When and How to Have the ‘Talk’ with your Daughter

Updated: Dec 19, 2021
By Happiness Hassan
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There comes a time in every girl’s life when she needs to hear the ‘Talk’. This discussion is quite different from every other she might have had in the previous years and must be accurately communicated to her from a trusted source—parents.

Do you ever wonder how to talk to your daughter about her body changes especially when approaching puberty stage? I get it! Lots of parents out there can’t seem to put themselves together and have this one important discussion with their female child. That’s what the ‘Talk’ with your daughter is all about.

She deserves to know about her body changes, most importantly the menstruation stage as a female, before she experiences it. As parents, you would do your daughter a lot more harm by withholding this ‘Talk’ from her or letting her find out all by herself—oftentimes, from unreliable sources.

However, before you learn how to talk to your daughter about her period or body, you should understand certain terminologies.

What is the Puberty Stage?

Puberty is a process of sexual development in children that prepares them for sexual reproduction. For females, this stage is characterized by breast growth, vaginal discharge, hair in the armpit and pubic region. In addition, a period of a hormonal uprising, menstruation begins, changes in thoughts, high self-consciousness—a confused stage.

What is Menstruation?

Menstruation is the monthly discharge of blood and tissue flow from the uterus, out through the vaginal canal, within 2–7days. It’s also called a period. Furthermore, it’s normal sexual health for women during their reproductive years, controlled by certain hormones like estrogen and progesterone.

Interestingly, menstruation helps prepare every female’s body for pregnancy.

When to Have the ‘Talk’ with your Daughter

Learning how to talk to your daughter about her body changes is best done before her puberty stage, which begins earliest at age 8. It’s important to note that at this stage most girls become extremely secretive with their private lives. Oftentimes, would feel embarrassed talking about it openly, even to you as their parents. Hence, talking to her about her period might be quite difficult although not impossible.

As a parent, it’s never too early to begin talking to your daughters about their bodies because it prepares them for what is to come. Hence, how to talk to your daughter about her period begins with talks about her body changes in general which encompasses both her menstrual cycle. Unfortunately, menstruation varies from girl to girl depending on her body hormones. However, for most girls it begins at age 12, fewer girls at age 8, normally it ranges from age 8-16years.

How to Talk to Your Daughter About Her Period

1. Avoid the Formal Sit Down Discussion

Sincerely, it builds up tension in your girl child, formally having this kind of discussion—putting on the no-nonsense looks as though you’re going for warfare. She may not respond the way you expect and may end up worsening the situation. Remember, at this stage, she is secretive and feels embarrassed having these kinds of discussions.

Therefore, discuss with her in a more friendly and conducive atmosphere. This doesn’t mean you call an entire community for a party after which you begin such discussion. In contrast, do it when you both are having a good time alone. This is why you should engage more in activities that increase the love bond with your daughter. It makes it easier for you, by setting a favourable atmosphere and making your daughter feel free to share with you.

2. Although it’s Special, Don’t Make a Big Deal Out of it

As earlier established menstruation is a normal sexual stage for women during their reproductive age. Hence, there is absolutely nothing to feel ashamed of. Let your daughter know that every woman experiences it and that’s what makes her unique as a female. Therefore, she should feel comfortable about those changes when they eventually occur.

Likewise, as a parent, you must realize that it’s not so much a big deal that you feel awkward talking about or procrastinating. Perhaps, if you find yourself in such a state, brace yourself and practice how to talk to your daughter about her body—it’s better late than never.

3. Let her Know That Her little-open Secret is Safe with You

Talking to your daughter about her period is not a one-day assignment, it’s a continuous regular lesson even after it begins. Hence, your daughter needs to be assured that her secrets about her body changes are completely safe with you.

This assurance encourages her to tell you more things.

4. Buy and Read Puberty Stage Books Together

Perhaps, you still struggle to put your words together before approaching your daughter. Relax! This method is for you. Puberty related books provide you with a bunch of lines, to begin with, and set the atmosphere for such discussion.

Most importantly, you should read it together with your daughter, after which you lay more emphasis on what has been read. Ensure the chosen book is an informative and educational book fit to guide your daughter through this stage of her life.

5. Encourage Her to be Prepared

In this stage, you need to show and tell her what to do when it happens, like moving with a sanitary pad and how to use it. Also, approaching a trusted female teacher in school when not with a pad. In addition, having learned how to talk to your daughter about her period, don’t forget to educate her about how it influences her physical and emotional coordination.

For instance, her period might cause little cramps, headache, loss of appetite, irritations, mood swings among others. Furthermore, how she can minimize the side effects.

6. Use the Assistance of a Health Practitioner

The help of a trusted health practitioner is best utilized if you still struggle with how to talk to your daughter about her period. This includes a nurse, midwife, or doctor. Either of them can relate to your daughter and explain to her in the language she can best understand.

However, while this is done, stick around and perhaps you may learn a thing or two from the lesson that may be useful in the future

Conclusion

It’s surprising how many fathers assume the mother is in a better position to have this ‘Talk’ with their daughters, although she can relate better. But, learning how to talk to your daughter about her body is the responsibility of both the father and mother. However, avoid procrastination, it can be dangerous and it’s a parenting mistake to be avoided.

As a parent, how have you succeeded in having this kind of discussion with your daughters?

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