by Fatima Sheikh | Apr 28, 2021 | Personal Growth, Lifestyle
My previous posts are detailed and full of bits of advice, recommendations, and tips on how to
stand out and be comfortable in your skin. While I cannot stress enough the importance of self-confidence, we cannot also deny the existence of low self-esteem. But hopefully, this article should help you on how to overcome low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem can creep up on you unannounced and make you doubt how you look, how you talk, make you question your hours of prepared speech and self-worth. Low self-esteem is a very tricky topic to discuss because it has a lot to do with your psychology and how you measure your worth in respect to what you might define as the normal standard which is directly or indirectly influenced by what society have set as a standard of conduct.
I am not a professional sociologist, but an individual like you working on her self-esteem, so if you feel extremely negative about yourself or your life, I recommend you see a professional in the field.
Tips I Have Researched to Help You Manage Your Low Self-esteem
1. Practicing Positive Affirmation Helps to Overcome Low Self-esteem
We all have that tiny voice that always screams out loud when we are trying something new, and when you are battling low self-esteem, that voice seems to scream louder than ever. This calls for daily positive affirmation. Make it a habit of telling yourself positive words every day. Before starting any new project, focus on your strength and achievements and keep picturing them in your mind while telling yourself you are a winner and you are going to excel in everything you put your mind to.
2. Failures are Parts of Growth
Never beat yourself hard for failing; if you have never failed in life, then you have not started your journey to success. Always accept that failure is a part of life and failing does not mean you are a loser and might never be better, you failing simply means you are human just like everyone else and on a path to achieving greater things.
“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy
3. Look Inward to Discover the Cause of Your Low Self-esteem
You cannot overcome low self-esteem if you do not have an honest talk with yourself. Most people battling low self-esteem are victims of emotional abuse from family, loved ones, colleagues, or random strangers. Have a one-on-one conversation with yourself; dissect all the words, names, and attributes you have been associated with and list out your strengths, and compare to see how these negative attributes do not line with who you truly are. It‟s your life so write your scripts.
4. Look at the Bigger Picture
As a perfectionist, I cannot stress how overthinking every situation, conversation or circumstance can ruin so many things for you. Ignore those tiny little words and stop overthinking what never and might not happen and focus on the bigger picture. Find peace and look beyond every situation.
5. To Overcome Low Self-esteem Stop the Comparison
You might wake up at the right side of the bed, excited about the day ahead, and all of a sudden feel low because you ran a thought in your head comparing yourself with friends, family members, or random online strangers you have and might never meet again. Clear your head and mind and focus on the moment. We are beautifully unique in our way.
6. Doing What You Love the Most Helps to Overcome Low Self-esteem
This final tip always works for me. Doing what you love gives you a boost of confidence and excitement which is all you need to feel better about your self-esteem. Discover your talent and hobby, set achievable goals and pursue your dreams, and don‟t look back.
Conclusion
When it comes to topics concerning overcoming low self-esteem, there are never enough tips to recommend to you to help you overcome this temporary weakness. You are not alone on the journey of low self-esteem,
According to a book by Dr. Joe Rubino titled The self-esteem book, 85% of the world’s populations are affected by low self-esteem.
Don’t beat yourself, think positive about yourself, focus on your strengths, work on your weakness and do what you love doing. Furthermore, what are the things you love doing that boost your self-esteem?
by Fatima Sheikh | Apr 14, 2021 | Family & Parenting
Unlike most of my articles focusing on tips for adults can looking to improve their soft skills, this article is centered on building confidence in children. In my experience working with children, I have come to realize that children are very interesting beings and there is so much to learn from them than you can imagine. Unlike adults, children are free, adventurous, and confident to do what they want and how they want to. But due to lack of experience, they might require guidance from adults in their lives.
Children are recorders and they watch every move and action adults around them take then replicate that action perfectly. This stage is a very critical stage that determines the type of adult the child is going to become in the future.
As an adult or parent with children around, this sensitive stage in the lives of the children requires constant molding and mentoring. A confident child has more likelihood of being successful at handling life pressure, responsibilities, and negative emotions.
Tips on How to Grow Self-Confidence in Children
1. Be Their Role Model
Being their role model helps in building confidence in children. Be what you want your children to be. The easiest way to make children act a particular way is by being that person yourself. Show them by doing it. Don’t be afraid to show them that it is not easy, but teach them that it is normal to fail and also get up to try again. Walk the walk and see them imitate you.
2. Practice More of Positive Self-Talk
You must be kind and use soft kind words with your children. They might test your patience most of the time and it is easy to use a hurtful word on them. These words can affect their self-confidence even till adulthood.
As an adult, you have to be patient with the children and use positive kind words to encourage them. This helps in building confidence in children.
3. Ensure They Know Your Love is Unconditional
This is a tricky one and the most misunderstood tip by most adults dealing with children. Some adults believe the best way to show a child you love them is by buying them all the gifts in the world or letting them get away with everything. But the best way you can show a child love is by being present, supportive, encouraging, kindly correcting their faults and mistakes, helping them discover their potentials, and molding them to be great adults.
Make sure you let them know you love them. This always builds their self-confidence.
4. Resist Comparing Them to Others
The best way to destroy your child’s confidence is by comparing them to their siblings or other children. This always leaves a scar on the child till adulthood, making them doubt themselves and see themselves as less than others. You should know that every child is unique and beautifully made different. Treat every child in their unique way and appreciate their uniqueness.
This surely helps in building confidence in children.
5. Learners are Leaders
Children are curious and are at a stage in their lives where they enjoy learning and trying out new things. As an adult, you should imbibe the culture of learning in your child. Teach them new skills or enroll them to learn new skills. Learners are naturally ahead of their peers.
6. Failure is a Temporary Block
Teach your children that failure is part of life and the growth journey is full of stumbling blocks. The world is full of adults who cannot accept failure. So, by teaching your children to accept failure, you are building them to be confident adults.
7. Encourage Them to Be Expressive
As an African child, respect is the number one moral attribute taught and encouraged. Teach your children to be expressive in a respectable manner. Decide on strategies to use to express their feelings given their moods and feelings. This will go a long way to build confidence in your children.
Conclusion
When dealing with children and how to build their self-confidence, there are tons and tons of strategies to help them get there. Children are in a delicate stage of their lives where they can be molded to be adults with certain traits. If this stage is gotten right, they can turn out to be great adults.
I hope this article was helpful. What other ways do you think you can boost a child’s self-confidence? Share with me in the comments section below. Thank you.
by Fatima Sheikh | Mar 13, 2021 | Personal Growth
Listening is the act of concentrating and paying attention to action or sound. As simple as this might sound, how good are we at listening? Do we only hear what we choose to hear or do we listen actively with our ears, mind, and body while deciphering and comprehending information? At the end of the article, you should be learning five new tips to improve your listening skills.
The act of active listening can be the solution to so many communication errors in all phases of our lives. Imagine a world where parents actively listened to their children, children listened to their parents, leaders listened to their followers, couples mastering the act of active listening, or individuals like you and me being taught active listening in school. More than half of the problems of the world will be solved, if only we mind to know how to improve our listening skills. In addition, there will be less divorce rate, community conflict, and possibly fewer or no wars at all. The world will be a far safer place.
Mastering the skill of listening will not only help you communicate effectively professionally but also transform your relationships, friendships, and marriages.
Tips to Help You Improve Your Listening Skills
1. Practice Silence and Sound Exercise
With so much noise around us, paying attention to every single sound or concentrating during a long conversation has proven difficult. Practising listening to the silence and sound exercise every morning for five minutes will help sharpen your listening concentration before you start the day.
Silence Exercise
Get a quiet spot. Sit calmly and listen to the silence. Listen to yourself. Reset your ears to hear the quiet and stillness.
Sound Exercise
Every day, for a minimum of five minutes, pay attention to the sounds around you. Pick individual sounds out. This can be the sound of water running from the tap or the wind blowing or even the sound of you brushing your hair. This is a great way to start the day especially if you look forward to having a conversation or meeting. This will help you concentrate better during the session.
2. Face the Speaker and Maintain Eye Contact
Paying attention during a conversation can be very tiring, particularly if you have a short attention span, you might drift off easily. To curb this challenging situation, you should look straight at the speaker with your whole body and maintain straight eye contact throughout the conversation.
Following their body movements and eye contact will keep you at the moment thereby, enhancing your concentration to listen actively.
3. Visualize What the Speaker Is Saying
Listening is the missing half of communication. We have two ears and a mouth solemnly for this reason; we cannot communicate effectively when we are not fully listening to the person talking. While listening, look deeper into what the party is listening to. Try to feel what the speaker feels. Listen to the real message that he/she is trying to communicate but is not saying out. Put yourself in their shoes and picture every word they are saying and every circumstance or situation they are describing.
Also, pay attention to the nonverbal cues.
4. Ask Questions Only to Ensure Understanding
While you are supposed to be paying attention all through the conversation, make some gestures at short intervals to indicate you are listening. In fact, listening will demonstrate to the speaker you are in reality listening and present. When the speaker pauses during the conversation, ask clarifying questions only to ensure understanding. This will encourage the speaker to simplify further, thereby achieving the main aim of communication.
5. Don’t Impose Your Solutions
According to a research by Roland Barthes,
Listening can be understood on three levels: alerting, deciphering, and an understanding of how the sound is produced and how the sound affects the listener.
Roland Barthes
These stages of interpreting information while listening can differ from person to person. As a listener, you must keep a very open mind during a conversation. Do not interrupt or impose your judgments. Be attentive and relaxed even if you do not agree with the opinion of the speaker.
Taking a moment to decipher, understand and comprehend the message might shade more light on the matter. If you seem to have a different opinion after analyzing the message, give constructive feedback instead.
Conclusion
Listening, as straightforward as it might sound, is a skill most of us lack. We live in a world where listening will help us understand the other person and message, connect and build rapport, trust, and care.
Listening can be a useful skill for different problems, but it is essential to solving conflict, poor listening can lead to misinterpretations thus causing conflict or a dispute.
Wikipedia 2019
Make it a habit to actively listen. When you listen to yourself, you can listen to people better. True communication is listening. Finally, what method helps you listen better? Tell me in the comments section below. Thank you.
by Fatima Sheikh | Mar 6, 2021 | Personal Growth
Are we born public speakers or do we have to work on building our public speaking skills? This is the question, many ask. This is also the excuse introverts like me use to hide in their shell. In one of my posts, I wrote briefly about my leadership journey and how leadership roles helped me with my public speaking phobia. Have I become extroverted and less nervous during a public speaking session? The answer is No… But I have learned to build strategies and techniques that help me act more confident and relaxed during public speaking. In this article, I will be sharing with you the best tips for public speaking.
Important Skills that Can Help You Learn How to Become an Effective Speaker
1. Practice More Often
When it comes to public speaking, there are never many times enough for practice. Make it a habit to always practice before any public presentation. Never assume you are good to go. Overconfidence is always the biggest cause of public speaking mishaps.
When practicing my speech, I will stand in front of a mirror and assume I am in front of an audience. Before your next speech, watch pre-recordings of your speeches or practice with a friend or family. Practicing is always the shortcut to a successful public speech.
2. Know Your Audience
One of the biggest blunders speakers always make is to assume different audiences to be the same, thereby using similar speaking strategies for all talk situations. Your speech is about them, not you. Make extensive research on your audience, their age group, ethnics, environment, believes, and laws.
You should not use the same speech technique on elementary school kids with working-class adults who might probably know more than you do. Don’t give a talk on the importance of beef in India. Be lucky if you make it out alive.
3. The Act of Public Speaking Demands You Discover Your Style
In my post on leadership, I emphasized the importance of having a mentor or a guide you aspire to be like. Regardless, ensure you discover your style before emulating a role model. Are you a calm soft-spoken person or an outspoken person with a burst of energy? Make your public speaking style in a manner that goes with that flow. Either way, don’t forget to share some stories and jokes with your audience, this keeps them listening with all attention.
Do what you know will make your speech stand out and feel natural.
4. Be Calm, Don’t Be Afraid to Fail
The one who falls and gets up is stronger than the one who never tried. Do not fear failure but rather fear not trying.
Roy T. Bennett
As weird as it might sound, I have built the habit of loving failure because failure is the biggest teacher you can ever have. The word Glossophobia was not invented due to your error, and it simply means the fear of public speaking. This condition affects four out of 10 people. Calm down and don’t beat yourself up for making a mistake, you are not alone on this journey.
Learn from your mistakes and do better the next time. Act calm and confident anytime you miss a word or stutter.
5. Listen to Your Body Language
The stage is all yours and yours alone. Don’t stand still, move around the stage at a calm confident pace. Use your voice and hands naturally. Don’t give out nervous gestures. Don’t stand at the corner of the stage like a wet scared bird, that won’t look good on you. Stand straight, articulate your speech accurately and win over the crowd.
This is one of the tips for public speaking worth noting.
6. Ask for Feedback
During my public speaking sessions at the toastmaster club, the feedback always helped me in my next presentation. The format was Commend-Recommend-Commend style. Constructive feedback and recommendation by your audience will be a great advantage to you to prepare better for your upcoming public speaking sessions.
The audience always sees and observes things you probably missed during your rehearsal.
Conclusion
Consistency is always the key to perfection. There is no easy way out of public speaking. Discipline yourself and make it a habit to practice, learn from books, videos, and great public speakers. Don’t be afraid to fail, practice with friends and families or join public speaking clubs in your town.
These tips I shared will not only change your personality but help you build the unique public speaking techniques that will make you stand out and act confident during a public speaking session.
Finally, were there times you were afraid of speaking in public? If yes, tell us about it and how you overcome it.
