by Aisha Zakari | Sep 15, 2021 | Travel & Leisure
When considering what top 10 essential travel items to add to your travel bag for a trip or a holiday, it can be overwhelming in the blink of an eye. You’re conscious and confused about what to include and what not to, what is needed the most and the least. You most definitely don’t want to forget something so you don’t buy them when you get to your destination –planning on staying budget-friendly.
Relax! I’m here for you. In this post, I’ll be sharing with you the all-time travel essentials you need to make that packing easy.
Essential Travel Items You Should Always Pack When Travelling
1. Earpiece/plug
This is my all-time favourite and go-to when planning to embark on any journey. They are essential as they help to block out noise from strangers and also for entertainment.
With these also, you could get an amount of sleep to rest before you get to your final destination.
2. PowerBank
This is very vital when travelling as there won’t be any source of power when you are miles away from home till you get to your desired destination. But with this power source, you’re just a plug away from what’s going on around the world, social media and of course, just a call away from friends and family.
Thank you technology, right?!
3. First aid-kit
First aid kit could just be pain relief and anti-nausea medications that help in relieving migraine or headache, nausea. When filling up that bag, the top 10 essential travel items must include a pack of Ibuprofen, Panadol/Paracetamol and Diclofenac.
What else do you think should be included in a first aid kit while travelling?
4. Towel
This is mostly forgotten when packing for a trip or a holiday. Like I mean, are you planning on not bathing? Towels are essential in keeping your body clean and fresh after a bath and they are lightweight. You could pack two if you can, or just one is okay.
5. Flip flops
Carrying these is a proven way to enjoying your stay when you get to your desired destination. It could be flip flops, crocs or any comfortable shoes you can walk freely with.
I suggest waterproof flops or a crocs cause of the rain. You never can tell.
6. Water bottle
Stay hydrated on the go! This is an essential item when travelling and in our daily lives also. Place water in your carrier bag or in hand and stay hydrated.
7. Toothbrush and Toothpaste
As the name implies, this is very important when travelling. Unless you intend to spend on buying new ones, you could just take them from your closet and add them to your travelling bag.
8. Underwear and shorts
These are essential for comfort and are very versatile. Shorts are quite easy as this gives you the feeling of home and of course, relaxation.
Remember to add these travel essentials to your luggage when taking that next vacation or trip.
9. Clothes
Okay, you’re not planning on wearing just underwear, are you? I know I said they are top 10 essential travel items for comfort but what about style? Make sure to pack enough clothes to make you look stunning on your trip.
Don’t forget to take a pose for the camera too.
10. Cosmetics
These are your everyday essentials to keep your body hydrated and moisturized. Don’t forget to add this to your luggage and include a quality sunscreen plus a good deodorant and perfume.
Smell nice please me avoid hyperpigmentation by using sunscreen.
Conclusion
Travelling is pure ecstasy and bliss we must indulge in our lives when we can. These top 10 essential travel items should be your go-to always when planning that trip or holiday and should be included in your luggage.
For more advanced essential items for international and in-flight experience, you should check this out.
by Abu Hafsah | Sep 13, 2021 | Personal Growth
There are two types of workers in a workplace, the boss and their subordinates. Whichever one you are, do you wish to know how to get people to like you at work? Of course, I know yes.
Your workplace is where you spend a better part of your day at. Since that’s the case, you would want to make a good or habitable place for yourself so that you could be happy. You can be happy only when you’re being liked by your co-workers, subordinates, or heads.
To be more likeable in your workplace, you need to know and have some attributes that will make it very difficult for your boss, co-workers, or your subordinates not to like you. Let’s go through them one after the other.
11 Ways to Be More Likeable at Work
1. Be Yourself
One of the ways to get people to like you at work is by being yourself and nobody else. You being the boss or a subordinate, never try to be who you are not in all ways. As the boss, your co-workers will see you as irresponsible and as a subordinate, your co-workers and boss will see you as fake and will tend not to like you, even those with your kind of attitude! You wouldn’t want that, would you?
Let them like you for who you are. You don’t have to be fake about yourself. Be real!
2. Be Consistent
You are said to be consistent if you tend to always behave in the same way, have the same attitudes towards people and things, or achieve the same or higher level of success in things you do.
Whatever you do (as the boss or subordinate), ensure that nothing stops you from being consistent at your work. Everyone loves people who are consistent in doing something as long as it is positive, except for a crazy few. Your co-workers will like you, your boss will like you, and the entire management will like you. Some of your co-workers could take you as their mentor and always be looking up to you in everything related to the work that they do.
3. Avoid Distractions
When thinking of how to get people to like you at work, stay or put away anything or anyone that may tend to distract you from discharging your duties effectively. Mobile phones are the number one way of distracting people from working. Therefore, keep your phones most of the time away from you, make and answer only phone calls that are important or related to your work.
If there happens to be this cute guy or beautiful lady co-worker you’ve been eyeing or attracted to, you need to try and focus less on them. You could change the position of your desk if it happens to be positioned facing theirs. Your head should always be on what you are doing if they happen to be passing by you, or when they do that regularly.
Just find a positive way. Your boss and co-workers will see you as professional.
4. Be Professional
Being professional at work means you being reliable, setting your high standards, and indicating or showing that you care very much about your job and how you relate with your boss or co-workers. It also involves you being organized, industrious, and holding yourself accountable for any mistake committed by you as a result of your actions, words, or thoughts.
Always have the interest of your job at heart. Anything related to the job should be given top priority. Refrain from calling people by their nicknames, but rather, their names. They will like you.
5. To Get People to Like You at Work, Be Friendly
Being friendly to your co-workers or subordinates is one of the ‘hows’ to get people to like you at work. Make yourself approachable for them whenever they need your help, assistance, or advice on something related to work, or even outside of it. Let everyone be your friend and be sure to have different comfort zones for each co-worker or subordinate depending on their attitudes. This is will earn you respect and likes by if not all, the majority of your co-workers and heads in the organization or workplace.
However, do not be too friendly that your co-workers will see you as unserious, after all, too much of everything is bad. And as the boss, do not be too bossy, be something in between hard and soft.
6. Be Diligent with Work
You should endeavour to have or show care and conscientiousness in your work or duties. This isn’t common in workplaces in Nigeria, most especially government-owned. You don’t need to be like everyone, always be different in a positive way. Do things the right way regardless of how pressured you are to do them.
This will make others, who aren’t like you, want to be like you, and others like you, like you more.
7. Mind Your Business
Justice means minding one’s own business and not meddling with other men’s concerns.
Plato
How to get people to like you at work? Focus only on works assigned to you and do not go beyond your area of jurisdiction. Do not interfere or meddle in other peoples’ affairs, except when invited. In that case, you should do the needful.
Looking for one of the ways to get people to like you at work? This is.
8. How to Get People to Like You at Work? Be Punctual
One of the ways to get people to like you at work is by being punctual in everything that you do. Most Nigerians are known to be not punctual in almost every aspect of their lives. If they have the chance, they come to work way after the reporting time and leave before the closing time. You for one shouldn’t do that.
Endeavour to always arrive at the right time, and close at the stipulated time. There may be some that will tag you as ‘over sabi’, don’t be discouraged, they want to be like you deep within them, but have not the balls to be so. This will make people at your work envy, like, and want to be like you.
9. Be Honest and Truthful
You are said to be truthful if you are reliable, taken seriously, respected, honoured, and endowed with a reputation. In this context, honesty and truthfulness are synonymous.
Always say the truth and nothing but the truth. Do not be deceptive to your boss or co-workers. Say, something got spoilt and your boss asks who was behind it, say you are if you were. Perhaps, the boss may get angry and react unbearably, but then, they will love your spirit of truthfulness. Now, whenever anything or a role comes up and is required to be handled or headed by a truthful person, you may be number one on their list.
Being truthful should be an outfit that everyone should wear within and outside of the workplace.
10. Be Caring
Be someone that shows kindness or concern about your colleagues. Don’t be indifferent. Congratulate your co-workers when they are promoted, advise them when they make mistakes, speak kindly to them in general and when they are been scolded by their superiors, show concern when an unpleasant thing happens to them at work or outside of work, and all that. Always make compliments where necessary.
When you are caring, you do not need to bother on how to get people to like you at work because they will. No doubt about it.
11. Avoid Unpleasant Competition
Competition is something one can hardly avoid at workplaces when you find yourself in a situation in a competitive workplace, like the banking job or you being a sales representative.
Some are pleasant while others aren’t. It is said to be pleasant when the parties competing have no grudges against each other whatsoever to attain a position, while it is said to be unpleasant when the reverse is the case. Avoid being in an unpleasant competition with your co-workers. Don’t mind them when they have grudges on you, just do your thing. If you succeed, fine, if you don’t, also fine.
When your boss or co-worker sees you like that, the respect they have for you will skyrocket
Conclusion
People like to be loved by everyone, except for a few abnormal ones who don’t. The above-mentioned points will go a long way in helping you get loved by everyone or the majority in your workplace.
Are you still worrying about how to get people to like you at work? I guess not anymore.
Tell me what you think about this write-up in the comments section and tell me if I missed out on any important point. Thank you.
Related: 11 Things You Should Do in an Interview (and 7 You Should Avoid).
by Ajibike Maryam Olaitan | Sep 12, 2021 | Health & Wellness
Just as It sucks to sometimes get up in the morning and your bones decide to do their own thing, so also is it really frustrating to not be able to do the things you want to do; to take cold things because the weather calls for it, to play football because you have passion for it, or to be spontaneous.
Whether you are living with sickle cell or you know someone who has sickle cell, you already know that it requires a lot of strength and motivation. We all know how crazy it is to constantly be on medication ranging from folic acid (the smell alone is enough to knock you out), ibuprofen, and many others. The excruciating pain that gets you tied down in the hospital bed for days, weeks, and even months. You need some sort of motivation and inspiration to keep moving.
This is why I have put together some sickle cell quotes to inspire you to live life not just as a sickle cell patient but as someone who has a lot to achieve. These sickle cell quotes are by warriors like you, like me, like all of us, who have deemed it fit to inspire us with their great words.
You might think you don’t need these sickle cell awareness quotes because you are not a sickle cell patient or no one in your family is, but the truth is that whether or not you are a sickle cell patient, as long as a friend, a classmate or a colleague is one, then you need these quotes to help the person through the journey of life.
As we are in the month of sickle cell awareness, it is important to have inspiring quotes for all the sickle cell patients, for all the warriors/fighters. Sharing these quotes is one of the things to do in sickle cell awareness month.
Quotes for Sickle Cell Warriors
1. Being a survivor doesn’t mean being strong-its telling people when you need a meal or a ride, company, whatever. It’s paying attention to heart, wisdom, feelings, not living a role but having a unique, authentic life, having something to contribute, finding time to love and laugh. All these things are qualities of survivors.
Bernie Siegel
2. You recognize a survivor when you see one. You recognize a fighter when you see one.
Elizabeth Edwards
3. Life isn’t perfect. When you get a knock, you have to get up, dust yourself down and get on with it.
Patsy Kensit
4. What makes people resilient is the ability to find humour and irony in on situations that would otherwise overcome you.
Amy Tan
5. And feast on the dead, I thought with a shudder. As if he could read my thoughts, he passed a hand to my shoulder. His fingers were long and white, splaying over my arm like a waxen spider. If the gesture was meant to comfort me. It failed.
Leigh Bardugo
6. One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles possesses the only strength which can overcome adversity.
Albert Schweitzer
7. Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition-such as lifting weights-we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity.
Stephen Covey
8. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.
William James
9. When faced with a challenge, happy families, like happy people, just add a new chapter to their life story that shows them overcoming the hardship.
Bruce Feiler
10. Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.
Helen Keller
11. If you are faced with a mountain, you have several options. You can climb it and cross to the other side. You can go around it. You can dig under it. You can fly over it. You can blow it up. You can ignore it and pretend it’s not there. You can turn around and go back the way you came. Or you can stay on the mountain and make it your home.
Vera Nazarian
12. The future will present insurmountable problems- only when we consider them insurmountable.
Thomas S. Monson
13. I don’t intend to let (sickle cell) keep me from doing the things I love to do, that make me who I am. You can call that stubborn but I just call it living.
Tionne T-Boz Watkins
14. Nobody looks good in their darkest hour. But it’s those hours that make us what we are. We stand strong, or we cower. We emerge victorious, tempered by our trials, or fractured by a permanent damning fault line.
Karen Marie Moning
15. The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.
Molière
16. Those who don’t know how to suffer are the worst off. There are times when the only correct thing we can do is to bear out troubles until a better day.
Deng Ming-Dao
17. I am more than my scars.
Andrew Davidson
18. As a warrior, you can be whatever and whomever you want to be. Don’t limit yourself.
Joan Jonah
19. If you expect life to be easy, challenges will seem difficult. If you accept that challenges may occur, life will be easier.
Rob Liano
20. There is no chance, no fate, no destiny that can circumvent, or hinder, or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.
Hyrum Smith
21. Thriving. That’s fighting… Surviving is barely getting by.
Jillian Michaels
22. Confidence, courage and determined spirit are vital for surviving hard times.
Lailah Gifty Akita
23. If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.
Dr Martin Luther King Jr
24. Armed with my positive attitude and inherent stubborn nature, I keep my mind focused and my life moving forward. I stop to rest, pout and even cry sometimes, but always, I get back up. Life is giving me this challenge and I will plow through it, out of breath with my heart racing if I have to.
Amy B. Scher
25. Most people live in fear of some terrible event changing their lives, the death of a loved one or a serious illness. For the chronically ill, this terrible event has already happened, and we have been let in on an amazing secret: You survive. You adapt, and your life changes, but in the end you go on, with whatever compromises you have been forced to make, whatever losses you have been forced to endure. You learn to balance your fears with the simple truth that you must go on living.
Jamie Weisman
26. You are not weak because of your illness. You did not fail treatment, the treatment failed you. Your illness is not your fault, you did not cause this. You are not a failure, you are a warrior.
Lupie Linda
27. As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation-either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.
Martin Luther King Jr
28. Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls.
Khalil Gibran
29. The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known toss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people don’t just happen.
Elizabeth Kubler Ros
30. I am strong and determined. I am brilliant and beautiful. I am an educator and an advocate. I am not defined by a diagnosis, nor will I submit to a stereotype. I insist upon compassionate care, adequate pain, control and respectful communication. When a crisis brings me to my knees, I will nurse my wounds, dust my knees off, and keep on fighting. When a warrior is lost, I will grieve that loss and fight that much harder. I am beautifully and wonderfully made. I am a sickle cell warrior. Take a moment, enjoy the awesome.
Kiea
Finally, to add to the above sickle cell quotes, I would like to share with you this beautiful poem written by Nana Kofi Acheamfour and Kerry Lewis, dedicated to all sickle cell warriors.
Sickle Cell Poem
I AM A WARRIOR.
The road to success may be rough,
But I will never fall.
For every situation, I WILL stand tall.
Crisis and disappointment will not discourage me,
at all.
I AM A WARRIOR.
I may stumble along the way,
But in myself, I shall always believe,
I will not let the pain and fatigue
Stand in the way of all that I can achieve
I AM A WARRIOR.
The battle chose me,
But it is not Mine.
With my Savior and family beside me
I will continuously shine.
Today, I may be down and in pain,
But know that tomorrow I shall rise again.
I may sometimes have weaker feet,
but I will never ever retreat.
With courage and determination,
I will reach my destination
Because…… I AM A WARRIOR!
by Abu Hafsah | Sep 10, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
Breakups can be very frustrating and depressing. Although some breakups are healthy ones, others can be disastrous; some can be intentional, by mistake or misunderstanding; some could also be your fault and some not. Do you want to win them back? If yes, no problem, just stay with me as I guide you on the ways to get your ex to want you back.
11 Ways to Get Your Ex to Want You Back
1. Make up Your Mind
When your mind is focused and made up, you don’t make excuses. You try. If you fail you try again.
Louis Farrakhan
Like I always say, making up your mind towards trying to achieve something is the first thing to do after considering it. So, make it your goal to get that person no matter what and be optimistic about it. Always remember that you will get nowhere by not trying no matter how difficult it may seem. Don’t linger, don’t fret, just go for it.
Remember, you’ve got one advantage, ‘you were once theirs’ and who knows? They may already want you back! As said:
Make up your mind, Snail! You are half inside your house, and halfway out!
Richard Wright
2. You Want Them Back? Begin to Do Things Yourself
Be independent of them.
One of the ways to get your ex to want you back is by beginning to do things yourself if you happened to be someone who was overly dependent or reliant on them to get things done during your broken relationship. Let them see that you can live comfortably without them. That will surely make them begin to see your worth. By just that, they may start considering you back. Isn’t that what you want?
Always remember, nobody… I mean, nobody wants to be dependent on except when it becomes necessary, like that of parents to their children.
3. Dress Well and Smell Nice
Oh, God! Have you any idea how dressing well and smelling nice can get you any lady or guy? If you don’t, you’re welcome. Dressing and smelling nice is how you should always be whether or not you are in a relationship, but it’s a plus when you are trying to get someone’s attention.
Whenever you’re going to be anywhere around them – like going to work, school or class (if you work, school or attend lectures together), you are going to their house or neighbourhood or any place you are sure they are most likely to be there, be sure you are well dressed and smell nice.
Put on that kind of outfit that you know they like. Be elegant, dress to kill, and look very responsible as you do so. Anything is ok as long as you make it hard to be ignored or get unnoticed by them, positively. It’s surely one of the ways to get your ex to want you back.
4. Stop Acknowledging Their Presence
This is applicable in situations where you had always wanted to be close to them in any way during your broken relationship. Who knows? Perhaps, this habit of yours was what pushed away them in the first place. Even if you weren’t like that, that’s no problem, just make them look less or not important.
When you meet anywhere, whether or not you planned it, do not acknowledge their presence. Do not say things like ‘you look beautiful’, ‘you look takeaway’, or say ‘I miss you’ mistakenly however tempting it may be. Hahaha. If you do that, they will feel important and my dear, you have lost your shot; balance, and aim again next time.
5. Show Them You Care
If you want them back, show them lots of care. Be always there when they need someone, someone LIKE YOU. Never relent on doing or saying anything they show you they want. Try cooking a delicious meal for them – their favourite most preferably, be their first good morning and their last good night. If possible, visit whenever something good or unfortunate happens to them, visit their parents if you can still do that, just anything. Do anything positive to show them they are still well cared for by you.
Doing so will not only score you a chance of winning their heart back, but they get to value you way more than they did before. I guarantee this one of the ways to get your ex to want you back for you.
6. Be Scarce
One of the ways to get your ex to want you back is by being scarce. Scarcity creates value or importance. You don’t know that? Now you do! Do not avail yourself to them at all times. Sometimes, what or who you see too often, tends to be of less importance to you – you know that to be true, but when they are not always available at your disposal, their value increases in your sight.
Therefore, do not make yourself available in their presence no matter how hard you want to do that, no matter how difficult it is for your heart as your endures. Just keep at it. The end result will definitely be worth the patience or endurance. That’s how it is.
So, be scarce!
7. Begin to Do Things They Like and Avoid Things They Don’t
Recall what you may have done that ended the relationship, or what they have always wanted you to do that you don’t do. Recall those moments that you hurt them as a result of your actions. Try not to miss every single detail.
When you do, prepare your mind to be a changed person with regards to that. Begin to do things they like and avoid things they do not like. Remember, the heart will almost always want the person who likes what they like and vice versa.
However, if you sincerely know that the breakup wasn’t your fault, then all you need to do is continue to be you and adjust to those things that they don’t like. That way, they will miss being with you and it’s only a matter of time before they come your way, again.
8. Be Smarter Than They Know
Is it just me? But there is something about smart people that makes me attracted to them. Try to improve on your intelligence. If they know you to be this intelligent, be that intelligent, and if they know you to have a low IQ, try and improve by reading books on intelligence, study quotes on intelligence, watch movies related to that, take online courses and the likes.
This may take a long time before it begins to manifest, but you can try, most especially, if you are enjoying the breakup at the moment, but will consider them in the future. Chances are, they are already noticing you, and that’s good.
Don’t worry even if you don’t get them back, at least, you have raised your personal and societal status by being more intelligent. This is surely one of the ways to get your ex to want you back.
9. Want to Get Them Back? Flirt With Them
This is strictly for divorcees I suggest. You don’t want to flirt with them if you never were married to them before, would you? They may look down on you. But for divorcees, this may be a very good opportunity to shoot your shot.
You already know them very well; what they like and how they react to flirtations. Use that to your advantage. Executing that through phone-calling could not be as effective as sexting. Send them that kind of flirty message that will make them want to touch you so badly.
Flirting with them a little will be of no harm. Try it.
10. Contact Them Less Often
One of the ways to get your ex to want you back is by reducing the number of times you call them, or not even calling them at all, depending on the situation. Even if you feel the urge to because you really want to hear from them, DON’T. When you feel the need to visit them as usual, also DON’T. Let them miss your presence, your voice, your sarcasm, your sense of humour, your personality, and all that.
11. Get a Partner or Pretend to Have One
Make them crazily jealous.
Is there that someone whom they know has been crushing on you while you two were together? Consider them. Is there that friend of theirs that has been wanting to get your attention? Consider them. Sounds cruel right? Look at it carefully, it doesn’t. Remember the situation they’ve put you in and you will see reasons why this is an option for you if you want them back. If you are just acting and not serious, be a very good actor. Ensure all the tracks that may lead them to find out you’ve been acting are well blocked.
If they know, they will get really jealous and my dear, that feeling could trigger the love they once had for you. Now, you will be left to decide whether or not to end your present relationship or stop acting. If the former is the case, decide with caution.
Conclusion
Not all ways mentioned above are suitable at all times. They are dependent on how you want them back – is it because you still love them and the breakup was your fault, or you love them and the breakup wasn’t your fault? For instance, you can’t ‘show them care’ if they broke up with you for no reason or for the wrong reason(s). That’s showing low self-esteem. And you can’t be ‘scarce’ when the breakup was actually your fault. Make sure to use the one that suits your situation best.
If you find this article to be interesting or helpful, drop a comment in the comments section. And if you feel something was left out, kindly tell as well. Thank you.
Related: 7 Proven Ways to Get Over Your Ex and 13 Ways to Get Someone Love You.
by Abu Hafsah | Sep 9, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
Romance is a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love: It is that feeling that a person feels for their partner that keeps the relationship going smoothly. Why Hausa men are not romantic? Consider this story:
Shafiu’s fiancé was having difficulty trying to get something done over the internet which she needed so badly. Though, he was very sick, still got up and went straight to her place because it has to be done in her presence. On his arrival, he received no proper appreciation but still went on to accomplish the task. After finishing the task, still no proper appreciation – just a normal ‘thank you’. She just acted like it was a normal thing, without properly acknowledging his efforts. Initially, he wanted to stay with her for a few more minutes to enjoy her company, but her actions made him upset, so he left almost immediately.
Why Hausa men are not romantic could be as a result of some factors – some obvious, some not. However, some Hausa men are on the opposite side of the coin. Here are some reasons worth noting:
9 Reasons Why Hausa Men Are Not Romantic
1. Environmental Influence
The theory of determinism states that “the environment has a great role to play in the way a human thinks, behaves or acts”.
Frankly speaking, in the northern part of Nigeria particularly among the Hausa, most Hausa men have little or no regard for women. They see women as too cheap and vulnerable, thereby, treat them badly. This is contrary to the teachings of the two most practiced religions (Islam and Christianity) in that part of the country.
You only value or be romantic to someone you cherish and see their worth. One that was born and brought up, or grew up in that kind of environment, will tend to exhibit that without seeing any wrong in it.
2. Poverty
Poverty is the state of not having enough material possessions or income for a person’s basic needs. Absolute poverty is the complete lack of the means necessary to meet basic personal needs such as food, clothing, and shelter.
It is very evident that Northern Nigeria is the most poverty-stricken part of the country, and Hausas are the most affected. Hausa men are the poorest people in that part of the country. As the saying goes, “a hungry man is an angry man” and when one is angry, being romantic is the last thing on their mind.
In Aisha’s words:
Any day my husband comes back from work with no money, I hardly understand him because he becomes very unfriendly.
3. Wives’ Behaviour
The love that one may have for you depends greatly on your attitude, mostly. With love, comes romance. The reason why Hausa men are unromantic owes to the behaviour and attitude of some Hausa women. Hausa women’s attitude towards their husbands can be unbearable; they are short in manners of approach, hardly assist their husbands financially, and are mostly ungrateful.
Refer to my article on 8 Things to Know Before You Marry a Hausa Lady.
Their husbands’ behaviour is a mirror of their behaviours.
4. Unromantic Female Partners
A typical Hausa lady is very unromantic. This is because they are socially and educationally backward. It is so unfortunate that some parents in the North still believe that education is just for men and women are restricted to their parents’ homes or husbands’ houses. Their little or no exposure to the outside world is a major cause.
Some of them despise putting on sexy outfits for their partners to see and admire. They see it as immorality. How backward can that thinking be socially and religiously?
Now, when you are not romantic to your boyfriend or husband, how do you expect them to reciprocate?
5. Pride
Pride is a common thing in men but that of the Hausas is way beyond your imaginations. Why Hausa men are not romantic stems from the pride in them and little regard for women (except for the very religious ones amongst them).
The pride is so great that some of them can’t remember the last time they said “I love you” to their wives or girlfriends, they don’t hug her for no reason or celebrate her for her success.
Some of them only smile at their wives when they want to get to second base. A very close friend of mine is like that. Maryam has this to say about her husband:
I love it when my husband tells me he loves me, but he hardly does. The only thing he does when I make him happy is smile sheepishly at me or pat my back if he is close. That’s it!
6. Unnecessarily Having More Than a Wife
This also answers the question ‘why Hausa men are not romantic”. Polygamy is a very common practice in Northern Nigeria. Contrary to what people normally say, polygamy isn’t a bad practice; it’s not about a man marrying more than a wife, but about every woman having a husband.
An average Hausa man has the proclivity of taking more than a wife. Co-wives, if not properly handled, can be a truck of trouble. Misunderstandings will spring up a lot and only the husband can settle or mediate in situations like this, mostly.
Constant mediation can be very tiring as women can be very aggressive and stubborn when upset. A man coming back from work only to meet his wives fighting themselves, turning his abode into a boxing field, can’t be a happy man and so, shouldn’t be expected to be romantic.
7. Too Much Workload
Aside from poverty, too much responsibility could be a reason why Hausa men a not romantic. As the breadwinner of a family, you not only take care of your immediate family, you also have your parents, siblings, some needy relatives, and some orphans left by your siblings to take care of. This is a common practice in Hausaland. Are you picturing what I’m trying to depict?
The aftereffect of Covid-19 is serious in the North. Prices of things in the market are skyrocketing by the day, so also utility bills, and you have such a huge family to take care of. How can you be romantic? Quite impossible you will agree with me.
8. Environmental Influence
The environment is also a reason why Hausa men are not romantic. Like we all know, the environment plays an important role in the way a man thinks, acts, talks, relates with others, and of course, loves among others.
In a typical Hausaland, display of love is something usually restricted to homes, I repeat, restricted to homes. Public Displays of Affection (PDA) is something prohibited by tradition. As a woman probably from the East or West dating a Hausa man and expecting PDA, sorry dear, very sorry. It’s not done in this part of Nigeria. If that’s one of the things you call being romantic, you had better scrap it off your mind today because you aren’t getting that, sis.
9. Their Parents’ Relationship
A worth noting reason why Hausa men are not romantic is as a result of the kind of family they were brought up in. Every parent needs to know that how they relate with their partners and children in their home has a great impact on how their children will see ‘relationship’ or ‘family’ as. If you share so much love for instance, like hugging your partner or pecking them, hugging your son (as a mother), or hugging your daughter (as a father), your children will most likely do the same in their families, and vice-versa
Most Hausa men see that as a taboo which isn’t. Now how do you expect someone from that kind of family to be romantic in that kind of way?
Conclusion
Been romantic is highly dependent on how you feel about someone or how worthy they are to you. Sometimes, one’s attitude or mindset plays a significant role in their romantic life.
Why Hausa men are not romantic cannot be overemphasized. Some of these reasons like poverty and environmental influence are usually pre-determined and therefore, one has little or no say in them. On the other hand, pride and unnecessarily taking more than a wife can be avoided.
I hope you find this article useful. If you do, drop a comment in the comments section. Thank you.
Related: 8 Signs and Actions of Unromantic Men and How to Deal With an Unromantic Relationship.
