by Happiness Hassan | May 7, 2021 | Family & Parenting
Tolerance is crucial when grooming kids. It keeps your emotions under control and prevents you from going crazy about kids’ annoying behaviours. Its true kids don’t always obey instructions given, most times they do the opposite and mess things up. Their unconscious irritable behaviours tend to prompt anger. Anger when not recognized and controlled yields to disaster and regrets. However, when you learn how to be patient with kids you become conscious of their natures, and how to relate with them appropriately.
How to be patient with kids does not just apply to parents. If there is a likelihood of mingling with kids as you go through your daily routine then this piece applies to you.
How to Be Patient With Your Kids
1. Realize That Life is a Process
Most adults have little or no tolerance for children. They have failed to understand that life is in stages and once upon a time they were kids. Childhood is a one-time experience for everyone. Nonetheless, kids are uniquely designed to view messy stuff as fun, such as throwing objects, scattering the home, if permitted lay in the mud, and lots more. Whereas adults feel the other way, they always want things to be arranged, neat, and put in order.
The truth remains that they won’t be children forever, as years go by they grow from being childish to thinking mature. At that stage, you wouldn’t have to chase them around before they do that which is expected. They unconsciously do it. Hence, don’t ruin the childhood stage of your kids, allow them to have fun, but keep an eye on them because kids can go the extra mile.
2. Minimize Expectations
Nothing is wrong with setting goals for your kids or expecting them to come out as the best in whatever they engage in with their peers. Mostly, sports and academic work. However, if your expectations are not lessened you’ll be in for disappointment when your kids fail to meet up to your set standard.
Their failure can make them face the consequences. This method doesn’t always go right! In essence, desire the best for your kids, support them in achieving it. If they don’t, instead of being angry, celebrate them for their current level and encourage your kids to put in more effort next time. Impatience never solves a problem rather it makes you angry and discourages your kids.
3. Focus On Their Strength Instead of Weaknesses
The root cause of impatience towards kids stems from emphasizing their weaknesses. You get irritated when your attempt to change this isn’t working. To ease that feeling you give in to punishing, forcing, yelling, flogging, and restricting your kids. Instead of doing it the hard way, focus more on their strength, help build them up in their area of uniqueness. Avoid comparing them to others who are better. When they advance in their strength their weaknesses begin to diminish.
4. Here is the Magic
Usman is 10years of age and a talented artist. His skills were admired by all. However, his passion begins to fade away due to no support from his parents and siblings. This was because he engages in bedwetting when asleep. Usman was called all hideous names and punished. Yet, he continued bedwetting. One day, a friend of his mother came to visit and told his mom a secret on how to be patient with kids.
His mom sat the entire family and further explained the method her friend advised her. From henceforth, rather than calling Usman names they all supported and encouraged his skills. They made statements like; “Usman is the best artist in the world” “The best artist doesn’t wet the bed”. To their amazement as they continued Usman gradually stopped bedwetting. So, building kids in the area of their strength is the fastest route to eliminating their weaknesses. You should try that!
5. Practice Patient at Other Things.
Your impatience with your kids might be a reflection of your lack of tolerance for other things. If you’re the type who gets angry at slight provocation, obviously your kid’s behaviour won’t make any difference. Stop retaliating when your kids mess things up and learn how to recognize your emotions and manage them. If you’re able to get your emotions under your control you would be more patient with other people and things; at work, within your neighbourhood, towards friends and your kids.
In addition, when stressed out, take time out, away from work and kids to prevent the transfer of aggression.
6. Put Yourself in Your Kids Shoes
How would you feel when you’re being punished for what you feel is right? Or yelled at? Or forced to go against your will? Or restricted from exploring? Certainly, you won’t feel happy or comfortable about it, you would feel deprived of your right. Now!
That’s exactly the way your kids think and feel when you’re not patient with them. Hence, before making them face the consequences of their actions, picture yourself in their shoes. This method would help you do the right thing.
7. Listen and Talk Things Out
Parents rarely get to listen to their kids, to know the reasons behind certain actions before passing judgment on them. You begin to understand your kids more as you pay attention to them and listen to what they have to say. Don’t be quick to punish them. You should sit them down and talk things out. Having heard their explanations. It’s your responsibility to make them know that what they did was wrong and also tell them what’s expected of them next time. Let them know the reason why you yelled at them or spanked them. This will help them avoid such mistakes next time.
Conclusion
How to be patient with kids will require great love for kids to scale through. Your love for them often regulates your emotions which includes impatience towards your kids. As a parent, you need to learn about activities that increase the bond with your kids. Also, parenting mistakes should be avoided. In addition, apologize more often whenever you lose control of your emotions towards your kids.
In addition, share your views regarding how to be patient with kids in the comment section below.
by Fatima Sheikh | Apr 14, 2021 | Family & Parenting
Unlike most of my articles focusing on tips for adults can looking to improve their soft skills, this article is centered on building confidence in children. In my experience working with children, I have come to realize that children are very interesting beings and there is so much to learn from them than you can imagine. Unlike adults, children are free, adventurous, and confident to do what they want and how they want to. But due to lack of experience, they might require guidance from adults in their lives.
Children are recorders and they watch every move and action adults around them take then replicate that action perfectly. This stage is a very critical stage that determines the type of adult the child is going to become in the future.
As an adult or parent with children around, this sensitive stage in the lives of the children requires constant molding and mentoring. A confident child has more likelihood of being successful at handling life pressure, responsibilities, and negative emotions.
Tips on How to Grow Self-Confidence in Children
1. Be Their Role Model
Being their role model helps in building confidence in children. Be what you want your children to be. The easiest way to make children act a particular way is by being that person yourself. Show them by doing it. Don’t be afraid to show them that it is not easy, but teach them that it is normal to fail and also get up to try again. Walk the walk and see them imitate you.
2. Practice More of Positive Self-Talk
You must be kind and use soft kind words with your children. They might test your patience most of the time and it is easy to use a hurtful word on them. These words can affect their self-confidence even till adulthood.
As an adult, you have to be patient with the children and use positive kind words to encourage them. This helps in building confidence in children.
3. Ensure They Know Your Love is Unconditional
This is a tricky one and the most misunderstood tip by most adults dealing with children. Some adults believe the best way to show a child you love them is by buying them all the gifts in the world or letting them get away with everything. But the best way you can show a child love is by being present, supportive, encouraging, kindly correcting their faults and mistakes, helping them discover their potentials, and molding them to be great adults.
Make sure you let them know you love them. This always builds their self-confidence.
4. Resist Comparing Them to Others
The best way to destroy your child’s confidence is by comparing them to their siblings or other children. This always leaves a scar on the child till adulthood, making them doubt themselves and see themselves as less than others. You should know that every child is unique and beautifully made different. Treat every child in their unique way and appreciate their uniqueness.
This surely helps in building confidence in children.
5. Learners are Leaders
Children are curious and are at a stage in their lives where they enjoy learning and trying out new things. As an adult, you should imbibe the culture of learning in your child. Teach them new skills or enroll them to learn new skills. Learners are naturally ahead of their peers.
6. Failure is a Temporary Block
Teach your children that failure is part of life and the growth journey is full of stumbling blocks. The world is full of adults who cannot accept failure. So, by teaching your children to accept failure, you are building them to be confident adults.
7. Encourage Them to Be Expressive
As an African child, respect is the number one moral attribute taught and encouraged. Teach your children to be expressive in a respectable manner. Decide on strategies to use to express their feelings given their moods and feelings. This will go a long way to build confidence in your children.
Conclusion
When dealing with children and how to build their self-confidence, there are tons and tons of strategies to help them get there. Children are in a delicate stage of their lives where they can be molded to be adults with certain traits. If this stage is gotten right, they can turn out to be great adults.
I hope this article was helpful. What other ways do you think you can boost a child’s self-confidence? Share with me in the comments section below. Thank you.
by Happiness Hassan | Apr 8, 2021 | Family & Parenting
Kids are expressions of the type of family they come from. Hence, it’s easy to detect when a child is brought up from a mannered home or a disorganized home by their behaviours. It’s the responsibility of parents to teach their children the proper way to live in society. This can’t be achieved when there is no bond between parents and their kids. However, there are various activities that help increase parents bonding with kids.
What Activities Increases the Bond Between Parents and Their Children?
1. Deactivate The Strict Mode
Parents in an attempt to discipline their children put on strict, unapproachable looks, most especially fathers. They believe such looks increase the level of honour and respect received from their children. However, this approach imprints fear into your kids and creates separation. Along the line, your kids become secretive about what’s going wrong with them, perhaps share with someone else.
Amina was sexually abused severally by her class teacher who claimed to tutor her for her entrance exams. Amina had no one to run to, not even her mom due to her parent’s unapproachable looks. She decided to retaliate and amid the struggle, he slammed her head against the metal door, she slumped and started bleeding profusely. Amina was taken to the hospital, where she regained her consciousness having received intense treatment.
Afterwards, the doctor discovered other damages done to her reproductive organs. Hence, he called her parents into his office and told them about their daughter’s conditions. Right in front of the doctors, her dad flared up in anger ready to bounce on Amina for living a promiscuous lifestyle at such a tender age.
However, the doctor who had earlier discussed with Amina calmed her parents and further explained how their daughter found herself in such a mess because of their strict behaviour towards her. As parents, they weren’t open to their daughter and that made her secretive about the issue. In essence, become free with your kids to prevent unfortunate future events.
2. Set Rules and Boundaries
This is an antidote to being strict with your kids. It’s helpful when rules are set to regulate your children’s activities. It makes them believe you care for them and want the best for them. For instance, permit your kids to go out and hang out with their friends at a stipulated time.
Due to the boundaries, they tend to return home on time with so much joy to share their experience with you. Hence, to know more about your kids don’t restrict or confine them within the walls of your house.
3. Play With Your Kids
Furthermore, parents bonding with kids is made easier when they play together with their kids. It is true children prefer to hang out with their peers compared to their parents, but it is made possible through the activities they engage in with their parents at home. The togetherness with your kids is strengthened when you play with them.
Such activities could include playing games, visiting recreational places, engaging in sporting activities, and lots more help to foster the bond.
4. Consider Their Opinions
Parents feel they know what’s best for their kids. However, to enhance the bond with your kids consider their perspectives. Be slow to shut them up without hearing the reason behind their choice.
Denying your kids of their freedom of choice decreases their creativity.
Hence, as responsible parents always support your kids. Perhaps, you perceive their choice might endanger them, make them understand through the application of the 7 C’s of communication.
5. Eat Together as a Family
As a family, the bond of love and unity is ignited when eating together. This provides a platform to boost the bond of love. Also, loosen the atmosphere a bit by complementing the meal and some table jokes.
Preferably, during this period offer to dish out the meal for your kids and observe their reaction while they eat. This is particularly more active during breakfast and dinner.
6. Show Love by Saying It
Never assume your kids know how much you love them by paying their bills. Move a step higher and show love through gifts, shopping together, helping with their school works, and engaging in craft activities together. Also, cultivate the habit of cuddling and patting your kids.
Most importantly tell them you love them countless times a day. Show your kids more love when they fail at doing something new, your act of love has the power to encourage them to try again and better. This will help parents in bonding well with their kids.
7. Prioritize Bedtime Stories
This might appear irrelevant, but it works accurately and it’s an effective method that boosts parents bonding with kids. Some of the benefits of bedtime stories include; learning moral lessons, increasing cognitive skills and more.
Seize their bedtime period, hop in bed with them, tell them a story, and say a word of prayers before leaving.
Fortunately, during bedtime stories, kids get to relax and open up to you about how their day went and things bothering them. Therefore, cherish bedtime stories.
8. Work Together With Your Kids
You would get to know more about your kids when you allow them to help around with the house chores. Instead of doing it all alone while your kids stay and watch you or play games, invite them to help you. Give them chores to work on.
Don’t feel as though you are stressing them out. I tell you, it’s a perfect way of grooming your kids to be hardworking and also drawing them closer to you, thereby increasing the bond with them.
9. Teach Them About Their Faith
Don’t abandon your kids to the teaching received from school or a nanny only, although nothing is wrong with learning from school. But, the knowledge communicated is limited and would not expatiate into their faith and belief systems.
Therefore, create time, probably thrice a week to sit with them and discuss at length the things you as a parent believes. This practice opens your kids to other perspectives.
10. Spend Quality Time With Your Kids
Always spend quality time with your kids by balancing your schedule. It is one way to enhance bonding with. When you claim to be busy for your kids they become vulnerable to improper advice from peers and other mediums.
In addition, parents bonding with kids is achievable when you’re always there for them. Most importantly, listen to their needs, and provide a solution to their problem.
Also, Practice a heart-heart chat once in a while with your kids.
11. Minimize Corporal Punishment
Raising kids is tasking to do, as a result of this most parents employ corporal punishment to discipline their children, when they go astray from the expected way of behaviour. However, corporal punishment indirectly creates a separation between you and your kids.
In essence, the level of discipline you give to your children should be maximized, don’t inflict injuries on your child in a bit to punish them for their wrong.
Conclusion
A strong bond between you and your kids can either increase or decrease based on how you treat and interact with your kids. Hence, the above-mentioned steps are ways of boosting the chances of parents bonding with kids. However, don’t become extremely lenient to correct them, to combat this, endeavour to set rules and guidelines to govern your relationship with your kids.
Finally, don’t forget to drop your comments regarding this post below.
by Happiness Hassan | Mar 1, 2021 | Family & Parenting
A large percentage of parents fail to realize that creativity is not inborn. Rather it’s learned through quality training. As a result of this, they spend their entire life criticizing their children for not performing up to their expectations. Likewise, the thought on how to encourage creativity in a child without experiencing stress keeps brooding through their minds.
Children at the tender stage are quick learners. Hence, it’s more beneficial to boost their creativity at such a stage. In this post, I will share 8 practical steps to foster your kid’s creativity.
Ways to Encourge Your Kids Creativity
1. Get Them Engaged in Creative Activities
Idleness and unproductive activities kill creativity in a child. Get your kids engaged in reasoning activities that enhance their intelligence quotient, encourage them to think outside the box, and do the extraordinary. These activities could include puzzle games, crambo, quantitative and verbal reasoning, camping, and treasure hunting.
It helps groom your child to view life from a broader perspective, outside the four walls of their classroom.
2. Encourage Freedom of Expression
Kids irrespective of their instant location love to live out their true selves, most especially amongst their peers. As a parent, your role in such a scenario is termed observation. Learn to study your kids while they display certain behaviours without scolding. The moment you scold that child fear of expression is inputted into his heart.
By observation, you detect what your child is keen about. Peradventure, you bumped into your child who had turned your living room in a trash bin with old papers, paints, and pencils used in drawing. Of course, I can relate to that initial annoyance to spank that child, seeing the mess the house looks like. Even at that, don’t shut that child up, allow him to express his creativity while you watch. In essence, it’s a pointer to your child’s interest.
3. Provide The Necessary Resources
When your child’s interest is known, step further by providing the needful resources to foster your child’s creativity. Are you parents who are interested in learning how to encourage creativity in a child? Then learn from Khadija’s story.
It was lunchtime, everyone was at the table except Khadija who was busy in her room. What could she be doing her mom ponders as she heads for her room. She had repeatedly called her name, but Khadija was engrossed with something no one knew about. On entering her room, she found her daughter stitching pieces of paper together to form little paper dresses and straps of her old dresses scattered around the room.
Khadija was so focused on what she was doing she didn’t notice the presence of her mom who watched her six-year-old daughter in amazement. Immediately, it dawns on her that Khadija was interested in fashion. The next day she ordered fabrics, buttons, sewing thread of different colours, and tape. Hence, she has succeeded in enhancing her daughter’s creativity in fashion by providing the needed resources.
4. Ask Questions
As a parent learn to stretch your child’s curiosity by asking them reasoning questions. Their imaginative faculty gets utilized as they think of answers to the questions asked. Usually, not related to the normal arithmetic and vocabulary studies in their school. Questions like; why is the sky blue and why do you have two eyes.
This set of questions deepen their curiosity as they attempt to provide an answer.
5. Show Interest in Their Creativity
To foster your child’s creativity, avoid criticizing their attempt to do something extraordinary. Always compliment your child whenever they did something good. For instance, your child walked up to you with a book containing a poem she had composed for you as a birthday present. Being a loving parent who is learning how to encourage creativity in a child, don’t start by highlighting the grammatical errors or spelling mistakes in her poem.
Rather, begin by complimenting her beautiful composition, showing how grateful you are, indicating your interest in her passion. Furthermore, don’t restrict your child’s creativity because it isn’t what you want for that child, neither should you pressure them into a career they don’t like.
6. Teach Them Different Methods of Solving Problems
Build your child’s creativity by instructing them on how to create an alternative course of action when faced with a challenge. This is perfectly illustrated in Ali’s story. This young teenager lost track of his mom in the market. However, he was able to locate his mom by putting a call through with the help of a trader’s cellphone.
In a nutshell, Ali would have spent hours crying in search of his mom, perhaps spending a night at the police station before being found by his parents. However, that wasn’t his story because before the incident his parents had taught him their respective phone numbers for emergencies.
7. Ensure Your Kids Achieve a Broader Knowledge
Ensure your kids acquire skills most especially soft skills which are rarely taught in normal academic settings. Acquiring more knowledge exposes them to a range of options. Also, enrol them in classes that enhance their interest. Perhaps, Your child produces Melodious sounds by skillfully hitting sticks on tables in the house. To encourage creativity enrol him in an instrumentalist school.
This is why it is important you consider several factors before choosing your kid’s school.
8. Inculcate Reading Habit in Your Kids
To encourage creativity in a child also entails reading books to gain more knowledge. Your child gets to picture what he or she reads from a book. They begin to create mental possibilities of the story plots in that book. This habit broadens their creativity.
Also, the more your child reads, they learn more about other fields of life and how things are done in different places around the world. It also helps to build their vocabulary and enhance quick understanding.
Conclusion
As a parent, learn to lead by example. It is vital when unveiling the steps on how to encourage creativity in a child. You shouldn’t expect your child to learn various methods of problem-solving when as a parent, you perform one task every day using one method. Likewise, you can’t force them to read while you watch TV shows. You should join them. Preferably allocate time for it.
Also, do share your thoughts regarding this post in the comment section below.
by Happiness Hassan | Feb 15, 2021 | Family & Parenting
Should parents make their children’s decisions? This has been a challenging question most parents can’t seem to find an answer to. However, there is a need for a balance in terms of decision-making for one’s kids. When it comes to the relationship between parents and their kids; the one who pays the piper dictates the tone becomes the reality. Parents believe that since they provide the necessities for their children, they are also responsible for making decisions for them.
The Need For Balance
Imposing your will as a parent on your children is one of the parenting mistakes to be avoided. However, it’s your responsibility to guide your children on the right path to tour in life. This guidance becomes more effective when you hear their opinions about a matter.
In as much as you want the best for them academically, socially, morally, financially, and otherwise. Ensure that you strike a balance by carrying them along when making decisions regarding them.
Most teenagers feel caged and deprived of their freedom of decision-making when they are being forced to do something outside their choice like being pressured to select a particular career.
Therefore, as a parent, the best you can do for your children is to offer them your advice regarding certain decisions. By stating the reason for your decisions.
Perhaps, you feel your children are making the wrong decisions, sit with them and talk about it. Tell them the consequences of their decision and also give them room to outline the reason for making such decisions.
7 Reasons Why You Should Let Your Children Make Their Own Decision
1. They Learn to Be Self-reliant
To enable your children to learn how to be independent when away from you, begin by letting them make certain decisions by themselves.
The more they learn about good decision making, the more they attain a state of self-reliance capable of managing their affairs without being confused by all other sorts of counsel that may come from their friends or others.
2. Decision making Boosts Their Confidence
Low self-esteem can tear down a child’s emotional coordination. Subsequently, it affects every other aspect of that child’s life ost especially their academic performance.
In contrast, you can boost the confidence of your child by guiding them on the right decision to take. Subsequently, they develop a sense of self-worth and value in themselves.
3. It Brings about Self-discovery
Most parents are yet to learn about how to discover their child’s interests. However, this is made easier when you study the choices made by your kids. For instance, instead of shopping for all the cool stuff, you think kids love, you can go with your kid and watch them select the things they prefer.
It will amaze you how your child would prefer shopping for a bunch of papers, crayons, poster color, and its kinds. Instead of shopping for fancy toys, shoes and clothes. The above is a pointer to that child’s interest— being an artist.
Furthermore, decisions made by a child that leads to self-discovery automatically provides an answer to our initial question; should parents make their children’s decisions?
4. Creativity is Enhanced During Decision Making
Decisions making helps fosters the creativity of a child—applicable to other aspects of their lives. Most importantly, decisions are taken in an attempt to solve a problem. Consider a child who lost contact with his mom in the shopping mall. At such a point, most kids will give in to tears and appear afraid.
However, despite this, they’re compelled from within to make a decision to solve the problem by figuring out a way of locating their mom.
Next, that child approaches an adult still in fear and tears requesting to place a call across to his mom through any available cell phone. In a nutshell, that child will be found sooner than expected. Subsequently, his creativity grows to solve other problems.
5. Kids Learn to Be Responsible Whenever They Make Their Own Decisions
When children make their decisions they automatically become responsible for the aftermath of their decision—either good or bad. In other words, they learn to make quality decisions to avert negative consequences.
In addition, should parents make their children’s decisions wouldn’t be asked by most parents. This is because their children can take responsibility for their decisions.
6. It Makes Them Trust You as Their Parents
Whenever parents impose their choice on their kids unconsciously their kids begin to lose trust in them. Furthermore, they view their parents as being selfish without needing the best for them. Therefore, avoid imposing but choose to advise them. It’s easier to gain your child’s trust for future decisions when you seek their opinions before arriving at a conclusion.
When your kids trust you, they become open to tell you things bothering them. In addition, they look up to you as the right role model for them to follow.
7. Allowing Your Kids Make Their Own Decision Communicates Value
Parents communicate the feeling of value and the message of love across to your child each time you allow children to make their decisions. They realize that it’s out of a loving heart you offer them quality advice regarding their decisions.
Once this is known, be rest assured that they wouldn’t make wrong decision choices but will do what will make you proud as their parents.
Conclusion
Therefore, should parents make their children’s decisions? Certainly yes by offering their children advice and guidance on the right decision to make. In addition, while you advise them to be mindful of imposing your choice on them. Your role is to state the advantages and consequences of the decision they are about to take and watch them select their preference—they would always go for positive decisions with excellent outcomes.
Also, don’t forget to join the discussion in the comment section below.
