by Abu Hafsah | Sep 25, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
It is obvious that people are different because we are a product of our mindset, likes, family, environment and so on. We tend to behave or give priority to things depending on who we are. How a relationship and marriage is, also depends on that. And again, we all want to be with our soulmates eventually, don’t we? In order to ensure a happy relationship or marriage, you need to look out for the below-mentioned signs that you found your soulmate.
Let’s go right into them!
Signs to Look Out for to Ascertain If You’ve Found Your Soulmate or Not
1. You Share Almost the Same Likes and Dislikes
One of the signs that you found your soulmate is when you have almost the same likes and dislikes. You should put it at the back of your mind that it’s not possible for you to find someone having exactly the same likes and dislikes as you, but make sure they have the majority of your likes, most especially what you know you can’t compromise on.
Check if they like doing the things that you love to do during your leisure time. More so, check if they have the same passion for something that means so much to you. Ascertain whether or not they are good to go on this aspect.
You found your soulmate if they have the greater percentage of your likes and dislikes. If not, most especially on the most important ones to you, you haven’t. I advise you to search elsewhere.
2. You Have a Compatible Genotype
Genotype is one of the tests that every couple intending to settle down should undergo or take. Ascertain whether or not if you guys are compatible by taking the test. If the result turns out to be AA + AA, you are good to go, AA + AS, good to go, and AA + SS, good to go as well. However, if it turns out to be AS + AS, it’s a disaster, AS + SS is an atomic bomb, while SS + SS is a weapon of mass destruction.
So, if the result comes out in your favour, you have found your soulmate in that aspect, nevertheless, if it isn’t, you haven’t.
The result of this test is very paramount because it will affect the children you both are going to have. In general, if you are AA, you can marry any person with any other genotype, but if you are AS or SS, make sure you look for someone with AA to settle down with, else, the possibility of giving birth to children with sickle cell is very high.
You wouldn’t want that, would you?
3. You Have the Same Idea of a Family
The idea of what a family is differs from one person to another. To some, a family is one with a husband and wife with many children while it’s the one with fewer children to some. Others may see it as one comprising of just a husband and wife without any children.
Regardless of how people see it, ensure that the person you intend to settle down with has the same idea of a family like you. I beg you not to compromise on this in order to avoid a lot of ugliness later.
Congratulations if you’ve found your kind of person in this regard. This is surely one of the signs that you found your soulmate.
4. They Are as Religious/Social as You
This is another very important sign to look out for if you want to know whether or not you have found your soulmate. Check out if they are as religious as you or as social as you’re. If they are, you’ve found your soulmate, and you haven’t if otherwise.
As a religious person, you will love to have a family that your religion’s ethics and rules are the ones governing the affairs of your family and nothing else. And as a social person, you would love to be spontaneous; the traditional or western ways of life will be your choice of how you want your family to be. You wouldn’t want something else, would you?
I pray the one you will find or already are with is your type.
5. Their Family’s Ethics Are Just like Yours
The kind of family one is brought up in has a great influence on the kind of person they turn out to be, mostly. Whatever is obtainable in your family is what you see as normal and any other way is abnormal. This is because each and every family have their ethics and the way they do things.
For instance, in most northern family settings, strangers are not allowed into houses without any permission. Even with permission, you can’t just barge into the house without any prior notice that you will. In some other families, you are free to come in and go out of a house as you please.
Regardless of how your family is, as long as that’s exactly what you want, ensure you find someone with the same type of family. If you find that kind of person, you know they are your soulmate in this aspect, and not if otherwise.
6. If You Happen to See a Friend in Them
Your partner is someone who is expected to be your friend. Relationships that began with friendship tends to last longer than those that didn’t. If they are your friend, they will tend to understand you more; you can also laugh, play, and crack jokes together – do a lot of fun things together. Life is too short so why don’t we just enjoy it while it lasts?
If you don’t’ find a friend in them, all those listed cool stuff cannot be achievable. The house is going to be so boring. Trust me.
Ensure they are your friend and not just your partner. This is undoubtedly one of the signs that you found your soulmate.
7. When They Are Very Caring
The heart tends to love the person that cares for it. Your partner is caring to you if they care and support you in whatever positive thing that you do. This behaviour is aimed at reducing your distress or problems and supporting you in coping with your efforts in situations of either threat or challenge. It also entails them preserving and protecting your wellbeing regardless of whether they are accompanied by care and concern or not.
In marriages, there are lots of ups and downs – misunderstandings and fights, happy moments and miserable ones. If they are caring, they will make you feel more valuable and loved in happy moments and less miserable in moments of distress.
Therefore, if your partner is caring enough, then you have found your soulmate. If it’s otherwise, I advise you to quit the relationship.
8. They Always Put You First
We all have lots of things to do which are very important. Well, the idea of how ‘important’ something is to one differ from one person to another depending on how they see it. Regardless, however busy they are, they must try and create time for you and just you. You should also be at the top of their preference list. This excludes situations where they need to put you behind some things.
For instance, they have this promotion examination in their workplace and you need them close to you because you are somewhat ill or lonely. Or say, they have school fees to pay or house rent and you need to buy an item of clothing for pleasure or whatever reason it is. Of course, those problems surpass yours.
In general, you should always be put first in whatever that is obviously less important than you. If they always put on one complaint or other to avoid you, you haven’t found your soulmate yet. However, if they always put you first, my dear, you have found your soulmate.
9. They Appreciate Your Every Little Effort
Everyone needs to be shown gratitude whenever they do something good. Your partner should always appreciate your every effort however little it may be. For instance, when you stock her store with foods stuff, buy her fancy clothes, or even pay her bills – even though it’s kind of your responsibility, she should be grateful and show appreciation towards that effort. And as a lady, when you make up for him, dress and smell nice, buy him gifts on occasions of relevance to him, he should thank you enough too.
This is surely one of the signs that you found your soulmate.
Conclusion
Soulmates are trucks of joy. They are the best things that can ever happen to anyone. If you’ve been with one before, or know someone who is with their soulmate, you surely will testify to this assertion.
I advise before you embark on any relationship or marriage, ensure you look out for the above-mentioned signs that you have found your soulmate. As I said, you can’t find someone exactly like you, nowhere in the world does that kind of person exist. However, ensure they have the majority of the mentioned attributes.
Kindly tell us what you feel about this and also tells us other signs one can tell that they have found their soulmate in the comments section below. Thank you.
by Abu Hafsah | Sep 25, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
Have you been pondering over the things you need to know or do before marriage? If yes, you’re at the right place! Just stay with me as I guide you through some marriage preparation tips.
Most of the marriages that crumbled, crumbled not because the couples aren’t in love, but because they failed to know some things that they ought to have known before even settling down. You wouldn’t want to have a failed marriage, would you?
The moment you decide to marry, know that you have embarked on a journey and there are important things to know and take along with you. Here are some marriage preparation tips to guide you through this journey:
Marriage Preparation Tips
1. Make Up Your Mind
This may sound easy, but trust me, if you carelessly overlook it, you will have yourself to blame.
Making up one’s mind is about coming to terms with their mind; they have to be on the same page. You can’t want to do something while your mind is thinking differently.
You do not want to prepare for a marriage you are not confident in, or still have lingering doubts about; this is a strong factor that could lead to failure in marriages.
2. Pray About It
Having made your mind up on settling down, as normal or conventional as it may sound, you need to pray. The northern part of Nigeria is arguably the most religious part of the country – Islam and Christianity and the two major religions. Both religions believe that whenever you set your mind on doing something, only your efforts or hard work won’t suffice, you also have to pray about it.
After all, marriage is not like an item of clothing, when it gets old or no longer fits you, you discard or give it to another person, NO. It’s a lifetime something. You need God’s interference, don’t you?
Prayer is the key to everything. So pray!
3. Discuss Responsibilities
To avoid responsibility clashes here and there, you need to discuss responsibilities.
There are of course responsibilities in every household. There is a need for you two to discuss and share those responsibilities. Some responsibilities are peculiar to men (like fending for the family) while others are to females (like childbearing, tidying up the house, etc.), and some are for both.
However you decide to share, it is ok as long as no one feels overburdened or cheated. Ensure to make it very clear.
You could also read on: Managing Shared Responsibilities.
4. Have a Role Model Couple
Having a role model is one of the marriage preparation tips you need to put into consideration. That role model could be some influential persons, friends, relatives, or even your parents. You chose them because they’ve been in marriage for a long time and have amassed themselves with a wealth of marital experiences.
They will come in handy when you have a problem with your spouse that needs to be resolved.
5. Try to Be Independent
In a typical northern Nigerian setting, a wife is a very dependent being. She engages in little or no productive stuff but is very productive when it comes to demand. As a female, you do not want to be that; your husband will love you less.
Most men nowadays do not even want a dependent woman, we prefer an independent woman – a woman who does some things for herself and can come to the aid of the family when the need arises. Unfortunately, some men nowadays have their eyes on their partner’s money. Guys, when you become too demanding, she gets tired of you too – it’s a two-way thing.
My advice for you is, try as much as possible to be independent.
Related:How Being Independent Can Keep You From Breaking Up.
6. Take a Genotype Test
Genotype is the genetic makeup of an individual passed from his parents. We have 4 types of genotypes: AA, AS, SS, AC. As an AA, you can marry any person regardless of their genotype – as a matter of fact, it is more advisable to not marry an AA, but any other genotype.
You and your partner must go for this test and be sure you two are compatible. If you aren’t, forget about that marriage. I know it’s not easy, but it’s better than what you will face in the future.
Go for that test NOW if you haven’t.
7. Be Yourself
Being you as one of the marriage preparation tips is paramount for a successful marriage. Do not be deceptive, show your true self – this doesn’t imply that if you have a bad habit, keep it, NO, change it. Let your partner get to know the real you so they don’t see someone different in you that they already know after marriage.
A piece of advice from me to you is “Never lie to satisfy somebody for a moment because the pain that you cause them in the future can last them for a lifetime”.
Please, be YOURSELF!
8. Mind Your Expenditure
One of the marriage preparation tips I’ll be sharing with you is ‘being mindful of your expenditure‘ – this is mostly for men. You need to know that you are about venturing into something way different from the life of a single person. Scale-preference your needs and concentrate on only the important ones.
Do not be tempted to go overboard when spending. Begin to train yourself to spend wisely, that skill will come in handy in your marital life.
9. Decide on Family Size
Deciding on the size of the family you both need or want is an important marriage preparation tip. You should know that a large family size comes with greater responsibilities and vice-versa.
Decide on the number of children you intend to have, and advisably, that should be proportionate to your income and available time – you need money to take care of the family needs and your children need your time as well.
Please, do not give birth to children you cannot cater for; that would be a very cruel thing to do to your children and society at large.
10. Be Obedient and Respectful
You need to be obedient and respectful to your partner. This mostly goes to females. You need to know that we men have ego and pride the size of Mount Everest. We, humans, want to be obeyed and respected by people or our subordinates, but for men, hmm, it’s something else. My dear future bride, have that obedience and respect coming your husband’s way non-stop.
Do not relent on this, DO NOT!
11. Stop Thinking Me, but Us
You need to know that marriage involves two people doing things together for the whole of their lives. As a result, you need to stop thinking about yourself whenever you want to do or say something, you should always consider your partner’s wishes and wants as well. Considering each other not only avoids unpleasant situations but strengthens your marriage beyond negative external forces.
12. Avoid Pre-Marital Sex
This is a big one. In the modern-day world, pre-marital sex has become a normal thing. Unfortunately, some tribes in Nigeria encourage it. However, it isn’t a good practice. There are repercussions to the act.
It brings about less trust in your partner on the issue (sex). You will be suspecting your partner whenever you see them with the opposite sex or when they are not around – say, when they come back home late, or when they are on a business or an official trip. And ‘trust’ my dear, is very important in a marriage. The moment you start suspecting your partner, that marriage is dead already.
Another advantage of not having pre-marital sex is that you don’t get to have a preference, whatever and however your man or woman is, you will be content, mostly.
So, my advice for you is, DON’T engage in pre-marital sex.
13. You Need to Be Patient
Whether it’s marriage or business, patience is the first rule of success
William Feather
One of the marriage preparation tips worth noting is ‘being patient’. There are lots of ups and downs in marriages. No marriage is free from troubles and hurdles. You have to find a way to deal with them as they come, and the best way to achieve that is by being patient with your partner and your marital life.
14. Test Their Patience Too
You will need to know how patient your partner is in terms of misunderstanding. For me, the best way to do that is by getting in a good fight – a very good one intentionally, and then see how they react. If they react favourably, then go for them, and if they react violently, I suggest you leave them. Do you know why? Because there are lots of ugly fights waiting for you in marriage, you do not want to take them (the fights) lightly.
15. Talk about Faith (Religion)
Before venturing into any marriage, talk about religious beliefs with your partner. It’s much easier if you’re both practicing the same religion because all you need to do is decide when and how religious practices should be carried out in the family. If you practice different faiths, you seriously need to have that talk.
Religion is a very sensitive thing now. Ensure that you set boundaries you both should not cross and respect each other’s faith. Any mistake could be disastrous. You should also decide on the faith of your children, the earlier you do that, the better.
You could also read on: Why Setting Boundaries in a Relationship is Important
16. Learn to Forgive
Another important marriage preparation tip worth practicing is ‘forgiveness’. Whenever your spouse upsets you and asks for forgiveness, forgive them. Forgive them even if they don’t ask for it, at least, so you could have a rest of mind.
Do not continue to dwell on previous mistakes of your partner because more are coming. When the problems become much, you lose control of yourself. So, forgive them to have a healthy marriage.
17. Be a Supporter
As a future husband, know that you need to support your future wife in terms of providing for her basic needs, and in whatever good she’s doing. And as a future wife, you need to be like a backup plan for your husband – be that kind of wife that your husband can rely on or fall back to when he is down financially or emotionally.
Support each other in good and unfortunate times.
Conclusion
There are tons of marriage preparation tips, some of which I haven’t included in my write-up – like trust, honesty, being faithful, trustworthy, etc. This is because I didn’t want to bore you with a lot to read. Notwithstanding, the above-mentioned tips should be enough guide for you to consider before tying the knot.
If you find this article interesting, please leave a comment on the comments section below, and also tell us other marriage preparation tips I haven’t mentioned. Thank you.
You could also read on: 10 Things Every Marriage Needs and 10 Things to Do at the Start of Every Relationship.
by Abu Hafsah | Sep 17, 2021 | Personal Growth
“Haaah! I’m tired and I have this assessment coming up soon. I need to study. What do I do?” If you are in this kind of situation, don’t fret, I have come up with different ways to motivate yourself to study even when everything seems not right – with you or within your environment.
Tiredness could be a result of stress or weather condition. This article seeks to tell you ways you can motivate yourself to study even when you are tired. Let’s dive into it!
14 Ways to Motivate Yourself to Study Even When Tired
1. Set Goals and be Mindful of Them
Setting a goal is one of the ways to motivate you to study. This is very important whenever you want to achieve anything meaningful in life. Before you even begin to read, you must have something at stake or there must be a reason why you need to study in the first place. Now that’s your goal. Tell yourself “I’m on an important journey and I can’t afford to back down at this moment”.
Even though you are tired, when you remember your set goal(s) – say your examination is coming up in a few weeks and you need to pass, or you have a presentation, seminar, workshop, or even a lecture to make on something in a few days, you will surely rise and pick up that book.
2. Want to Motivate Yourself to Study, Try Taking a Shower or Bath
Taking a shower or bathing after a stressful day is one of the ways to motivate yourself to study. This may sound funny to you, but it isn’t to me and anyone who has tried it. Freshening up has a special way of relieving you of the stress you feel. According to research, taking a shower or a hot bath can help us feel better about ourselves.
After a stressful day, take a nice warm shower and try to relax, as it’s known that when we feel better physically, we get more confident in ourselves, the more convinced we are up to the challenges ahead.
Also, I suggest you quickly look at how a hot bath can clean off a day’s stress here.
Whenever you are tired but still need to study, don’t hesitate. Just take a shower!
3. Set a Reward for Yourself
Sounds childish right? Ok fine. Consider this scenario and then we’ll see if you still feel the same:
Fatima – a customer care agent in an establishment, needed to study for an examination which she hasn’t prepared for it well the following day, but she was tired because of work. She needed rest but can’t because of what’s at stake. She recently caught her husband in an act of infidelity which hurt her so much. He has been apologizing for weeks since the incident but never did she forgive him, though deep down, she wants to so peace could reign in the family. To motivate herself, she decided “I will forgive my husband if I pass my examination”. That was all it took. She passed her exams and her family is back to normal!
Everyone wants to be appreciated when they do something good. That was her way of rewarding herself.
Do you still see it as childish? I bet NO!
4. Breakdown the Material
I remember one time during my days in the university; I had a big material on Geomorphology to study – the kind that will scare an average student. So, I kept on worrying and thinking of how to go about studying the material. Behold! I got found the way. It was like a voice came down from the sky and said to me “break down that material into chunks” which I did. Since then, I hardly get scared of studying, no matter how voluminous the material is.
You can also do that. I understand the situation where one is tired but still has to study because of a test, examination, and the likes. Trust me, I have been there. But not to worry, just try and break that material into smaller units so that reading and comprehending the content becomes less tasking, and doesn’t scare you.
You may decide to pick topic by topic or chapter by chapter. Just remember that your choice should be strictly related to your intellectual ability.
5. Study Bit By Bit
One of the ways to motivate yourself to study is by studying the material bit by bit. Because you are already tired, you will most definitely feel lazy to read even though you know you have to study because of the situation at hand, do not go for the entire material at a blow. You should consider reading item by item or paragraph by paragraph – whichever one works for you at the moment.
By so doing, you won’t be bored and at the same time, you are on the course of achieving your goals. As they say, “slow and steady wins the race”.
6. Get an Active Study Friend
Having an active study friend could go a long way in motivating you to study when you are tired. They could be messiahs depending on how keen they are to studying. They are those kinds of people that they not only love to read but have a passion for it. I bet you can’t be relaxed or lazy when you have such friends around you. Attend tutorials together, or have group discussions on the subject matter.
They are those kinds of friends that set your butt on fire to enable you to get to space regardless of how tired you are.
If you don’t have one, get one now!
7. Remind Yourself That It Won’t Last Forever
One of the ways to motivate yourself to study when tired is by telling yourself “this shit ain’t gonna last forever”. Of course, no study lasts forever, there is surely a time when it will come to an end. That’s what you should be looking at, not the stress.
This has helped me a lot, and I strongly believe it will help you too.
8. Setting a Timer or Reminder
Setting a timer as one of the ways to motivate yourself to study, is very important. Here, you don’t need to purchase expensive timers to be able to achieve this, your mobile phone can do. Unlock that phone, set the alarm on a desirable time, then relax on your comfy bed, chair, couch, or maybe sleep.
Since you are tired, I suggest you take a nap, then wake up to the alarm you set. This way, you get to study and study well without much stress.
9. Get Something to Eat or Chew
As funny as it may look or sound, getting something to eat or chew can help you get motivated to study when you are tired or sleepy. I have tried that, times without a number. A university friend of mine is like that; she made it a habit because it always works for her, whether she’s tired or not.
Oftentimes, tiredness has a tendency of making one sleepy, but by eating (popcorn, chin chin, peanuts, etc.) or chewing (chewing gum), you are hindering yourself from sleeping by keeping yourself busy – busy in a sweet way.
This will definitely motivate you to study.
10. Start from the Simple to the Complex
Let’s say, for instance, you have five materials to study for an examination. It will be in your best interest to start with topics or materials that are easy to understand, from there, you can graduate to a more difficult one. Perhaps, the simple topics or materials have a link to the more complex ones. This will give you an added advantage.
By so doing, you won’t feel the stress or tiredness because you know you are starting from easy to complex. Surely, this is one of the ways to motivate yourself to read.
11. Stay Away from Distractions
Do away with anything that can cause any form of distraction to you. You will have to make sure that you are fully focused else, negativity will set in. Make sure the environment is quiet if you want it that way, no televisions playing, no ‘clingy’ wife or husband, video game, etc. Ensure you have a clean environment free from anything capable of distracting you. This is one of the sure ways to motivate yourself to study.
12. Repeating One Thing or a Few Things
One of the fastest ways of retaining or being able to recall something is when you say it over and over again. Not to worry, it won’t be bothersome because you have only a thing or a few things to be repeating.
You could just pick up the material, determine the point where you want to study – like a terminology definition, keep repeating it while still with the material. The moment it sticks to your brain, drop the material and continue memorizing by repeating. By so doing, you are studying and relaxing. Isn’t that great?
13. Want to Be Motivated to Study, Try Sleeping
Sleeping has a way of taking off the stress and tiredness in you. You may not have enough time to do so because you have some studying to do, but believe me, no matter how little the time you set for yourself to sleep, it will be worthwhile.
The moment you wake up, you will have enough energy to deal with the situation at hand – studying.
14. Have Someone Worthy of Competing With
If you are a student, there may be probably someone you fully acknowledge they are better than you academically in your class, or if you are a lecturer, teacher, or an instructor, there is someone whom you know is better than you in whatever it is that you do or whom you are looking up to.
If you have that kind of people around you, healthily compete with them. You may be tired and/or bored or sleepy, but by just reminding yourself ‘I have someone I need to beat’, you surely will get motivated to study.
Do you want to be motivated? Have a worthy competitor!
Conclusion
Studying can be hard most especially when you are tired. I have firsthand experience. Sometimes, they become so necessary that you have to study in that kind of situation. Since that’s the case, you should have some techniques or ways which you should use to motivate you to study.
I have compiled these for you, try and use them in the best possible ways you can and wait to achieve success.
If this article is of help to you, kindly leave a comment for me in the comments section. Do you think I left out some points? Please share with us all. You could also tell us how you overcame your situation. Thank you.
You should also read these ways to Improve Your Self-Confidence with These 6 Proven Tips
by Abu Hafsah | Sep 13, 2021 | Personal Growth
There are two types of workers in a workplace, the boss and their subordinates. Whichever one you are, do you wish to know how to get people to like you at work? Of course, I know yes.
Your workplace is where you spend a better part of your day at. Since that’s the case, you would want to make a good or habitable place for yourself so that you could be happy. You can be happy only when you’re being liked by your co-workers, subordinates, or heads.
To be more likeable in your workplace, you need to know and have some attributes that will make it very difficult for your boss, co-workers, or your subordinates not to like you. Let’s go through them one after the other.
11 Ways to Be More Likeable at Work
1. Be Yourself
One of the ways to get people to like you at work is by being yourself and nobody else. You being the boss or a subordinate, never try to be who you are not in all ways. As the boss, your co-workers will see you as irresponsible and as a subordinate, your co-workers and boss will see you as fake and will tend not to like you, even those with your kind of attitude! You wouldn’t want that, would you?
Let them like you for who you are. You don’t have to be fake about yourself. Be real!
2. Be Consistent
You are said to be consistent if you tend to always behave in the same way, have the same attitudes towards people and things, or achieve the same or higher level of success in things you do.
Whatever you do (as the boss or subordinate), ensure that nothing stops you from being consistent at your work. Everyone loves people who are consistent in doing something as long as it is positive, except for a crazy few. Your co-workers will like you, your boss will like you, and the entire management will like you. Some of your co-workers could take you as their mentor and always be looking up to you in everything related to the work that they do.
3. Avoid Distractions
When thinking of how to get people to like you at work, stay or put away anything or anyone that may tend to distract you from discharging your duties effectively. Mobile phones are the number one way of distracting people from working. Therefore, keep your phones most of the time away from you, make and answer only phone calls that are important or related to your work.
If there happens to be this cute guy or beautiful lady co-worker you’ve been eyeing or attracted to, you need to try and focus less on them. You could change the position of your desk if it happens to be positioned facing theirs. Your head should always be on what you are doing if they happen to be passing by you, or when they do that regularly.
Just find a positive way. Your boss and co-workers will see you as professional.
4. Be Professional
Being professional at work means you being reliable, setting your high standards, and indicating or showing that you care very much about your job and how you relate with your boss or co-workers. It also involves you being organized, industrious, and holding yourself accountable for any mistake committed by you as a result of your actions, words, or thoughts.
Always have the interest of your job at heart. Anything related to the job should be given top priority. Refrain from calling people by their nicknames, but rather, their names. They will like you.
5. To Get People to Like You at Work, Be Friendly
Being friendly to your co-workers or subordinates is one of the ‘hows’ to get people to like you at work. Make yourself approachable for them whenever they need your help, assistance, or advice on something related to work, or even outside of it. Let everyone be your friend and be sure to have different comfort zones for each co-worker or subordinate depending on their attitudes. This is will earn you respect and likes by if not all, the majority of your co-workers and heads in the organization or workplace.
However, do not be too friendly that your co-workers will see you as unserious, after all, too much of everything is bad. And as the boss, do not be too bossy, be something in between hard and soft.
6. Be Diligent with Work
You should endeavour to have or show care and conscientiousness in your work or duties. This isn’t common in workplaces in Nigeria, most especially government-owned. You don’t need to be like everyone, always be different in a positive way. Do things the right way regardless of how pressured you are to do them.
This will make others, who aren’t like you, want to be like you, and others like you, like you more.
7. Mind Your Business
Justice means minding one’s own business and not meddling with other men’s concerns.
Plato
How to get people to like you at work? Focus only on works assigned to you and do not go beyond your area of jurisdiction. Do not interfere or meddle in other peoples’ affairs, except when invited. In that case, you should do the needful.
Looking for one of the ways to get people to like you at work? This is.
8. How to Get People to Like You at Work? Be Punctual
One of the ways to get people to like you at work is by being punctual in everything that you do. Most Nigerians are known to be not punctual in almost every aspect of their lives. If they have the chance, they come to work way after the reporting time and leave before the closing time. You for one shouldn’t do that.
Endeavour to always arrive at the right time, and close at the stipulated time. There may be some that will tag you as ‘over sabi’, don’t be discouraged, they want to be like you deep within them, but have not the balls to be so. This will make people at your work envy, like, and want to be like you.
9. Be Honest and Truthful
You are said to be truthful if you are reliable, taken seriously, respected, honoured, and endowed with a reputation. In this context, honesty and truthfulness are synonymous.
Always say the truth and nothing but the truth. Do not be deceptive to your boss or co-workers. Say, something got spoilt and your boss asks who was behind it, say you are if you were. Perhaps, the boss may get angry and react unbearably, but then, they will love your spirit of truthfulness. Now, whenever anything or a role comes up and is required to be handled or headed by a truthful person, you may be number one on their list.
Being truthful should be an outfit that everyone should wear within and outside of the workplace.
10. Be Caring
Be someone that shows kindness or concern about your colleagues. Don’t be indifferent. Congratulate your co-workers when they are promoted, advise them when they make mistakes, speak kindly to them in general and when they are been scolded by their superiors, show concern when an unpleasant thing happens to them at work or outside of work, and all that. Always make compliments where necessary.
When you are caring, you do not need to bother on how to get people to like you at work because they will. No doubt about it.
11. Avoid Unpleasant Competition
Competition is something one can hardly avoid at workplaces when you find yourself in a situation in a competitive workplace, like the banking job or you being a sales representative.
Some are pleasant while others aren’t. It is said to be pleasant when the parties competing have no grudges against each other whatsoever to attain a position, while it is said to be unpleasant when the reverse is the case. Avoid being in an unpleasant competition with your co-workers. Don’t mind them when they have grudges on you, just do your thing. If you succeed, fine, if you don’t, also fine.
When your boss or co-worker sees you like that, the respect they have for you will skyrocket
Conclusion
People like to be loved by everyone, except for a few abnormal ones who don’t. The above-mentioned points will go a long way in helping you get loved by everyone or the majority in your workplace.
Are you still worrying about how to get people to like you at work? I guess not anymore.
Tell me what you think about this write-up in the comments section and tell me if I missed out on any important point. Thank you.
Related: 11 Things You Should Do in an Interview (and 7 You Should Avoid).
by Abu Hafsah | Sep 10, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
Breakups can be very frustrating and depressing. Although some breakups are healthy ones, others can be disastrous; some can be intentional, by mistake or misunderstanding; some could also be your fault and some not. Do you want to win them back? If yes, no problem, just stay with me as I guide you on the ways to get your ex to want you back.
11 Ways to Get Your Ex to Want You Back
1. Make up Your Mind
When your mind is focused and made up, you don’t make excuses. You try. If you fail you try again.
Louis Farrakhan
Like I always say, making up your mind towards trying to achieve something is the first thing to do after considering it. So, make it your goal to get that person no matter what and be optimistic about it. Always remember that you will get nowhere by not trying no matter how difficult it may seem. Don’t linger, don’t fret, just go for it.
Remember, you’ve got one advantage, ‘you were once theirs’ and who knows? They may already want you back! As said:
Make up your mind, Snail! You are half inside your house, and halfway out!
Richard Wright
2. You Want Them Back? Begin to Do Things Yourself
Be independent of them.
One of the ways to get your ex to want you back is by beginning to do things yourself if you happened to be someone who was overly dependent or reliant on them to get things done during your broken relationship. Let them see that you can live comfortably without them. That will surely make them begin to see your worth. By just that, they may start considering you back. Isn’t that what you want?
Always remember, nobody… I mean, nobody wants to be dependent on except when it becomes necessary, like that of parents to their children.
3. Dress Well and Smell Nice
Oh, God! Have you any idea how dressing well and smelling nice can get you any lady or guy? If you don’t, you’re welcome. Dressing and smelling nice is how you should always be whether or not you are in a relationship, but it’s a plus when you are trying to get someone’s attention.
Whenever you’re going to be anywhere around them – like going to work, school or class (if you work, school or attend lectures together), you are going to their house or neighbourhood or any place you are sure they are most likely to be there, be sure you are well dressed and smell nice.
Put on that kind of outfit that you know they like. Be elegant, dress to kill, and look very responsible as you do so. Anything is ok as long as you make it hard to be ignored or get unnoticed by them, positively. It’s surely one of the ways to get your ex to want you back.
4. Stop Acknowledging Their Presence
This is applicable in situations where you had always wanted to be close to them in any way during your broken relationship. Who knows? Perhaps, this habit of yours was what pushed away them in the first place. Even if you weren’t like that, that’s no problem, just make them look less or not important.
When you meet anywhere, whether or not you planned it, do not acknowledge their presence. Do not say things like ‘you look beautiful’, ‘you look takeaway’, or say ‘I miss you’ mistakenly however tempting it may be. Hahaha. If you do that, they will feel important and my dear, you have lost your shot; balance, and aim again next time.
5. Show Them You Care
If you want them back, show them lots of care. Be always there when they need someone, someone LIKE YOU. Never relent on doing or saying anything they show you they want. Try cooking a delicious meal for them – their favourite most preferably, be their first good morning and their last good night. If possible, visit whenever something good or unfortunate happens to them, visit their parents if you can still do that, just anything. Do anything positive to show them they are still well cared for by you.
Doing so will not only score you a chance of winning their heart back, but they get to value you way more than they did before. I guarantee this one of the ways to get your ex to want you back for you.
6. Be Scarce
One of the ways to get your ex to want you back is by being scarce. Scarcity creates value or importance. You don’t know that? Now you do! Do not avail yourself to them at all times. Sometimes, what or who you see too often, tends to be of less importance to you – you know that to be true, but when they are not always available at your disposal, their value increases in your sight.
Therefore, do not make yourself available in their presence no matter how hard you want to do that, no matter how difficult it is for your heart as your endures. Just keep at it. The end result will definitely be worth the patience or endurance. That’s how it is.
So, be scarce!
7. Begin to Do Things They Like and Avoid Things They Don’t
Recall what you may have done that ended the relationship, or what they have always wanted you to do that you don’t do. Recall those moments that you hurt them as a result of your actions. Try not to miss every single detail.
When you do, prepare your mind to be a changed person with regards to that. Begin to do things they like and avoid things they do not like. Remember, the heart will almost always want the person who likes what they like and vice versa.
However, if you sincerely know that the breakup wasn’t your fault, then all you need to do is continue to be you and adjust to those things that they don’t like. That way, they will miss being with you and it’s only a matter of time before they come your way, again.
8. Be Smarter Than They Know
Is it just me? But there is something about smart people that makes me attracted to them. Try to improve on your intelligence. If they know you to be this intelligent, be that intelligent, and if they know you to have a low IQ, try and improve by reading books on intelligence, study quotes on intelligence, watch movies related to that, take online courses and the likes.
This may take a long time before it begins to manifest, but you can try, most especially, if you are enjoying the breakup at the moment, but will consider them in the future. Chances are, they are already noticing you, and that’s good.
Don’t worry even if you don’t get them back, at least, you have raised your personal and societal status by being more intelligent. This is surely one of the ways to get your ex to want you back.
9. Want to Get Them Back? Flirt With Them
This is strictly for divorcees I suggest. You don’t want to flirt with them if you never were married to them before, would you? They may look down on you. But for divorcees, this may be a very good opportunity to shoot your shot.
You already know them very well; what they like and how they react to flirtations. Use that to your advantage. Executing that through phone-calling could not be as effective as sexting. Send them that kind of flirty message that will make them want to touch you so badly.
Flirting with them a little will be of no harm. Try it.
10. Contact Them Less Often
One of the ways to get your ex to want you back is by reducing the number of times you call them, or not even calling them at all, depending on the situation. Even if you feel the urge to because you really want to hear from them, DON’T. When you feel the need to visit them as usual, also DON’T. Let them miss your presence, your voice, your sarcasm, your sense of humour, your personality, and all that.
11. Get a Partner or Pretend to Have One
Make them crazily jealous.
Is there that someone whom they know has been crushing on you while you two were together? Consider them. Is there that friend of theirs that has been wanting to get your attention? Consider them. Sounds cruel right? Look at it carefully, it doesn’t. Remember the situation they’ve put you in and you will see reasons why this is an option for you if you want them back. If you are just acting and not serious, be a very good actor. Ensure all the tracks that may lead them to find out you’ve been acting are well blocked.
If they know, they will get really jealous and my dear, that feeling could trigger the love they once had for you. Now, you will be left to decide whether or not to end your present relationship or stop acting. If the former is the case, decide with caution.
Conclusion
Not all ways mentioned above are suitable at all times. They are dependent on how you want them back – is it because you still love them and the breakup was your fault, or you love them and the breakup wasn’t your fault? For instance, you can’t ‘show them care’ if they broke up with you for no reason or for the wrong reason(s). That’s showing low self-esteem. And you can’t be ‘scarce’ when the breakup was actually your fault. Make sure to use the one that suits your situation best.
If you find this article to be interesting or helpful, drop a comment in the comments section. And if you feel something was left out, kindly tell as well. Thank you.
Related: 7 Proven Ways to Get Over Your Ex and 13 Ways to Get Someone Love You.
