels jealous. I mean, if I had a girl, I would want to be her Captain America and Thanos.
What you should look out for, is your man’s reaction when you are telling him about another guy. Does he suddenly sound unbothered? Tries to downplay the conversation? Or shrugs it off?
3. He is Suddenly Overtexting
I love to text my girl a lot, and I mean a lot. (Ha! Alex, you have a girl?)
It is pretty normal to receive 5, 6 text messages from me at once. However, not every man is like me. Some find texting very inconvenient and would prefer to message in short form.
When your man, who does not fancy texting, begins to blow your phone with messages, I’m glad to tell you, my sister, you have a jealous man on your hands.
Receiving multiple texts from a guy you know doesn’t text much is a sign that he’s jealous. I mean, it’d feel weird on your part as a girl to receive a lot of text from someone you know doesn’t like texting.
He suddenly wants to know what you’re doing at that moment, if you’re at the office or at the shopping mall in need of an abaya. I have seen this happen to my friends in class, and it can be so funny.
4. He Begins to Question Your Friends and Family
You can identify the signs of jealousy in a guy by how far he’s ready to get to find out more about what you’ve been up to.
A jealous guy who wants to know what you’ve been up to and who you interact with would go as far as asking questions from your friends and family.
Sometimes, he might even want to win them over to his side. He suddenly becomes an undercover FBI agent and goes around asking about your activities from your friends.
This can happen because he’s probably not convinced about his trust in you.
5. He Begins to Act Very Possessively
A jealous guy would naturally be a possessive guy. He’d definitely not want to share what belongs to him with others.
You know how children have a special toy they wouldn’t release to anybody, not even their parents? That’s just the type of possessiveness a jealous guy would exhibit.
When your man begins to dictate who you should talk to, the kind of places he doesn’t want you to go and the companies you interact with, then you should look out for actions that show his jealousy.
I have had friends who wouldn’t want their girl to go for an outing because she was too pretty. I find it funny because if I have a beauty, why would I want to hide her?
6. He Gets Too Clingy
I am putting this out there now. I am a clingy guy, and I get very attached to my girl. I like to hold her tight. But I also want my girl to have a life of her own outside our relationship.
A jealous guy would act more needy than usual. He would want to spend more time with you than necessary and that would hinder you from having your personal space. If you can’t boast of having your own space in a relationship, check out the boundaries you’ve set.
Most times, he’s probably not spending time with you because he wants to. He’s trying to avoid you spending that time with someone else that’s not him.
Look out for the kind of conversations he brings up when you’re together. Is he comparing himself with someone you know? Probably someone you’ve talked about before?
7. He Gets Very Reactionary
All it takes to let out emotions that have been suppressed for a long time is a simple issue. As simple as you forgetting the remote on the chair when it should be on the table.
When a guy is jealous, he would react way out of proportion over things you might consider flimsy. Say he’s trying to call and can’t reach you; he’d get upset when he does reach you because it’d leave him wondering what you were up to.
Overreacting is another signs of jealousy in a guy. If he begins to drag issues or flare up at the slightest provocation, there might be underlying emotions waiting for expressions that you both might have to talk about.
Conclusion
It is natural to be jealous when you have a partner. It shows you actually love the person you’re with.
What is unhealthy is when you do not address reasons why you are jealous and allow it to affect the beauty of your relationship. If you notice some of these signs of jealousy in your man, a simple chat can take away his fears.
Guys are too proud to tell you how jealous they can be. We won’t admit it, but we feel it. If you’ve had scenarios with a jealous partner, let me know how you handled it in the comment section.
Maybe, just maybe, when I get jealous too, I would know how to handle it.
by Abu Hafsah | Sep 1, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
Jealousy could result from being suspicious towards your partner; resentment towards someone for a perceived advantage or superiority they hold, and envy towards another’s possessions, or a close concern for someone. Arguably, jealousy is something everyone is born with; it is one’s inert ability, funny. In some cases, jealousies are advantageous while in some cases, problematic, which could even result in a breakup. There are different reasons or causes of jealousy in a relationship, some of which are:
Causes of Jealousy in a Relationship
1. Keeping in Touch With Your Ex
Some relationships end between partners due to incompatibility, disagreement, infidelity, and the likes, while some are as a result of external forces outside of those in the relationship. If the latter is the case, there is a proclivity that one will feel the need to see, talk to, or mingle with their ex because the love is still there. Now when this happens, the present partner, be it the guy or the lady will start to feel jealous.
Also, in a situation whereby a couple is divorced and both are happily married to different people, there is a need for the ex to communicate with each other most especially if there are kids in between; the wellbeing of their children is their responsibility. Now as a partner of either of the two, jealousy is something you will feel. You can’t help it.
2. Having Friends of the Opposite Sex
This is one of the common causes of jealousy in a relationship, only a few persons will disagree. Most people like the feeling of “I am the only for my man/woman and so, no one from the opposite sex should come close to my man/woman”.
In Northern Nigeria, it is evident that men and women hardly engage in boy/girl friendship and so, when you see your partner with the opposite sex, jealousy will set in. On the contrary, this is not true among the educated Northern Nigerians, majorly.
3. Inadequate Attention
Everyone by nature needs attention – attention from the opposite sex, be it your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife.
When you care about someone, you will require lots of attention from them. If that attention you crave is channeled in a different direction, jealousy will set in. In the case of a boy/girl relationship, a partner (married couples including) feels jealous when the other is busy concentrating more on other stuff or devoting most of their time in, maybe sports, work, studies etcetera.
Married couples, especially husbands, complain a lot. Most women tend to give more of their attention to their children than their husbands. The attention decreases as the number of children increases. They kind of feel their husbands are grown-ups and so can take care of themselves, but their kids are vulnerable. This results in jealousy on the side of the husbands.
For instance, I once read a story online by a whore saying, a man asked for her hands in marriage simply because he doesn’t get the attention he wants from his wife. She (the whore) eventually turned him down because she doesn’t want to be in any committed relationship. How absurd!
4. Feeling Insecure
This is the fear of been replaced due to one’s incompetence, complacency, or inability to do certain things for their partner. This comes into play when you feel you are not exactly what your partner wants in a man or woman, or when you are not self-confident.
Insecure feeling tends to make you feel jealous whenever you see your partner with someone who has what they want or need that you don’t. This feeling can be blood-sucking; one needs to find a way to do away with it.
It might interest you to read on Improve Your Self-Confidence With These 6 Proven Ways and The Feeling of Insecurity and How to Avoid It.
5. Competition
In the Northern part of Nigeria, sometimes siblings find themselves living in the same house or compound with their wives.
Oftentimes, women tend to disagree on things amongst themselves by default – things that may not even matter at all. This causes jealousy in a situation whereby one of the siblings happens to be richer, more handsome, has a sense of dressing, etc. than the other. The latter’s wife may sometimes get jealous of the former’s wife. This gives birth to an ‘unhealthy competition’. In some cases, this jealousy or rivalry is stronger and fiercer than one between or amongst co-wives.
6. Trust Issues
Trust is something partners need to earn between themselves, not demand. In a situation where a partner is making frequent calls or being visited regularly by a colleague of the opposite sex from the office or workplace, this causes jealousy; or a situation where partners have been engaged in pre-marital sex (in the case of married couples and boy/girl relationship), it is easy for jealousy in regards to that surface.
Whenever your partner is not with you, you feel they are with someone else. Avoiding premarital sex and unnecessary communication between you and the opposite sex will play a huge role in eliminating jealousy between partners.
7. Perfectionism
This is one of the causes of jealousy in a relationship. Perfectionism is an unwillingness to settle for anything less than perfect. Some people are perfectionists; a brother of mine is like that too. Everything and everyone has to be perfect or else, not significant.
People like that get easily jealous when they see you (their partner) with someone better than them.
Loosen up a little, and you will find everyone perfect in their own way, you perfectionist! Lolz.
8. Stalking Your Partner
Another cause of jealousy is when you keep following or stalking your partner; knowing his/her every movement, monitoring their phone calls or text messages, unnecessarily meddling in their affairs, and the likes.
No one is perfect; we all make mistakes. By so doing, you will find things that are hurting and make you jealous – things that you will later wish you never saw or heard.
9. Complementing on Other Peoples’ Attractiveness
Some people are fond of doing so, most especially men. Do not do this to your partner most especially in their presence. Not cool!
Everyone needs to feel they are the most attractive person their partner’s eyes have ever seen (even if obviously, the reverse is the case), anything short of that could be a disaster.
Guys, STOP IT!
10. Not Telling Your Partner What Makes You Jealous
If you are feeling jealous in a relationship, chances are your partner already knows, or they don’t. In either case, let them know what makes you jealous through effective communication means, and help them know how to avoid it.
Keeping it all to yourself won’t solve anything. Trust me. If they probably haven’t noticed you are jealous, telling them will be a good idea.
Conclusion
All the above-mentioned causes of jealousy and more could result in nullifying a relationship.
A jealous partner is oftentimes too busy to see the reality of things around their partners; they only tend to see what their hearts or minds want them to see.
The best and ultimate thing to do is to TRUST your partner more than anyone, and it’s a GOAL!
If you find the article useful, kindly comment on the comments section, and also, tell which of the causes of jealousy do you think was left out?
Related: 7 Reasons Why Relationships Fail
by JB Mairubutu | May 27, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
There is nothing as heart shredding for a lady to be with a guy who isn’t serious about you. This isn’t healthy for anyone irrespective of gender. It hurts more than a cut from a knife upon discovery. I am sure most of us have had this experience. This is why it is risky too as we would say catch cruise with the matter that concerns the heart. As a lady, it is important to ensure that you’re dating who is dating you. Do not date by assumptions. It will end in premium tears. We will be looking at signs that the brother you’re with is serious with you and not just having fun at your expense.
1. He Makes Plans with You
When a brother does this, it is a clear indication that you are in his books. Every responsible man in a relationship makes plans with his girlfriend in mind. Whatever he does, he does for the two of you. You wouldn’t be shocked to discover that he has done things without involving. If this happens, then Oga no get you for mind.
2. He Makes Efforts to See You
He can’t be in love with you and not want to see you. It isn’t even possible. Forget hard or tough guy, any man that is serious about you would always make efforts to see you. Even if you’re in Maiduguri and he is in Abuja or so, he would take time to have you come over or come to see you. A man can always go any length to see you if he is serious about you. If he makes efforts to see you then my sister, you’re in a serious relationship.
3. Always Want to Call or Communicate With You
If Malam calls you or always wants to reach out to you then he is so serious about you. If you’re the only one calling and he gives you flimsy excuses for not calling or missing your calls, my dear, you’re dating yourself. When he is serious about you, he would want to give you a breakdown of his day and share his schedule for the day with you. Gerrit?
4. He Must Show Signs of Jealousy
Any man who is in love with you must be jealous particularly when he notices that another guy is getting close to you. If the guy you’re with doesn’t show any iota of jealousy, then forget it, he isn’t serious about you. No man wants his treasure to be taken away not by another man. Well, I’m not in support of obsessive men that might hurt you. Nope! The point is any man who is serious about must show signs of jealousy.
5. He Apologizes When He is Wrong
Any man who is in love with you and sees you as a matter would apologize to you when he is wrong or when he wants peace to reign. If he is acting all tough and looks for a way of blackmailing you instead of apologizing to you, just take your tenth elsewhere and pitch this land isn’t yours. Gracias!
6. He Wants to Learn About You
When you’re dating someone you have to learn about the person by asking questions because humans evolve daily. We drop and pick up new habits on a daily basis. If he is serious about you, he would want to learn more about you either by asking questions or observing you.
7. Have You Met His Family Yet?
This question is very important. The minute he literally stops using the gate with you, that is when it is obvious that you’re in a serious relationship. Please, don’t go pressurizing someone you just started dating to meet his parents. That is a trait of a desperate being and he will run. If he is serious about you, he will certainly take you to his family if you guys have been together for a while.
8. You Will Have a Say Too
It is only one who isn’t serious about you that wouldn’t give a cent to how you feel and allow you have a say in the relationship too. Most guys who aren’t serious about you will want to be the ones making decisions for both of you; whatever you say or think wouldn’t matter. This is surely one of the signs that he is serious about you.
9. He Wants the Best for You
Any man who is in love with you is aware that if you achieve greatness, it rubs off on him so he would want to be supportive and ensure that you get the best in this life. If he is serious about you, then brother would want the best for you. But if the case is different, then you’re being played.
10. When He Asks You Out
This should have been number one. Anyone serious about you will do the needful by asking you and not just flirting with you. If all he does is flirt with you and refuses to ask you out, then you should move on with your life. He isn’t serious about you.
Conclusion
You see these signs that he is serious about you we have given? Abide by them and save yourself from wetting your pillows with tears at night. Thank you for your time.
If you find this article interesting, kindly leave a comment in the comments section below. Gracias!
You could also check on: With These 9 Signs, You Will Know If You’ve Found Your Soulmate.
by Happiness Hassan | Apr 16, 2021 | Family & Parenting
I need you to picture yourself arriving late for an appointment. Unfortunately, you lost the contract you’ve worked hard for. Heading back home in disappointment, it begins to rain, while hurrying to take shelter, a reckless driver drove past you and spilt muddy water on your outfit. What would be your mood at that instance? An ample number of persons give in to anger, transfer of aggression, retaliating with harsh words, smashing valuables, oftentimes shedding tears to let the pain out.
However, your body and mood begin to return to normality after you’ve relaxed, perhaps taken a nap. You start seeking encouragement to comfort yourself, while in that process, flashbacks on the damages you did a few hours ago start replaying in your head, and you wonder “how on earth did you do all that”? Most times you feel you’re been manipulated by an unknown force and can’t find an explanation. Well, the resultant effect of your mood at all times is controlled by your emotions. Therefore, it’s necessary to know how to recognize emotions, likewise learn to manage them to prevent hurting yourself and others.
What are Emotions?
Emotions are intense feelings with biological origin resulting from neuropsychological changes in the human body. Connected with one’s temperament, behaviour, personality, thoughts, moods, creativity, and motivation.
Where Does Emotion Come From?
Psychologists believe emotions are the results of changes within the body, derived from the heart. While neurologists proposed that emotions are produced by the brain. The brain coordinates everything within the body including emotions.
The brain contains a limbic system that houses various tissues in charge of controlling emotions, also, emotions are coded into the DNA. These issues include;
The hypothalamus which is in charge of sexual response, hormone release, and temperature regularly
The amygdala regulates responses to things happening around such as fear and pleasure.
The hippocampus is responsible for preserving and retrieving memories.
There limbic cortex controls mode, inspiration, motivation, and judgment.
Why Are Emotions Important?
Humans rarely pay attention to their feelings until it gets out of control. The decisions you make daily are influenced by your emotions. Likewise, Our response to our environment and situation around.
Mastering your emotions prevents hurts and enables you to coordinate yourself. If your emotions control you, definitely your entire life becomes disarranged. How to recognize emotions are necessary to aid you to control them and channel your energy in the right direction.
Categories Of Emotions
1. Negative Emotions
These are sets of feelings, behaviour, and response which inflict discomfort, pain, and damages on the initiator and those around. Once these emotions begin to control a person, his energy is channelled in the wrong direction.
Furthermore, staying on negative emotions for long increases stress hormones and eventually affects your health negatively. How to recognize emotions with negative effects are easy to spot on the surface and is controlled majorly by the amygdala. There are so many types of negative emotions;
1. Anger
A state of displeasure and hostility. Control by the amygdala in the brain. There is a release of a chemical known as catecholamines which leads to an outburst of energy. Signs of anger include;
- Sweaty palms
- Frown looks
- Forming fist
- Increase in heartbeat
- Grinding of teeth
- Clenching jaw
- Shaking and trembling
- Sarcastic responses
- Yelling and shouting
- Depression
- Absence of humor.
2. Fear
This is a state of being terrified and uncomfortable induced by someone or something. To recognize fear lookout for the following;
- Rapid Heartbeat
- Sweating uncontrollably
- Raised of eyebrows
- Discomfort in the stomach
- Trembling
- Nervousness
- Short breath
- Quick short movement.
3. Sadness
A mental disorder with a feeling of depression, unhappiness, and worthlessness. Oftentimes, when things don’t go as planned sadness steps in. Likewise, when one experiences a loss. Methods use in recognizing that one is sad includes;
- Self-isolation
- Lack of focus/concentration
- Unenthusiastism
- Tiredness
- Moody looks
- Despair
- Too much sleep or lack of sleep
- Quietness
- Loss of interest
- Emptiness
- Tearful
4. Jealousy
It’s a feeling of resentment, envy, fear, and insecurity towards someone or something. This is caused by low self-esteem. Signs of jealousy include;
- Giving of false compliment
- Hatred
- Quick to criticize
- Judgmental
- Unnecessary show-off
- Unhealthy comparison
- Celebrate failure
- Ignore achievement
5. Loneliness
Research shows that adults above 65 years feel the heat of loneliness more. Loneliness is a feeling of separation and abandonment. How to recognize emotions displaying loneliness include;
- Sleeplessness
- Unproductiveness
- Drawn to possession
- Negative thought system
- Easily gets annoyed
- Frequent illness
- Tiredness
- Cut-off from others.
2. Positive Emotions
These are sets of pleasurable sensations that are always desirable. Once activated it brings peace and enthusiasm. It erases a pessimistic attitude, gives your reasons to live, reasons to help others, and guides you to make profitable decisions. Also, it’s a feeling of gratitude, influenced by the amygdala in the limbic system. There are so many types of positive emotions.
1. Happiness
I honestly think happiness is being present and finding joy in every moment
Aimee Marino
Therefore, Happiness is a choice to maintain inner peace despite your current circumstances. How to recognize true happiness entails;
- Open-minded
- Worrying less
- Thankfulness
- Supportive/Encouraging
- Living in the moment
- Celebrate good
- Enjoy nature
- Love/value yourself
- Laughing out loud
2. Contentment
A neurological feeling of happiness and satisfaction with one’s current stage of life while hoping for something higher. Signs to note about contentment includes;
- Being true to yourself
- Setting your needs within your financial carrying capacity
- Humility
- Confidence in one strength And talent
- Cheerful mood
- Been realistic
- Healthy routine
- Lack of envy and greed
3. Love
It’s an emotional feeling of affection and attraction towards someone or something which propels you to the extent of sacrificing your all to see them happy.
Hence, they are included as one of your priorities. To tell if you’re in love or someone loves you, check out for the following signs;
- Selflessness
- Spending time with loved ones
- Constant thought about what you love
- Notice every little change about that person or thing.
- Speak about that person/thing all the time.
- Cherish and values that person/thing.
- Openness
- Feeling of happiness around that person/things.
- Been caring
4. Trust
It’s the state of dependability and reliability on someone or in your ability. Signs of trust includes;
- Respect boundaries
- Commitment
- Gratitude.
- Confident
- Loyalty
- Doesn’t compromise
- Forgives easily
- Consistency
5. Positive Anticipation
This is an eager expectation for an upcoming event. Positive anticipation induces emotions to cope with stress and disappointment.
How to recognize positive anticipation emotions is often trickish because not everyone can differentiate between positive or negative anticipation. Signs include;
- Hyper activeness
- Cognizant
- Positive thought
- Happiness
- Planning and orderliness
- Been nervous
- Hope
- Alertness
How To Manage Emotions
In addition to how you can recognize your emotions, here are ways to control them most especially the negative emotions.
1. Give Yourself Space
The moment you discover two to three signs of your predominant emotions is displaying, deep within you, you’re aware of the usual out-burst around people.
Immediately, excuse yourself from among others to prevent further retaliation, especially signs of anger and jealousy.
2. Develop a Thankful Heart
Don’t spend your entire day complaining about what isn’t right, use that period to appreciate the wonderful things in your life, around you, and in the lives of others.
A thankful heart is an antidote to loneliness and sadness.
3. Take control of Your Emotions
Your emotions are subjected to your will depending on how you use them. For instance when the light goes off, usually you begin to panic due to darkness.
However, don’t give in to fear, decide to take control and search for the nearest source of light, probably your phone. By so doing your bravery and courage comes alive.
4. Generating Positive Energy Helps Manage Negative Emotions
To trash out, negative emotions surround yourself with Positive personalities. Who would encourage you to live out your best version?
Also, read, watch, and listen to something that fills your mind with positivity and hope.
5. Consider Others Before Giving in to Negative Emotions
Your emotions may appear superior to your will and you assume you can’t control it. That’s when you should reflect on the effect the outburst of your emotions would have on others. Hence, calm down and subject your emotions to your will.
Conclusion
The signs on how to recognize emotions are useful in detecting our personal feelings at all points in time and telling how others are feeling. From a psychologist’s viewpoint, our environment influences our emotions. Hence, become conscious of the things surrounding you, which your mind is exposed to. Take charge of your emotions.
Perhaps, you have experienced the effect of negative emotions, do well to share in the comment section below.
