by Precious Alex-Toji | Jan 29, 2022 | Relationships & Weddings
Have you ever met someone and instinctively knew that such person was married? Like judging from the vibes they give off and their actions? Or you’re entering into the dating scene and want to ensure you are not interested in someone who is married? In this article, I’d be showing signs to know if someone is married.
Now, how this article came to be is quite interesting. I was talking to one of my bosses at work and he told me he was married and I was partly shocked. I already suspected it was true because he was giving me “married man” vibes.
Turns out he was only pulling my legs, but he was curious to know what signs I was talking about to know if someone is married. And that was how this article was birthed.
Now that I have you curious also, here are some signs to know if someone is married.
Signs to Know If Someone is Married
1. Look Out For the Wedding Ring
Okay, this is probably the most visible feature of a married person. You can know if someone is married through the wedding finger- is it occupied or empty?Women are particular about this piece of jewelry. They see wedding rings as a sign of affection which is why women rarely take off their wedding rings in public. For men, the story is not the same.
While some men may have their wedding rings on, most men (unintentionally though) forget to wear their rings or just refuse to put them on. In this case, instead of a ring on the finger, what you’d most probably see, is the ring’s tagline + that circle tight rings leaves on the finger.
The ring finger is located between the middle finger and the little finger. Any tagline you see signifies that the person is either married or recently divorced. I know girls who wear rings on that finger to stop men from making advances.
When next you’re relating with someone and unsure of their marital status, keep an eye on the ring finger.
2. The Type of Car They Drive
In my life spent on earth (I lived on Mars once), I have never seen a single person want to buy a family car for personal use. I’m pretty sure when you saw this heading, you know the type of car associated with family people.
This is a hack. If you want to know if a person’s married, check the type of car they drive and how they drive it. Most family men drive family cars that can take the family conveniently.
I mean, why would you be single and need a Toyota Sienna or a Honda Odyssey? Who are you carrying about? Except such a person is a public transport driver, single people do not need family cars.
I had a friend that refused to learn how to drive using his father’s Sienna. He complained that it made him look older than he wanted.
If you see your crush that you think is single driving in a family car, you might want to do extra research, darling.
3. Their Mode of Dressing
I don’t know if it’s just me, but there’s something about how a person dresses that gives of either single vibes or marriage vibes. I remember growing up and seeing my dad and uncles’ clothing and knowing that this is not what I want to wear.
Today, the rate at which young people are getting married is very high. I am convinced that last year December, there were only three single people left in Nigeria- I am the first person, the last two are teenagers. Considering these statistics, it might be difficult to identify that young chap or lady as married.
Still, the following wears are pretty common to married people:
- Baggy Clothing: Baggy clothing is slowly seeping into our fashion of today but never forget the people to whom this belongs -married people. Do you think a married man with a family to feed would want to go through the stress of pulling slim-fit trousers after closing from work 5 times a week?
- Traditional Wears: My boss falls under this category. I have never seen him in English wear. He walks confidently in trads and I can’t help but imagine how he’d look in English. Married couples love trads a lot. There is nothing that gets to them like a matching traditional outfit.
- Veils: In the northern part of Nigeria, it is common for married women to wear veils that cover their hair and neck and is usually long. On the other hand, single ladies prefer shorter veils that cover just their necks.
4. Married Couples Have Strict Socializing Habits
The freedom that comes with being single is not affordable to married ones. While you can stay out late and have drinks with friends, a married person has to think about family first.
Being single gives you time to socialize to your desire. You can decide to hang out late with friends or go for a swim in the middle of the night. For married people, they have to think about their significant other and family duties.
Rule one in a Nigerian home- As a married person, never stay out late without a solid reason.
Don’t get me wrong. Being married does not stop you from having a good time with your circle. Being married means that whatever way you choose to socialize, you must be accountable to your partner.
When next you’re out for a drink and someone keeps requesting to go home early, check the ring finger and the car they drive.
Bonus tip- if they pronounce WhatsApp as “whatsup”, that person is married and should be expecting grandchildren.
5. You Can Know If Someone is Married Through Their Behaviour
Naturally, married people tend to be reserved and are conscious of their behaviour in public. They tend to act maturely because they have a marriage to protect.
For example, in my first few years in the north, I realized that most married women turn down handshakes from men. Single ladies are freer with these advances from men.
A person who is married cannot be free with advances from any member of the opposite sex. Their behaviour towards such advances would be harsher than how a single person would react.
Conclusion
These signs may not apply to everyone. It is a general observable character I have noticed from married people. I feel more signs might have skipped my mind. Let me know in the comment section if you’ve observed one.
In case you’re unsure about a person’s status, all you need to do is ask. Jumping to conclusions will not answer your questions though.
You could also check: This is How You Find The Right Partner.
by Precious Alex-Toji | Jan 8, 2022 | Relationships & Weddings
It was a cold Tuesday evening and I was having a chitchat with my sister. One thing led to another and we began to talk about some of the things girls look for in a guy.
At the end of our discussion, it dawned on me that many guys have a notion of what they need to do to attract a girl but do not have the faintest idea about the things girls look for in a guy.
To begin with, most women have specs and standards. My crush liked tall light-skinned guys and I automatically did not make that list. However, if you’re working out to impress your crush and you’ve tried all you can but it’s not working, this piece is for you.
After discussing with my sister, I decided to take the question to my female friends, and boy, I have a lot of things to share with you guys!
So let’s get down to business and find out things girls look for in a guy.
Things Girls Look for in a Guy
1. Your Appearance
This point cannot be stressed enough. I mean, out of the responses I got, girls seem to be very particular about a guy’s appearance. It is the first thing they notice about us, guys!
Appearance refers to how presentable you are. As the saying goes, dress the way you want to be addressed. The first impression a girl gets from a guy is his appearance.
To be clear, you do not need to be all suit and tie, James Bond 007, to make a good impression. The idea is, whatever you’re wearing should be neat and presentable.
Your personal hygiene also falls under this category. It’s not just okay to look nice, you also have to smell like you look. You can’t be looking all prepped up and smell like you need a bath.
How you appear says a whole lot about you. If you do not care about your appearance, it probably means you do not care about a lot of things too.
On a lighter note, I have a personal beef with guys who have beards and leave it unkempt. Do you know the treasures you have on your face that you are not making use of?
Overall, your appearance is one thing girls look for in a guy. A girl wants to be proud of her man, rather than embarrassed.
2. Girls Love Smart Guys
If there is anything that attracts girls to a guy, it how smart a guy is. Fun fact, all the girls I asked described smart guys as sexy. Girls are easily attracted to smart guys because it is one thing girls look for in a guy.
Smart guys are well aware of the happenings around their environment. They are very good conversationalists and can lighten up a girl’s mood with their wittiness. How do girls know if a guy is smart?
A few of the girls described a smart guy as one who’s sound academically. A smart guy can speak fluently and contribute intellectually to discussions and arguments.
A smart guy is also good at building conversations. If a girl is heavily attracted to you, she would want to talk about a lot of things with you. If you cannot contribute to making the conversation mutual, you’re slowly losing your grip.
Once I got tired of greeting my women “good morning” and I decided to greet them in a different language for one full week. It helped me learn about the cultures of these languages and I was able to strike a conversation with a girl on the Japanese anime culture. She used the word “scholar” to refer me to her fellow anime disciples.
3. A Girl Looks For Confidence in a Man
Oh, dear! You need to see the girls emphasize this attribute a lot.
One of the things I look for in a guy is how confident he is. I want a man who behaves like a man. I want a man who knows what he is capable of and can act when is needed.
To be clear, a confident man is not an arrogant, 6ft, muscular, bearded man who is always ready to start a fight in a restaurant at 6 pm. That right there is the opposite of a confident man.
A confident man is a man who knows his abilities, can be assertive, and understand Ms when to take action. Girls want guys who can stand in public and defend them. A man who knows how to take decisions seriously and fix things when they go wrong.
Might I also add, that being a gentleman is an added plus? Little things like walking her to the door, texting her to make sure she’s home safe, speaks of healthy masculinity.
4. Sense of Humour
This is a very special trait in a man. Nobody likes boring people. A little bit of humour can never be harmful in conversations.
Having a good sense of humour is one thing girls look for in a guy. You do not have to be a stand-up comedian to be attractive to a girl. Girls can easily detect how funny you are through your conversations.
Here’s the deal. The moment you make a girl laugh, you are very much getting her attention and laying the foundation for a possible relationship.
For me, it has always been a registered trademark – I tell the most boring jokes that make people laugh, ironically. In fact, my friends call me, Alex The Boring because my jokes make you stop, think and then, laugh.
I’m like Dwayne Johnson in Jungle Cruise where he said:
“Alright, listen up. I get paid by the number of people I take out, not by the number of people I bring back.”
Know this and know peace. Girls find funny guys very attractive. Next time you’re having a conversation, add a little bit of humour or wittiness to your speech. It always works.
5. A Respected Man
As a guy, the kind of company you keep says a lot about you. It is only natural that the people around you are people who respect you and you respect in return.
When one of the girls brought up the issue of respect, I believed that the amount of respect a man receives is tied to his net worth. However, the girls believed that 9 out of 10, are more concerned about how well-behaved a guy is.
A mannered and cultured guy is one thing girls look for in a guy. Your character says a lot about you as a guy and it’s one of the ways to make a respectable impression of yourself.
A well-behaved man naturally attracts respect. It’s simple logic – treat people how you wish to be treated. How you treat others determines how they’d treat you. If you respect others, you’d be respected.
Red flags such as the use of slur words, negative aggression, and nonchalant attitude are a few barriers to building a respectable reputation. As a guy, knowing how to control your emotions makes you inevitably attractive.
Conclusion
As a sharp guy and your one and only relationship hack plug, it hit me that most guys do not really have an idea what girls look for in a guy.
Some of the things girls look for in a guy include appearance- it’s the first impression she’s getting of you, how well versed are you in speaking, and your ability to build conversations. And finally, I can’t stress this enough, have a good sense of humour. Don’t be a boring dude.
The ladies who wish to add to the list can let me know by commenting in the comments section. As for the guys, let me know about your experience using my relationship hack tips.
by Precious Alex-Toji | Nov 29, 2021 | Personal Growth
Making a good first impression happens within seconds. How you’re dressed, the way you talk and act are some of the ways to make a good impression.
Making a good impression matters. Whether you’re trying to network, attending a seminar, or meeting your crush on a date, leaving a good impression creates a good name for yourself.
According to a study, the first seven seconds of meeting with people is all you have when trying to make a good impression of yourself. Just seven seconds? You should see my shock too! This is because we tend to judge people almost immediately by their appearance and decide if they are worth our time or not.
Knowing you and I have less than seven seconds to leave a good impression, what are the ways to make a good impression?
Ways to Make A Good Impression
1. Dressing Appropriately is the First Way to Make a Good First Impression
I remember while growing up, my mum would always dress me up for school with the phrase “dress the way you want to be addressed”. I was always fond of not combing my hair which made me look like a mini-thug.
When meeting a person for the first time, dressing appropriately is one way to make a good first impression. How you’re dressed is usually the first impression you give off and determines how you’d be perceived. If you’re met randomly by someone wearing a lab coat, it is natural to conclude that such a person works in the medical field. When meeting people, you should be dressed in a way that you’re perceived as decent.
Physical appearance is not limited to just how you’re dressed. It also includes how you smell. If you’re dressed appropriately but you give off a weird smell, you inevitably become a turn-off to the people you’re meeting, which brings us to personal hygiene.
Are your clothes clean?
Have you brushed?
Do you have your hair well-combed or well packed?
Do you smell nice?
You may not know this but while trying to smell nice, make sure your perfume is one of great smell quality. I have attended workshops where I’ve had to switch seats because the perfume my seatmate was wearing was choking.
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You should also dress for the occasion. You do not want to be dressed in lawyer’s regalia for a wedding. For a business meeting, you are either to be in suits or blazers.
A traditional occasion requires you to be adorned in your native wear.
2. Keeping a Smiling Face Creates a Good First Impression
You have seven seconds to make a good impression and you intend to begin with a frowning face? Comrade, you’re off to a bad start! A frowning face carries the impression that you’re angry, sad, or disturbed, and trust me, no one wants that.
So if a frowning face creates a negative aura, what better way to make a good first impression than by smiling? Smiling leaves a positive impression on you. In fact, people are naturally attracted to those who smile. Putting up a hard face doesn’t speak well about you. When meeting with people, smiling is the first memorable feature people notice about you.
In addition, smiling makes people comfortable around you. It also has numerous health benefits such as reducing stress hormones, boosting mental health well-being, and contributing positively to your physical health. Plus smiling has a contagious effect. You can light up a room with a smile.
Also, you do not want to have a fake grin plastered all over your face. Your smile has to be authentic and sincere. If you’re having a hard time smiling, here’s my life hack 101- try remembering a special moment in your life, an event, or an occasion – like when she said yes or when he proposed.
A smile is all takes to make a good first impression!
3. Use Good Proper Language to Express Yourself
You are probably familiar with words like “I like your vibe”, “You give off good energy”. All these are positive expressions of good body language and it is one of the ways to make a good first impression.
My Dad taught me the power of a handshake. He said and I quote;
When shaking hands with people, be confident and shake firmly with your full hands. Never leave people’s hands hanging.
Your body language communicates a lot about you without you even speaking. It tells how confident you’re if you’re nervous or not and if people can be at ease around you.
Simple things like shaking hands, going around greeting people, and smiling are positive body language. Avoid turning your back on people in meetings or gatherings. Make appropriate eye contact when communicating instead of looking down.
Work on nervous habits such as biting your nails, playing with your fingers, or putting your hands in your pockets.
4. Speaking Eloquently Can Make a Good First Impression
When meeting people, especially for the first time, the possibility of your brain going blank and your tongue failing you is very high. Remember when you tried to approach your crush and your village people pulled your shy switch?
Jack loves meeting new people but every time he tries to strike a conversation, he feels shy and his confidence fails him. I used to be Jack, Jack was me. I found out, the hard way, that not being able to speak clearly is one way to leave a wrong impression.
Meeting new people should build a desire in you to leave a good impression. You would want to make sure the person you’re meeting has a reason to want to listen to you. To achieve this, be gentle when you speak and think! Do not just greet because you have to. Ensure your greeting is calm and precise. Also, address the person politely and avoid talking loudly. For example, if you go to an event, you could always address a person like this:
“Good evening, Sir/Ma (say the name of the person if you know who you’re addressing), what a lovely event we’re having here”.
Then you can proceed with a confident handshake.
5. Be a Good Active Listener
One mistake you can make when trying to make a good impression is failing to pay attention to whom you’re talking to. The truth is, we want to be heard and end up not hearing what others are saying.
Active listening is one of the ways the make a good impression. It allows you to hear the thoughts of others and gives them the feeling that their thoughts are being heard and understood. Most times, you’re always planning what you’re going to say next while another person is talking. This probably means you were not listening closely.
Therefore, pay attention to what others are saying and be ready to ask questions so that they can elaborate on their thoughts. This way, you present yourself as a good conversationist and leave a good impression on your speaker.
Conclusion
Making a good first impression happens within the first few seconds of meeting someone. Some of the ways to make a good first impression include appropriately presenting yourself, keeping a smiling face, shaking hands, maintaining eye contact, and speaking fluently. These methods can be applied to any situation – whether you’re going on a date, attending a seminar or workshop, or preparing for a business meeting.
The festive season is fast approaching and you’re definitely going to be meeting new people. Let me know in the comments section how you’d put these tips to use.
