by Precious Alex-Toji | Apr 11, 2022 | Personal Growth
Knowing how to handle criticisms better is a valuable skill necessary for thriving in the workplace and society at large. We are humans and imperfections are a part of our DNA. We do not have the chance to always be perfect at what we do, hence, those who can see our flaws have the right to criticize and call us to check.
However, if you do not know how to handle criticisms better, you would have issues relating to people around you. Particularly because it is easier for others to see our flaws and give correction and people find it difficult to take or even learn from correction.
Types of Criticisms
Criticisms are opinions, judgments, or values someone has on a person’s work, actions or thoughts. It can be a positive or negative opinion and is usually aimed at pointing out flaws.
There are two types of criticism and you can identify them by how they are delivered- Constructive criticism and destructive criticism.
Constructive criticism is a good type of criticism aimed at pointing out your flaws and showing you how to work on them. Receiving constructive criticism can help you improve better if you work on it.
Destructive criticism, on the other hand, is a type of criticism that has no aim of improving a person. It is done without carefulness or consideration of a person’s feelings. Although it may have some truth in it, it would be difficult to act on it because the criticism comes with so much anger and hurt.
The difference between these two types of criticism is in the delivery. When criticizing someone, do it with understanding. My mum would say, “Correct a person the way you’d love to be corrected”.
Knowing that criticisms can come with so many emotions, here are 7 tips on how to handle criticisms better.
7 Tips on How to Handle Criticisms Better
1. Control Your Emotions When Receiving Criticisms
You are much less likely to learn from your mistakes if you react angrily to every correction you receive. And trust me, you’d receive corrections every day.
The first tip on how to handle criticisms better, is by knowing how to control your emotions. It is natural to want to react when you are being criticized but this method does not prove effective. Instead, it stops you from learning.
The more emotional we are, the more defensive we become.
The best emotion to show is no emotion. When you know you are building a defensive wall around your actions, take a deep breath and pause. It is a simple but effective way to cool down that immediate reaction building up.
If you know you are not in the state of mind to respond appropriately, ask if the conversation can be had another time and give your reasons why politely.
2. Learn to Listen Attentively
Attentive listening involves paying attention to what is being said and giving your speaker nonverbal signs that you understand.
Receiving criticism can be very uncomfortable and our natural technique is to withdraw and act nonchalantly or even dismiss the correction.
Once I was cooking at home when my sister told me not to take a certain action until she told me to. I did not listen because, first, I am older than her and secondly, I had years of experience in cooking compared to her. Let’s just say, when I was done, I wished I had listened to her.
When you’re being criticized, learn to listen objectively. This means, paying attention to the corrections with an open mind without jumping to conclusions immediately. Listening to corrections gives you a view of your actions from another angle different from yours.
As Dale Carnegie said in his book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”-
“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”
Dale Carnegie
3. Focus on the Suggestions and Not the Tone
And we have come to the hard part of criticism – the delivery.
See, I need you to understand this – people are very different. How I would take or interpret your words or actions will be different from how another person would. Again, how your parents will correct you will be different from how your boss in the office would.
Do not think or expect everyone would criticize with a friendly tone.
Some people may have valuable suggestions that can help you improve but their tone and manner of approach may affect how you receive them. In situations like this, pay attention to the message, not the messenger.
Subsequently, you can approach the person and appreciate their feedback while politely letting them know how you felt about their manner of approach.
4. Avoid Taking Criticisms Personal
I don’t know if you’ve noticed but people hate to be corrected and when you correct them, they tend to take it as an attack.
As much as you hate being criticized, you also dish out criticism to others. Shocked?
Alright, check this. Has someone done something or said something and you felt it was wrong and you pointed it out to the person?
How you view criticisms will determine how you handle criticisms better. When you understand that constructive criticisms are meant to point out our mistakes, you’d learn to appreciate them more.
5. Always Ask Questions From the Feedback
A good way of checking how helpful a criticism will be is by asking questions from whoever is giving out the feedback.
Not all criticisms are valuable. Some are given out of a place of anger and hate. These are destructive criticism and they usually have no solutions on how you can work better on them.
A good way to work on criticisms is by asking questions on how best to work on the flaws being identified. Especially when the corrections are coming from people you trust and have a good relationship with.
I was to work on a group project with a few course mates and we planned on working on a presentation. During practice, I was always interjecting my mates and interrupting their speech. A close friend of mine within the group called me aside and told me the negative effect of my actions and gave me tips to work on them.
Subsequently, I had to learn how to let them speak without interrupting them with corrections. Only after their full speech did the group point out where they needed to work on and improve. The presentation was a success!
The purpose of criticism should be so you can improve.
6. Receive Criticism With Humility
One good way of how to handle criticism better is by being open to corrections irrespective of your age, status, or position.
Did I just shake a table?
It is easier to receive criticism from people above us but what happens when the suggestions are coming from those, we consider junior.
You see, the Nigerian “do you know who I am” attitude has blocked us from being open to correction. And, you don’t need to be on the third mainland bridge to exhibit it.
Every time you belittle suggestions from people you feel are inferior to you in age, status, position, or class, you are saying “do you know who I am. Why should I listen to you?” Just as how I refused to listen to my sister when I was cooking.
Be open to corrections from everyone. We do not always know it all.
7. Resist the Urge to Criticize Back
Coined from the popular saying “resist the urge to shalaye”, resisting the urge to criticize back is a better way to handle criticisms.
When you are being corrected and you realize that the flaw isn’t from you but the person criticizing, it is always best to avoid criticizing back, immediately. That would only add fuel to the burning fiery emotions.
Instead, nod in the affirmation that the criticism has been well received and give your feedback later when emotions are not misfiring.
Also, when receiving criticism, that is not a time to also remember the flaws of the person. Responding to criticism with another criticism has proven to be a very bad move.
Conclusion
In this article, I have shared 7 tips on how to handle criticisms better. The real effect is not just in reading but putting these tips to practice.
Criticisms are part of our daily interactions. We can be better at handling them by keeping an open mind, controlling our emotions, and paying attention to suggestions.
What tip do you wish to work on? Let me know by dropping a comment in the comment section. Personally, my favorite part has to be tip 6.
FAQs
What are criticisms?
Criticisms are opinions or judgments we have of the actions, behaviors, or thoughts of others.
Is criticism bad?
There is nothing wrong with receiving criticisms. They help us know our flaws and prove that we can work to be better every day.
How to respond to criticisms?
The best ways to respond to criticisms are by remaining calm, paying attention to what is being said, and asking questions on how to improve.
What are the types of criticisms?
There are two types of criticisms. Constructive criticism is given with the aim of correction and improvement while destructive criticism is done without regard for a person’s feelings.
How do I criticize someone?
When criticizing, understand that the person has feelings too. Give corrections just as how you would love to be corrected. This involves appreciating a person’s effort, giving out the corrections, and ending with an appreciation again.
by Musa Bala | Apr 4, 2022 | Personal Growth
Being kind and helpful is no doubt a good thing, however, people-pleasers are known for doing whatever it takes to make other people happy. They tend to prioritize other people’s needs over theirs. They are sensitive to others and are frequently regarded as agreeable, helpful, and kind. People-pleasers may, however, have difficulty advocating for themselves, which can lead to a harmful pattern of self-sacrifice or self-neglect. This article seeks to tell you the reasons why you need to stop being a people pleaser.
Furthermore, people-pleasing has been linked to a personality trait known as ‘sociotropy’, or being overly concerned with pleasing others and earning their approval in order to maintain relationships.
Why People Develop People-Pleasing Behaviour
People-pleasing behaviour is rarely developed as a result of a single factor, however, a combination of two or more psychological variables has been known to be a trigger.
1. You Are Insecure
People may try to please others because they are concerned that if they do not go out of their way to make others happy, they will not be liked. Prior rejection by other people can lead to feelings of insecurity, which might prompt people-pleasing to gain acceptance from people.
2. You Probably Have Poor Self-Esteem
In other cases, due to a lack of self-confidence, people have a need for external validation. In addition, they may believe that doing things for others will result in approval and acceptance.
3. Past Experiences Forces People to Be People Pleasers
People who have experienced traumatic events in the past as a result of their opinions and choices may try to avoid triggering abusive behaviour in others by pleasing others and being as agreeable as possible.
4. Perfectionism
Sometimes, people just want to have a perfect relationship with everyone around them. They want to be appreciated and loved. In other to achieve that, they tend to do everything to make people around them happy.
People might genuinely want to help others in need, as in the case of altruism. In other cases, people-pleasing is a means of feeling affirmed or appreciated. By making sure that people are happy, they feel as if they are useful and valued—By making people happy, they feel valued.
Why You Need to Stop Being a People-Pleaser
Whereas being a caring person is important in maintaining healthy social relationships. However, it becomes a problem when a person is more concerned about the needs of others at the expense of their emotional well-being.
People-pleasers tend to experience the following emotional conditions:
1. You Will Lack Authenticity When You Become a People-Pleaser
By placing the needs of others over theirs, people-pleasers hide their feelings and opinions. This can lead to a feeling of ingenuity, to an extent, one might not feel alive.
2. You will Always be Angry and Frustrated
Doing things for people out of the mere reason that you want to make them happy often leads to frustration. Anger develops when you understand people are taking advantage of your will to help, this might result to regret, in some cases.
3. You Will Probably Have Anxiety
The constant effort people-pleasers give to make others happy stretches out their strength and resources thin. This leads to mental exhaustion as they are always focused on making people around them happy.
4. Your Willpower Will Be Depleted
Another negative effect of people-pleasing is the reduction in the willpower of people-pleasers to achieve their own goals. Willpower can be a limited resource and utilizing it to make other happy simply means that you don’t get to utilize it towards achieving your goals.
5. You Might Feel Resentful
By putting people’s needs before yours; thereby making them happy, they will appreciate your pleasing nature but might begin to take your kindness for granted. When people start exhibiting such behaviors towards you, you might feel used and to some extent resentful.
Tips on How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser
1. Be Genuine
Always make your own decisions, never let others make them for you. By staying true to yourself, do things because it is right by you and not because it’ll make you look good in people’s eyes. Do not change yourself for others and people will respect you for it.
2. Accept Yourself
When you accept and love who you are, you care more about what you think of yourself than what others think of you. Acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses and using them to your advantage is a means to accepting yourself. When you are confident about who you are, others will accept you as you are.
3. Establish Boundaries
Establish clear and specific boundaries on what you are willing to take on. When it seems like someone is asking too much of you, let them know it is over the bounds of what you are willing to do, no hard feelings. This helps in making sure you don’t place people’s needs over yours.
4. Spend Some Time by Yourself
Whereas isolation could easily lead to some mental issues, spending some time alone helps you to understand yourself and often leads to self-confidence. People are afraid of being alone as they dread being lonely, bored, or anxious.
When you are alone there’s no one to please but yourself. Understanding your thoughts and feelings can also help you find out what makes us happy or unhappy. Being able to know ourselves better can be very helpful in many ways.
5. Know That You Can’t Please Everyone
Another reason why you need to stop being a people pleaser is that you should know you can’t please everyone. This is difficult to take in, but you have to accept that you can’t make everybody happy all the time because people’s needs are different from each other. Acting or doing things a certain way to please one person may offend someone else.
Instead of trying to please everyone, act authentically and do things your way, people who like the real you will appreciate and accept you for who you are.
Conclusion
People-pleasing is not a healthy way of living. It’s important to control your life and know that you are important too. People-pleasing can start to feel like a habit and difficult to break out of. But with time, patience, and perseverance, anything is possible.
If being nice is taking its toll on your mental well-being, please talk to a mental health professional to help prioritize your needs and manage your behaviour.
Mental health professionals you can reach out to include Mentally Aware Nigeria and The Sunshine Series Mind Wellness.
Check: People Will Only Respect You If You Do These 13 Things.
by Michelle Anama Abari | Mar 21, 2022 | Personal Growth
The saying “the eyes are the window of the soul” really says a lot in this article. A lot of people have asked questions on how to read people’s minds through their eyes, the question on this has been so rampant that even doctors and medical degree holders have taken it upon themselves to find ways how to read people’s minds through their eyes, thereby writing books that will make you smarter in this aspect.
It has been noted that knowing how to read people’s minds through their eyes deals with psychology and it entails understanding the human mind. Now the question is… How do we get this special access to the most private of domains – the human minds?
In this article, you will be gaining knowledge on how to learn to read people’s minds through their eyes, some ways include…
Related: 20 Books That Will Help You Read Minds Like a Pro
Ways to Learn to Read People’s Mind through Their Eyes
Even if people don’t want you to know how they feel, they can’t change how their eyes behave. Each movement of the eyeballs and the pupils has a meaning.
They move when you are thinking about something, reminiscing a moment from the past. But the question now is, how do you know which movement means what? So here is a list of ways how you can read someone’s eye movements to know what is on their mind.
1. What Upper Left Eye Movement Means
This occurs when someone is trying to visualize what another person is saying during a conversation. When this eye movement is done, it means that the person is trying to imagine what the other person is saying.
2. What Upper Right Eye Movement Means
This occurs when people are trying to visualize a certain memory they are digging into.
3. What the Left Eye in the Centre Means
This is also known as an auditory construction. This is done when an individual is trying to identify sounds that are not familiar.
4. What the Right Eye in the Centre Means
Also referred to as auditory digging; this occurs when an individual is trying to remember sounds they have heard in the past.
5. What Lowering Of Eyes towards the Left Means
Most at times, this eye movement occurs during an interrogation. This happens when an interrogator asks an individual to remember a certain taste, smell, feeling, event, or even a specific time of an incident.
6. What Lowering Of Eyes towards the Right Side Means
This eye movement to most is termed a happy eye movement. It signifies recalling the past and reliving memorable moments with a smile. Most of us do this without even knowing.
7. What Looking Straight Means
This is the most famous eye movement which everyone is familiar with. You have got to watch the pupils. If dilated, they tend to not be present with you. They are busy thinking, accessing the information on something else. More like what happened in the past. Most people just give this eye movement the catchphrase “staring into oblivion”. The bottom line is that the person’s mind is not on your present conversation or activity.
Furthermore, a professor of psychology at Georgia Gwinnett College whose name is David Ludden, Ph.D. says, and I quote
“We tend to look directly at an object we are attending to since doing so casts its image into the center of our visual field, where we see things most clearly. Psychologists call this overt attention because when we look at an object, others around us know what we are paying attention to. Yet we also can pay attention to objects outside the center of our visual field. Psychologists call this covert attention because it appears that we are looking at one thing while paying attention to something else…”
I believe what he is saying here is that “attention” plays a very central role in mind reading through the eyes. What you center your attention on, whether an image or whatever, your eyes will always tell what is on your mind.
Other Eye Gestures to know what is on a Person’s Mind
Of course, there are other eye gestures and cues to know what is on a person’s mind. There are even baselines to knowing when a person is lying and they include:
1. Watch Their Blink Rate
If they start to blink fast or are slower in blinking, it raises an alarm.
2. Eyebrow Movement
This entails a question, are they eyebrow expressive? Or did they just start at that particular moment of interrogation?
3. Watch Their Eye Direction
As I have written earlier about the 7 eye directions, a person may be looking, left, right, center, up, or down. Any change in this will tell you the person is thinking otherwise or thinking of something else.
Use of Eye Gestures to Know what’s on a Person’s Mind
Once you have established a person’s baseline, then you can move on to the eye gestures and cues of a human being. Some of these eye gestures include:
1. The Eyebrow Flash
This eye gesture signifies happiness or pleasure. Babies who are a few months old do this whenever they see their mothers. When we flash or raise both eyebrows for a split second, it means we are pleased about something. This eye gesture is also seen as a greeting which everyone does especially black men abroad.
Cool kids also use this when they are trying to greet their friends or someone they are familiar with.
2. Winking
This is seen as a way of easing tension during a conversation. Sometimes this is done as a signal for something depending on the situation.
Everyone has been winked at and it is alright to wink at someone, especially if you are comfortable with that person.
3. Single Eyebrow Raise
This eye gesture means surprise or even a questioning look, like being skeptical.
But when you throw in a lovely welcoming smile, it means you are interested.
4. Raising Eyebrows
If both eyebrows are suddenly raised, this can mean someone is surprised, such as when receiving good news. However, it can also mean that someone is worried. This is different because here, the eyebrows stay longer.
Most of the time there are questions like “why do people raise their eyebrows while talking?” The answer to that question is that when people are trying to make a point or argue they often try to raise their eyebrows. This is also a way of saying you are listening.
5. Prolonged Eye Contact
When people see that they are being starred at for a long period they tend to believe they are being liked. The truth is that making eye contact, even if it is just 30% of the time, shows that it increases people’s remembrance capabilities.
Conclusion
There are a lot of eye gestures and books on mind reading which depict what is going on in their minds. Eye gestures help signify a lot that is going on in the human mind.
Knowing how to read people’s minds through their eyes, depends on if you know that person and their eye movement, but if you don’t, I believe this article, I am sure has been of great help.
Reading people’s minds through their eyes is not a talent but a skill that can be learned and it entails knowing when someone is lying, likes you, or knowing their self-confidence level. Understand the human mind and emotions and you are on your way to knowing how to read people’s minds through their eyes.
FAQs
How can you read people’s eyes through their mind?
Whenever there is a movement in someone’s eyes then that raises some questions. Movements like eyes moving to the left, right, center, or whatever can help you read a person’s mind.
Can you tell what someone is thinking by their eyes?
The eyes can reveal much more complex phenomena: they can convey whether we are lying or telling the truth. So yes, you can tell what someone is thinking from their eyes.
Can the eyes communicate?
Eye contact is nonverbal communication that humans use to communicate many forms of emotions. So yes, the eyes do communicate, fear, anger amongst other things.
Do eyes speak?
The eyes tell us everything. It tells us a lot about a person’s thoughts, emotions, and even their level of interest in us as a romantic partner.
What can you tell from a person’s eyes?
The shape of a person’s eyes conveys clues to personality traits. Most times, people refer to this as the reflection of the mind.
by Munirah Hashim | Jan 31, 2022 | Personal Growth
It is one of your greatest desires to be productive and achieve a lot of your set goals. However strong this desire is, you wouldn’t achieve more unless you learn how to stop saying yes to everything.
Last year, I took an interest in researching the concept of saying no. I realized that saying NO is not a bad thing. This is in opposition to what we learn while growing up. We saw saying yes to every request as being respectful even when we are not happy. What we fail to understand is that not saying yes to everything, allows us to say yes genuinely to things that truly matter.
When you say yes to something you don’t want to do, here is the result; you hate what you are doing, you resent the person who asked you to do the act and you hurt yourself.
James Altucher, author of ‘The power of No’
Reasons Why You Say YES to Everything
1. You Fear Losing Someone’s Affection
This is the most likely reason you say yes to everything. You withdraw from people when they say no to your requests. As such, you also feel saying no to other people’s requests means losing their affection and you fear that.
2. You Don’t Want to Be Perceived As a Bad Person
You have an orientation that those who say no are bad people and you do want to be one.
3. You Are a People Pleaser
You feel responsible for how people feel. Hence, you desire to ensure people are happy even at the expense of your happiness.
4. You Lack Clarity
When you lack clarity on what to do and how to utilize your time, you would be always available to any request; the more reason why you should learn how to stop saying yes to everything.
5. Desire to Fit In
In this case, you are struggling with low self-esteem. You measure your worth by people’s opinion so saying ‘No’ is considered a big deal just to get accepted. You will need to know how to overcome low self-esteem.
Let’s have a short scenario to buttress my points:
Munirah planned her day the night before. She woke up in the morning with enough energy to see through achieving her goals scheduled for the day. She was on her first task when her friend called her. The following conversation ensued:
“Munirah, please I would love you to accompany me to go shopping.” Her friend requested.
“Okay.” was Munirah’s response with no hesitation.
Munirah suspended her task and accompanied her friend. The shopping consumed hours. When Munirah arrived home, she was tired and it was time to prepare dinner. She looked at her to-do list and said, “It’s sad I couldn’t achieve these goals. I hope I don’t get any requests tomorrow just so I can achieve these goals.
What has Munirah done?
Munirah said yes to her friend at the expense of her goals. What she never realized was that the shopping can be done some other time. Her company might not be necessary. She can ask her friend to reschedule the shopping to enable her to plan for it.
Her expression, in the end, shows that she found it hard to say No. She doesn’t want to be called a selfish person. Also, she wants to please her friend and she didn’t place her goals as her priority. She needs to learn to say no.
I don’t advise you to be like Munirah.
I Have Got 5 Amazing Tips On How to Stop Saying Yes to Everything
1. Know Thyself
To stop saying yes to everything, you should have a clear understanding of yourself. Get to know things that you can do and things you hate doing. in addition, have a good grasp of times where you are most productive and make those times for yourself.
A reasonable level of self-awareness helps you to make the right choices. In addition, it enables you to say yes or no to requests confidently as the case may be.
2. Have Clear Boundaries
Some people perceive having boundaries to be a bad idea. However, having boundaries enables you to build healthy relationships and practice self-care. If your boundaries are clear and well communicated, you would hardly have any reason to doubt saying ‘Yes’ or ‘No’. Hence, you always give genuine responses.
For example, if Munirah knows that she is most productive in the morning, she can easily communicate why she wouldn’t accompany her friend. Her friend would have probably been reasonable enough to respect the decision.
3. Explain Your Decision
Sometimes, dealing with loved ones makes saying ‘No’ difficult. That doesn’t mean you should say ‘Yes’ to every request they present. In such situations, you should explain why your response is negative.
‘I’m currently busy with an important task. If my company is important for the shopping, then I can plan for it tomorrow.’
This is a reasonable explanation that Munirah should have given to her friend.
4. State Your Condition
When someone requests something from you, do not be afraid to state your conditions. This is especially important if accepting the request means placing too much pressure on you. You should stop saying ‘Yes’ to things that place unnecessary pressure on you.
For example, as a seamstress, a client requests that you sew her dress nicely but urgently. Meanwhile, you know that you work best when you take your time. It’s best to state your condition like this:
You want a good job and I also want to give you the best. However, you can get what you desire if you could come back in two days.
This is a simple condition. It’s left to the client to decide. Here, you have said ‘Yes’ to doing a good job and ‘No’ to putting undue pressure on yourself.
5. Be Courteous
Encouraging you to stop saying yes to everything doesn’t in any way mean being rude about it. You should say no in a courteous manner. I don’t need to remind you that your tone matters a lot in communication.
Be kind even when your response to them is not positive.
Conclusion
Above, I stated 5 tips on how to stop saying yes to everything and every request that comes your way. These ways include knowing thyself, having clear boundaries, explaining, stating your condition, and being courteous.
Additionally, you should say yes to things that make you a better person and no to things that bring otherwise.
Do you find these tips helpful? Do share your thoughts in the comment section.
by Abu Hafsah | Dec 20, 2021 | Personal Growth
Nowadays, respect is something that has become scarce in our society. One tends to lose respect in the eyes of people around him/her without even realizing so. Well, some make deliberate efforts to lose respect in the eyes of people due to their nonchalant attitudes. And some, on the other hand, lose it because they fail to understand the core values and attitude that needs to be inculcated to help keep his/her respect in the sight of people. If you are by any chance worrying about how to get people to respect you, then worry no more as I have to your aid.
Treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. Respect is earned, not given.
Hussein Nishah
It is important to note that to have people respect you, you have to earn it and not demand it. Demanding for it only brings about more hatred on you by the people you are asking that from. Below are some of the ways or attributes that one needs to have to be respected by people around him/her and even far away.
13 Ways to Get People to Respect You
1. Be Yourself
Being oneself entails one to be in their most natural, sincere, comfortable, and ingenious state of mind. I will advise that you should always try to be yourself around people wherever you find yourself. As tempting as it may be to be what you are not because you do not want to feel inferior among people or in a crowd, do not.
The repercussion of not being yourself is that there will surely come a time that people will find out the real you no matter how good an actor you are. Of course, you know what that means to your integrity. However, if you have an attitude generally not acceptable in society or the people around you, quit it. For instance, theft lies, and the likes are habits that one shouldn’t be associated with.
So, if you want to be respected by people, always be yourself.
2. Be Independent
One of the fastest and surest ways of getting people to respect you is by being independent, most especially being financially independent. If you want to lose your respect in the eyes of people within a short period of time, be financially dependent.
Therefore, do not beg people to survive. Be able to fend for your needs and that of your family without asking anyone, if not, people, even your family will see you as a liability and do not even want to see you close to them or associate themselves with you.
This is where hard work comes into play. You can’t skip this hurdle if you are lazy. Find something to do to earn a living no matter how little it is and give in your all to it, then wait for God’s blessing as His blessings cover and surround everything.
3. Respect People Too
Respect is a two-way street, if you want to get it, you’ve got to give it.
R.G. Risch
If want to get people to respect you, respect them too – it is should be a two-way thing. Do not look down on anyone simply because you are wealthier than they are, educated, privileged, and the likes. Respect people regardless of their status. Everyone feels good and honoured when you show them respect. This will make them reciprocate that gesture by respecting you too.
4. Always Mind Your Business
Looking for how to get people to respect you? Do not meddle in peoples’ affairs. Stop interfering in matters that do not concern you. As such, do not gossip, backbite, blackmail, and eavesdrop on and about people. Also, asking people married couples who haven’t had a child the reason why they haven’t is not minding your business, so also asking someone why he/she is lean. These are matters that do not concern you. You will just end up opening their old wounds.
Remember, you have lots of things to worry or care about regarding yourself. Why don’t just focus on them and try to see ways you can be better as a person?
5. Care for Your Friends and Family
This is the unwavering and unconditional support you give to your friends and family. In other words, it means going above and beyond to care for them out of genuine concern for their health, happiness, and wellbeing and not out of obligation.
Always know that people have eyes and can see. They will surely respect you for that, not only them but people around who notice.
6. Empower People
Do you want people to respect you? It’s simple, just empower them. Empower them in any way that you can. Do not just concentrate on yourself, your family, and your friends. No. Go out there and seek people who need your help and make their lives better. Be the reason that made them not give up in life. Make their lives meaningful.
You don’t only empower people when you give them money, No. As a matter of fact, there are different ways to empower a person.
Take, for instance, you have the opportunity to help someone get a job, then make it happen without asking for a penny in return; you have the opportunity to smoosh someone to help another get assistance – say a promotion or get selected in a programme that means so much to them, then do it. This will surely earn you respect in the eyes of the people.
6. Acknowledge and Respect People’s Opinions and Feelings
Respect other people’s feelings. It might mean nothing to you, but it could mean everything to them.
Roy T. Bennett
We are all humans but different in a number of ways and of course, have different ways of seeing things. You may choose to see Tuwon Masara as a delicious delicacy for instance, but I see it as trash! Sometimes, we may agree on certain things or issues.
In other to earn the respect of people, learn to respect their opinion. Try and see things from their own perspective as that will help you acknowledge and respect whatever it is they have to say or do.
We don’t need to share the same opinions as others, but we need to be respectful.
Taylor Swift
7. You Want to Know How to Get People to Respect You? Dress Modestly
As the saying goes,
Dress the way you want to be addressed.
Modesty entails you dressing in a way that appeals to the majority of the people around you or the place you live in or where you are going. In the northern part of Nigeria for instance, modesty is something that is very common as people hardly dress half-naked. You can’t be respected if you live in environments like that and not dress in that way.
In addition, nobody takes you seriously if you are not modestly dressed. For instance, you can’t be having a hairstyle like the head of a rooster and expect people you meet for the first time to respect you. As a matter of fact, the first attribute they will associate you with is irresponsibility.
8. Say ‘No’ to Social Vices
Knowledge will give you power, but character will give you respect.
Bruce Lee
Social vices are bad traits or behaviours such as drug addiction, illicit sex, evil or immoral behaviours such as examination malpractice, murder, thuggery, and other criminal tendencies. Whatever status or respect you have, even if it is as high as a mountain, engaging in social vices can bring it down in no time.
If unfortunately, you happen to be a perpetrator of such acts, now is the right time for you to stop associating yourself with them; there is no better time than now. Nonetheless, if you haven’t, do not embrace it. You have clearly seen how some people have gone insane as a result of drug abuse, or got pregnant out of wedlock, or were expelled from school as a result of examination malpractice.
So, if you want to be respected by people, say no to social vices and do not perpetuate them in whatever form.
9. Be Educated Enough
There is something about an educated person that tends to attract people and gain respect from them without even trying. Of course, as an educated person, the way you talk, listen, reason, think, analyze, walk, and the likes is different your counterpart’s. All these positive attributes about you are what people are looking for to respect you.
On this note, I urge you to be educated. Get up and dust that lazy ass of yours and seek knowledge.
10. Be Trustworthy
Being trustworthy is when one is deserving of trust and confidence and is also dependable and reliable. As a matter of fact, this is something almost gone missing amongst many people nowadays as against what we have a few decades back.
Be someone who people can rely on when your testimony is needed anywhere, any time; be someone who when money or a valuable item is given to, will be available as it is without damage or misplacement or theft; also, be someone who people can entrust anything to and be rest assured.
All these trustworthy attributes should be seen in you to attract respect from people.
11. Settle Down
Settling down is one of the fastest ways of attracting respect from people, most especially in this part of the country that we are – Northern Nigeria. It is not surprising that it does because of the sense of responsibility that you have for your partner or kids. You tend to be a more responsible person compared to when you were single.
So if you want to attract respect from people, quickly tie the knot with someone – someone deserving though.
12. Always be Courteous
You are said to be courteous when your good manners show friendliness and concern for others. Be willing to hold the door for people entering a building with you; be willing to speak politely to a person below you in terms of social status and literacy; also, be willing to help the aged lift or move stuff even without being asked to – this is actually one of the signs you were raised by Nigerian parents.
In addition, courteous behaviour is a reminder of the value of good manners. So if you want to be respected by people, try the habit of courteousness.
13. Give In Your All to Make Money
I saved the best for the last – make money. How to get people to respect you? Try hard to get something doing to fetch you money legally. It could be hobbies that bring in good money or a side hustle while working full time. I know you are smiling now. People naturally have the proclivity to respect people who spend like they don’t care.
With money, you can buy respect I tell you. Furthermore, people will listen and obey you way more than they will for people in authority most especially when you have the giving hands. With money, you can even have your in-laws bow before you.
That’s the power of money!
Conclusion
Being respected is something every normal person wants to be attributed to. It gives you that sense of importance in the eyes of your friends, family, spouse, children, community, and society at large. On the other hand, lacking the respect attribute makes you less important in society.
How to get people to respect you is an easy goal if you attribute yourself to the above-mentioned ways.
If you find this article worthwhile, kindly leave a comment in the comments section.
The next step after getting respect is to make a good impression on people.
