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Life can be trickish. It’s not always how you want it to be. Things happen – some you are proud of and some you aren’t; some are mistakes on your part while some, you have no control over. In this article, I have come to share with you some of the things I learned late in life. Relax and enjoy your read.
8 Things I have Learned Late in Life
1. Certification Doesn’t Guarantee a Job
Na this one dey vex me pass, aswear.
When this country was actually a country one can proudly call his own, everything seems to be normal. Everything was available at a platter of gold. Nothing was too difficult to accomplish or get as long as you follow the proper channel of achieving it.
Back then, as soon as you are done studying at the University, an automatic job awaits you, and probably a car and a crib. Because of that, my parents thought certification was the ultimate way of securing a job in this country and that there was little or no need to teach me trading or any other skill aside from education.
Nowadays, the reverse is the case. You need luck and/or connections to seek a job. I graduated in the year 2012. Well, we thank God for what the certificate has got us so far, but it’s nothing to write home about because it isn’t commensurate with the efforts I have put in while studying. I then realized that had it been I had a skill earlier other than only education, my life now would’ve never been the same. I realized the best possible way to survive in this country isn’t only by studying, but having a skill.
Don’t just have the skill; be so good at it that you can’t be ignored.
2. I Should Have Married Earlier
Marriage is something one engages in life. It’s a union consisting of a husband, a wife, and their child(ren). I used to have this feeling that I’m still young and I should at least enjoy my life before I take in a responsibility; that my head is not yet ripe to settle down (which I know to be very untrue). I kept on lying to myself in that manner until now that I’m in remorse.
I’m not comparing my life to that of others but I can’t help it when I see my friends and age mates with their beautiful kids, I wish I’m in their shoes. Well, it won’t be for long before I join them.
3. I Never Should Have Shown I Was a Workaholic
I used to work in a private school some years back. Initially, I was employed as an Administrative Officer but eventually, I became the Accountant, Bursar, Store Officer, and the Secretary of the school. Initially, I was complimented a lot. We all know how private schools are. Once you show them you are competent or a workaholic, they will drain the last blood in you. I kept on complaining about the workload and they kept making empty promises. None of my records was 100% okay because of the workload and they are financially buoyant to get people to work on those positions.
The worse is that they stopped showing appreciation. I became so lean as if they were paying me with electric shock. Because of my diligence, I became so available whenever they needed me. Basically, I had no weekends!
God so kind, I got another job so I tendered my resignation. It came to the management as a surprise. The founder of the school – who was the number one in complaining called me and talked to me in a manner he had never before, trying to convince me. He was even saying my future in the school is far better than the job I got. How absurd! That was when I realized I was an asset to the school unknowingly.
Nevertheless, I still left the school. Now and then, when they are behind schedules on certain school activities, they seek my help. From then henceforth, I have become a normal employee anywhere I find myself.
An wuce wurin!
4. Never Believe Anything Your Partner Says, Verify First
Never believing anything your partner tells you until you verify is one of the things i learned late in life. I was dating this beautiful girl back in 2014. We met online. It all started as a friendship. I only see it like that, but she was on the opposite side of the coin. I made it clear to her that I’m not interested in any relationship until I’m ready to settle down. One thing led to another, she changed my intention. We started dating. During the course of dating, I made mention that I will never marry a woman older than I am.
Long story short, we dated for 3 years and even considered forming a marriage union. Four months to the proposed wedding date, we fell apart. Do you know why? I had a feeling she lied about her age to me. I got to know that when I asked her for her certificates so my brother could submit a job proposal for her in his workplace.
She initially agreed but later called and said her dad took it there already. It got me thinking. I know I’m not dumb not to have seen her certificates even once, but surprisingly, something took my mind off it; I guess that four-letter word was responsible.
So I asked my bro to help check the submissions they have. To my guess, hers wasn’t there. Then I began recalling some instances that their dots weren’t connecting. I pressurized her into letting me see her certificates so I could verify, but she adamantly refused and kept on giving me flimsy excuses.
After 2 weeks of grace, I bailed out of the relationship without a word. Since then, even if I see a nose in between a lady’s eyes and mouth, I ask if it’s really a nose. Call me crazy all you want, but once beaten, twice shy.
5. I Wish I Started Content Writing Earlier
Content writing is something entirely new in my life. It is one of the things I learned late in life; this is why.
I could remember during the Covid-19 Pandemic in 2020, my brother, the Founder of this blog asked if I would like to be one of his writers. I didn’t say no but wasn’t really interested. So I just kept it aside. He also asked me a couple of times too, but my attitude towards it was the same; nothing changed.
In July 2021, he asked again if I can be one of his Editors not Writers anymore and I said yes. That was how my content writing journey kick-started. While editing content on the blog, I realized… hey Abu Hafsah, why don’t you give this a trial? And that was it!
The first article to my credit was 9 Things to Know Before You Marry a Hausa Lady which was published on the 15 of August 2021. And guess what? It ranked well on the google search engine.
Now, this is where my regret is. Of recent, I saw an advert on Upwork for a content writer. I decided to apply and I was interviewed that same day. The pay was very good. Unfortunately, they needed someone with 20 articles and above. Only if I had started writing earlier, would I have gotten the offer.
6. Mere Assisting a Lady in Need or Showing Her Care Could Mean to Her You Are Interested
Women are very special beings. They are different from us men and so, react differently to situations. I noticed that when you give most ladies a helping hand when they need you or give your shoulder to them to cry on, they easily mistake it for love.
If you are a woman, you need to understand that that’s not how some of us think. We just saw a woman in need and decided to help, shikenan!
I’m the kind of person who has so much respect for women. Yeah, ask people around me to verify. I believe a lady is a special being that needs to be cared for and not be allowed to do anything stressful like hard labour. Their body system isn’t like ours. Assist them whenever they need you and treat them right. However, there is an exception to this; arrogant women, toxic women, and women who don’t know they are woman.
Because of that soft spot in me for ladies, I have had many cases like this. They were so many that I had to start caring and assisting less. Now, a lady has to be very very much in need before I assist. Though, sometimes, I can’t help but give them what (help) they need. Lolz. It’s already a part of me.
7. I Wish I Had Memorized the Holy Qur’an
This is also one of the things i learned late in life. The Holy Qur’an is a book we Muslims believe in. It was revealed by God to His beloved Prophet (Muhammad PBUH) bit by bit over the course of 23 years. Memorizing all of it has its special reward according to Islamic teachings.
Back when I was very young, I use to have a retentive memory and can assimilate a lot without even trying so hard. I can remember in 1997 when this song “I’ll Be Missing You” was released; one of my brothers wanted to memorize the song and so decided to write it down. It wasn’t easy to get the lyrics of a song because we weren’t exposed to the internet and there are no sophisticated phones either. If you want to get the lyrics, you will have to play the song on a radio, listen carefully, and write it down. It is very tedious as you need to be rewinding over and over again, using a BIC pen if your radio has no rewind button. Kai jama’a, an sha bakar wuya da.
To his greatest surprise, before he could even memorize the song, I already have and I wasn’t even the one writing! In addition, most of the Surahs or Verses in the Holy Qur’an I have memorized were just by mere listening.
I wished that talent in me was harnessed and channelled towards memorizing the Holy Qur’an. Now I want to, seriously want to but the hayaniya of this country won’t let me, and my memory retention ability isn’t as good as it used to be back then.
8. I Wish I Wasn’t a Nigerian, Lols
Last but not the least is this. As much as I love my country and try to be patriotic to it, I’m not happy living in it. With the recent insecurity challenges and the prices of goods skyrocketing, and a couple of other malfunctions, no patriotic Nigerian is.
Nothing one can do in Nigeria without fear; travelling, strolling, farming, spending, praying (in churches and mosques), even sleeping in your house for fear of bandits or kidnappers.
Haba! E too much na.
I know this is something predetermined by the Almighty so, one has no control over it. Amma da a wani kasa aka haifan, ko ina ne, da tuni na ware.
The above-mentioned are some of the things I learned late in life that I wish I knew earlier. I hope you enjoyed having a taste of some parts of my life.
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Wow! This article has made me ponder about myself about the things I also wished to have done. Most especially the memorization of Qur’an.
I’m glad it was helpful. May He bless our children with it. Aamin