Ramadhan is a lunar month every Muslim looks forward to. It is a time most people want to stay close to family, do more good deeds, and indulge in devotional acts and the like. It is also a time a lot of people deem fit for them to get married.
Why is that, What’s the fuzz all about?
I didn’t think of it much until Muazu, my best friend had come to my house to give me an oral invitation to his wedding.
“So soon!” I said puzzled. I knew he had always wanted to but then I didn’t know why he had to rush at it because fasting was close by.
He laughed and told me that when I got to where he was standing, I would begin to see things the same way he did. Three more close friends were getting married too and I began to ask questions.
Here is what I had gathered.
First off, a bachelor’s life is hard and Ramadhan makes you realize how hard it really is. You have become a man and you have choices. You want to eat certain things which are not possible if you stay with your parents because then, you are under another man whose will must be done.
You might try to get an alternative by settling down for roadside meals that is if you have the means, but you soon get tired of that. Some people even believe that Islamically, a woman who is not legally married to you should not cook your meals, especially while fasting. I consider that a myth but a lot of people including my friends believe it.
One scenario conjured up in my head was that of a young man who lived alone. He would go to work in the morning and get back to still think of what he would use to break his fast and that was not exuberating.
Fasting is a moment one needs closure with his family, yearning to own your own family is so much a perfect idea especially when one would be rewarded for it. Marriage constituted half of one’s Deen and doing it before Ramadhan is very fulfilling.
Muazu told me personally that his reason was that he wanted to have someone cook for him, wake him up for Sahur and make him feel special. He also mentioned that the urge to have sex was higher during Ramadan, if that was true then what could be as beautiful as having it with a legal partner.
The ladies were not left out as they were mostly the ones who pushed the idea of getting married before Ramadhan. It is a dream come true for many ladies to be married. To perform the duties of a wife to their husband. To cook Sahur like their mothers did and get appreciated for it. There was also happiness in performing Ibadah with the man that owned your heart.
As Muazu ran around inviting people to his wedding, I hope he realizes that marriage is not just about food and sex. Imagine that his so envisioned Sahur didn’t come true because his wife doesn’t know how to cook properly. He would be very sad and disappointed.
Marriage is a lot more, it is about commitment, support, and growth. It doesn’t matter when you marry. There will be many Ramadhans that you and your wife will enjoy together.
Next year, there will be another rush to get married before Ramadhan and I hope you don’t pressure yourself into it because it’s trending. However, the issue of what to eat and all that would pass. It would make you appreciate your partner more and also be grateful you have her.