by Amina Lawal | Feb 5, 2022 | Relationships & Weddings
So many of us spend a good chunk of our lives looking for “the one”, but what happens when we find someone? How do we know if they are the person who is right to spend the rest of our lives with? Or even if starting a relationship with them is the right choice? This article seeks to give you signs you are not compatible with your partner.
While compatibility is no guarantee of longevity, studies show that it is directly related to the quality and satisfaction of our relationships. Simply put, the more compatible you are with your partner, the happier you are likely to be with them.
Everyone has their ideas about what qualities and traits their dream partner should have, but rarely do we ever find someone who’s a perfect match. Instead, we learn to compromise where we can and grow to love people despite their flaws and imperfections. However, it can be hard to differentiate normal differences from incompatibility.
So, if you are wondering whether or not you and your partner are incompatible, worry no more. Here are some tips:
7 Signs That Show You Are Not Compatible With Your Partner
1) You Are Not Compatible When You Don’t Understand Each Other
Right from the get-go, this can tell you a great deal about how good of a match you and your partner make. If you have a hard time understanding how they are feeling, what they are thinking, or what they need, then they might not be the one for you and vice-versa.
It is better to be with someone you can be in sync with – someone who picks up and understands your nonverbal cues and discerns the tone of your voice, and ‘gets’ what you try to tell them. Otherwise, miscommunication and misunderstanding can pile up in your relationship.
2. When You Two Are Polar (Different)
While it’s technically true that opposites do attract, every solid healthy couple should share at least a few similarities with their partner. This doesn’t mean having to like all the same music or movies that they do or even sharing the same hobbies as them. It can even be refreshing to be in a relationship with someone radically different from yourself.
Sadly, though the excitement won’t last forever if the similarities are too scarce or non-existent. Once the “new and shiny effect” wears off, you are both left with someone who doesn’t share the same humour, interest, value, ideals, or principles, making it difficult to relate to one another in any meaningful way. This is one of the signs you are not compatible with your partner.
3. When You Try to Change Each Other and Not Grow and Learn Together
The hallmark of a strong and healthy relationship is having a partner who gives you the drive and motivation to change for the better. That’s the whole point. It must be something you want for yourself, your idea, not theirs alone. Despite your partner expressing irritation or dissatisfaction with you, it is generally ineffective and not sustainable, if you are forcing change on yourself solely because they want it and you don’t. You have to want it for yourself and this goes for many things, whether it’s the way you speak, dress, or who you hang out with; only you have the right to decide who you want to be.
If you don’t feel comfortable showing your true colours to your significant other, even in a private setting, this is a definite red flag and a sign of incompatibility.
4. When You Are Constantly Having Arguments
It’s perfectly normal and healthy to disagree with your partner about something from time to time, especially if it’s over something important to the two of you. We didn’t choose this person so we can be with a clone of ourselves. Disagreements become a problem, however when the arguing is constant and over even the tiniest of things. Even unhealthier if the fighting is dirty- shouting, name-calling, humiliating each other, holding grudges, and emotional blackmail.
Being in a relationship with a partner who tends to bring out mostly the ugliest side of you is never good.
5. You Are Not Compatible When You Don’t Have Different Opinions on Everything
It’s all about moderation. While constant fighting is not ideal, it’s also not good for a couple to never disagree about anything. You need to be honest and communicate openly with one another about how you feel even if it is not in agreement with the other person. Constantly pretending everything is “ok” or “blind agreements” to the wants of the other person, does not make the relationship stronger and may result in catastrophe and blow up later. Conflict can be a positive one-building event if it can be given and taken constructively, which in turn, can lead to personal group and a deeper mutual understanding. This is a considerable sign that you’re not compatible with your partner.
This is surely one of the signs you are not compatible with your partner.
6. Your Socializing Is Isolated From Everyone Else
Do you find that when you and your partner go out, it is nearly always only with each other; no friends, no parties, or group hang out? Do you never spend time with their friends? Have you ever met their friends? Is their family still a group of mystery people you never met? You’ve never been introduced to even though you have been together for a while? If you answered yes to any of these, this could be a potential problem. You must spend time with your partner’s loved ones and get to know them better. Couples who make the effort to be close with other important people in their partner’s lives tend to have longer and happier relationships.
7. You Are Not Attracted to Them Is a Sign That You’re Not Compatible With Your Partner
Lastly and most importantly, one of the signs you are not compatible with your partner is when you are not attracted to them. Even if everything seems okay on paper if you don’t have any romance or chemistry, it’s simply not going to work. Without even an inkling of these factors, you might have a best friend but not necessarily a significant other. The result is that you will naturally be drawn to people you have that ‘more than friend’ attraction to. If you have not even an ounce of attraction, this is a definite sign that you and your partner are not compatible.
Conclusion
In the end, there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. Everyone has doubts or disagreements at times with the person they love. A strong healthy relationship takes ongoing effort, dedication, and also time for it to grow.
What is important is finding that someone who to you is worth that effort, dedication, and time. First impressions and initial choices do not seal your fate. A lot of people stay in incompatible relationships because they’ve been conditioned to believe breaking up with someone is wrong, or just insensitive, but the reality is, relationships don’t work out and that’s okay. It’s now up to you to know and recognize compatibility versus incompatibility. It will save you much heartbreak and possibly avoid more serious scarring.
Don’t ignore the red flags and get stuck in an entanglement. So take your time to evaluate your relationship with these key points in mind and honestly ask yourself “Is my partner right for me?” Tell me in the comment section, if you’ve noticed any of these signs in your relationship.
You could also read on: If You Notice These Signs, You Are Not Compatible with Your Partner.
by Precious Alex-Toji | Jan 22, 2022 | Relationships & Weddings
Setting boundaries in relationships is crucial in maintaining a healthy social rapport with others. In the world today, we’re constantly interacting with people, physically or digitally. It is vital that you set boundaries in your relationship as it helps regulate the behaviour of others towards you.
Boundaries are like limits. Think of it as a house with a fence around it. You can have neighbours around you but your fence limits the extent to which strangers can trespass on your property. It safeguards you from intruders whilst maintaining your safe space.
Due to our interactive nature as humans, we find ourselves in different forms of relationships. In the working environment, we establish professional relationships with our colleagues. With our partners, we engage in romantic relationships. However, whatever form of relationship you’re in, setting boundaries in such a relationship is the key to sustaining its longevity.
Let’s get right into the importance of setting boundaries in a relationship.
5 Reasons Why Setting Boundaries in a Relationship is Important
1. Build Healthy Relationships
A popular misconception about setting boundaries is that it keeps people apart. Wrong! On the other hand, setting boundaries keep toxicity out of your relationships.
I had a friend who was always using my things without returning or replacing them appropriately. I like meticulousness. Unable to condone my things always getting missing, I demanded that if he would not return my things, he could as well forget about using them. Within months, he was conscious of returning my things appropriately and on time.
When you set limits to what you can and cannot condone in a relationship, you are building the foundation for a healthy relationship. As long as you do not communicate what is right and wrong for you, you’d have to put up with people constantly trespassing on your boundaries, leading to constant arguments and unhealthy relationships.
2. Encourages Respect
Mutual respect for one another is one benefit of setting boundaries in a relationship.
Respect is built when partners understand what they should and shouldn’t do and adhere to these clearly stated boundaries. Most relationships collapse because people do not clearly state what they like or dislike, leaving them open to all forms of manipulation and exploitation.
During my first year in the university, I was naive to the strict traditions of my northern peers. Once I attempted to hold a female friend of mine, she immediately rebuked my action, politely. She explained that while holding hands may be normal to others, she was conscious of physical touch with her male friends. This was a personal boundary she had set, which if she hadn’t communicated clearly to me, I would have broken in the future. My respect for her surged like an electrical current.
When your partner keeps breaking the limits you set in your relationship, it simply means they lack respect for you and your principles. Respectful partners are those who understand each other’s boundaries and work together in preserving them.
3. Boundaries Build Responsibility
Setting boundaries in your relationship help cultivate a sense of responsibility to each other.
Boundaries stipulate what we are comfortable with and what makes us uncomfortable. When you and your partner set what behaviour is acceptable and what is not in your relationship, you are both shaping each other’s responsibility in making the relationship work.
Say your partner is a very busy person, a banker maybe. You know calling or chatting at midnight is a “no-no” because they’d most probably be resting. If you do pester them with calls or texts at midnight, it only speaks of how irresponsible you are.
Responsibility stems from the knowledge of the boundaries set in the relationship. If your partner knows your boundaries, it is their responsibility to not ‘cross the line’ and the same goes for you. A relationship without boundaries is prone to all sorts of irresponsibility.
4. Improves Self-Awareness
Outlining your boundaries in a relationship is one way of improving your self-awareness.
Considering that boundaries are your do’s and don’ts, it takes an awareness of who one is to be able to set clear-cut boundaries. Also, it helps regulate how people behave around you and increases your self-esteem.
Recently, I visited a friend of mine who lived off-campus. Entering his room, I noticed a list of do’s and don’ts on the wall and it got me curious. Being so inquisitive, I read through the list and I was amazed. One instruction read “do not press the toothpaste from the middle”. This way, I understood what my host could condone and what he wouldn’t.
Setting limits requires you to be aware of what is the right behaviour for you/with you. It enables you to be conscious of who you are and what you stand for. It establishes you as a person of principle and increases your self-esteem.
5. Boundaries Build Trust
If you don’t have a partner you can trust, then your relationship needs some retrospection.
As partners in a relationship, understanding each other’s boundaries fosters trust. This is because you’re both aware of what behaviour you both term acceptable and what is not. Therefore, you can both trust each other to behave in a way that aligns with your boundaries.
If your partner does not like their things used without permission, you can trust that they won’t condone stealing. If your partner knows you like being prompt on date nights, you can trust them to be early for you.
A partner who continuously breaks boundaries is not worthy of trust. These are potential red flags that must not be overlooked before or during a relationship.
Conclusion
You are the boundaries you set.
Remember that boundaries are a set of actions or behaviours that you condone with limits. Like the house with a fence, your boundaries protect you from being manipulated and hurt.
You might find yourself with few friends but those who stick with you are those whose boundaries you respect and who respect yours too. Before you further any relationship, ensure you set boundaries that are communicated and understood.
You could also read on: What Ladies Actually Look for in a Guy (No. 4 is a Must)
by Precious Alex-Toji | Jan 8, 2022 | Relationships & Weddings
It was a cold Tuesday evening and I was having a chitchat with my sister. One thing led to another and we began to talk about some of the things girls look for in a guy.
At the end of our discussion, it dawned on me that many guys have a notion of what they need to do to attract a girl but do not have the faintest idea about the things girls look for in a guy.
To begin with, most women have specs and standards. My crush liked tall light-skinned guys and I automatically did not make that list. However, if you’re working out to impress your crush and you’ve tried all you can but it’s not working, this piece is for you.
After discussing with my sister, I decided to take the question to my female friends, and boy, I have a lot of things to share with you guys!
So let’s get down to business and find out things girls look for in a guy.
Things Girls Look for in a Guy
1. Your Appearance
This point cannot be stressed enough. I mean, out of the responses I got, girls seem to be very particular about a guy’s appearance. It is the first thing they notice about us, guys!
Appearance refers to how presentable you are. As the saying goes, dress the way you want to be addressed. The first impression a girl gets from a guy is his appearance.
To be clear, you do not need to be all suit and tie, James Bond 007, to make a good impression. The idea is, whatever you’re wearing should be neat and presentable.
Your personal hygiene also falls under this category. It’s not just okay to look nice, you also have to smell like you look. You can’t be looking all prepped up and smell like you need a bath.
How you appear says a whole lot about you. If you do not care about your appearance, it probably means you do not care about a lot of things too.
On a lighter note, I have a personal beef with guys who have beards and leave it unkempt. Do you know the treasures you have on your face that you are not making use of?
Overall, your appearance is one thing girls look for in a guy. A girl wants to be proud of her man, rather than embarrassed.
2. Girls Love Smart Guys
If there is anything that attracts girls to a guy, it how smart a guy is. Fun fact, all the girls I asked described smart guys as sexy. Girls are easily attracted to smart guys because it is one thing girls look for in a guy.
Smart guys are well aware of the happenings around their environment. They are very good conversationalists and can lighten up a girl’s mood with their wittiness. How do girls know if a guy is smart?
A few of the girls described a smart guy as one who’s sound academically. A smart guy can speak fluently and contribute intellectually to discussions and arguments.
A smart guy is also good at building conversations. If a girl is heavily attracted to you, she would want to talk about a lot of things with you. If you cannot contribute to making the conversation mutual, you’re slowly losing your grip.
Once I got tired of greeting my women “good morning” and I decided to greet them in a different language for one full week. It helped me learn about the cultures of these languages and I was able to strike a conversation with a girl on the Japanese anime culture. She used the word “scholar” to refer me to her fellow anime disciples.
3. A Girl Looks For Confidence in a Man
Oh, dear! You need to see the girls emphasize this attribute a lot.
One of the things I look for in a guy is how confident he is. I want a man who behaves like a man. I want a man who knows what he is capable of and can act when is needed.
To be clear, a confident man is not an arrogant, 6ft, muscular, bearded man who is always ready to start a fight in a restaurant at 6 pm. That right there is the opposite of a confident man.
A confident man is a man who knows his abilities, can be assertive, and understand Ms when to take action. Girls want guys who can stand in public and defend them. A man who knows how to take decisions seriously and fix things when they go wrong.
Might I also add, that being a gentleman is an added plus? Little things like walking her to the door, texting her to make sure she’s home safe, speaks of healthy masculinity.
4. Sense of Humour
This is a very special trait in a man. Nobody likes boring people. A little bit of humour can never be harmful in conversations.
Having a good sense of humour is one thing girls look for in a guy. You do not have to be a stand-up comedian to be attractive to a girl. Girls can easily detect how funny you are through your conversations.
Here’s the deal. The moment you make a girl laugh, you are very much getting her attention and laying the foundation for a possible relationship.
For me, it has always been a registered trademark – I tell the most boring jokes that make people laugh, ironically. In fact, my friends call me, Alex The Boring because my jokes make you stop, think and then, laugh.
I’m like Dwayne Johnson in Jungle Cruise where he said:
“Alright, listen up. I get paid by the number of people I take out, not by the number of people I bring back.”
Know this and know peace. Girls find funny guys very attractive. Next time you’re having a conversation, add a little bit of humour or wittiness to your speech. It always works.
5. A Respected Man
As a guy, the kind of company you keep says a lot about you. It is only natural that the people around you are people who respect you and you respect in return.
When one of the girls brought up the issue of respect, I believed that the amount of respect a man receives is tied to his net worth. However, the girls believed that 9 out of 10, are more concerned about how well-behaved a guy is.
A mannered and cultured guy is one thing girls look for in a guy. Your character says a lot about you as a guy and it’s one of the ways to make a respectable impression of yourself.
A well-behaved man naturally attracts respect. It’s simple logic – treat people how you wish to be treated. How you treat others determines how they’d treat you. If you respect others, you’d be respected.
Red flags such as the use of slur words, negative aggression, and nonchalant attitude are a few barriers to building a respectable reputation. As a guy, knowing how to control your emotions makes you inevitably attractive.
Conclusion
As a sharp guy and your one and only relationship hack plug, it hit me that most guys do not really have an idea what girls look for in a guy.
Some of the things girls look for in a guy include appearance- it’s the first impression she’s getting of you, how well versed are you in speaking, and your ability to build conversations. And finally, I can’t stress this enough, have a good sense of humour. Don’t be a boring dude.
The ladies who wish to add to the list can let me know by commenting in the comments section. As for the guys, let me know about your experience using my relationship hack tips.
by Abu Hafsah | Dec 20, 2021 | Personal Growth
Nowadays, respect is something that has become scarce in our society. One tends to lose respect in the eyes of people around him/her without even realizing so. Well, some make deliberate efforts to lose respect in the eyes of people due to their nonchalant attitudes. And some, on the other hand, lose it because they fail to understand the core values and attitude that needs to be inculcated to help keep his/her respect in the sight of people. If you are by any chance worrying about how to get people to respect you, then worry no more as I have to your aid.
Treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. Respect is earned, not given.
Hussein Nishah
It is important to note that to have people respect you, you have to earn it and not demand it. Demanding for it only brings about more hatred on you by the people you are asking that from. Below are some of the ways or attributes that one needs to have to be respected by people around him/her and even far away.
13 Ways to Get People to Respect You
1. Be Yourself
Being oneself entails one to be in their most natural, sincere, comfortable, and ingenious state of mind. I will advise that you should always try to be yourself around people wherever you find yourself. As tempting as it may be to be what you are not because you do not want to feel inferior among people or in a crowd, do not.
The repercussion of not being yourself is that there will surely come a time that people will find out the real you no matter how good an actor you are. Of course, you know what that means to your integrity. However, if you have an attitude generally not acceptable in society or the people around you, quit it. For instance, theft lies, and the likes are habits that one shouldn’t be associated with.
So, if you want to be respected by people, always be yourself.
2. Be Independent
One of the fastest and surest ways of getting people to respect you is by being independent, most especially being financially independent. If you want to lose your respect in the eyes of people within a short period of time, be financially dependent.
Therefore, do not beg people to survive. Be able to fend for your needs and that of your family without asking anyone, if not, people, even your family will see you as a liability and do not even want to see you close to them or associate themselves with you.
This is where hard work comes into play. You can’t skip this hurdle if you are lazy. Find something to do to earn a living no matter how little it is and give in your all to it, then wait for God’s blessing as His blessings cover and surround everything.
3. Respect People Too
Respect is a two-way street, if you want to get it, you’ve got to give it.
R.G. Risch
If want to get people to respect you, respect them too – it is should be a two-way thing. Do not look down on anyone simply because you are wealthier than they are, educated, privileged, and the likes. Respect people regardless of their status. Everyone feels good and honoured when you show them respect. This will make them reciprocate that gesture by respecting you too.
4. Always Mind Your Business
Looking for how to get people to respect you? Do not meddle in peoples’ affairs. Stop interfering in matters that do not concern you. As such, do not gossip, backbite, blackmail, and eavesdrop on and about people. Also, asking people married couples who haven’t had a child the reason why they haven’t is not minding your business, so also asking someone why he/she is lean. These are matters that do not concern you. You will just end up opening their old wounds.
Remember, you have lots of things to worry or care about regarding yourself. Why don’t just focus on them and try to see ways you can be better as a person?
5. Care for Your Friends and Family
This is the unwavering and unconditional support you give to your friends and family. In other words, it means going above and beyond to care for them out of genuine concern for their health, happiness, and wellbeing and not out of obligation.
Always know that people have eyes and can see. They will surely respect you for that, not only them but people around who notice.
6. Empower People
Do you want people to respect you? It’s simple, just empower them. Empower them in any way that you can. Do not just concentrate on yourself, your family, and your friends. No. Go out there and seek people who need your help and make their lives better. Be the reason that made them not give up in life. Make their lives meaningful.
You don’t only empower people when you give them money, No. As a matter of fact, there are different ways to empower a person.
Take, for instance, you have the opportunity to help someone get a job, then make it happen without asking for a penny in return; you have the opportunity to smoosh someone to help another get assistance – say a promotion or get selected in a programme that means so much to them, then do it. This will surely earn you respect in the eyes of the people.
6. Acknowledge and Respect People’s Opinions and Feelings
Respect other people’s feelings. It might mean nothing to you, but it could mean everything to them.
Roy T. Bennett
We are all humans but different in a number of ways and of course, have different ways of seeing things. You may choose to see Tuwon Masara as a delicious delicacy for instance, but I see it as trash! Sometimes, we may agree on certain things or issues.
In other to earn the respect of people, learn to respect their opinion. Try and see things from their own perspective as that will help you acknowledge and respect whatever it is they have to say or do.
We don’t need to share the same opinions as others, but we need to be respectful.
Taylor Swift
7. You Want to Know How to Get People to Respect You? Dress Modestly
As the saying goes,
Dress the way you want to be addressed.
Modesty entails you dressing in a way that appeals to the majority of the people around you or the place you live in or where you are going. In the northern part of Nigeria for instance, modesty is something that is very common as people hardly dress half-naked. You can’t be respected if you live in environments like that and not dress in that way.
In addition, nobody takes you seriously if you are not modestly dressed. For instance, you can’t be having a hairstyle like the head of a rooster and expect people you meet for the first time to respect you. As a matter of fact, the first attribute they will associate you with is irresponsibility.
8. Say ‘No’ to Social Vices
Knowledge will give you power, but character will give you respect.
Bruce Lee
Social vices are bad traits or behaviours such as drug addiction, illicit sex, evil or immoral behaviours such as examination malpractice, murder, thuggery, and other criminal tendencies. Whatever status or respect you have, even if it is as high as a mountain, engaging in social vices can bring it down in no time.
If unfortunately, you happen to be a perpetrator of such acts, now is the right time for you to stop associating yourself with them; there is no better time than now. Nonetheless, if you haven’t, do not embrace it. You have clearly seen how some people have gone insane as a result of drug abuse, or got pregnant out of wedlock, or were expelled from school as a result of examination malpractice.
So, if you want to be respected by people, say no to social vices and do not perpetuate them in whatever form.
9. Be Educated Enough
There is something about an educated person that tends to attract people and gain respect from them without even trying. Of course, as an educated person, the way you talk, listen, reason, think, analyze, walk, and the likes is different your counterpart’s. All these positive attributes about you are what people are looking for to respect you.
On this note, I urge you to be educated. Get up and dust that lazy ass of yours and seek knowledge.
10. Be Trustworthy
Being trustworthy is when one is deserving of trust and confidence and is also dependable and reliable. As a matter of fact, this is something almost gone missing amongst many people nowadays as against what we have a few decades back.
Be someone who people can rely on when your testimony is needed anywhere, any time; be someone who when money or a valuable item is given to, will be available as it is without damage or misplacement or theft; also, be someone who people can entrust anything to and be rest assured.
All these trustworthy attributes should be seen in you to attract respect from people.
11. Settle Down
Settling down is one of the fastest ways of attracting respect from people, most especially in this part of the country that we are – Northern Nigeria. It is not surprising that it does because of the sense of responsibility that you have for your partner or kids. You tend to be a more responsible person compared to when you were single.
So if you want to attract respect from people, quickly tie the knot with someone – someone deserving though.
12. Always be Courteous
You are said to be courteous when your good manners show friendliness and concern for others. Be willing to hold the door for people entering a building with you; be willing to speak politely to a person below you in terms of social status and literacy; also, be willing to help the aged lift or move stuff even without being asked to – this is actually one of the signs you were raised by Nigerian parents.
In addition, courteous behaviour is a reminder of the value of good manners. So if you want to be respected by people, try the habit of courteousness.
13. Give In Your All to Make Money
I saved the best for the last – make money. How to get people to respect you? Try hard to get something doing to fetch you money legally. It could be hobbies that bring in good money or a side hustle while working full time. I know you are smiling now. People naturally have the proclivity to respect people who spend like they don’t care.
With money, you can buy respect I tell you. Furthermore, people will listen and obey you way more than they will for people in authority most especially when you have the giving hands. With money, you can even have your in-laws bow before you.
That’s the power of money!
Conclusion
Being respected is something every normal person wants to be attributed to. It gives you that sense of importance in the eyes of your friends, family, spouse, children, community, and society at large. On the other hand, lacking the respect attribute makes you less important in society.
How to get people to respect you is an easy goal if you attribute yourself to the above-mentioned ways.
If you find this article worthwhile, kindly leave a comment in the comments section.
The next step after getting respect is to make a good impression on people.
by Ajibike Maryam Olaitan | Nov 14, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
Choosing a life partner is not as easy as going to the market to get foodstuffs. It is as hard as it gets. You need to ask yourself if you are ready to look beyond his or her flaws if you are ready to not just think about yourself if you are ready to spend the rest of your life with him or her, when things are smooth or not. Selecting a partner for life is one of the most critical decisions you have to make but it can be easy by following the right steps. Below is a list of factors to consider when choosing a life partner:
12 Factors to Consider When Choosing a Life Partner
1. Family Background
Before deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone, it is imperative to know the persons’ family background and traditions that might exist, the persons’ family language, system, and behaviour. It is also important to know the person’s relationship with his or her family members as knowing this will enable you to know how the person will relate with your family members.
2. Know If They Have Any Health Issue(s)
Before choosing a life partner, you need to know the health background of the person in order to know the health issues the person might have. You need to know the persons’ genotype, blood group, and other health-related issues. This would help you decide whether to continue or let go.
3. Make Sure They Are Hardworking
Nobody wants a lazy partner. We all want someone who is hardworking in all aspects; females should be able to take care of the house and also the children, while the men should be strong enough to be able to fend for the family needs. Therefore, it is important to know if the person is lazy or hardworking.
4. Choose Someone You Can Rely On
You need to choose someone who you can rely on at all times. Someone you can trust to catch you when you fall.
5. They Should Have the Ability to Forgive
Another factor to consider when choosing a life partner is their ability to forgive. Everyone makes mistakes and the ability to look past the mistakes makes your relationship strong. No relationship is without quarrels, because we were not all brought up the same way, which makes us have different opinions. Choosing a partner who knows how to say “I forgive you” and mean it is very important.
Related: How to Get Someone to Forgive You
6. They Should Be of Good Character
In choosing a partner, their character is one of the most important factors to look into. This is because their character is what defines a person. It is the replica or the mirror that reflects the persons’ worth. You automatically know how a person would turn out in the next 10 years, by the character they portray.
7. Check Out Their Level of Maturity
Age is not an indication of maturity. Actually, it is nothing but a number like it is often said. Someone who is mature physically, emotionally, and intellectually must know how to handle issues without bringing a third party into the relationship.
8. Ascertain Whether They Have A Sense of Humour
You need to choose a partner who knows how to make you laugh after a very annoying day at work, someone who knows how to change your sour mood, by bringing up funny conversations.
9. Sexual Attraction
In my own opinion, choosing a partner who doesn’t believe that sex in a marriage is important, means that there would be an unfulfilled desire in the marriage. You must choose a partner you are sexually attracted to and also someone who is sexually attracted to you. Trust me, there must be an absolute desire to satisfy each others’ sexual needs in order not to feel cheated.
10. Choose Someone Who Likes You
Love is not the only factor in a relationship; friendship is also a factor you need to consider. When you are at that point in your life when you have to choose a partner, you need to choose someone who likes you for the imperfect being you are. You also need to choose someone you like and can tolerate.
11. There Should Be Mutual Respect Between You Two
You obviously do not want to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t acknowledge and respect you. You need to choose a partner who would respect you at all times and also acknowledge your decisions, goals, and dreams.
12. God Fearing
One of the most important factors to consider when choosing a life partner is, choosing someone who loves God. This is important because only then can the person love you too.
Conclusion
I am sure that at some point we have all said to ourselves “she is the one or he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with”, but then, we get disappointed along the road. Disappointments spring up because we don’t try to get to know the person we want to be with, we just fall in love and think that is enough to sustain a relationship. Finding that one person, choosing a life partner is a full-time job, it is not a school course you pick and just drop because it is hard. No, it is a decision you make to stay put no matter how hard it gets, a ‘together for worse, for richer or poorer, till death do you part’ decision, and trust me, you don’t want to be wrong.
The list is unending, you don’t just make use of the above factors, which is why I need you to add your factors to consider when choosing a life partner in the comment section below. Thank you.
