by Happiness Hassan | Jul 21, 2021 | Family & Parenting
The joy of a parent to raise a healthy and decent child. But, what happens when the reverse becomes the case? This unprecedented change in a child leaves most parents confused. Subsequently, it results in fear and anxiety when the doctor’s report shows that their child is diagnosed with autism disorder. Unfortunately, no parents ever prepare beforehand to raise an autistic child. Therefore, it becomes devastating raising a child with autism for all parents.
Furthermore, you begin to wonder what’s next? As your life will undergo drastic alterations, likewise, that of your child. However, you’re not alone in this struggle. This article is written to provide you with the best tips you need when raising a child with autism.
What Is Autism?
Autism, also known as Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a term that encompasses a group of neurodevelopmental disorders that disrupts the ability to communicate, socialize, coordinate emotions, and comprehend things.
This disability varies from person to person. Oftentimes, it becomes a complex, lifelong challenge. Meanwhile, research has shown that autism occurs more in male children than females.
Causes Of Autism
There isn’t a specific cause for autism yet, although there are various factors that can give rise to autism disorder. Interference with the function, structure, and development of the brain result in autism. Most especially, when pregnant women indulge in unhealthy lifestyles during pregnancy like intake of hard drugs, alcohol, and anti-seizure medication— it affects the unborn child.
Also, metabolic conditions alter the function of the brain, for instance, diabetes, epilepsy, sleep disorder, obesity, or untreated phenylketonuria.
Other factors include heredity, gene mutation, exposure to harmful chemicals, viral infections, and being born to aged parents.
What Are The Symptoms of Autism?
1. Behavioural Signs of Autism
Autistic kids are impulsive, clumsy, have poor eye contact, engage in self-harm, and display passive/aggressive/disruptive attitudes.
They enjoy repetitive patterns like rocking, spinning, hand flapping, or walking on toes.
2. Social Signs of Autism
Perhaps you notice your child prefers being alone instead of associating with their peers, it’s a sign of autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Subsequently, they become indifferent to caregivers, having restricted Interests.
Oftentimes, they struggle to express themselves. Some infants hardly respond to their names and lack joyous engaging expressions.
3. Development Signs of Autism
Delay in speech can be traced to ASD. Victims of autism have abnormal speech patterns like babbling or robot-like speech. These categories of children can be seen repeating a single word or phrase which is often meaningless.
4. Cognitive Signs of Autism
The simple litmus test for autism is through cognitive signs. Children with ASD have low intelligence, creativity, memory retention ability, and emotional coordination. They lack concentration and can’t understand easy questions or directions.
5. Psychological Signs of Autism
This includes being unconscious of their emotions and those around them. They are also victims of depression and being
sensitive to touch, light, sound, smell, taste, color, and texture.
Practical Tips for Raising a Child With Autism
1. Incorporate Patient While Raising a Kid With Autism
It’s exhausting bringing up a child who forgets everything that has been learned. Unfortunately, this is the state autistic kids belong to. In other words, they keep repeating wrong behaviors after being corrected countless times— slow at adapting to normal behavior. However, instead of getting angry with their lack of improvement, chose to be patient and supportive.
Learn how to be patient with that child, looking beyond their disabilities. Don’t permit your anger to dictate how to nurture an artistic child nor should you employ violent methods of disciplining a child when correcting them.
2. Non-verbal Communication Helps You Relate Better With an Autistic Child
Autistic children find it difficult to communicate and express themselves verbally—speech defaults. Therefore, to connect with them you must learn how to communicate using nonverbal methods such as communication using gestures, facial expressions, and touch.
This may sound ridiculous. However, raising a child with autism demands you learn them. It enables you to relate to their needs and provides for them. It further helps that child associate with others instead of being left behind.
3. Create A Safe Haven for an Autistic Child
A hostile environment stirs up autism spectrum disorder—it hinders improvement. Perhaps, you’re raising a child with autism, you need to make your home a haven. It isn’t the time for nagging, quarreling, or violence in the family. Rather a time to practice activities that increase love bonds with a child.
A healthy relationship communicates the message of love and value to an autistic child. Oftentimes, victims of autism give in to self-harm. Therefore, ensure you keep out all harmful objects, substances, and appliances from their reach. Always monitor their movements.
4. Study Your Child as a Parent
As a parent or caregiver, you must watch out for the signs of autism in your kids beginning from infancy. This enables you to seek the right treatment early. The outcome from your study will give an accurate knowledge of the things that upset your child, so you can avoid them. Similarly, the thing that cheers them up.
Don’t hesitate to do more of what makes them happy as it boosts their learning process of increasing normal behavior.
5. Reward Their Behaviors
To boost the retention ability of children with ASD you need to reward their good behavior often. Since they easily forget what’s learned, getting rewarded will help them familiarize themselves with normal behaviors.
Subsequently, they begin to adapt to what’s learned to obtain the rewards. Meanwhile, don’t hesitate to show disapproval for wrong behaviors by not awarding rewards.
6. Build Your Child’s Interest
You must learn how to discover your child’s passion irrespective of their disability. Autism hinders a child’s cognitive ability and academic performance, however, it doesn’t terminate their interest in other activities. You also need to step beyond discovering their passion by giving them your support and encouragement. Developing their interest strengthens them to communicate and socialize faster.
Don’t be quick to conclude they aren’t good at anything—keep trying. I have met with an autistic child who is an awesome artist. Therefore give your child a chance!
7. Watch Your Words as You Speak With an Autistic Child
Raising a child with autism requires the use of gracious words. I know it hurts to see your child with disabilities but that shouldn’t alter your words used in communicating to them. It’s disastrous to use insulting words at them. This implies that your words can either become a healing or destructive balm. Depending on how you utilize them.
Using words like you’re worthless, you would never learn or why don’t you ever fit in like other kids tears down their self-esteem and worsens their condition. In contrast, use supportive and loving words; I believe in you, you can do it, you’re a genius, you’re unique among others.
8. Disallow Self–isolation for an Autistic Child
Oftentimes parents encourage the attitude of loneliness in autistic children by restricting their movement. Due to fear of being embarrassed when they misbehave while among their peers.
Unfortunately, this act doesn’t solve the problem. If you must succeed at raising a child with autism, you must realize that they are also entitled to the privilege and rights of a normal child— not less.
Therefore, give them your support by allowing them to associate with their peers. Perhaps, you feel their peers will laugh at them, ensure they hang out with a few friends, preferably one or two is healthy for a start. They adapt faster to normal behavior through positive peer group influence.
9. Involve Others
To prevent breaking down with depression, involve others in your quest to help your child overcome autism. In other words, you need the help of other household members. It’s one of your responsibilities to inform and educate them on how to relate to an autistic child. Therefore, instead of insulting or rejecting such children, they give their love, support, and acceptance. It further creates a conducive atmosphere to learn new skills.
10. A Private Tutor is Needed for an Autistic Child
Furthermore, it’s a waste of time and effort to assume that an autistic child will cope along with their peers. Therefore, you need to employ the assistance of a private tutor to simplify what’s taught, which aids their comprehension ability.
They also tend to forget easily. However, a private tutor will help in revising what is taught many more times until it’s adapted.
11. Commitment to Treatment
There are numerous treatments for autism spectrum disorder depending on the disability of a child. As a parent raising a child with autism you need to understand that these treatments work in a progressive pattern—not instantaneous. This treatment process calls for commitment and patience. There will be a time when you feel the treatment isn’t working, however, don’t quit! Continue sooner than later you will see improvement in that child’s life.
Autism spectrum disorder treatment includes speech therapy, occupational therapy( Enhance daily activities), physical therapy, educational therapy, family therapy and applied behavioral analysis.
In addition, certain medications may be recommended like antipsychotics for behavioral problems or antidepressants (for anxiety and depression).
12. Self-Care is Needed
You need to be healthy and fit to provide your child with the best support needed to walk through autism. Taking proper care of yourself is needed to avert a nervous breakdown. In essence, you need to be emotionally stable. Avoid engaging in self-pity or worrying, this often results in depression. Likewise, give your body enough rest, proper diets, and seek medical care when sick. Also, discard the use of hard drugs to forget about your pain.
Conclusion
Early recognition of autism spectrum disorder makes treatment achievable. Therefore, be an observant parent. Nonetheless, your support is highly required to enhance normal behavior, although you would have to make decisions for them for a long time before they attain independence.
Meanwhile, as a pregnant mother be careful of the things you take into your body system. These substances affect the unborn child.
In addition, share your views regarding raising a child with autism in the comment section.
by Happiness Hassan | Apr 21, 2021 | Family & Parenting
As a parent, I assume there were things you wished your parents had taught you while growing up. Also, there was the hurtful treatment you received from them, that you wished you could reverse. Back then I’m sure you had promised yourself to become a better version of your parents to your kids. In this post, I will share 8 parenting mistakes to avoid while handling your kids.
Currently, the ball of parenting is in your court, instead of finding it easy and interesting as you’ve imagined. Reverse the case, you’re struggling to keep up with parenting. Indulging in all forms of parenting mistakes to avoid while grooming a child. The role of parenting is tasking and requires courage to get it right.
8 Parenting Mistakes Every Parent Must Avoid
1. Do Not Be Mr. and Mrs. Busy Outfit
There is a natural urge in parents to provide the necessities of life for their family and there is nothing wrong with that. But in that process, the majority abandon their kids to grow and look after themselves. Perhaps, hand them over to a nanny or a relative to look after while they are engrossed in their jobs, career, business, and personal issues. This approach is dangerous and affects your kids negatively.
As parents never sacrifice the well-being of your kids for a job that’s extremely demanding and takes you away from them. If that continues their needs and wants will become unnoticeable to you. Hence, spend more time with them by balancing your schedule.
In short, your kid’s happiness is your priority as a parent. That implies being there for them. The more you distance yourself from your kids, the love bond begins to fade, and gradually they see you as a stranger. Clinging unto whoever spends more time with them.
2. Imposing Your Will on Your Kids
Conflict of interest creates disunity in a family. Parents assume they know what suits their kids best, without considering their kid’s opinions. That’s wrong, it kills a child’s creativity and freedom. Furthermore, it also steals their happiness.
Yes! You have a right to make choices for your kids, still, that be open to hearing theirs. Instead of imposing, attempt in convincing them with reasons why their choice may not profit them and how yours would benefit them more. For instance, instead of imposing your choice of career on them, ask them their ambitions.
3. Do Not Compare Your Kids!
Comparing your kids to someone is one of the biggest parenting mistakes to avoid. Psychologically when you compare your child to others or their siblings you’re hampering their performance most especially academically. As a present cultivate the habit of embracing and celebrating your kid’s uniqueness. Do you want your child to improve? If yes, make them believe in themselves by showing how proud you are of them.
Malam Usman and his wife had a son who experiences difficulty in spelling and reading fluently. Whereas, his younger siblings were exceptionally brilliant. Rather than comparing him, perhaps highlighting his disability, they chose to encourage him and got him an English tutor, which is the right way to raise a child with a disability.
To their amazement, he picked up so fast and became eloquent in spelling and reading. If you observe closely, this couple didn’t pressure their son through comparison. Employ these tactics as a parent.
4. One Mistake You Could Do as a Parent Is Not Leading by Example
This is another parenting mistake to avoid when handling your kids. As a parent, know that you’re a role model to your kids. Don’t expect them to do as you say while they watch you do the opposite. The way you live your life as a parent is reflected in the upbringing of your kids.
There are certain behaviours, you shouldn’t display in front of your kids, such as quarreling as a couple. It’s wrong and destabilizes your kids. I advise if there is a misunderstanding between you and your partner learn to settle it in private and not in the presence of your kids.
Also, avoid taking hard drugs or harmful substances while telling your kids they are hazardous to their health. Lead by example as a parent, not by mare instructions.
5. It’s Wrong to Ignore Your Kids Passion
Kids are creative and love to explore. As loving parents, one of the gifts you can offer to your child is supporting and promoting their passion, this can be artworks, crafts, singing, dancing, writing, and more. How then can you support them and become their biggest fan when you can’t tell where their passion lies?
Most times, they even walk up to you and showcase their talents. How do you react as a parent? Let’s see, you push them aside, give flimsy excuses, show less interest, ask them to stop bothering you, and come back later.
All these behaviours are parenting mistakes to avoid as much as possible. Next time, when your kid walks up to you, suspend whatever you’re doing at the moment and show some concern. This includes their school work.
6. Extreme Punishment and Under-discipline
Parents often find it conflicting to differentiate between disciplining and punishing their kids. Of course, when they do what’s wrong they should be corrected appropriately, that draws their attention to why they are being punished. However, in that process, some parents may end up inflicting injuries on their children due to anger. It isn’t profitable to discipline a child out of anger it often results in something outrageous.
In that case, how should you discipline your kids? It is simple, corporal punishment should be avoided, your punishment should be on a minimal scale.
Afterwards, sit with that child, explain why they were punished and what is expected of him next time. This must be done in love.
7. One Mistake Parents Make is Trying to Raise Perfect Kids
There isn’t any perfect being in the world. Rather there is plenty of room for improvement. That’s the mindset you need as a parent when training your kids.
The moment you begin to foresee high expectations from your kids, indirectly you’re paving the way for hatred and bitterness towards your child when they don’t meet up to your set standard.
8. Shying Away From Sex-Talk
This is one of the parenting mistakes to avoid. As a parent, if you don’t advise your kids on the right way to go about sex in our crazy world, chances are; they get to hear it from other sources which may portray sex in the wrong manner to them. I see nothing wrong in teaching your kids purity and chastity before marriage.
This advice would help your kids become better tomorrow even while they are away from you. They should learn about the consequences and damages that are involved in premarital sex and also how to keep themselves away from such.
Also, create time to advise your kids, teach them acceptable characters to imitate and the ones to discard. Train them to stand for what’s right. And no matter the circumstances they should learn not to compromise their standard.
Conclusion
Being strict with your kids is never going to change or solve anything, learn to become their best friend. Likewise, limiting your kids is another parenting mistake to avoid. Don’t confine them to the walls of your house, allow them to explore and learn other aspects of life.
Share with us other parenting mistakes you feel People should avoid.
by Fatima Sheikh | Apr 14, 2021 | Family & Parenting
Unlike most of my articles focusing on tips for adults can looking to improve their soft skills, this article is centered on building confidence in children. In my experience working with children, I have come to realize that children are very interesting beings and there is so much to learn from them than you can imagine. Unlike adults, children are free, adventurous, and confident to do what they want and how they want to. But due to lack of experience, they might require guidance from adults in their lives.
Children are recorders and they watch every move and action adults around them take then replicate that action perfectly. This stage is a very critical stage that determines the type of adult the child is going to become in the future.
As an adult or parent with children around, this sensitive stage in the lives of the children requires constant molding and mentoring. A confident child has more likelihood of being successful at handling life pressure, responsibilities, and negative emotions.
Tips on How to Grow Self-Confidence in Children
1. Be Their Role Model
Being their role model helps in building confidence in children. Be what you want your children to be. The easiest way to make children act a particular way is by being that person yourself. Show them by doing it. Don’t be afraid to show them that it is not easy, but teach them that it is normal to fail and also get up to try again. Walk the walk and see them imitate you.
2. Practice More of Positive Self-Talk
You must be kind and use soft kind words with your children. They might test your patience most of the time and it is easy to use a hurtful word on them. These words can affect their self-confidence even till adulthood.
As an adult, you have to be patient with the children and use positive kind words to encourage them. This helps in building confidence in children.
3. Ensure They Know Your Love is Unconditional
This is a tricky one and the most misunderstood tip by most adults dealing with children. Some adults believe the best way to show a child you love them is by buying them all the gifts in the world or letting them get away with everything. But the best way you can show a child love is by being present, supportive, encouraging, kindly correcting their faults and mistakes, helping them discover their potentials, and molding them to be great adults.
Make sure you let them know you love them. This always builds their self-confidence.
4. Resist Comparing Them to Others
The best way to destroy your child’s confidence is by comparing them to their siblings or other children. This always leaves a scar on the child till adulthood, making them doubt themselves and see themselves as less than others. You should know that every child is unique and beautifully made different. Treat every child in their unique way and appreciate their uniqueness.
This surely helps in building confidence in children.
5. Learners are Leaders
Children are curious and are at a stage in their lives where they enjoy learning and trying out new things. As an adult, you should imbibe the culture of learning in your child. Teach them new skills or enroll them to learn new skills. Learners are naturally ahead of their peers.
6. Failure is a Temporary Block
Teach your children that failure is part of life and the growth journey is full of stumbling blocks. The world is full of adults who cannot accept failure. So, by teaching your children to accept failure, you are building them to be confident adults.
7. Encourage Them to Be Expressive
As an African child, respect is the number one moral attribute taught and encouraged. Teach your children to be expressive in a respectable manner. Decide on strategies to use to express their feelings given their moods and feelings. This will go a long way to build confidence in your children.
Conclusion
When dealing with children and how to build their self-confidence, there are tons and tons of strategies to help them get there. Children are in a delicate stage of their lives where they can be molded to be adults with certain traits. If this stage is gotten right, they can turn out to be great adults.
I hope this article was helpful. What other ways do you think you can boost a child’s self-confidence? Share with me in the comments section below. Thank you.
by Happiness Hassan | Apr 8, 2021 | Family & Parenting
Kids are expressions of the type of family they come from. Hence, it’s easy to detect when a child is brought up from a mannered home or a disorganized home by their behaviours. It’s the responsibility of parents to teach their children the proper way to live in society. This can’t be achieved when there is no bond between parents and their kids. However, there are various activities that help increase parents bonding with kids.
What Activities Increases the Bond Between Parents and Their Children?
1. Deactivate The Strict Mode
Parents in an attempt to discipline their children put on strict, unapproachable looks, most especially fathers. They believe such looks increase the level of honour and respect received from their children. However, this approach imprints fear into your kids and creates separation. Along the line, your kids become secretive about what’s going wrong with them, perhaps share with someone else.
Amina was sexually abused severally by her class teacher who claimed to tutor her for her entrance exams. Amina had no one to run to, not even her mom due to her parent’s unapproachable looks. She decided to retaliate and amid the struggle, he slammed her head against the metal door, she slumped and started bleeding profusely. Amina was taken to the hospital, where she regained her consciousness having received intense treatment.
Afterwards, the doctor discovered other damages done to her reproductive organs. Hence, he called her parents into his office and told them about their daughter’s conditions. Right in front of the doctors, her dad flared up in anger ready to bounce on Amina for living a promiscuous lifestyle at such a tender age.
However, the doctor who had earlier discussed with Amina calmed her parents and further explained how their daughter found herself in such a mess because of their strict behaviour towards her. As parents, they weren’t open to their daughter and that made her secretive about the issue. In essence, become free with your kids to prevent unfortunate future events.
2. Set Rules and Boundaries
This is an antidote to being strict with your kids. It’s helpful when rules are set to regulate your children’s activities. It makes them believe you care for them and want the best for them. For instance, permit your kids to go out and hang out with their friends at a stipulated time.
Due to the boundaries, they tend to return home on time with so much joy to share their experience with you. Hence, to know more about your kids don’t restrict or confine them within the walls of your house.
3. Play With Your Kids
Furthermore, parents bonding with kids is made easier when they play together with their kids. It is true children prefer to hang out with their peers compared to their parents, but it is made possible through the activities they engage in with their parents at home. The togetherness with your kids is strengthened when you play with them.
Such activities could include playing games, visiting recreational places, engaging in sporting activities, and lots more help to foster the bond.
4. Consider Their Opinions
Parents feel they know what’s best for their kids. However, to enhance the bond with your kids consider their perspectives. Be slow to shut them up without hearing the reason behind their choice.
Denying your kids of their freedom of choice decreases their creativity.
Hence, as responsible parents always support your kids. Perhaps, you perceive their choice might endanger them, make them understand through the application of the 7 C’s of communication.
5. Eat Together as a Family
As a family, the bond of love and unity is ignited when eating together. This provides a platform to boost the bond of love. Also, loosen the atmosphere a bit by complementing the meal and some table jokes.
Preferably, during this period offer to dish out the meal for your kids and observe their reaction while they eat. This is particularly more active during breakfast and dinner.
6. Show Love by Saying It
Never assume your kids know how much you love them by paying their bills. Move a step higher and show love through gifts, shopping together, helping with their school works, and engaging in craft activities together. Also, cultivate the habit of cuddling and patting your kids.
Most importantly tell them you love them countless times a day. Show your kids more love when they fail at doing something new, your act of love has the power to encourage them to try again and better. This will help parents in bonding well with their kids.
7. Prioritize Bedtime Stories
This might appear irrelevant, but it works accurately and it’s an effective method that boosts parents bonding with kids. Some of the benefits of bedtime stories include; learning moral lessons, increasing cognitive skills and more.
Seize their bedtime period, hop in bed with them, tell them a story, and say a word of prayers before leaving.
Fortunately, during bedtime stories, kids get to relax and open up to you about how their day went and things bothering them. Therefore, cherish bedtime stories.
8. Work Together With Your Kids
You would get to know more about your kids when you allow them to help around with the house chores. Instead of doing it all alone while your kids stay and watch you or play games, invite them to help you. Give them chores to work on.
Don’t feel as though you are stressing them out. I tell you, it’s a perfect way of grooming your kids to be hardworking and also drawing them closer to you, thereby increasing the bond with them.
9. Teach Them About Their Faith
Don’t abandon your kids to the teaching received from school or a nanny only, although nothing is wrong with learning from school. But, the knowledge communicated is limited and would not expatiate into their faith and belief systems.
Therefore, create time, probably thrice a week to sit with them and discuss at length the things you as a parent believes. This practice opens your kids to other perspectives.
10. Spend Quality Time With Your Kids
Always spend quality time with your kids by balancing your schedule. It is one way to enhance bonding with. When you claim to be busy for your kids they become vulnerable to improper advice from peers and other mediums.
In addition, parents bonding with kids is achievable when you’re always there for them. Most importantly, listen to their needs, and provide a solution to their problem.
Also, Practice a heart-heart chat once in a while with your kids.
11. Minimize Corporal Punishment
Raising kids is tasking to do, as a result of this most parents employ corporal punishment to discipline their children, when they go astray from the expected way of behaviour. However, corporal punishment indirectly creates a separation between you and your kids.
In essence, the level of discipline you give to your children should be maximized, don’t inflict injuries on your child in a bit to punish them for their wrong.
Conclusion
A strong bond between you and your kids can either increase or decrease based on how you treat and interact with your kids. Hence, the above-mentioned steps are ways of boosting the chances of parents bonding with kids. However, don’t become extremely lenient to correct them, to combat this, endeavour to set rules and guidelines to govern your relationship with your kids.
Finally, don’t forget to drop your comments regarding this post below.
