by Precious Alex-Toji | Jan 17, 2022 | Personal Growth
We’re greatly influenced by our networks and relationships. In our relationship with others, we come across people with different backgrounds and beliefs and this can affect our behaviour towards them. In this article, I would be showing you 5 ways to develop more empathy for others.
What is Empathy?
Have you ever had a situation where you understand a person’s feelings or emotions as if they were yours? That is exactly what empathy is.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defined empathy as “The action of understanding or being sensitive to the feelings, experience or thoughts of another person”.
Also, it is the ability to understand how a person feels, their perspective on things, and view their thoughts as though they were yours.
It is easier to understand how you feel than that of others. An empathic person is concerned about the well-being of others. When someone talks to you, your ability to relate with such a person speaks of how empathic you are.
Why is Empathy Important?
Empathy is necessary for developing and maintaining social cooperation. When you understand how others feel and can relate with them, you build a relationship that is conducive to the development of others and yours.
Being empathic also helps build healthy relationships with your friends. A lot of friendships and relationships have ended because one party does not understand how the other feels.
When you can put yourself in another person’s shoes, you’re able to understand their actions and respond accurately to their behaviour. It also makes you a better person to relate to and can improve your relationship with others.
As humans, we all have experiences and emotions that affect or shape our behaviour. Because of these experiences, we are sometimes limited by our own perspective and may not understand others. This can really affect our relationship with people around us.
However, when you use empathy to understand why a person acts or thinks the way they do, you might get a better understanding of how to respond to their actions.
While empathy can be inborn, it can also be learned. Here are 5 ways to develop empathy:
Ways to Develop Empathy
1. Listen to People
To develop empathy, you have to converse with people to recognize what they feel or think and pay attention to their thoughts.
It is no new knowledge that communication increases the bond between individuals. You can only get to know a person better when you talk to them rather than assume from afar.
When talking to a person, they usually give out information about their thought or feelings, and most times, we tend to overlook these subtle hints because we do not listen.
Over time, I’ve learned that people engage in conversation to talk rather than listen. Compare these conversations:
A: Hello B, how’re you doing?
B: I had a stressful day today and my headaches.
A: Omo, it’s not just you o. Work today was stressful and my head, my back ached. (Typical of Nigerians to turn a statement into a battle of tragedy)
X: Hello Y, how are you doing today?
Y: I had a stressful day at work and my headaches.
X: Oh dear. Do you want to talk about what’s stressing you?
[wpdiscuz-feedback id=”fnbnzrfms9″ question=”Now judge between these two conversations, which is more empathic?” opened=”0″][/wpdiscuz-feedback]
Obviously, the second conversation shows X as being more empathic. Rather than compare their tragedies, X was concerned about the welfare of Y.
Cultivate the habit of listening to people before responding. People talk with emotions and sometimes your inability to perceive them can make you seem uncaring.
2. Examine Your Bias
One of the 5 ways to develop empathy is by examining one’s bias. Let’s be honest, we are all biased. It can be hidden or obvious, but we have at one time or the other, treated someone unfairly.
Examining your biasness is a great way to develop empathy. The irony of this is, sometimes we do not realize how bias we are until we have taken action.
The first step to overcoming your biases is by acknowledging them. Understanding that as humans, being biased is a natural part of our lives can help you decide steps to overcome it. Secondly, taking steps to work on your biases can help you develop more empathy towards people. Constantly questioning your character can help you overcome your biases. Judge the actions you take and how you respond to people to put yourself in check.
Listen to the feedback people give you. It can help you work on your character more.
3. Grow Your Curiosity
Honestly, I find it extremely difficult to socialize with people. I used to say “If God gives me basic social interaction skills, I’d be a superhuman”. Ironically, I have never regretted asking questions about people – it has only helped me develop socially.
Grow your curiosity about people, groups, cultures, and religions by asking questions and conversing with people from different cycles of life. It will help you stop judging people from your pre-conceived idea of them and build more empathy for them.
Sometimes, to understand how people feel, you have to understand where they are coming from. Your idea of who a person is can block you from developing a healthy relationship with that person.
Don’t stay in your comfort zone. Spend time with people. Ask questions about their knowledge, cultures, and interests.
Be open to exploring new places. The more you explore, the better your knowledge of people and the more empathic you become.
4. Reading Widely Can Help You Develop More Empathy
Oh! My favourite tip to developing more empathy is through reading – fiction, nonfiction, biographies, history, whatever it is that catches your interests.
Reading gives you a glimpse of the diversity of the different backgrounds and experiences people have. It increases your perspective on human interaction and can help you develop more empathy.
One book that has shaped my perspective is “The Joys of Motherhood” by Buchi Emecheta. It opened my eyes to the pains and sacrifices mothers go through for the sake of raising children. It helped me sympathize with African moms and made me love my mother so much more.
Reading books, journals, newsletters, and online content expands your perspective about people.
5. Associate With Others By Working on Projects Together
Working together on projects with people is one way to develop empathy for others.
When individuals work together on projects, it can help heal the differences and divisions shared between them and foster social cooperation.
This is why I admire the communal relationship among villages before the coming of the Europeans. Some sort of brotherhood existed among kinsmen where everyone worked on each other’s lands to help cultivate crops for the village’s benefit.
Today, there are various community projects you can work on to help develop communities. Most of these projects are sponsored by international organizations, non-governmental organizations and student organizations.
Whatever project you wish to work on, you’re taking a step towards developing empathy for others.
Conclusion
The above 5 ways to develop empathy cannot be overemphasized. Empathy can be developed like any other skill. Developing empathy is necessary for building healthy relationships and promoting cohesion among people.
The conversations you have with people can tell how empathic you are. Paying attention to the feelings of others and putting yourself in their shoes helps you see things from their perspective and gives you a better understanding.
Keep an open mind by working on your biases and reading books to give you a broader point of view of the diverse backgrounds and cultures we have in the world.
By the way, my favourite authors for starters are Chinua Achebe and Chimamanda Adichie. If you have favourites, let me know in the comment section.
by Aisha | Jan 17, 2022 | Personal Life
Reading is not only a way to get knowledge but also to develop cognitive abilities, and learn the ways of the society. Personally, reading provides an escape from the harsh realities of life. As a shy introvert, reading is how I get knowledge about how the outside world operates. But there are several books that have changed my life and I think they will change yours too.
Books that Changed My Life
1. 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey
Sean Covey is the son of renowned author Stephen Covey who wrote a worldwide popular book called “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” While his father’s book was targeted at grown-ups, Sean’s book is interesting to the teen mind.
With entertaining comic drawings, real-life stories, and friendly talk, it is fun and easy to read. The message of the book centres on personal development.
As the title implies, it teaches teens the habits that will ensure their success. The book is on themes, treating each habit separately and in detail. It is a book that has taught me very much about how to take the right path.
2. Tell Me Why (Revised and Updated) by Chancellor Press
This book served several purposes in my life. It is like an encyclopedia that answered the most basic scientific knowledge that everyone is required to know. Why was the sky blue? Why do volcanoes erupt? Also, why is time different in different countries?
I remember when I was 14, I had waited for my dad to come home just to ask about rainbows, and the next day he, brought me back this book and just the size overwhelmed me. But as I opened it, I immediately got engulfed. I did not need to wait for my dad anymore as I had my own little answer book.
Till today, the book has a special spot on my desk as one of the books that changed my life.
3. 17 Secrets of High-Flying Students by Fela Durotoye
This is one of those books that had a pretty cover that made me interested. I shelved this book for months after I got it. It wasn’t until one day when I was really bored that I started to read it. I am not the fastest of readers but I finished this book in a day. It was that good. It was easy and fun to read, colourful without being childish, and straight to the point.
Furthermore, it had real people stories that did not sound like a motivational speech. It mainly discussed how to navigate through high school successfully, managing friends, family, classes, expectations, and your own health.
It was a very inspiring book.
4. Why Men Marry Bitches by Sherry Argov
This is one of the books that changed my life. The book is mainly for the ladies and I have seen it on many personal bookshelves. Sherry, a woman herself, writes in a uniquely intimate way where she describes how most women are and what men really want in a woman. A nice woman does not get Mr Right, a smart woman does.
In a world where love is hard to find, it teaches females how to make themselves more endearing to the opposite gender without compromise.
It was truly an eye-opener and is highly recommended.
5. Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
As much as I love the story in this book, it changed my life mainly due to the writer’s expert use of English. True, his English was less sophisticated than that of Wole Soyinka, but he passed amazing messages in his novels. He made me realize that to be good did not mean that you had to use gigantic words and that simple words used in the right way would get the message across just as beautifully.
Related: Things I Learned Too Late in Life
He was one of the main inspirations behind my love for writing.
6. Bari and Biba
Bari and Biba as one of the books that changed my life is the common name for the book ‘Al-Arabiyyatul Jadeed fi Nigeria.’ Anyone who wants to go to a school to attain Islamic knowledge of the Qur’an and Hadith (Islamiyya) should know this book. It is a simple grade course in Arabic where it teaches you basic things to know in the Arabic Language.
This book is entertaining, illustrated, and interesting to read. It made me feel like learning a language was not so difficult and pushed me towards learning more.
7. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
If you have found that you are not very sociable and don’t make friends easily then this book is for you. Carnegie teaches, in easy words, how to navigate your way through the web of making friends. He teaches how to make friends honestly and successfully while also illustrating the importance of good friendships in your life.
This book is one of the reasons I have as many good friends as I do today and I will always remember that.
8. Who Moved My Cheese? By Spencer Johnson
When I picked up this book, I was 12 and thought it was a storybook. For a few pages, it was. But then I got further in and my 12-year-old brain got bored so I dumped it. I revisited the book 5 years later and I am glad I did. It was a major eye-opener for me.
The message of the book was the consistency of change. It taught me that no matter what you did, the change would find you. It does not matter how well you plan your life or how many binders you use for projects; life was not a tame lake but a raging ocean.
Not only did this book introduce me to this scary truth, but it also taught me how to handle the change and make the most of it. The fact that someone moved your cheese does not mean you should put your life on hold just to chase after a cheese thief.
Conclusion
There are several other books such as Lord of the Rings, Purple Hibiscus, Ben Carsons’ books, Rich Dad; Poor Dad, etc. that have made a massive impact in my life and would be a great read.
I would love to know what books changed your life so leave a comment and enjoy.
by Precious Alex-Toji | Oct 16, 2021 | Personal Growth
I realized that having a good command of words is a sign that you a learned person. Whether you are trying to pass an exam or build speaking skills, learning how to improve your vocabulary requires your time and commitment.
While surfing the net, I discovered that the English language is one of the most spoken languages in the world. Hence, it is to my advantage if I consistently put in the work to learn new words weekly and apply them when I speak.
Furthermore, improving my vocabulary helps me communicate clearly. It also gives people the perception that I’m an intelligent person. Of course, when i can use words precisely, people will understand me more easily and this can lead to building a good relationship with my peers.
However, increasing my vocabulary does not mean I have the infinity stones to “big English”. No. It really means having the right words to describe things and knowing how to use them. If you are as interested as I am, here are 7 methods i used to improve my vocabulary.
Ways I Used to Increase My Vocabulary
1. I Cultivated the Habit of Reading to Improve My Vocabulary
Books have this way of building mental images in our heads. The more one read books, the more they get exposed to new words and how to use them.
The beauty of the world today is that what i can read is not just subjected to books alone. I have unlimited access to e-books, blogs, newspapers, magazines, newsletters… the list is endless!
For example, I’m subscribed to a host of newsletters whose topics range from sports, politics, self-development, technology, and economics. Every Monday, my email gets filled with varieties of news and I’m kept up to date. I also get to learn new words related to these industries.
Do you know the word stagflation means an economy that is experiencing inflation accompanied by stagnant growth, unemployment, and/or recession? That’s a new word I learned this week.
I’m cultivated the habit of reading anything and everything. I got to learn words and see how to apply them in my speech. And if you’re looking for newsletters to subscribe to, I highly recommend you visit northpad.ng and Muhammed’s (Not a) Newsletter.
2. I Became Friends with My Dictionary and Thesaurus
When I was in primary school, all kids needed to have a handy mini-dictionary in their bags. Our proprietress was fond of throwing strange words at us and anyone without a dictionary to check out the meaning was disciplined.
The word “nincompoop” still sticks to my head to date because on the day she read that word out of “Chike and the River”, I had no dictionary on me to check the meaning.
Today, you do not need to carry a handy mini-dictionary to have a dictionary with you. Thesauruses and dictionaries can be downloaded on your devices for easy access. If you want to go further, I recommend having at least two dictionaries on your device.
A good dictionary tells you the meaning of a word, how it’s pronounced, its synonyms, and examples of how you can use it in a sentence. A thesaurus, on the other hand, gives you similar words related to what you’re searching for, its opposites.
This gives you a vast amount of words that helps you improve your vocabulary. My favorite dictionaries are the Oxford Advanced learners and Merriam Webster dictionaries.
3. Playing Word Games Boosted My Vocabulary
Games are fun activities we all love to engage in. When you play word games, it only makes learning new words fun. I can bet we all have at least one game we play daily. For me, I do not end a day without playing Fifa21. When you mix learning with fun, you tend to have a fun experience with the knowledge that sticks.
Word games like scrabble, word puzzle, challenge me to learn new words and even gives me the meaning of those words. It also helped me get familiar with the spelling and improved my vocabulary.
Lately, I discovered a brain train game called Elevate. It has a variety of word spelling tests, their meaning, and even how to use them. You can download it on Playstore here. And if you’re building your child’s vocabulary, I recommend you try Encarta Kids 200 – download it here.
4. I Trained Myself to Write Everyday
When you write, you make use of words. Writing helps you to stay conversant with word spellings and how to use them.
The best way I use writing to improve my vocabulary is by keeping a journal to document a list of new words you learn each day. This way, I can always refer back to the list and gradually use them in my everyday speech.
Journaling new words helps me stay familiar with these new words and their similarities. Also, I get motivated when I see the number of words I have learned so far.
5. Learning “A Word Per Day” Helps Me Build My Vocabulary Skill
Learning new words can be very easy when one takes the process gradually. I play to learn a new word each day and focus on its meaning, synonyms, and uses. Various apps give me “word of the day” recommendations like The Oxford Online dictionary.
These help me get familiar with words and increased my frequency in using them. If you learn a word per day, that’s 7 words per week, 30 words per month, and 365 words in a year. However, do not feel pressured to learning a new word each day. You can decide to learn 2 words per week as your pace decides. The essence is your learning new words weekly.
6. Engaging in Conversations Help Increase My Vocabulary
Engaging in conversations allows me to learn new words and put new words I’ve learned into practice.
When I talk to people, I tap into the knowledge that they have. I get to hear new words and how to use them in a sentence. I first heard the word “obsequious” from my secondary school senior who was trying to let me know that the average student is never obedient to authority.
Also, when I engage in conversations, I get the chance to use new words I’ve learned during the week. Though, I’m being careful not to have people needing a dictionary every time I speak.
Conclusion
I realized that the key to improving my vocabulary lies in my hands. To have a good command of words, I needed to know their meanings and how they are used.
I do not restrict my reading to books alone. There are varieties of articles online to help me keep to date with new words and even parlances related to a particular sector. I made the dictionary my friend by constantly referring back to it when I hear a new word for the first time. I never forget to jot down its meaning too.
Following these 6 tips on how to improve your vocabulary can build your library of words. If you’ve learned any new words today, kindly let me know in the comment section!
by Ajibike Maryam Olaitan | Sep 5, 2021 | Personal Growth
Have you ever wondered if it is possible to read people’s minds if you can know what a person is thinking, what the person is about to say or do? Mind reading books help with that. Believe it or not, it is true that some people know how to read peoples minds through their eyes, but no, they are not Sherlock Holmes, they learnt the art.
Mind reading is the art of reading what is in the mind of another person. And these best books to read people’s mind teach it all.
Mind reading doesn’t just happen overnight, you need to learn and observe the theories, tools and techniques used by powerful mentalists, to understand the art of mind-reading. The ability to read minds is one of the signs that show that you are actually intelligent.
In this article, you will get access to the best books on mind reading, which would help you learn and understand human behaviour.
These best books on mind reading are by extraordinarily powerful mentalists, whose aim is to assist you in the art of mind-reading and how to understand the tiny details of human behaviours.
Best Books on Mind Reading
1. Mind Reader: Unlocking The Power of Your Mind to Get What You Want by Lior Suchard (World Renowned Mentalist)
This book provides you with extraordinary knowledge to understand the mental power and the diverse areas to explore in terms of mind-reading.
This book will help you become more like Lior Suchard, with his extraordinary talent for mind reading, thought influencing and telekinesis. I will also include the book as one of the 10 personal development books you should read before you die.
This mind reading book has brought Lior Suchard international recognition as a top-class supernatural entertainer and mentalist.
Get it on Amazon for $12
2. Reclaim Your Brain-Mind-Management Techniques by Joseph A. Annibali MD, Daniel G. Amen MD
This book is a prescribed guide to restoring calm, which is based on Dr Joseph Annibali’s experiences while treating thousands of people with encumbering, over-stimulated brains.
This book teaches about human behaviour, practical strategies and other techniques to help you reclaim your brain management to know how to read people’s minds.
Listen to the audiobook on Amazon for $15.
3. The Art of Thinking Clearly – 99 Thinking Errors by Rolf Dobelli
This book is a collection of 99 thinking errors from cognitive biases to social distortions.
This book can transform your decision-making and also sharpen your perspective to understand how to read minds at home, at work, with friends and many more.
You can get the paperback on Amazon for $12.59.
4. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini
This book on persuasion defines many theories and explains the psychology of why people say “yes” and how you can apply these understandings to gain what you want.
Get the latest edition released in 2021 on Amazon.
5. What Every Body Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People by Joe Navarro
This is one of the best books on mind-reading, where the writer delivers the theory about how to “speed-read” people and decodes sentiments, their behaviours, avoid hidden pitfalls, and look for deceptive behaviours.
This is a must-read book for all who are willing to learn the art of mind-reading. The fact that it is written by an ex-FBI agent makes it even better and is my favourite amongst all the mind reading books.
Get this masterpiece on Amazon for $11
6. Brandwashed: Tricks Companies Use to Manipulate Our Minds and Persuade Us to Buy by Martin Lindstrom
This book is highly used to understand people’s minds and not only that but also how to manipulate and understand how to persuade.
The book approaches the mind reading technique from the corporate perspective. Beat them now at their own again.
What is more is, that you can listen to the audiobook for free using your Audible trial on Amazon.
7. Peoplewatching: Guide To Body Language by Desmond Morris
This book is a guide to body language, which talks about the culmination of a career of watching people and being observant about people’s behaviours and habits.
You can get both the Chineese and English edition on Amazon.
8. How To Read People’s Mind by David Deep
This book by David Deep is one of the best books on mind reading, which brings to the forefront the achievement of unequivocal, actual mind-to-mind contact, as its primary objective.
This book will help you learn the art of mind-reading, and also help you eliminate any possible tip-off provided by physical behaviour, attitude or appearance.
It will help you differentiate between mind reading and common sense guesswork.
Sadly, the book is out of stock on Amazon
9. How To Read a Person Like a Book: Observing Body Language To Know What People Are Thinking by Gerald I. Nierenberg et all
By reading this book, you will learn how to train yourself to pay attention to the little inaudible things around you, you will also learn how to understand what makes people act the way they do.
One of the best books to read people’s mind, this book will equip you on how to make use of all your senses, to become a keen observer. Some of the body language cue, especially women’s body language are often misread. This book aims to help you work on that.
For just $13, you can own this best mind reading book.
10. Body Language for Dummies by Elizabeth Kuhnke
If you want to know what people are thinking or what they are about to say, this book is your go-to guide. This is another best book on mind reading, which will help you discover how the body reveals what people mean, and how you can use your body and expressions to make a positive impact.
The author, who is a well known speaker and consultant has done a great job on this book.
Get it on Amazon for $22.
11. 13 Steps to Mentalism by Tony Corinda
This is one book that every mentalist should read because it covers nearly every aspect of mentalism from swami gimmicks to predictions, book tests, telepathy, mnemonics and much more.
For a paperback that costs $40 on Amazon, this book is truly worth it.
12. Pure Effect: Direct Mindreading and Magical Artistry and Tricks of the Mind by Derren Brown
Derren Brown is one of the most well-known and respected mentalists in the world, who exploits the limits of the human mind to create unforgettable psychological experiences.
He explores the “whys” instead of the “hows” of magic. Darren makes use of diverse elements of mental magic to read minds.
At $300 on Amazon, this is surely one of the best books on mind reading you can find out there.
13. The Mind Readers by Lori Brighton
This is one of the the best fiction books about mind reading. The mind readers series is about a young girl, Cameron winters, who is known to everyone as a freak because she knows how to read minds.
Lori Brighton uses Cameron Winter’s story to tell us the techniques on how to effectively read minds and thus one of the best books on mind reading.
Get it on Amazon for $11.
14. How to Read Minds: The Essential Guide to Learning Cold Reading Techniques and Other Mind Reading Tricks by James Palcyon
If you want to learn how to read minds through the easy techniques of cold reading, warm and hot reading, this book should be your guide.
Mind reading is an intriguing art that helps you sail through different spheres of life, like relationships, business, leadership, public speaking and many others, and this book will teach you the HOW about mind reading.
You can buy this mind reading book for beginners on Amazon for just $11.
15. How to Read Minds: Learn How to Read Minds And Influence People Using Simple Mind Reading Tricks and Techniques (Read Minds, How To Read Minds And Influence Mentalism, Cold Reading, Mind Reading) by Micheal Klur
In this book, you will learn the science behind mind reading, the mind-reading techniques available, things to remember when reading minds, what matters most in mind reading, mind reading theories such as “theory theory” and “mirror neurons” and many more.
The Kindle edition of the book is absolutely free on Amazon!
16. Mind Reading: Quick and Easy by Richard Webster
This book tells us that we already know how to read people’s minds, we just don’t realize it, and the author shows us how to take control of this innate skill by determining our dominant sense, reading other people’s energy, deciphering non-verbal messages and discreetly influencing others with your thoughts.
For as low as $2.00, you can have one of the best books on mind reading in your shelf.
17. Mind Reading: Read Minds FAST and Unleash the Power of Your Psychic Abilities (Mind Reading, Mindfulness, Telepathy, Clairvoyance, Psychics) by Emily MacLeod
This book contains steps by step strategies that will guide you through the process of reading minds.
18. Practical Mind-Reading a Course of Lessons on Thought-Transference, Telepathy, Mental-Currents and Mental Rapport by William Walker Atkinson
This is another book on the list of best books for mind-reading, which helps you improve your awareness of others’ concealed emotions. It is also one of the best mind reading course book you can find.
It also helps you understand the thoughts and images that can be transferred from one mind to another without the agency of the organized organs of sense.
While not exactly one of the best mind reading books for beginners, it is worth having if you want to learn how to influence others, including how to get people to like you.
For $20 on Amazon, I consider this a steal.
19. Introduction to Mind Reading: 7 Tricks for Effective Mind Control by Thomas Redder
This book is a great introduction to mind reading for beginners and the more advanced ones. This book provides 7 simple steps to mind reading and provides details on how to use the steps.
The book is one of the best selling mind reading books on Amazon. Get it now for $11.
20. How to Read Minds: Learn How to Read Minds and Influence People Using Mind Reading Tricks, Cold Reading Techniques and Nonverbal Body Cues! (Body Language, Mind Reading, Small Talk) by Zoe Romero
This book is one of the best books to read people’s mind that will help you understand nonverbal cues, and help you know common knowledge and how to use them.
Conclusion
The aforementioned mind reading books in this article are the best books on mind reading. They would help you understand human psychology, influence people and also learn the art of persuasion. They are the best books on mind reading by powerful mentalists, that contains techniques and strategies that would help you become a great mentalist in the art of mind-reading.
Let us know which books particularly have been helpful to you. Share your thoughts, leave a comment below to let us know how effective these books are.
FAQs on Best Mind Reading Books
How can I read people’s mind books?
The above mentioned books are the best books on mind reading that you could find. They include; The Art of Thinking Clearly – 99 Thinking Errors, Introduction to Mind Reading: 7 Tricks for Effective Mind Control by Thomas Redder, Reclaim Your Brain-Mind-Management Techniques and many more.
Is it possible to read minds?
While you cannot literally read other people’s minds, you can accurately predict what people are thinking using their body language, and cues. This is what the best books to read people’s mind teach you.
Will mind reading books make me smarter?
For sure mind reading books make you smarter. But to get smarter, read these 10 easy to read books that will will make you smarter.
