by Precious Alex-Toji | Mar 19, 2022 | Relationships & Weddings
If you’re in a relationship and you want to know when your partner is jealous, there are few signs of jealousy in a guy that you can use to find out.
Getting jealous in a relationship is pretty common and normal. If you love someone very much, you would naturally not want that person to have the same affection with someone else that isn’t you. Seeing your partner being too affectionate with someone will definitely make you jealous.
Jealousy comes as a result of fear or insecurity about losing someone. I was reading a post in a daily newspaper, and strangely, I found out that guys get more jealous than girls in a relationship.
Losing someone special can trigger more negative feelings, like anger and resentment. Therefore, knowing these signs of jealousy in a guy can help you identify when your man is getting envious, because, honestly, we won’t tell you.
Signs of Jealousy in a Guy
1. He Stalks Your Social Media
When a guy is jealous, he would want to know what you have been up to. Especially when you go out with friends, and he feels you have told him the details enough.
And what better place to verify, if not your social media posts?
One sign of jealousy in a guy is, he is always checking your social media pages to keep a tab on you. This might be as a result of him wanting to know who you’ve been hanging out with and what you’ve been doing.
You might be telling him about your day and he’d say “So why was his hands over your shoulders” and you’d be wondering where or how he saw it. My sister, you have been stalked online.
You can reassure him by being more open and letting him know the boundaries you have with your friends. It’s left to him to work on his insecurities.
2. He Gets Mood Swings When You Talk About Another Guy
You know how much men love their pride? If you have no idea, go to a football viewing center on a champions league night and observe the men whose team bottled the trophy. There is always an invisible competition between men.
It’s the reason why I don’t like muscular men. All those muscles won’t take them to heaven.
Another sign of jealousy in a guy is his reaction whenever you talk about another guy. For clarity, never compare your man with another, except you are about to praise your man.
Your man can feel uncomfortable when you’re talking about another guy, even if it’s telling him how you were helped to cross the highway. It’s okay if he feels jealous. I mean, if I had a girl, I would want to be her Captain America and Thanos.
What you should look out for, is your man’s reaction when you are telling him about another guy. Does he suddenly sound unbothered? Tries to downplay the conversation? Or shrugs it off?
3. He is Suddenly Overtexting
I love to text my girl a lot, and I mean a lot. (Ha! Alex, you have a girl?)
It is pretty normal to receive 5, 6 text messages from me at once. However, not every man is like me. Some find texting very inconvenient and would prefer to message in short form.
When your man, who does not fancy texting, begins to blow your phone with messages, I’m glad to tell you, my sister, you have a jealous man on your hands.
Receiving multiple texts from a guy you know doesn’t text much is a sign that he’s jealous. I mean, it’d feel weird on your part as a girl to receive a lot of text from someone you know doesn’t like texting.
He suddenly wants to know what you’re doing at that moment, if you’re at the office or at the shopping mall in need of an abaya. I have seen this happen to my friends in class, and it can be so funny.
4. He Begins to Question Your Friends and Family
You can identify the signs of jealousy in a guy by how far he’s ready to get to find out more about what you’ve been up to.
A jealous guy who wants to know what you’ve been up to and who you interact with would go as far as asking questions from your friends and family.
Sometimes, he might even want to win them over to his side. He suddenly becomes an undercover FBI agent and goes around asking about your activities from your friends.
This can happen because he’s probably not convinced about his trust in you.
5. He Begins to Act Very Possessively
A jealous guy would naturally be a possessive guy. He’d definitely not want to share what belongs to him with others.
You know how children have a special toy they wouldn’t release to anybody, not even their parents? That’s just the type of possessiveness a jealous guy would exhibit.
When your man begins to dictate who you should talk to, the kind of places he doesn’t want you to go and the companies you interact with, then you should look out for actions that show his jealousy.
I have had friends who wouldn’t want their girl to go for an outing because she was too pretty. I find it funny because if I have a beauty, why would I want to hide her?
6. He Gets Too Clingy
I am putting this out there now. I am a clingy guy, and I get very attached to my girl. I like to hold her tight. But I also want my girl to have a life of her own outside our relationship.
A jealous guy would act more needy than usual. He would want to spend more time with you than necessary and that would hinder you from having your personal space. If you can’t boast of having your own space in a relationship, check out the boundaries you’ve set.
Most times, he’s probably not spending time with you because he wants to. He’s trying to avoid you spending that time with someone else that’s not him.
Look out for the kind of conversations he brings up when you’re together. Is he comparing himself with someone you know? Probably someone you’ve talked about before?
7. He Gets Very Reactionary
All it takes to let out emotions that have been suppressed for a long time is a simple issue. As simple as you forgetting the remote on the chair when it should be on the table.
When a guy is jealous, he would react way out of proportion over things you might consider flimsy. Say he’s trying to call and can’t reach you; he’d get upset when he does reach you because it’d leave him wondering what you were up to.
Overreacting is another signs of jealousy in a guy. If he begins to drag issues or flare up at the slightest provocation, there might be underlying emotions waiting for expressions that you both might have to talk about.
Conclusion
It is natural to be jealous when you have a partner. It shows you actually love the person you’re with.
What is unhealthy is when you do not address reasons why you are jealous and allow it to affect the beauty of your relationship. If you notice some of these signs of jealousy in your man, a simple chat can take away his fears.
Guys are too proud to tell you how jealous they can be. We won’t admit it, but we feel it. If you’ve had scenarios with a jealous partner, let me know how you handled it in the comment section.
Maybe, just maybe, when I get jealous too, I would know how to handle it.
by Precious Alex-Toji | Jan 8, 2022 | Relationships & Weddings
It was a cold Tuesday evening and I was having a chitchat with my sister. One thing led to another and we began to talk about some of the things girls look for in a guy.
At the end of our discussion, it dawned on me that many guys have a notion of what they need to do to attract a girl but do not have the faintest idea about the things girls look for in a guy.
To begin with, most women have specs and standards. My crush liked tall light-skinned guys and I automatically did not make that list. However, if you’re working out to impress your crush and you’ve tried all you can but it’s not working, this piece is for you.
After discussing with my sister, I decided to take the question to my female friends, and boy, I have a lot of things to share with you guys!
So let’s get down to business and find out things girls look for in a guy.
Things Girls Look for in a Guy
1. Your Appearance
This point cannot be stressed enough. I mean, out of the responses I got, girls seem to be very particular about a guy’s appearance. It is the first thing they notice about us, guys!
Appearance refers to how presentable you are. As the saying goes, dress the way you want to be addressed. The first impression a girl gets from a guy is his appearance.
To be clear, you do not need to be all suit and tie, James Bond 007, to make a good impression. The idea is, whatever you’re wearing should be neat and presentable.
Your personal hygiene also falls under this category. It’s not just okay to look nice, you also have to smell like you look. You can’t be looking all prepped up and smell like you need a bath.
How you appear says a whole lot about you. If you do not care about your appearance, it probably means you do not care about a lot of things too.
On a lighter note, I have a personal beef with guys who have beards and leave it unkempt. Do you know the treasures you have on your face that you are not making use of?
Overall, your appearance is one thing girls look for in a guy. A girl wants to be proud of her man, rather than embarrassed.
2. Girls Love Smart Guys
If there is anything that attracts girls to a guy, it how smart a guy is. Fun fact, all the girls I asked described smart guys as sexy. Girls are easily attracted to smart guys because it is one thing girls look for in a guy.
Smart guys are well aware of the happenings around their environment. They are very good conversationalists and can lighten up a girl’s mood with their wittiness. How do girls know if a guy is smart?
A few of the girls described a smart guy as one who’s sound academically. A smart guy can speak fluently and contribute intellectually to discussions and arguments.
A smart guy is also good at building conversations. If a girl is heavily attracted to you, she would want to talk about a lot of things with you. If you cannot contribute to making the conversation mutual, you’re slowly losing your grip.
Once I got tired of greeting my women “good morning” and I decided to greet them in a different language for one full week. It helped me learn about the cultures of these languages and I was able to strike a conversation with a girl on the Japanese anime culture. She used the word “scholar” to refer me to her fellow anime disciples.
3. A Girl Looks For Confidence in a Man
Oh, dear! You need to see the girls emphasize this attribute a lot.
One of the things I look for in a guy is how confident he is. I want a man who behaves like a man. I want a man who knows what he is capable of and can act when is needed.
To be clear, a confident man is not an arrogant, 6ft, muscular, bearded man who is always ready to start a fight in a restaurant at 6 pm. That right there is the opposite of a confident man.
A confident man is a man who knows his abilities, can be assertive, and understand Ms when to take action. Girls want guys who can stand in public and defend them. A man who knows how to take decisions seriously and fix things when they go wrong.
Might I also add, that being a gentleman is an added plus? Little things like walking her to the door, texting her to make sure she’s home safe, speaks of healthy masculinity.
4. Sense of Humour
This is a very special trait in a man. Nobody likes boring people. A little bit of humour can never be harmful in conversations.
Having a good sense of humour is one thing girls look for in a guy. You do not have to be a stand-up comedian to be attractive to a girl. Girls can easily detect how funny you are through your conversations.
Here’s the deal. The moment you make a girl laugh, you are very much getting her attention and laying the foundation for a possible relationship.
For me, it has always been a registered trademark – I tell the most boring jokes that make people laugh, ironically. In fact, my friends call me, Alex The Boring because my jokes make you stop, think and then, laugh.
I’m like Dwayne Johnson in Jungle Cruise where he said:
“Alright, listen up. I get paid by the number of people I take out, not by the number of people I bring back.”
Know this and know peace. Girls find funny guys very attractive. Next time you’re having a conversation, add a little bit of humour or wittiness to your speech. It always works.
5. A Respected Man
As a guy, the kind of company you keep says a lot about you. It is only natural that the people around you are people who respect you and you respect in return.
When one of the girls brought up the issue of respect, I believed that the amount of respect a man receives is tied to his net worth. However, the girls believed that 9 out of 10, are more concerned about how well-behaved a guy is.
A mannered and cultured guy is one thing girls look for in a guy. Your character says a lot about you as a guy and it’s one of the ways to make a respectable impression of yourself.
A well-behaved man naturally attracts respect. It’s simple logic – treat people how you wish to be treated. How you treat others determines how they’d treat you. If you respect others, you’d be respected.
Red flags such as the use of slur words, negative aggression, and nonchalant attitude are a few barriers to building a respectable reputation. As a guy, knowing how to control your emotions makes you inevitably attractive.
Conclusion
As a sharp guy and your one and only relationship hack plug, it hit me that most guys do not really have an idea what girls look for in a guy.
Some of the things girls look for in a guy include appearance- it’s the first impression she’s getting of you, how well versed are you in speaking, and your ability to build conversations. And finally, I can’t stress this enough, have a good sense of humour. Don’t be a boring dude.
The ladies who wish to add to the list can let me know by commenting in the comments section. As for the guys, let me know about your experience using my relationship hack tips.
