by JB Mairubutu | Nov 6, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
One thing we shouldn’t joke with is our mental health and this is why it is important to date right. Dating for all the wrong reasons would bring heartaches and premium tears. So many who have gone down this route have either died or disliked the idea of being in love. It is, therefore, important that we date the right person. This article seeks to help you know how to find the right partner.
10 Ways of Choosing the Right Partner
1. Don’t Rush
We shouldn’t want to date just for fun or to catch the cruise. This isn’t healthy or morally right at all. For this reason, one isn’t supposed to rush into a relationship. I understand that there is an adrenaline rush when we meet someone new and seem to connect and we just wanna dive into a relationship with that person. No! Fight the temptation.
It might not be easy but it is important to observe and use one’s head before dating someone. If you do this, there is a 100 and 1 % chance that you will end up with the right partner.
2. To Find the Right Person, Don’t Let Lust Lead You
The fact that you have chemistry with this person and perhaps, you’re compatible sexually doesn’t make that person the right partner. Don’t allow sexual fantasies or lust to lead you.
If you allow lust to lead you, it is obvious that you will end up with the wrong person.
3. Find Someone You Can Be Free With
One way you would know if someone is right is if you find someone you can be yourself with. Anyone who wants you to pretend or live a fake life isn’t for you. You need to be free around your partner.
You don’t need a partner that always makes you feel bad about yourself. Nah! This is surely one of the ways to find the right partner.
4. To Find the Right Person, Avoid Materialistic People
If you are into materialistic people, this point is not for you. Materialistic people tend to be very entitled. These traits are that of toxic folks. Don’t go after people who are like this. They might ruin you big time. All they care about is buying the latest shoes, bags, shirts, and always looking at competing with others.
Flee from them!
5. Build True Friendship
Looking for how to find the right partner? Build true friendship and be intentional about this. I know a couple who have been married for close to ten years and they are happy. Guess what? They started this way – by building true friendship.
If you ask them what the secret to their happy home is, they will point to this fact. They are very good friends before being lovers.
6. Learn to Love Yourself
For you to find the right partner you can love or be with, you need to love yourself. This is very paramount. It is easier to love someone when you love yourself. Please, learn to love yourself.
7. To Find the Right Partner, Be Intentional About It
Being intentional about finding the right partner will help you put a lot of factors into consideration. For instance, the qualities you want in a person, the person’s interest, the type of family, etc.
Be intentional about these things. This will help you to settle for the right person.
8. Find Someone You Can Communicate Effectively With
This is very vital. The success of a relationship is dependent on communication. I want to share a story with you:
This couple were married, let’s say two months and the wife will cook and expect the husband to come dish for himself. She didn’t see serving him as a big deal. Don’t call her names yet, perhaps, in her home, everyone was expected to go dish food themselves. It happens. Hubby didn’t like this and it kept happening for weeks. It was beginning to affect their marriage until he realized that there was a need to talk to her about it. They did and it was then he realized that she didn’t even see not serving him as a big deal. After then, she changed and the problem was solved.
Do you see how powerful communication can be? If you’re wanna end up with the right person, let it be someone you have good communication with.
9. You Must Be the Right Person Too
Looking for how to find the right partner? Be the right person first. So many people want to date the right partner and on the other hand, they aren’t the right people themselves.
For you to be the right person, you will have to curb those excesses, work on bad habits, and be humane. If you do this, then you’re worthy to look for the right person to be with.
10. Avoid Negative-Minded Folks
You see people that are full-blown pessimists, avoid them. All they do is complain and always look for negatives in situations to talk about. You will be unfair to yourself if you end up with them.
They would drain the positivity out of you and you would end up miserable. As time goes on, they might start making you feel less of yourself.
Conclusion
Going through these points and how to find the right partner wouldn’t be a puzzle to you anymore. I hope you enjoyed your read. If you do, kindly leave a comment in the comments section. Thank you.
Always visit this blog for engaging reads. Ciao!!
You could also read on: 10 Things You Must Do at the Start of Every Relationship
by Happiness Hassan | Oct 23, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
Marriage is supposed to be a happily ever after union as every couple pictured from the sunset. Unfortunately, they ignore the fact that life is an alternating period of ups and downs. Furthermore, conflict is inevitable in every relationship, especially marriage. Therefore, to avoid walking out of your marriage too soon, you should learn how to handle crisis in marriage. This enables you to see the light at the end of your marriage tunnel when things aren’t going as expected.
Crises in marriage are caused by numerous factors ranging from planning and utilizing family budget, selecting the right school for the kids, invasion of the third party, the individual preference, among others. However, this post will outline the steps on how to handle crises in marriage successfully.
Steps in Settling Crises in Marriage Amicably
Step 1: Identify the Root Cause of the Problem
Before providing solutions, comes clear identification of the root cause of the problem. This step is important because it helps you seek out direct solutions and preventive measures to avoid the recurrence of such crises in the future. Unfortunately, it requires maturity to state the main cause especially when you’re the one at fault. However, you must learn to choose the happiness of your marriage over your selfish pride.
Step 2: To Handle Crises in Marriage, Take Full Responsibility for Your Actions
Irrespective of who is at fault between you and your spouse, there is every need that you take responsibility for your actions. This is because crises occur in marriage when the two parties involved are on two opposite lanes. Hence, everyone thinks they are right. But, for you to learn how to handle a crisis in marriage, you have to be courageous enough to fix the problem instead of running away or transferring blame on your spouse.
Step 3: Engage in a Brief Retreat Period
Approaching your partner immediately after a crisis isn’t a good idea. Similarly, avoiding your partner for a long time isn’t advisable. What then is a retreat period? This is a short period of time in which you stay alone and think through what has happened before taking further decisions. The retreat period is an essential ingredient when learning how to handle crises in marriage.
Its advantages are numerous; it gives you the avenue to recognize and control your emotions – anger, regret, depression, and sadness. It also averts the transfer of negative emotions. Furthermore, it helps you think from an understandable position considering your partner’s views and emotions.
Step 4. Resolve Within You to Approach Your Spouse
Two wrongs don’t make a right. Hence, whenever there is a crisis at home, be courageous and be the first to seek peace. I understand how this stage might be difficult when you aren’t wrong. But then, a settled dispute is better than getting a divorce which has a grievous impact on the kids and between your family and your partner’s. You must realize that divorce always leads to emotional neglect and defaulted psychological coordination in kids.
In addition, avoid assumptions during a crisis. Instead, resolve within you to approach your partner, asking questions on the things you’re unsure about. This is surely one of the ways to handle crisis in marriage.
Step 5. To Amicably Settle Marriage Crises, Reconstruct Your Manner of Approach
The achievement of peace after a marriage crisis is solely influenced by your manners of approach. Meeting the above four criteria isn’t enough to handle the crises. Instead, you must carefully reconstruct how you approach your spouse. Avoid approaching your partner when they aren’t in a good mood, perhaps, tired, hungry, or angry.
Furthermore, you could as well speed up the process by creating a conducive atmosphere. For instance, surprise him/her by performing their supposed duty in the home, preparing their favourite dish, or by giving them gifts.
Step 6. Carefully Select Your Words Before Approaching Your Spouse
In addition to your manners, you need to critically select your words. Your word choice will influence the outcome of your quest for peace. Therefore, you must be able to communicate effectively. Most importantly, avoid those words that portray blame and guilt so also insulting and criticizing words. In contrast, go for words that show you really want a settlement and truly value your spouse. This kind of word enhances the love bond between you and your spouse and safeguards your marriage.
Step 7. Have a Heart-to-heart Discussion With Your Spouse
Having met the above-listed criteria, it’s time you sit and discuss what exactly happened with your partner. Afterward, delegate together the best way to avoid such crises in the future. This stage is divided into 4 units.
Always go straight to the point without beating around the bush. Being direct involves expressing yourself in the best possible way, so your partner can relate to your feelings.
After you have expressed your point of view, allow your partner to express theirs while you listen. It’s disrespectful to interrupt your partner while they express their emotions.
It doesn’t matter if you were right or wrong. All that matters is saving your marriage. Therefore, how to handle crisis in marriage requires you to tender apologies to your spouse. Besides, they may have felt hurt by your actions or words during the cause of the crisis.
Once your partner apologizes without even asking, you should be willing to forgive them and forget. Remember, this is the person you desire to spend your entire life with, so, there isn’t any need for grudges or holding onto past offenses.
Conclusion
In marriage, you certainly need to remain open-minded and willing to forgive even before a crisis arises. If truly you love your spouse, the application of the above steps on how to handle crises in marriage won’t be difficult to inculcate.
Perhaps, you can relate to the above steps. Do share how you were able to handle your marriage crises amicably. Thank you.
You could also read on: You Are Not a Good Parent if You Don’t Avoid These Parenting Mistakes.
by Precious Alex-Toji | Oct 16, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
Have you ever wondered how to build healthy relationships? Are you like me, who after watching “The Sun is Also a Star”, wished for a relationship that was both mutual and healthy?
The good thing is, I found the recipe on how to build a healthy relationship. Being in a relationship can be an exciting experience, especially when it’s at its early stage. Your heart skips and you develop goosebumps at the sound of your partner’s voice. The real test comes when the relationship progresses.
As time goes on, you get to discover what you like and dislike about your partner. Conflicts arise and if this is not handled properly, it can build up to an unhealthy relationship. This article seeks to help you avoid that.
These 10 Tips Can Show You How to Build a Healthy Relationship
1. Being Respectful Can Encourage the Growth of a Healthy Relationship
A relationship where both partners have respect for one another is a recipe for building a healthy relationship. Naturally, it is courtesy to be respectful to people. Just because you’re familiar with your partner does not give you the chance to be rude. This is very obvious during arguments.
Arguments are parts of a relationship you can’t avoid. Dear, it comes with the package. Knowing that arguments are bound to happen can help you maintain decency during such a period. You can have an argument without necessarily fighting.
Watch what you say when you’re angry. Avoid cursing and calling each other names when having a fight. Some words cannot be taken back when said.
2. Listening to Each Other Can Help Build a Healthy Relationship
In this era of social media, trends, and news, it is so odd that so much is being said and little is being heard. While it is true that communication strengthens relationships, sometimes all your partner needs are your listening ears. So, be a good listener.
Your partner’s view may be opposite to yours. As tempting as it may feel to object, the logical action to take is to listen. The bright side of this is, you get to know the thoughts of your partner, while also serving as a safe space for them and preventing arguments.
3. Be Ready to Apologize When You’re at Fault
Being apologetic when you do something wrong helps build healthy relationships. Being able to say “sorry” when you’re wrong is a necessary skill for building a healthy relationship. Apologizing when at fault shows you understand that you’re wrong and you care about how your partner feels. It also helps you both sort out the issue as it occurs without letting negative feelings stay long.
While it may not be your intention to hurt your partner, apologizing shows you care about the relationship. Admitting your fault and taking steps to ensure such an issue does not reoccur builds transparency and trust.
4. Setting Boundaries in Your Relationship Can Build a Healthy Relationship
Boundaries are limits to what you can or cannot condone. Respecting each other’s set boundaries can help build a healthy relationship.
Setting boundaries allows you to connect with your partner without having to let go of your standards. Healthy relationships thrive when partners know and respect each other’s boundaries. For example, when it comes to sexual intimacy, setting boundaries can help your partner know what activities you’re comfortable with.
Learn the habit of setting boundaries as it allows you to grow into a relationship at your own pace and standards.
5. Effective Communication Is the Foundation to Building Healthy Relationships
A fundamental part of building a healthy relationship is learning how to effectively communicate with each other.
Good communication is a skill that requires learning and patience. It goes two ways: Effective Communication and Effective Listening. When good communication is established, you inevitably experience a positive emotional connection with your partner.
Here’s how you can communicate effectively:
- Never assume your partner knows your needs. It is your position to let them know how you feel.
- Make sure your message is clear, easy to understand, and courteous. Sometimes, the issue is not the message but how it is presented.
- Pay attention to your partner’s body language. Are they sad, hyperactive, or tired?
Take into consideration your partner’s emotions when communicating. If you’re not conscious of their emotions, you can unconsciously damage the connection between the both of you. Effective communication surely helps build healthy relationships.
6. Creating Time for Yourself Away from Your Partner
As strange as this might sound, you must create space for yourself outside your relationship.
While spending time with the one you love is essential, it is important that you also have time for yourself. Couples who spend time together without having time for themselves outside the relationship tend to “get used” to each other and eventually lose the craving they had from the onset.
If your partner wants to contact you at all times or expects that you account for all your actions outside of the relationship, this can come off as being too controlling or too dependent.
As a lady, have a fun time with your girls. Go out, have some non-alcoholic drinks, chase your goals. As a guy, play video games with your boys and watch that football match.
Being close with your partner is important. However, it is also important that closeness does not affect your life outside of the relationship.
7. Express Admiration and Appreciation for Each Other
We all love to be admired and appreciated. That little “You look gorgeous today” and “Thank you for this gift” always put a smile on our faces.
In a relationship, it is healthy for both partners to show appreciation to each other. When your partner goes out of the way for you, be inclined to express your thanks. Words like “Thank you”, “I’m grateful” and actions such as buying gifts, flowers, and surprises are ways to express appreciation.
According to research, one of the reasons long-term couples split up was that one of the partners no longer showed enough affection and attention as they used to. Do not get too familiar with your partner. When they look dead gorgeous, say it. Let them know what you think of their looks and bodies.
8. Intimacy in a Relationship Can Foster a Healthy Relationship
Intimacy helps build healthy relationships. The term intimacy has come to be associated with sex. While consensual sex may be part of being intimate, it’s not the only way of being intimate. Intimacy is the feeling of closeness or openness towards someone else, not necessarily involving sexuality.
Intimacy can be likened to the bond between a mother and child. At infancy, a child would always want to be near the mother. Simple things like hugs, touches, and even kisses matters to the child. As we grow up, these tendencies do not end with infancy.
As partners in a relationship, you both must get intimate with each other. When in public, hold hands together. Watch a movie together wrapped in a duvet while it rains. Frequently, dish out words of affection.
9. Resolving Conflicts Together Can Strengthen Your Relationship
Every human interaction is bound to have conflicts and this is perfectly okay. Both of you will have differences and mindsets and this can sometimes lead to conflicts. Rather than avoid conflicts, it is better to resolve them as they occur. Avoiding conflicts can lead to bottled-up feelings, stress, distancing, and inevitably break-up.
Conflicts are good. It strengthens the bond in a relationship because it helps identify the likes and dislikes of both partners. It becomes an issue when it occurs frequently and is left unresolved.
Communication is the best way to resolve conflicts. Remember that effective communication occurs when the message is clear, easy to understand by the receiver.
Talk with your partner to see their perspective of the issue and communicate your perspective too. Take into consideration your emotions and theirs and be patient. Try to reach an agreement that suits both of you.
10. Honesty Between Partners Builds a Healthy Relationship
This cannot be overemphasized enough! No relationship built on lies can survive the test of time.
When you talk to your partner about your day, do not hide details you feel. This would be an issue later on. They should hear it from you than from an outside source.
If something is bothering you, be open to express it with your partner. Sometimes, trying to hide details you feel might be irrelevant. When you do this, you not only hurt your partner but your honesty becomes questioned.
Conclusion
A healthy relationship is such an amazing experience. It, however, requires the effort of both partners involved.
Communication with each other can help build intimacy and connection. In the process of communicating, conflicts will arise. Resolve the conflict gently without flaring up or cursing; nothing good comes out of these anyways.
More so, create time to spend with each other, volunteer together, read together, and listen to music together. Actions like these build connections between partners.
If you have found your knight in shining armor or your Cinderella with her lost shoes, practice these tips on how to build healthy relationships and watch your relationship become #relationshipgoals.
Make some comments below in the comments section if you find this article helpful. Thank you.
by Abu Hafsah | Oct 10, 2021 | Personal Growth, Relationships & Weddings
Perhaps, you have been asked out by someone, proposed to by someone, invited to join a team, or someone is wanting to be friends with you. In life, you can’t escape situations like these. Now, do you wish to know how to turn down someone politely, and probably still be friends? If your answer is positive, then this post is for you.
Let me be your tour guide on how to reject that girl/boy nicely, how to turn down someone politely and how to reject any offer in general, politely.
9 Ways to Turn Down Someone Politely
1. Prepare Yourself to It
As easy as you may see it as do not think of confronting the person in question without actually making a plan on how you want everything to go about. “Failure to plan is planning to fail” phrase cannot be more right.
First, the approach you will use depends on the individual. Therefore, ensure you know the individual well. If you already do, then that’s fine. Now, think of what to say and the gestures you should use while saying it. Please, do not give a long speech, you may begin to sound unserious, childish, or boring if you do.
So, be as brief as possible except in a situation where they keep interrupting, only then should it be long. Even at that, try to break any conversation short – in a nice way the moment you sense it.
2. Be Honest about It
How to turn down someone politely can be achieved successfully if you’re honest about it. There is this special attraction people feel for honest people, even the dishonest ones. Ensure that whatever you say is true and nothing but the truth. Saying things that are false is the wrong way to go about turning down someone. This is because since they already know you, sometimes very well, chances are they will spot a false statement from you.
This will make you look rather unserious. They may even begin to question themselves “What was I even thinking when I decided to profess my love/friendship/marriage proposal to this jerk? He/she doesn’t even worth me”. You wouldn’t what that, would you?
3. Do it Face-to-Face
For me, breaking up or rejecting someone by doing it face to face is the best. It tells or shows them that you have regard for them. This will make it easier for them to accept your rejection.
However, you could send them a sweet text message conveying your intention. A text message like:
“Hello there. Good day and I hope this message meets you in a good mood and sound health. I just texted to let you know I have thought well about your offer for love/marriage/friendship well, and this is the decision I have come up with. There is no better way to say this, but I believe you deserve better – someone way better than me…”
As good as the above message may seem, saying it physically sounds way better than saying it over a text message.
4. Do it Yourself
As tempting as it is to send someone else because you’re not confident, say a member of your family, or friend, do it yourself. Be bold, be confident, and most importantly, be nice while conveying your message.
The benefit of doing it yourself to them is that they see you as a person worth their time and space even though they obviously know you aren’t interested or available. In addition, they will respect you as someone with courtesy and a sense of humour. Moreover, you get to benefit from doing the rejection yourself by them seeing you in whatever nice way they see you.
5. Avoid Giving False Hope
Always put it at the back of your mind that you are doing this because you do not have the time, space, or heart to accommodate them. Stick to that. Therefore, be straightforward.
All your statements and actions should be tailored in that direction and not anything contrary. For instance, they like seeing messages from you, they like to sit close to you always, they like being with you – just the two of you, they like you assisting them in doing some stuff, do not avail them the opportunity of having all of those all the time. Reduce it significantly or do not do it again if you genuinely know you do not want them.
Well, that doesn’t stop you from being nice to them, but not in a way that will send them a wrong signal.
6. Don’t Mention Their Flaws
As you begin to talk, remember, avoid mentioning their flaws. For instance, you are turning down a girl/guy for reason been that they smell terribly bad always, can’t cook, dress badly, are unreligious etcetera. Do not say that to them. Avoid mentioning any attribute about them that is negative. Remember, the aim is to be seen as nice after the show.
However, look for positive attributes and say a little about them. Do not concentrate on that though. For instance, you could say:
“… you are beautiful/handsome, I envy your intellect and I love how honest you are to me by seeing me worthy of being a part of your life…”
This will make you sound nice and good.
7. Be More Focused on Your Needs
We humans have our individual needs as regards whom we want to be friends with, have a relationship with, teamwork with, marry, etc. Here, concentrate more on your needs as a person. For instance, if you are that kind of person who focuses or gives more attention to your carrier and have little or no time for love, you could say:
“I’m grateful and thrilled by your offer and I can’t be happier than I already am by it. However, I’m in a moment where my career is my top priority. I do not mean to sound rude but the truth needs to be told. The time I’m needed most by my carrier is now and I spend a lot of time attending to it. Putting you now in the equation will only worsen my situation because I will be having less time for you, and truly, you deserve better…”
Please, do not mention any of their needs. That could mess up all the things you have said or will say.
8. Don’t Make Them Wait for Long
Sometimes, turning down someone could be scary most especially if you are heavily indebted to that person. The best way to avoid being in that kind of position is by refusing gratitude from anyone except when it becomes highly necessary.
Nevertheless, do not be scared, do not feel ungrateful, and do not hesitate. In other words, do not make them wait for long. Do it the moment you find a suitable opportunity to.
9. Do It at the Right Time
Just because you do not want them and you have prepared for it and gathered the courage to meet them, shouldn’t make you selfish. Endeavour to do it at the appropriate time. For instance, you do not want to turn down someone even if it is politely while they are in a bad mood, or when they are ill, lost a dear one, did badly in an examination or interview, or the likes. I guess no. You will want to reject them while they are somewhere in between being happy and sad.
Timing is very key whenever you want to do something in life, not only turning down someone. So, target the right time.
Conclusion
Nobody wants to be rejected in any way, but because we don’t always get what we want or need, there is bound to be rejection here and there. You may want someone but they may not want you back. That’s life for you. Nonetheless, if you have to turn down someone politely, you could use the above-mentioned ways to accomplish that.
If you find this article helpful, kindly share with us what you think in the comments section. More so, you could also tell us how you got to turn down someone politely as well. Meanwhile, if you tried to get someone to forgive you and they didn’t, try these ways.
by Aisha Zakari | Sep 18, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
There should never be inequality and disrespect in a relationship but rather, your partner should let you be you and do you. In this article, I’ll be running you through things your partner should never ask you to do.
“I love you to the moon and back, I’ll do anything for you”
“I’ll move mountains, heaven, earth and then swim across the ocean, just to do anything for you”
Yes, when we’re in a relationship, it’s only natural you’d want to do all and anything for the person you love but an ideal and great partner is someone who is always supportive, loving, trustworthy, thoughtful, and above all, has your best interest at heart.
10 Things Your Partner Should Never Ask You to Do
1. Give up Something You Love
I know relationships call for sacrifices but not a complete submissive one where it makes you unhappy or does things you don’t want to.
Your partner asking you to give up on something you love means they are asking you to give up on what makes you whole, what gives you peace of mind, what makes you sane, and what makes you happy. This is selfish of your partner as they are not putting your interest at heart and this is non-negotiable.
2. Quit Something You Love
This is something I’ve noticed is mostly done to ladies. You tend to give up your love for a hobby – hair styling, baking, cooking, fashion designing, or law career.
Yes, you love your partner to the moon and back but accepting to quit what you love for them is not proof of your love at all. If your partner is asking you to quit something you love and is not at least compensating you with something greater that is comforting – this should be a NO.
If you’re asked to quit your job which is a pay of 250k monthly and they are willing and able to give you that 250k to do so, now that’s negotiable. This is one of the things your partner should never ask you to do.
3. Put up With Unacceptable Behaviours from Friends and Family
When it comes to things your partner should never ask you to do, this should not even be a topic of discussion and should not be accepted no matter how much you want to move that mountain for them. Let that mountain remain the way it is, don’t move it.
“We want you to stop working”
“I want you to be a full-time housewife”
Their friends and family should accept you for who you are and not be rude to you, or even ask you about things you don’t want to. There should be respect from both parties. Remember, your partner even asking this of you should be telling you he only cares, values, and cherishes his own and that is wrong. Your partner’s love towards you is how their parents will love you – let him love and treat you right.
In general, your partner should not ask you to accept unacceptable/uncomfortable behaviors from friends and family and you definitely should not ask that of him too.
Your partner should not ask you to do things in the bedroom you’re not comfortable with. Take, for instance, you hate doggy style/anal sex or you hate it when he uses objects on you, you talk to him about it. Him asking you to tolerate such should not be a topic of discussion, make it clear that you do not like such.
4. Keeping You Away from Friends and Family
Your partner should never ask this of you but here, there’s room for negotiation which is limiting the time you spend out with friends and family due to the kids, your safety, chores, or your career. Our husbands are our kings and as such we should always respect them.
But when they start asking you to not spend time with your friends and family at all, that’s when you don’t accept. They should know you cherish and love your friends and family and that’s selfish of them to ask such.
5. Coverup for Domestic Violence
First off, speak up if you’re being battered in your own matrimonial home – cry out for help, talk to friends and family. Say NO to abusive and domestic violence.
Your partner should not ask you to lie or cover up a bruise they gave you due to a mistake you made neither should they ask you not to tell your friends and family. There’s no reason or justification for such an act.
Your partner should never lay their hands on you, ever. This is harmful to you, your health, and your kids as you’re subconsciously ruining what marriage should be for them.
6. Change Yourself Completely
Your partner should not ask this of you and you should never accept this. You’re YOU and that’s your superpower.
A partner asking this of you is only abandoning you both emotionally and physically – and you should never feel alone and abandoned in a relationship. It’s a relationship remember, it takes two to work.
Your partner rather should love and accept you for who you are, correct you when you’re in the wrong, support you, and guide you.
7. Do Drugs
Among the things your partner should never ask you to do, this is my second best. Your partner should not tell you to pick up bad habits and you should never accept this in a bid to move a mountain. Picking up bad habits like doing drugs is harmful to you, your health, and the relationship and it is unhealthy.
Such a partner tends to have a controlling edge over you and trust me, you don’t want that. A controlling personality weakens you, your strength and restrains you from having your own free will of thinking. Stand up and say NO to drugs.
8. Agree to/with Everything They Tell You
Saying “Yes love” every time to your partner is unhealthy especially when you’re being compelled to. You should tell them the truth and they should listen and understand if they are wrong and make adjustments too if need be.
You’re entitled to your opinions, options, and saying ‘no’ to something you find wrong. Tell them the truth always, that’s how you move mountains not by lying because you’re trying to please them. Always stand your right – let them hear the truth. This is a thing your partner should not ask you to do.
9. Give up Your Religion
Changing your beliefs, values, and religion just because you’re trying to please someone and showing them you love them should never cross your mind. Never sacrifice that just because they ask you to.
I know people change religions but that is because they want to and that is okay, we respect everyone’s decision without judging them but do not change your religion just because they ask you to.
No, stand for your right and tell them you won’t, but if the thought crosses your mind, let it be that you’re doing that for you and not for them. If that mountain doesn’t want to stay because you said NO, then let it move in another direction.
10. Include Someone into Your Sexual Life
When it comes to things your partner should never ask you to do, this is my top 1. Your partner even asking this should be an eye-opener that they do not value what they have with you neither do they respect your body.
Your partner should not ask you to have a threesome with us friends or your friends or some stranger from the street. You also should not think of accepting this and it is non-negotiable as this is preposterous. If your love and sex life is boring, there are things you could do like see a therapist or start all over again and if it’s not working, there are other people who will move mountains for you.
Conclusion
Your partner should never ask you to be someone else other than your true and original self. Don’t let them pressure you into doing things that make you uncomfortable just because you’re trying to please them – it’s a relationship, lookout for signs of a controlling person before going into it.
Communicate about what they might be doing as some might be doing so without their knowledge but never, do not negotiate your happiness because you want to move that mountain to please them.
I might have missed a thing or two, comment below, and let’s talk about it.
