by Ajibike Maryam Olaitan | Nov 14, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
Choosing a life partner is not as easy as going to the market to get foodstuffs. It is as hard as it gets. You need to ask yourself if you are ready to look beyond his or her flaws if you are ready to not just think about yourself if you are ready to spend the rest of your life with him or her, when things are smooth or not. Selecting a partner for life is one of the most critical decisions you have to make but it can be easy by following the right steps. Below is a list of factors to consider when choosing a life partner:
12 Factors to Consider When Choosing a Life Partner
1. Family Background
Before deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone, it is imperative to know the persons’ family background and traditions that might exist, the persons’ family language, system, and behaviour. It is also important to know the person’s relationship with his or her family members as knowing this will enable you to know how the person will relate with your family members.
2. Know If They Have Any Health Issue(s)
Before choosing a life partner, you need to know the health background of the person in order to know the health issues the person might have. You need to know the persons’ genotype, blood group, and other health-related issues. This would help you decide whether to continue or let go.
3. Make Sure They Are Hardworking
Nobody wants a lazy partner. We all want someone who is hardworking in all aspects; females should be able to take care of the house and also the children, while the men should be strong enough to be able to fend for the family needs. Therefore, it is important to know if the person is lazy or hardworking.
4. Choose Someone You Can Rely On
You need to choose someone who you can rely on at all times. Someone you can trust to catch you when you fall.
5. They Should Have the Ability to Forgive
Another factor to consider when choosing a life partner is their ability to forgive. Everyone makes mistakes and the ability to look past the mistakes makes your relationship strong. No relationship is without quarrels, because we were not all brought up the same way, which makes us have different opinions. Choosing a partner who knows how to say “I forgive you” and mean it is very important.
Related: How to Get Someone to Forgive You
6. They Should Be of Good Character
In choosing a partner, their character is one of the most important factors to look into. This is because their character is what defines a person. It is the replica or the mirror that reflects the persons’ worth. You automatically know how a person would turn out in the next 10 years, by the character they portray.
7. Check Out Their Level of Maturity
Age is not an indication of maturity. Actually, it is nothing but a number like it is often said. Someone who is mature physically, emotionally, and intellectually must know how to handle issues without bringing a third party into the relationship.
8. Ascertain Whether They Have A Sense of Humour
You need to choose a partner who knows how to make you laugh after a very annoying day at work, someone who knows how to change your sour mood, by bringing up funny conversations.
9. Sexual Attraction
In my own opinion, choosing a partner who doesn’t believe that sex in a marriage is important, means that there would be an unfulfilled desire in the marriage. You must choose a partner you are sexually attracted to and also someone who is sexually attracted to you. Trust me, there must be an absolute desire to satisfy each others’ sexual needs in order not to feel cheated.
10. Choose Someone Who Likes You
Love is not the only factor in a relationship; friendship is also a factor you need to consider. When you are at that point in your life when you have to choose a partner, you need to choose someone who likes you for the imperfect being you are. You also need to choose someone you like and can tolerate.
11. There Should Be Mutual Respect Between You Two
You obviously do not want to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t acknowledge and respect you. You need to choose a partner who would respect you at all times and also acknowledge your decisions, goals, and dreams.
12. God Fearing
One of the most important factors to consider when choosing a life partner is, choosing someone who loves God. This is important because only then can the person love you too.
I am sure that at some point we have all said to ourselves “she is the one or he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with”, but then, we get disappointed along the road. Disappointments spring up because we don’t try to get to know the person we want to be with, we just fall in love and think that is enough to sustain a relationship. Finding that one person, choosing a life partner is a full-time job, it is not a school course you pick and just drop because it is hard. No, it is a decision you make to stay put no matter how hard it gets, a ‘together for worse, for richer or poorer, till death do you part’ decision, and trust me, you don’t want to be wrong.
The list is unending, you don’t just make use of the above factors, which is why I need you to add your factors to consider when choosing a life partner in the comment section below. Thank you.
by Abu Hafsah | Sep 25, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
It is obvious that people are different because we are a product of our mindset, likes, family, environment and so on. We tend to behave or give priority to things depending on who we are. How a relationship and marriage is, also depends on that. And again, we all want to be with our soulmates eventually, don’t we? In order to ensure a happy relationship or marriage, you need to look out for the below-mentioned signs that you found your soulmate.
Let’s go right into them!
Signs to Look Out for to Ascertain If You’ve Found Your Soulmate or Not
1. You Share Almost the Same Likes and Dislikes
One of the signs that you found your soulmate is when you have almost the same likes and dislikes. You should put it at the back of your mind that it’s not possible for you to find someone having exactly the same likes and dislikes as you, but make sure they have the majority of your likes, most especially what you know you can’t compromise on.
Check if they like doing the things that you love to do during your leisure time. More so, check if they have the same passion for something that means so much to you. Ascertain whether or not they are good to go on this aspect.
You found your soulmate if they have the greater percentage of your likes and dislikes. If not, most especially on the most important ones to you, you haven’t. I advise you to search elsewhere.
2. You Have a Compatible Genotype
Genotype is one of the tests that every couple intending to settle down should undergo or take. Ascertain whether or not if you guys are compatible by taking the test. If the result turns out to be AA + AA, you are good to go, AA + AS, good to go, and AA + SS, good to go as well. However, if it turns out to be AS + AS, it’s a disaster, AS + SS is an atomic bomb, while SS + SS is a weapon of mass destruction.
So, if the result comes out in your favour, you have found your soulmate in that aspect, nevertheless, if it isn’t, you haven’t.
The result of this test is very paramount because it will affect the children you both are going to have. In general, if you are AA, you can marry any person with any other genotype, but if you are AS or SS, make sure you look for someone with AA to settle down with, else, the possibility of giving birth to children with sickle cell is very high.
You wouldn’t want that, would you?
3. You Have the Same Idea of a Family
The idea of what a family is differs from one person to another. To some, a family is one with a husband and wife with many children while it’s the one with fewer children to some. Others may see it as one comprising of just a husband and wife without any children.
Regardless of how people see it, ensure that the person you intend to settle down with has the same idea of a family like you. I beg you not to compromise on this in order to avoid a lot of ugliness later.
Congratulations if you’ve found your kind of person in this regard. This is surely one of the signs that you found your soulmate.
4. They Are as Religious/Social as You
This is another very important sign to look out for if you want to know whether or not you have found your soulmate. Check out if they are as religious as you or as social as you’re. If they are, you’ve found your soulmate, and you haven’t if otherwise.
As a religious person, you will love to have a family that your religion’s ethics and rules are the ones governing the affairs of your family and nothing else. And as a social person, you would love to be spontaneous; the traditional or western ways of life will be your choice of how you want your family to be. You wouldn’t want something else, would you?
I pray the one you will find or already are with is your type.
5. Their Family’s Ethics Are Just like Yours
The kind of family one is brought up in has a great influence on the kind of person they turn out to be, mostly. Whatever is obtainable in your family is what you see as normal and any other way is abnormal. This is because each and every family have their ethics and the way they do things.
For instance, in most northern family settings, strangers are not allowed into houses without any permission. Even with permission, you can’t just barge into the house without any prior notice that you will. In some other families, you are free to come in and go out of a house as you please.
Regardless of how your family is, as long as that’s exactly what you want, ensure you find someone with the same type of family. If you find that kind of person, you know they are your soulmate in this aspect, and not if otherwise.
6. If You Happen to See a Friend in Them
Your partner is someone who is expected to be your friend. Relationships that began with friendship tends to last longer than those that didn’t. If they are your friend, they will tend to understand you more; you can also laugh, play, and crack jokes together – do a lot of fun things together. Life is too short so why don’t we just enjoy it while it lasts?
If you don’t’ find a friend in them, all those listed cool stuff cannot be achievable. The house is going to be so boring. Trust me.
Ensure they are your friend and not just your partner. This is undoubtedly one of the signs that you found your soulmate.
7. When They Are Very Caring
The heart tends to love the person that cares for it. Your partner is caring to you if they care and support you in whatever positive thing that you do. This behaviour is aimed at reducing your distress or problems and supporting you in coping with your efforts in situations of either threat or challenge. It also entails them preserving and protecting your wellbeing regardless of whether they are accompanied by care and concern or not.
In marriages, there are lots of ups and downs – misunderstandings and fights, happy moments and miserable ones. If they are caring, they will make you feel more valuable and loved in happy moments and less miserable in moments of distress.
Therefore, if your partner is caring enough, then you have found your soulmate. If it’s otherwise, I advise you to quit the relationship.
8. They Always Put You First
We all have lots of things to do which are very important. Well, the idea of how ‘important’ something is to one differ from one person to another depending on how they see it. Regardless, however busy they are, they must try and create time for you and just you. You should also be at the top of their preference list. This excludes situations where they need to put you behind some things.
For instance, they have this promotion examination in their workplace and you need them close to you because you are somewhat ill or lonely. Or say, they have school fees to pay or house rent and you need to buy an item of clothing for pleasure or whatever reason it is. Of course, those problems surpass yours.
In general, you should always be put first in whatever that is obviously less important than you. If they always put on one complaint or other to avoid you, you haven’t found your soulmate yet. However, if they always put you first, my dear, you have found your soulmate.
9. They Appreciate Your Every Little Effort
Everyone needs to be shown gratitude whenever they do something good. Your partner should always appreciate your every effort however little it may be. For instance, when you stock her store with foods stuff, buy her fancy clothes, or even pay her bills – even though it’s kind of your responsibility, she should be grateful and show appreciation towards that effort. And as a lady, when you make up for him, dress and smell nice, buy him gifts on occasions of relevance to him, he should thank you enough too.
This is surely one of the signs that you found your soulmate.
Soulmates are trucks of joy. They are the best things that can ever happen to anyone. If you’ve been with one before, or know someone who is with their soulmate, you surely will testify to this assertion.
I advise before you embark on any relationship or marriage, ensure you look out for the above-mentioned signs that you have found your soulmate. As I said, you can’t find someone exactly like you, nowhere in the world does that kind of person exist. However, ensure they have the majority of the mentioned attributes.
Kindly tell us what you feel about this and also tells us other signs one can tell that they have found their soulmate in the comments section below. Thank you.
by Abu Hafsah | Aug 31, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
A relationship is a way in which two people or two groups feel about each other and behave towards each other. To me, a relationship is when two people in love with each other are ready to break all odds to be together and planning to keep it that way till death do them part. If a relationship is like that, then there is a need for one to know how to make it right to avoid unforeseen ugliness later thus: Things to do at the start of every relationship.
Recommended Things to Do at the Start of Every Relationship
1. Be Ready for The Relationship
Being in a relationship is like a full-time job, don’t think about applying if you are not readyUnknown
Yes, being ready is one of the things to do at the start of every relationship. It is paramount that before you start anything in life, you need to be physically and emotionally ready to be able to achieve your goal. Relationships can’t be excluded.
Ask yourself these questions about your partner: “Who is this person to me?” and “Why am I taking them as a partner”. The first question will tell you how important they are to you or otherwise, while the second question tells you reasons why you should proceed with the relationship or bailout.
Any outcome short of your expectations could be a bad idea to venture in; make a wise decision – a decision future you won’t say “I wish I never started this relationship”
2. Be Yourself
Being oneself is the best way to live one’s life. You can’t be someone else. Never. Trying to be someone else in a relationship is a wrong move. Let your partner know the real you so they can decide whether or not you are good to go. Let them love and respect you for who you are.
Though if you have a habit generally regarded as unacceptable, you will need to let go because nobody likes bad habits.
So, be yourself!
3. Know Your Genotype and Blood Group
These are two of the five medical tests you should have before marriage. Genotype is the genetic makeup of an individual passed from the parents. We have 4 types of genotypes: AA, AS, SS, AC. The first three are common while the other isn’t.
Blood group on the other hand is the carrying of two antigens (A and B) during the transportation of oxygen by red blood cells. The antigens determine the blood group of an individual. The blood groups are represented with A, AB, O, and B.
It is important for a couple in a relationship wanting to settle down or otherwise to know their genotypes and blood groups before they are deeply in love. Any wrong combination could be a lifetime disaster. Break up if you two are not compatible; this will prevent giving birth to children with sickle cell thereby, making life difficult for both the parents and the child.
You can also read on the importance of knowing your blood group and genotype before marriage here.
4. Don’t Compare Your Partner to Your Ex
We, humans, have the proclivity of comparing things that we have now with those that we once had. If you have been in one relationship or the other before your present partner, you need to shut that memory dead no matter how memorable they are. You can’t be comparing your partner with another person; it’s a huge deal-breaker.
For the relationship to foster, you need to see your partner as unique in their way. No one is perfect!
5. Make Sure There is Constant Communication
Communication is key to a flourished relationship. Since you are at the beginning of the relationship, make sure to check up on your partner regularly; not too regularly that they get bored of you.
Ensure you keep reassuring them that they are a part of you. That can be achieved greatly through constant communication.
During disagreements, things can be set straight if communication is done effectively. Of course, not every couple even know how to communicate without starting an argument. We all know that no relationship is problem-free but with communication, it reduces significantly.
6. Be Honest
Honesty as one of the things to do at the start of every relationship, is a moral character that defines a person as trustworthy, straightforward, loyal, fair, sincere, and not characterized by lying, theft, etc. You will need to be all of these and more to be tagged ‘honest’.
Do not give your partner any room to doubt you; doubt kills a relationship faster than infidelity. Always be truthful in whatever you say or do.
The moment they realize you have been untrue to them or you have something up your sleeves, BOOM! That ends it. You wouldn’t want that, right?
7. Be Very Observant
I do not believe in the cliché ‘love at first sight but rather ‘attraction at first sight’. You are attracted to them and have even considered dating them, but you can’t afford to be relaxed. NO. You can’t sit back and fold your arms thinking everything is right simply because of that attraction. That’s a very dumb thing to do.
Every little detail counts. Observe your partner’s move and attitude every now and then (I do not mean like a spy, stalker or secret agent), no. You need to be sure they are worth going on that long journey with you. After your observation, make a choice.
Wise man see, wise observed, wise man then is compelled to do all which is right to all that he has observed earlier. Gary Tolan aka King Tola
8. Set Boundaries
To have a healthy relationship, you need to set some boundaries. You need to let your partner know about your likes and dislikes, dos and don’ts, and make sure they are strongly adhered to. If they care about you and the relationship, they will never try to trespass those boundaries intentionally. If you notice otherwise, then be sure to have an uncomfortable relationship if you choose to continue.
Don’t forget to respect your partner’s likes and dislikes too. Respect should be reciprocal.
9. Look Out for Compatibility
Compatibility in a relationship means that both partners understand and accept each other’s life philosophy and goals, as well as genuinely enjoy being around each other without feeling preoccupied with what they feel needs to change within their partner.
A relationship is said to be compatible if both partners are willing to agree on certain core values irrespective of their differences.
You need to look out for compatibility as one of the things to do at the start of every relationship. Make sure you agree on things like dress sense, social status, intellect, likes and dislikes, and so on.
Is your partner like you? You can answer this question even though the relationship might be early, but you can still tell it is or isn’t by applying your observational skills.
10. Know Your Partner’s Family Lineage
In addition, one of the things to do at the start of every relationship is by knowing your partner’s family lineage. Ascertain whether or not your partner’s family has any trace of hereditary diseases such as Muscular dystrophy, sickle cell, Huntington’s disease, haemophilia, tay-sachs and cystic fibrosis. Diabetes is also a hereditary sickness – lookout for it.
With that said, no one would want to venture into a relationship where their partner’s family lineage has hereditary diseases. It’s for your children’s sake, so don’t compromise!
You need to know or do all the above-mentioned things quickly before you get too attached. If you get too attached before doing or noticing, it will be difficult for you to leave. You will end up making compromises, and my dear, making too many compromises bring down a relationship.
If you find this article worthwhile, please leave your thoughts in the comments section. You could also tell us if there are things that I missed out.