by Mazhun Idris | Nov 13, 2021 | Opinion
Interfaith is a social concept that aims to create harmony and inspire cooperation across different religions. Its chief goal is transforming religious communities united by harmonious relations and the common good. Syncretism is the assimilation of different religions or religionists into a fused whole or a synthetic cause devoid of mutual theological rancour.
The two concepts are united in the pursuit and utilization of contact, dialogue, and engagement. Although the former priorities the entrenchment of multi-religious harmony, the latter goes deeper into cultivating shared spirituality. Whichever one works best for a community is a holy game for their vested interests.
Today, however, there’s a huge dichotomous reality between theory and practice of interfaith relations across different cultures or spiritual polities. Take the Nigerian Yoruba people who apparently have a seamless homegrown interfaith culture right from the family level.
It’s variously agreed that such socio-religious hegemon was responsible for the eventual rise of the hybrid religion called “Chrislam”, a bi-syncretic of Christianity and Islam, which stormed the Nigerian nation in the 1980s. Yoruba Muslims are also credited with the invention of “Assalatu”, the weekly Sunday Islamic service fashioned after Sunday church service, complete with rituals of praise, dance, and choir performances. Yoruba Christian clergy have also allegedly embraced the way of the Muslim marabout, courtesy of close interfaith relations with Muslim mystics.
The general call and practice of religious synthesis is a global phenomenon, which enjoys growing support over the decades. Especially with the rise of the menace of religious intolerance and mass religious-inspired violence. While interfaith missions and organizations continuously remain a force for good, what many promoters of interfaith cooperation seem to confuse is the elimination of difference or dissent as both necessary and sufficient for the prevention of conflicts. Nay, it’s a millennium-old philosophical truth that conflict is part of human life, and it’s never inherently bad. What is squarely avoidable in a peace-loving community is violent conflict.
Another hardwired criticism of interfaith culture is the subverting politics of proselytization by another means or a hidden agenda towards such political gains by one religion over the others. In Nigeria, none of the two major Abrahamic religions is innocent of that missionary desire or attempt to achieve hegemony and undue advantage, that’ll result in winning converts.
For instance, a popular and highly successful Christian missionary project in northern Nigeria, known as “Bazata” allegedly aimed at proselytizing the Muslim populace, is suspected by Muslim leaders to be the ultimate agenda of Christian-led interfaith engagements in the region. Similarly, the initiative of “comparative religions” loved by Muslim interfaith preachers is rightly suspected as an avenue to attract Christian proselytes to Islam.
In the leftist liberal United States today, some interfaith organizations have gone beyond the fusion of religious calls, into a full-fledged pro LGBT propaganda machine. Before you wonder what brought gender and sexuality into a faith affair, know that interfaith cultures around the world had since been eroded by an unrealistic sentimental project towards unified spirituality, to the detriment of any manifestation of distinct diversity in religiosity.
Many interfaith fora only promote dialogue around topics that unite and highlight well-known or cosmetically invented similarities. Interfaith goers indulge in a spiritual rapport that zealously eschews any shade of difference and open disagreement. They fervently sustain a platform for the regular display of professed affectionate togetherness, comforting oneness, and extinguished sense of diversity amongst faith actors. Such engagements strive to remove any spike of dissent, promoting an embellishment of weekly pretended cordial dates built on illusory love. Experts on conflict resolution will tell you that a true dialogue platform should encourage sincere truth-filled deliberations, not self-deceitful mutual funfair.
Good interfaith dialogue framework remains a veritable element of the policy of peacebuilding, violence prevention, and nation-building. Positive results have come out from many local and international initiatives. They are a good catalyst to conciliation and peacemaking projects. But the moment such engagement became established, what should naturally be next on the agenda is truth-telling and dialogue around a thorny social issue, and doctrinal differences, whose honest understanding will foster mutual respect and safe accommodation of individual sensitivities.
This led us to “Multi-faith” as a better term for honest interreligious dialogue and pluralistic cooperation. Better still, we have the universally relevant concept of “Religious freedom”, which seeks to establish shared liberty and religious harmony by preventing inequality, persecution, and religious violence. Religious freedom comes as a true manifestation of the universally found golden rule of “do unto others what you wish for yourself”. It encourages accepting the God-given right of humans to follow their conscience without duress or hindrance! Here, it’s not about choosing between “conflict and compromise” as a precondition for living together.
All parties voluntarily agree to accept the natural order of people’s intellect-based freewill and the right to be wrong and bear the consequence. Religious freedom as a social avenue for reconciliation and peacebuilding bears a more realistic prospect for achieving unity in diversity, far more than the feel-good mirage of interfaith culture.
PS: lest I appear to be against interfaith culture, I currently chair a state-level interfaith committee for advancing religious tolerance in Kano state, under a project by SFCG.
by Aisha Zakari | Sep 18, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
There should never be inequality and disrespect in a relationship but rather, your partner should let you be you and do you. In this article, I’ll be running you through things your partner should never ask you to do.
“I love you to the moon and back, I’ll do anything for you”
“I’ll move mountains, heaven, earth and then swim across the ocean, just to do anything for you”
Yes, when we’re in a relationship, it’s only natural you’d want to do all and anything for the person you love but an ideal and great partner is someone who is always supportive, loving, trustworthy, thoughtful, and above all, has your best interest at heart.
10 Things Your Partner Should Never Ask You to Do
1. Give up Something You Love
I know relationships call for sacrifices but not a complete submissive one where it makes you unhappy or does things you don’t want to.
Your partner asking you to give up on something you love means they are asking you to give up on what makes you whole, what gives you peace of mind, what makes you sane, and what makes you happy. This is selfish of your partner as they are not putting your interest at heart and this is non-negotiable.
2. Quit Something You Love
This is something I’ve noticed is mostly done to ladies. You tend to give up your love for a hobby – hair styling, baking, cooking, fashion designing, or law career.
Yes, you love your partner to the moon and back but accepting to quit what you love for them is not proof of your love at all. If your partner is asking you to quit something you love and is not at least compensating you with something greater that is comforting – this should be a NO.
If you’re asked to quit your job which is a pay of 250k monthly and they are willing and able to give you that 250k to do so, now that’s negotiable. This is one of the things your partner should never ask you to do.
3. Put up With Unacceptable Behaviours from Friends and Family
When it comes to things your partner should never ask you to do, this should not even be a topic of discussion and should not be accepted no matter how much you want to move that mountain for them. Let that mountain remain the way it is, don’t move it.
“We want you to stop working”
“I want you to be a full-time housewife”
Their friends and family should accept you for who you are and not be rude to you, or even ask you about things you don’t want to. There should be respect from both parties. Remember, your partner even asking this of you should be telling you he only cares, values, and cherishes his own and that is wrong. Your partner’s love towards you is how their parents will love you – let him love and treat you right.
In general, your partner should not ask you to accept unacceptable/uncomfortable behaviors from friends and family and you definitely should not ask that of him too.
Your partner should not ask you to do things in the bedroom you’re not comfortable with. Take, for instance, you hate doggy style/anal sex or you hate it when he uses objects on you, you talk to him about it. Him asking you to tolerate such should not be a topic of discussion, make it clear that you do not like such.
4. Keeping You Away from Friends and Family
Your partner should never ask this of you but here, there’s room for negotiation which is limiting the time you spend out with friends and family due to the kids, your safety, chores, or your career. Our husbands are our kings and as such we should always respect them.
But when they start asking you to not spend time with your friends and family at all, that’s when you don’t accept. They should know you cherish and love your friends and family and that’s selfish of them to ask such.
5. Coverup for Domestic Violence
First off, speak up if you’re being battered in your own matrimonial home – cry out for help, talk to friends and family. Say NO to abusive and domestic violence.
Your partner should not ask you to lie or cover up a bruise they gave you due to a mistake you made neither should they ask you not to tell your friends and family. There’s no reason or justification for such an act.
Your partner should never lay their hands on you, ever. This is harmful to you, your health, and your kids as you’re subconsciously ruining what marriage should be for them.
6. Change Yourself Completely
Your partner should not ask this of you and you should never accept this. You’re YOU and that’s your superpower.
A partner asking this of you is only abandoning you both emotionally and physically – and you should never feel alone and abandoned in a relationship. It’s a relationship remember, it takes two to work.
Your partner rather should love and accept you for who you are, correct you when you’re in the wrong, support you, and guide you.
7. Do Drugs
Among the things your partner should never ask you to do, this is my second best. Your partner should not tell you to pick up bad habits and you should never accept this in a bid to move a mountain. Picking up bad habits like doing drugs is harmful to you, your health, and the relationship and it is unhealthy.
Such a partner tends to have a controlling edge over you and trust me, you don’t want that. A controlling personality weakens you, your strength and restrains you from having your own free will of thinking. Stand up and say NO to drugs.
8. Agree to/with Everything They Tell You
Saying “Yes love” every time to your partner is unhealthy especially when you’re being compelled to. You should tell them the truth and they should listen and understand if they are wrong and make adjustments too if need be.
You’re entitled to your opinions, options, and saying ‘no’ to something you find wrong. Tell them the truth always, that’s how you move mountains not by lying because you’re trying to please them. Always stand your right – let them hear the truth. This is a thing your partner should not ask you to do.
9. Give up Your Religion
Changing your beliefs, values, and religion just because you’re trying to please someone and showing them you love them should never cross your mind. Never sacrifice that just because they ask you to.
I know people change religions but that is because they want to and that is okay, we respect everyone’s decision without judging them but do not change your religion just because they ask you to.
No, stand for your right and tell them you won’t, but if the thought crosses your mind, let it be that you’re doing that for you and not for them. If that mountain doesn’t want to stay because you said NO, then let it move in another direction.
10. Include Someone into Your Sexual Life
When it comes to things your partner should never ask you to do, this is my top 1. Your partner even asking this should be an eye-opener that they do not value what they have with you neither do they respect your body.
Your partner should not ask you to have a threesome with us friends or your friends or some stranger from the street. You also should not think of accepting this and it is non-negotiable as this is preposterous. If your love and sex life is boring, there are things you could do like see a therapist or start all over again and if it’s not working, there are other people who will move mountains for you.
Conclusion
Your partner should never ask you to be someone else other than your true and original self. Don’t let them pressure you into doing things that make you uncomfortable just because you’re trying to please them – it’s a relationship, lookout for signs of a controlling person before going into it.
Communicate about what they might be doing as some might be doing so without their knowledge but never, do not negotiate your happiness because you want to move that mountain to please them.
I might have missed a thing or two, comment below, and let’s talk about it.
