by Amina Abubakar Hussaini | Jun 8, 2022 | Health & Wellness
Kayan Mata translates as “women’s property.” This category, Kayan Mata Hausa encompasses all of the products used by women. However, aphrodisiacs are more commonly referred to by this term.
Aphrodisiacs are substances that arouse or are thought to arouse sexual desire (such as food or drug). A wide range of herbs and food including fruits have been related to the term Kayan Mata.
It is also noted sometimes to include incense, which triggers sexual urges among couples. Other triggers include aphrodisiac foods and drinks.
Origin of Kayan Mata
The word “Kayan” directly translates to the ‘property of…’, and “Mata” means ‘women’ in the Hausa language which is the dominant language of the northerners. This term originates from the northern part of Nigeria dating as long as time.
Originally, northern women have traditionally utilized Kayan Mata to prepare a bride who would be able to meet not just her husband’s domestic requirements, but also his sexual cravings.
It was designed specifically for married women who wished to spice up their libido. However, modern-day Kayan Mata now encompasses a large number of individuals and has spread far beyond Northern Nigeria’s borders.
Types of Kayan Mata
There is a wide range of Kayan Mata Hausa which comes in the form of tablets, syrup, drinks, perfumes, and dishes. And these can all be categorized based on their uses.
1. Kayan Mata for Vagina Tightening
This includes various types of herbs that facilitate making the vagina tight for sexual pleasure. Herbs used in this category may include lalle (henna plant), bagaruwa (Acacia), and also cloves. These are mostly boiled, and used for sitz baths, or used to wash the vagina.
It is also believed to also help treat various vaginal infections such as yeast infections when used periodically after a woman’s menstrual flow.
2. Kayan Mata for Libido-Boosting
In this category, these herbs are used to treat erectile dysfunction. Here, the Goron Tula fruit also known as the silky kola is used where it can either be chewed or its juice extracted and boiled with other herbs to help treat the problem.
Also, gindin ayu, which is derived from the genital of the fish known as Ayu, is mostly found in places like Maiduguri. This is used to make one’s partner remain faithful as he gets maximum satisfaction. The fish remains glued to its partner’s genitals and even separated, does not desire another. This is replicated with men and women who use it as they exhibit traits of the Ayu faithfulness.
3. Kaya Mata for Favour and Attraction
This Kayan Mata Hausa is one of the most controversial of these aphrodisiacs, as it is believed to be laced with spiritual powers. Prayers are done and mixed with the components used for this type, to gain favour from one’s partner.
Causes of the Rise of Aphrodisiacs Sale
One cannot categorically state the reason for the sudden rise of aphrodisiacs sale in Arewa, but it can be identified, with these:
1. Social Exposure
The mingling of the north to the outer world can be associated with the rise of aphrodisiac sales in the north; to be more precise, interaction, and association with individuals, either on the internet, or person to person. This gives room for the knowledge of the existence of Kaya Mata to be widely spread.
2. High Market Demand
Well, if more individuals get introduced to Kayan Mata Hausa, there would be an increase in the market for these products – a factor that is a likely cause for the rise. The demand becomes higher hence, the increase in the production and competition for the sale of Kayan Mata Hausa.
3. Its Affordability
Most Kayan Mata Hausa produced in Arewa is fairly cheap. For example, ingredients used to make tsumi are very much available and affordable to the general public thus, become a moving factor for the increase in the rise of aphrodisiac sales in Arewa.
4. Sexual Exposure
Let us dive into the most crucial reason for the increase of the rise of aphrodisiac sales in Arewa. Sex is a leading factor in the reason why there is a high demand for Kayan Mata Hausa products. Individuals of various ages ranging from adolescence are the main consumers of these products at an alarming rate.
Side Effect of Kayan Mata
Though these aphrodisiacs have been largely proved to be medicinal, and have been able to help with sexual enhancement, it is like every other thing, with a side effect. This mainly arises because there are no systematic and scientific procedures for manufacturing it and also because its dosage can be abused.
Components of herbs used do not undergo any testing to prove their compatibility with other herbs combined which are used to produce these products. Some of its side effects may include:
1. Kidney Failure and Liver Damage
Due to the rise of aphrodisiacs sales in Arewa, vendors sell adulterated products to unsuspecting customers, who have no idea of the concoctions sold to them. Such herbs can cause liver damage and kidney failure as they can contain toxic materials.
A study published in the medical journal of Australia has shown that these herbs contain toxic metals that interfere with having a healthy liver.
2. Drug Interactions
One of the side effects of Kayan Mata Hausa is that it is a herb that would interact with many medicines. Drug Interactions sometimes can stop the drug from working and other times, it would enhance the medications depending on the properties used.
Therefore, it is advisable to avoid the usage for pregnant women.
3. Withdrawal Syndrome
This is a medical condition that is brought about when there is a discontinuation of a certain type of medication. This may mean that when Kayan Mata Hausa herb is meant to increase libido. It is very possible to return to having a very low sexual drive.
4. Mental and Spiritual Interference
Aside from the use of Kayan Mata Hausa herbs, the controversial favor and attraction are attributed to the spiritual properties of these certain products.
It is thus capable of leading to mental and spiritual interference when the user is not religious or spiritually sound. It could also lead to several occurrences of mental breakdown.
5. It Could Lead to Contamination
A major concern for the production of Kayan Mata is hygiene and bacterias presence which may be pathogenic and nonpathogenic. It is advisable to wash fruits or herbs specifically used to produce these aphrodisiacs to avoid contamination.
Popular Vendors and Market for Kayan Mata
As the rise of aphrodisiacs sales in northern Nigeria continues to hit the market’s supply demands, a lot of vendors have risen to the challenge of sourcing these materials. This makes it making final products to be distributed within and across the nation.
A popular vendor known for her favor and attraction Kayan Mata Hausa and also for the discovery of the various use of Goron Tula is Hauwa Saidu Muhammad also known as Jaruma who runs the Jaruma Empire.
She has successfully hit market-wide a wide range of this Kayan Mata Hausa and has recorded huge success.
Conclusion
There has been a vast rise in the sale of aphrodisiacs in northern Nigeria. this might be due to the high demands for this product across the nation, thus making these herbs which were neglected over time to be in demand.
For example, the Goron Tula fruit also known as silky kola indigenous to the Tula tribe in Gombe state has become very expensive as there is a higher demand for it.
by Lois Samari | Apr 29, 2022 | Personal Life
Growing up, I missed out on a lot of things and wished I knew more. Among all those, there are things I wish I knew about sex education. Now that I know better, I’d love to share these things so you can learn and make more informed decisions.
Sex education is surprisingly not what most people think it is. Before we go into what it is not, let’s start with what it is.
Meaning of Sex Education
Sex Education is teaching and learning about a broad variety of topics related to sex, sexuality, and bodily developments that help people understand how to have healthy relationships.
Having this clear definition, we can see how misguided most of our ideologies on sex education are.
Misconceptions of Sex Education
1. Sex Education Is Bad for Children and Teens
The word ‘sex’ is taboo to some people. Not to mention saying it around children. Some people think sex education for children is ‘spoiling’ them or ‘teaching them bad things. On the contrary, how sex education is taught is what determines how it is understood. People of all ages must be taught about sex and body development.
2. The ‘Don’t Do It’ Rule
It is known that then the only aspect of sex education some people think is necessary is to simply say ‘don’t do it. Unfortunately, some parents say this when giving “the talk” to their children. This is an incomplete message. There is more to sex education than that.
3. If You Don’t Know About It, You Won’t Do It
“Sex education makes people want to have sex”
says the people with wrong notions about it. On the contrary, teaching people all they need to know about sex saves them from making wrong decisions.
After realising how many more false ideas surrounding the topic of sex education, I start learning more about it.
Things I Wish I Knew About Sex Education
1. Sex Education Isn’t Bad
Far from it even. Proper orientation on the body’s development, sex and sexual acts, the do’s and don’ts, and the ‘what’ and ‘why’ are crucial. They aid in making a lot of decisions regarding friendships and relationships.
2. It Doesn’t Encourage Sexual Acts
When you learn about the dangers of unprotected sex, the first idea you have isn’t to jump out and want to have sex with just anybody. You make decisions a bit more carefully.
3. It Helps Make Better Relationship Decisions
The older we get, the more relationship and marriage become front-line news for us. The excisions we make about the people we choose to be with are largely dependent on what we’ve known since we were little. If sex education is available to teach the right things, then we are more likely to good partner choices.
4. It Helps Us Know What to Do in Situations of Abuse
We would never wish it on anyone, but unfortunately, a lot of people fall victim to sexual abuse. In such situations, many don’t know the right cause of action to take. Out of fear (from poor or lack of good sex education) they suffer in silence.
5. It Helps to Know and Set Boundaries
Many children and teens get molested and can’t complain because they don’t understand what the molesters are even doing something wrong. They end up learning to keep shut about it because that’s what the abusers teach them. If they knew better, if they were taught better, they’d speak up. Not just in children, but also adult relationships with abusive partners. People undergo abuse because they can’t understand where the boundaries lie with their bodies and their decisions. Even in relationships and marriages, it is possible to say no to your partner and expect them to respect your decision. If they hit you, run. These are some of the weighty matters that sex education covers.
6. STDs and the Different Types of Sex
It is common knowledge that STDs are gotten from sex with infected persons. But we only think of penetrative sex in this light. Au contraire, oral sex can also introduce STDs into the body but a lot of people don’t know this. They assume ‘since it’s not penetrative sex, I’ll be all right. Asides from STDs, females are especially prone to contracting infections of other kinds from hand-to-genital contact or the use of sex toys that aren’t properly cleaned or frequently shared.
7. Sex Education Covers a Lot More Than Just Sex
An essential for adolescents, sex education involves learning about the body (the sexual reproductive organs especially), and how to take care of them. Because the make-up of the body is explained, it is easier for them to know when there are abnormalities and talk to an adult about it. Females are also able to know about mensuration and caring for the body during that time.
8. Sex Education Allows Us to Appreciate Our Bodies and Their Diversities
Most of us had insecurities about how we perceived our bodies. We needed to understand that our bodies were different and grow differently (as in the cases of early and late bloomers).
How to Correct Sex Education Misconceptions
1. Adequate Training for Seaver’s and Sex Educators
Organisations and bodies that handle sexual-related issues should educate facilitators that can teach the masses sex education in different languages, manners of approach, and with different materials. Teachers, similarly, need this orientation. They’re some of the closest contact children and young adults have with a lot of information.
Social media outlets should also be actively involved in inducing such changes. It’s a much quicker way to read out to a higher number of people simultaneously.
2. Re-Orientation
A general re-orientation is important for all age groups. Sex education ought to be tailored to each age group for better understanding. It begins from children to teens, young adults, and even the older generation. Everyone is a crucial tool in making these changes.
Conclusion
The earlier we start with proper sex education, the better it is for us as a nation. Shying away from the subject only leads to more people making poor sex-related decisions and increasing the number of health-related issues.
FAQs
What should you learn in sex education?
Sex education comprises several topics that are necessary for a well-rounded understanding of sex, sexual health, and everything that relates to it. When learning sex education, it should include bodily developments (reproduction, puberty, etc.), relationships and their boundaries (family, sexual/romantic relationships, friendships), and sexual behaviours (abstinence and sexuality).
Should sex education be taught to children?
Definitely, sex education should be taught to anyone old enough to comprehend basic human communication. Sex education for children does not have to be as elaborate as it is with adults. Most of what children should be taught include:
- boundaries that adults are to have when it comes to their bodies
- how to communicate if they have been molested in any way
- What should and shouldn’t be done to their bodies
Amongst other things.
I’ve already been having sex for a while now. Do I still need sex education?
No matter your sexual status, sex education is important. This is because some of our orientations were founded on misconceptions about sex and relationships. We may need to unlearn many of those concepts so we can enjoy better relationships. Also because we need to be better informed to teach the younger generation the proper things.
Why is sex education important?
Knowledge of sex and everything that relates to it is extremely important. It helps people make better choices about their sex lives and relationships generally. More properly informed people would mean less spread of STIs, abortions, and abandoned children and a healthier nation at large.
What is the best way to teach sex education?
Sex education should be taught as a comprehensive subject. It should include an understanding of the body’s development, sex and its types, STIs, HIV, and sex abuse in all its forms. No part should be left out for better understanding.
If you ever thought to yourself, “there are things I wish I knew about sex education”, kindly share them with us in the comments section below.
by Amina Lawal | Feb 5, 2022 | Relationships & Weddings
So many of us spend a good chunk of our lives looking for “the one”, but what happens when we find someone? How do we know if they are the person who is right to spend the rest of our lives with? Or even if starting a relationship with them is the right choice? This article seeks to give you signs you are not compatible with your partner.
While compatibility is no guarantee of longevity, studies show that it is directly related to the quality and satisfaction of our relationships. Simply put, the more compatible you are with your partner, the happier you are likely to be with them.
Everyone has their ideas about what qualities and traits their dream partner should have, but rarely do we ever find someone who’s a perfect match. Instead, we learn to compromise where we can and grow to love people despite their flaws and imperfections. However, it can be hard to differentiate normal differences from incompatibility.
So, if you are wondering whether or not you and your partner are incompatible, worry no more. Here are some tips:
7 Signs That Show You Are Not Compatible With Your Partner
1) You Are Not Compatible When You Don’t Understand Each Other
Right from the get-go, this can tell you a great deal about how good of a match you and your partner make. If you have a hard time understanding how they are feeling, what they are thinking, or what they need, then they might not be the one for you and vice-versa.
It is better to be with someone you can be in sync with – someone who picks up and understands your nonverbal cues and discerns the tone of your voice, and ‘gets’ what you try to tell them. Otherwise, miscommunication and misunderstanding can pile up in your relationship.
2. When You Two Are Polar (Different)
While it’s technically true that opposites do attract, every solid healthy couple should share at least a few similarities with their partner. This doesn’t mean having to like all the same music or movies that they do or even sharing the same hobbies as them. It can even be refreshing to be in a relationship with someone radically different from yourself.
Sadly, though the excitement won’t last forever if the similarities are too scarce or non-existent. Once the “new and shiny effect” wears off, you are both left with someone who doesn’t share the same humour, interest, value, ideals, or principles, making it difficult to relate to one another in any meaningful way. This is one of the signs you are not compatible with your partner.
3. When You Try to Change Each Other and Not Grow and Learn Together
The hallmark of a strong and healthy relationship is having a partner who gives you the drive and motivation to change for the better. That’s the whole point. It must be something you want for yourself, your idea, not theirs alone. Despite your partner expressing irritation or dissatisfaction with you, it is generally ineffective and not sustainable, if you are forcing change on yourself solely because they want it and you don’t. You have to want it for yourself and this goes for many things, whether it’s the way you speak, dress, or who you hang out with; only you have the right to decide who you want to be.
If you don’t feel comfortable showing your true colours to your significant other, even in a private setting, this is a definite red flag and a sign of incompatibility.
4. When You Are Constantly Having Arguments
It’s perfectly normal and healthy to disagree with your partner about something from time to time, especially if it’s over something important to the two of you. We didn’t choose this person so we can be with a clone of ourselves. Disagreements become a problem, however when the arguing is constant and over even the tiniest of things. Even unhealthier if the fighting is dirty- shouting, name-calling, humiliating each other, holding grudges, and emotional blackmail.
Being in a relationship with a partner who tends to bring out mostly the ugliest side of you is never good.
5. You Are Not Compatible When You Don’t Have Different Opinions on Everything
It’s all about moderation. While constant fighting is not ideal, it’s also not good for a couple to never disagree about anything. You need to be honest and communicate openly with one another about how you feel even if it is not in agreement with the other person. Constantly pretending everything is “ok” or “blind agreements” to the wants of the other person, does not make the relationship stronger and may result in catastrophe and blow up later. Conflict can be a positive one-building event if it can be given and taken constructively, which in turn, can lead to personal group and a deeper mutual understanding. This is a considerable sign that you’re not compatible with your partner.
This is surely one of the signs you are not compatible with your partner.
6. Your Socializing Is Isolated From Everyone Else
Do you find that when you and your partner go out, it is nearly always only with each other; no friends, no parties, or group hang out? Do you never spend time with their friends? Have you ever met their friends? Is their family still a group of mystery people you never met? You’ve never been introduced to even though you have been together for a while? If you answered yes to any of these, this could be a potential problem. You must spend time with your partner’s loved ones and get to know them better. Couples who make the effort to be close with other important people in their partner’s lives tend to have longer and happier relationships.
7. You Are Not Attracted to Them Is a Sign That You’re Not Compatible With Your Partner
Lastly and most importantly, one of the signs you are not compatible with your partner is when you are not attracted to them. Even if everything seems okay on paper if you don’t have any romance or chemistry, it’s simply not going to work. Without even an inkling of these factors, you might have a best friend but not necessarily a significant other. The result is that you will naturally be drawn to people you have that ‘more than friend’ attraction to. If you have not even an ounce of attraction, this is a definite sign that you and your partner are not compatible.
Conclusion
In the end, there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. Everyone has doubts or disagreements at times with the person they love. A strong healthy relationship takes ongoing effort, dedication, and also time for it to grow.
What is important is finding that someone who to you is worth that effort, dedication, and time. First impressions and initial choices do not seal your fate. A lot of people stay in incompatible relationships because they’ve been conditioned to believe breaking up with someone is wrong, or just insensitive, but the reality is, relationships don’t work out and that’s okay. It’s now up to you to know and recognize compatibility versus incompatibility. It will save you much heartbreak and possibly avoid more serious scarring.
Don’t ignore the red flags and get stuck in an entanglement. So take your time to evaluate your relationship with these key points in mind and honestly ask yourself “Is my partner right for me?” Tell me in the comment section, if you’ve noticed any of these signs in your relationship.
You could also read on: If You Notice These Signs, You Are Not Compatible with Your Partner.
