by Precious Alex-Toji | Apr 18, 2022 | Personal Growth
When the word “mentoring” is mentioned, what usually comes to our mind is the picture of people in suits giving speaking to a gathering of people, and giving advice. What if I told you, that everyone is and can be a mentor to someone? In this article, I’d be showing you how to be a mentor to someone using 7 working strategies, some of which you might have been exhibiting without knowing.
Mentoring involves helping someone consciously grow and develop. Most times, it forms into a relationship between the mentor and the mentee (that is, the person being mentored).
Some mentorship relationships may last for a long time, others for a very short while. I have had conversations with experts in the writing field that lasted less than an hour but have had a tremendous impact on my career.
How to be a mentor to someone is not a daunting task. It involves some of the skills you probably already have like listening and curiosity. If you have younger siblings, it’d not be surprising if you know just how much influence you have on them.
What are the 7 strategies for being the perfect mentor?
7 Ways on How to be a Mentor to Someone
1. Ask Your Mentee Questions
One of the key tips on how to be a mentor to someone is being able to question your mentee on various aspects of their life, goals, and aspirations.
First, you need to know your mentee. You need to know who they are, their background, their likes, and dislikes among other things. This helps you start the training process on a relationship basis.
Secondly, you need to know their goals and aspirations. What do they aim to get from you? What aspects of their life or career do they want to see progress? These questions help you understand what challenges your mentee is facing and how you can help.
When I first contacted my “short-term” mentor, he asked me straight up “Alex what do you want to learn from me. Write it down and I’d give you a call in the next one hour” and that was it. Asking that question helped me gain clarity on what I actually wanted to gain.
2. Be an Active Listener
Active and attentive listening is a skill everyone needs to practice, especially those who are or want to be mentors.
As a mentor, you should give your mentee the freedom to speak. Think of it as a conversation between siblings.
You might have a vast knowledge of what you want to teach your mentee but paying attention to what they have to say can give you insight into how to teach. While you might have ready answers to guide your mentee, allowing them to speak can give an insight into how they think.
Learn to listen. Listening helps you understand their point of view. It can give you clarity on what your mentee really wants and how to help them through.
3. Create a Step-by-Step Plan to Help Them Grow
I’m fighting the urge to write “failing to plan is planning to fail”. Then I’d drop the mic and you guys would clap for me. On a serious note though, creating a plan is important when mentoring someone, especially if the mentorship is a long-term one.
You can create a plan that helps you work around the goals you’ve both set out from the beginning. Setting mutual goals gives you a blueprint on what you both want to achieve from the relationship. For example, if your mentee’s goal is to learn how to be a better public speaker, you can use that as a yardstick when creating a plan to help them out.
A plan also contains the schedule of your meeting. How would your contact meetings be? Offline or online? Google Meet or at a cafeteria?
4. Deliberate on Ideas Together
Do you notice how I keep saying “relationship” rather than “mentorship”? That’s because, as a mentor building a relationship with your mentee helps them connect with you better.
When a connection is established, you can then begin to deliberate and ponder on ideas together. Yes, I know you have exactly what your mentee needs but have you ever thought that they might actually have an idea on what to do but don’t know how to do it?
When I started writing, I had no idea how to monetize my skill. I met up with some of my friends, turned mentors who had experience in building careers. Rather than tell me how to monetize my skill, they asked me a few questions.
- Why do you like writing?
- What do you need to be a good writer?
- What platforms do you know hire the type of writer you are?
- If you were a client, would you hire yourself?
I had answers to some of these questions immediately, and some I did not. Instead of showing me platforms that hired writers, they made me research and bring to them platforms that best fit my style. In the end, I made the choice myself, with their guide.
When you brainstorm ideas together with your mentee, rather than provide all the answers yourself, you are helping them develop as thinkers.
5. Introduce Them to Your Network
Sometimes, someone might want you to be their mentor because they noticed how much access you have to people and they want that. Honestly speaking, I’ve had conversations with people I ordinarily wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for my mentors.
As a mentor, if you have several connections that would help your mentee develop better, feel free to network your mentee with them.
However, do not feel pressured to do these. If you feel your mentee isn’t developed enough to be granted access to your network, don’t make that introduction.
6. Give Words of Encouragement
Guiding someone through a developing phase can be hard. And I mean, very hard. Some days clicking with your mentee would be difficult. As with every relationship, good days and bad days happen.
This is where you come in as a good mentor. Rather than dish out criticism at the slightest opportunity, substitute it with words of encouragement.
I remember days when I felt like I wasn’t doing things right and I would run back to my mentor and complain over the same thing we’ve gone over a thousand times and all he’d say is “be patient, Alex. Work on your patience”. And that was it.
7. Avoid Being Bias and Judgmental
One key tip on how to be a mentor to someone is to keep every form of bias or prejudice you have aside when mentoring someone.
As a mentor, you need to keep an open mind when meeting your mentee. Avoid projecting any form of prejudice or stereotype towards them because it can affect the mentorship process.
Be a safe space for your mentee. Let them know you are there for there. Listen to their frustrations and vents. Avoid judging. You never know what things they might be going through.
Conclusion
These 7 tips on how to be a mentor to someone are practicable. Sometimes, people can choose you to be their mentor because they see what you have been doing and feel you can help them through too.
Being a mentor can be a fun experience. As you’re helping someone grow and develop, you’re also developing yourself as an individual.
Have you ever had a mentor or are you a mentor yourself? What experience would you like others to know? Share your thoughts in the comment section. I’d be looking out for tips to share.
FAQs
Who is a mentor?
A mentor is someone who serves as a guardian, an adviser, and support to you. They are usually experienced people who take the time to understand your challenges and help you out.
What is a mentor supposed to do?
A mentor, is expected that share insight about your career and provide strategies, guidance, emotional support, and maintain a friendly relationship with your mentee.
What are the three A’s of mentorship?
The three a’s of mentorship include being available, being an active listener, and being analytical. These three characteristics are necessary for being a good mentor.
What are the 7 roles of a mentor?
The seven roles every mentor is expected to perform include- role model, coach, teacher, sponsor, agent, advisor, and confidante.
What are the benefits of having a mentor?
A mentor provides you with knowledge gotten from experience, helps you improve as an individual, and gives you access to professionals in their network.
How to be a good mentee?
As a mentee, you’re expected to be responsible for your learning, respect your mentor’s boundaries, be trustworthy and be open to learning.
What are key skills necessary for mentorship?
As a mentor, you should have good communication skills, be able to listen attentively, have good emotional awareness, and must be open to learning too.
How old do I have to be to be a mentor?
In most cases, mentorship comes with experience rather than age. If you have experience in a particular field, people would naturally want to learn from you.
Why should I become a mentor?
Being a mentor gives you the opportunity to share your skills and experience. This way, you are building a community of people with value, as individuals to the society.
What should I do when mentoring for the first time?
If you are mentoring for the first time, it is vital that you get to know your mentee, know what skills you have to pass on, and learn to help with the little things.
by Michelle Anama Abari | Jan 24, 2022 | Personal Growth
The ability to analyze arguments, evaluate evidence, and distinguish between fact and opinion is a valuable skill that most people term critical thinking. In this article, I will be tutoring you on learning how to think critically. Stay with me.
What Does Critical Thinking Mean?
A simple definition is that critical thinking is the analysis of factual evidence to form a judgment. However, a closer inspection of the term and its meaning shows there are other meanings. The Stanford encyclopedia of philosophy defines critical thinking as the core concepts of the process of ‘careful goal-directed thinking’. Another university’s definition is that ‘good critical thinking includes recognizing good arguments even when we disagree with them, and poor arguments even when these support our point of view’.
In my opinion, I can say that critical thinking is the art and act of analyzing, interpreting, inference, explaining, self-regulating, open-mindedness, and problem-solving skills one acquires to tackle a situation.
There are some benefits of critical thinking and some of them include:
- Question assumptions
- Make better decisions
- Exercise curiosity
- Create compelling arguments
- Reflect on yourself and your life
There are other benefits of critical thinking and some of them include increasing memory and retention capabilities, open-mindedness, emotional control, handling criticism especially criticisms at the workplace, schools, home amongst others. Critical thinking has a million sides to it and there are lots of benefits to learning how to think critically.
How to Think Critically
1. Identify the Issue
When faced with a situation or problem, determine what has caused it.
2. Analyze the Arguments
There will usually be several sides to an argument, so it’s important to understand who is saying what and how valid each position is.
3. Discover the Facts
It’s essential to separate the facts from the opinions and assess how accurately the evidence is presented.
4. Challenge Your Biases
Ask yourself whether or not you’re making assumptions, why you believe a certain point, and whether you’re letting confirmation bias, heuristics, framing, or common fallacies impact your thinking.
5. Decide on Significance
Each side of an argument will likely have supporting evidence. Deciding which information is most important, deductive, valid, and has a sound premise will help decide the significance of each.
6. Draw Conclusions
The various steps above will lead and help you to decide which option or argument (if any) is the most relevant. You can also weigh up the strengths and weaknesses of all options.
Honestly, learning how to think critically is very essential in our daily lives and there are a million and one ways to think critically.
After you must have reached this column and understood what critical thinking entails, your question then shifts from ‘what does critical thinking mean?’ to ‘how do I improve critical thinking skills?’
How to Improve Critical Thinking Skills
There are several ways that you can achieve the benefits of critical thinking, including:
1. Use Scrutiny and Skepticism
Requires little effort to accept things at face value and believe what you’re being told.
Can be difficult to make effective decisions or draw informed conclusions when you’re surrounded by inaccurate information.
3. Use Reliable Sources
When you’re researching a topic to make an informed decision, always pay attention to the source. Look at evidence-based information from reliable outlets and be careful of how statistics are presented to you.
4. Listen Actively
Active Listening is a technique that ensures the listener concentrates, understands, responds to, and remembers what’s being said. It’s also about observing behaviour and body language.
5. Develop More Empathy
Being able to put yourself in the shoes of another person allows you to understand their point of view, motivations, and aspirations.
Most people fail to realize that critical thinking has its root ineffective communication. Communicating well helps one to look at not only the speech of an individual but also the body language and tone of that individual to know your next words. Critical thinking uses communication as a skill to make better decisions.
Final thoughts…
As I said earlier, critical thinking as a skill is a valuable skill that can help us make better decisions and judgments. It helps us as individuals make life-changing decisions and also see through things that aren’t real.
Critical thinking should not be seen as a concept, but as a skill to acquire, it’s very relevant in our lives and should be treated as such.
by Happiness Hassan | Mar 16, 2021 | Personal Growth
The 7 C’s of communication are sets of guidelines and principles for effective written and spoken words. However, communication is an inseparable act of our everyday activities.
Hence, the main aim of the 7 C’s of communication is targeted at enhancing a quick understanding of what Is been communicated.
What are the 7 C’s of Communication?
1. Clarity
It’s difficult for the human brain to assimilate series of complex words at the same time. Hence, clarity as a key factor of the 7 C’s of communication entails your spoken or written words are not ambiguous. The simplicity of content helps to reduce uncertainty while communicating.
Perhaps, you have lots on your list to communicate, begin with grouping your words into sections to aid a quick understanding of your listeners. Learn more about the tips for effective communication.
2. Concise
Almost everyone is guilty of violating this principle of communication. However, been concise implies you go straight to the point without the inclusion of the needless. To master this act, you must value your listener’s time and be disciplined not to waste it with unending talks. Learn to be brief and communicate the necessary words.
This reminds me of how I messed up my project presentation due to my inability to summarize my points within the allocated time slot. Unknowing to me, I kept on speaking about what I felt was important. Not until I decided to go into my presentation proper, then I realized I had a few minutes left. I lost my composure immediately because I had not made emphasis on what my presentation was all about in detail. The supervisors and listeners assumed I wasn’t prepared and asked me to leave the podium. But that wasn’t the case. Rather the issue was my lack of conciseness.
3. Complete
No one is propelled to take action when what has been communicated is incomplete. The next course of action of many listeners is to discard what has been heard. Immediately assume you’re simply entertaining them.
Also, suspense kills the eagerness to listen or read further. Hence, complete as one of the 7 C’s of communication ensure that all communicated words are whole encompassing all the necessary details.
4. Correct
This aspect of communication emphasizes the importance of structure and organization of grammar, diction, punctuation, and vocabulary while communicating. Ensure your words are well spelt, have no errors, and are pronounced correctly.
Incorrect spelling and pronunciation mislead the listeners and creates doubt concerning what has been communicated. Endeavour to cross-check your words before delivering them.
5. Courteous
Maintaining a good manner and regard for others while communicating saves you from the stress of arguing with them.
Always check out your tune while communicating because calm and gentle words are effective tools for convincing others and eliminating misunderstanding. Likewise, your physical behaviours such as your body language should portray respect for your listeners.
A courteous attitude is crucial while communicating most especially those in charge of customers services in various organizations. Indeed, six out of every ten calls received are from customers who are angry and dissatisfied with a particular service. The best way to resolve their complaints is by responding to their needs with courtesy instead of responding harshly, aggravating their anger.
6. Concrete
The 7 C’s of communication also deal with the accuracy and reliability of what is being communicated. In essence, concrete means that your words are based on a precise source and not an assumption attempting to convince others.
Some years back, I was a victim of a false product advertisement communicated by a group of persons who claimed their products were antidotes for facial inflammations. Meanwhile, they were merely interested in the sales of products. Their information was not rooted in any reliable source. And lots of persons fell victims and experienced worse facial conditions than the Initial state.
7. Cohesive
Every statement communicated should aim at a particular objective and not be spoken haphazardly without focus. Therefore, been cohesive while communicating requires a flow and connection between words either spoken or written.
You can attest to the fact that no one enjoys reading a novel in which its scenes are not well arranged with links from one story plot to another. This is because you end up been confused without understanding the main storyline of the book.
How Do You Remember the 7 C’s of Communication?
Your brain gets to familiarize itself with the 7 C’s of communication as you read them frequently. Moreover, If you’re a salesperson, a boss at the office, or an employer. You must master these principles to maintain a mutual relationship in your business and office. Next, become Conscious, have these principles in your mind as you go about with your daily activities.
Finally, practising makes you remember the 7 C’s of communication faster. Don’t wait until you are asked to deliver a speech at the office or an occasion before you practice these keys. Start immediately with your family, friends, and neighbours. And to the larger society.
Conclusion
The application of the 7 C’s of communication is often difficult to practice all at the same time. But then, you can improve drastically through the realization that all the principles are interconnected. For instance, you need to state what you want to buy in a simple and brief manner, containing the exact details of what you want, well pronounced and communicated with etiquette to the seller. Likewise to every other aspect of life.
Therefore, share with us some of your applications of the 7 C’s of communication in your daily activities.
by Happiness Hassan | Mar 16, 2021 | Personal Growth
Our world would be left in confusion if humans are unable to communicate with each other. In essence, effective communication fosters advanced social interaction which creates global and local development. It’s based on communication we’re able to express ourselves resulting in a lasting relationship, eliminating misunderstanding. Hence, communication goes beyond mere words and the transfer of information rather it entails we understand the emotions and intentions behind what is been communicated. That’s why it’s important all humans learn the tips for effective communication to prevent communicating haphazardly.
But Before That Let’s Consider Real-Life Experience
During last year’s Eid al-Fitr celebration. I accompanied my friend Mariam to pick up a few things from the market a day to the celebration. On entering the market we decided to patronize the first seller on the lane. So, we approached his shop and greet him. His frowned looks made us uncomfortable coupled with his harsh response to our greetings. Although we ignored his manners and assumed he was having a bad day.
Next, he brought out all the goods we requested, and we started bargaining. Within the twinkle of an eye, he flared up. According to him, we had under-priced his goods and were not ready to purchase the items. In no time he was asking us to leave his shop. I and Mariam in shock looked at each other and quietly took our leave.
However, on getting to the next seller, our experience with him was a total contrast to the first seller. The second seller welcomed us in a friendly manner. We bargained amicably and were ready to depart. Due to curiosity we stopped and inquire about the first seller attitude. He shook his head and replied; That’s how he behaves all the time, he lacks communication manners which is gradually affecting his sales.
At that moment it dawned on me that communication is one of the keys to success. Hence, in this post, I will be discussing seven tips for effective communication.
Here are the Tips For Effective Communication
1. Understand The Opposite Perspective
A large percentage of persons are quick to say whatever pops up in their minds. And express exactly how they think a situation should be addressed without considering what the listeners think and feels. Hence, for you to communicate effectively consider the reaction of your listener before speaking.
For instance, you want to convince an uncivilized man on the reason why he needs to embrace civilization. This might become a tug of war for you and perhaps result in an argument. At the same time, you can communicate effectively to him by understanding his perspective owing to the fact he had lived his entire life practicing certain kinds of lifestyle.
2. Focus Helps You Communicate Better
Effective communication is achieved when the receiver understands what has been communicated otherwise, the aim of that communication is fruitless. How do you achieve this? Start by being focused, if possible maintain mutual eye contact while communicating, paying maximum attention to the non-verbal signs of your listeners.
Also, do away with every form of distraction and interruptions while communicating such as diverting from the subject, answering phone calls, excusing yourself to pick a thing or two, and lots more.
3. Applying the C’s of communication
Applying the 7 C’s of communication promotes effective communication and also terminate the gaps and misunderstanding between individuals at workplaces, home, schools, and offices. These include: clarity, correctness, conciseness, courtesy, concreteness, consideration and completeness.
4. Study the Atmosphere While Communicating
The consciousness of your listener’s emotions enables you to communicate effectively. Always study their reactions as you speak, sad listeners will appreciate you more when your words communicated cheers them.
Instead of listening to a long boring speech, attempting to convince them to buy your products. It’s best you cheer them up first before asking them to buy your products.
5. Always Engage the listeners During Communication
This is another crucial tip for effective communication. Learn to carry your listeners along, avoid being the only one doing the talking. At regular time intervals, take a break and listen to what the other person has to contribute on the subject of discussion.
6. Don’t Criticize When You’re on the Listening End
Communication is a two-way act that involves a listener and a speaker. Hence, when you happen to be on the listening side, be careful not to criticize or pass judgmental comments about the speaker and what is been communicated. This behavior results in disorderliness distracting the atmosphere. If you must make corrections do it with courtesy after the speaker is done talking.
7. Select Your Words Before Speaking
You shouldn’t speak because you feel like talking neither should you communicate from the standpoint of anger. Select the kinds of words you use in addressing various listeners to avoid igniting misunderstanding and creating the wrong impression.
Conclusion
Communicating effectively is crucial and applicable to all aspects of life from academic to business to family to friendship to career and personal life. Also, the tips for effective communication can be applied vice versa for both listeners and speakers. Lastly, avoiding distractions and interruptions during communication. Instead, learn to listen more and maintain focus.
Finally, head on to the comment section and share your previous communication experiences.
by Fatima Sheikh | Mar 13, 2021 | Personal Growth
Listening is the act of concentrating and paying attention to action or sound. As simple as this might sound, how good are we at listening? Do we only hear what we choose to hear or do we listen actively with our ears, mind, and body while deciphering and comprehending information? At the end of the article, you should be learning five new tips to improve your listening skills.
The act of active listening can be the solution to so many communication errors in all phases of our lives. Imagine a world where parents actively listened to their children, children listened to their parents, leaders listened to their followers, couples mastering the act of active listening, or individuals like you and me being taught active listening in school. More than half of the problems of the world will be solved, if only we mind to know how to improve our listening skills. In addition, there will be less divorce rate, community conflict, and possibly fewer or no wars at all. The world will be a far safer place.
Mastering the skill of listening will not only help you communicate effectively professionally but also transform your relationships, friendships, and marriages.
Tips to Help You Improve Your Listening Skills
1. Practice Silence and Sound Exercise
With so much noise around us, paying attention to every single sound or concentrating during a long conversation has proven difficult. Practising listening to the silence and sound exercise every morning for five minutes will help sharpen your listening concentration before you start the day.
Silence Exercise
Get a quiet spot. Sit calmly and listen to the silence. Listen to yourself. Reset your ears to hear the quiet and stillness.
Sound Exercise
Every day, for a minimum of five minutes, pay attention to the sounds around you. Pick individual sounds out. This can be the sound of water running from the tap or the wind blowing or even the sound of you brushing your hair. This is a great way to start the day especially if you look forward to having a conversation or meeting. This will help you concentrate better during the session.
2. Face the Speaker and Maintain Eye Contact
Paying attention during a conversation can be very tiring, particularly if you have a short attention span, you might drift off easily. To curb this challenging situation, you should look straight at the speaker with your whole body and maintain straight eye contact throughout the conversation.
Following their body movements and eye contact will keep you at the moment thereby, enhancing your concentration to listen actively.
3. Visualize What the Speaker Is Saying
Listening is the missing half of communication. We have two ears and a mouth solemnly for this reason; we cannot communicate effectively when we are not fully listening to the person talking. While listening, look deeper into what the party is listening to. Try to feel what the speaker feels. Listen to the real message that he/she is trying to communicate but is not saying out. Put yourself in their shoes and picture every word they are saying and every circumstance or situation they are describing.
Also, pay attention to the nonverbal cues.
4. Ask Questions Only to Ensure Understanding
While you are supposed to be paying attention all through the conversation, make some gestures at short intervals to indicate you are listening. In fact, listening will demonstrate to the speaker you are in reality listening and present. When the speaker pauses during the conversation, ask clarifying questions only to ensure understanding. This will encourage the speaker to simplify further, thereby achieving the main aim of communication.
5. Don’t Impose Your Solutions
According to a research by Roland Barthes,
Listening can be understood on three levels: alerting, deciphering, and an understanding of how the sound is produced and how the sound affects the listener.
Roland Barthes
These stages of interpreting information while listening can differ from person to person. As a listener, you must keep a very open mind during a conversation. Do not interrupt or impose your judgments. Be attentive and relaxed even if you do not agree with the opinion of the speaker.
Taking a moment to decipher, understand and comprehend the message might shade more light on the matter. If you seem to have a different opinion after analyzing the message, give constructive feedback instead.
Conclusion
Listening, as straightforward as it might sound, is a skill most of us lack. We live in a world where listening will help us understand the other person and message, connect and build rapport, trust, and care.
Listening can be a useful skill for different problems, but it is essential to solving conflict, poor listening can lead to misinterpretations thus causing conflict or a dispute.
Wikipedia 2019
Make it a habit to actively listen. When you listen to yourself, you can listen to people better. True communication is listening. Finally, what method helps you listen better? Tell me in the comments section below. Thank you.
