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Tolerance is crucial when grooming kids. It keeps your emotions under control and prevents you from going crazy about kids’ annoying behaviours. Its true kids don’t always obey instructions given, most times they do the opposite and mess things up. Their unconscious irritable behaviours tend to prompt anger. Anger when not recognized and controlled yields to disaster and regrets. However, when you learn how to be patient with kids you become conscious of their natures, and how to relate with them appropriately.
How to be patient with kids does not just apply to parents. If there is a likelihood of mingling with kids as you go through your daily routine then this piece applies to you.
How to Be Patient With Your Kids
1. Realize That Life is a Process
Most adults have little or no tolerance for children. They have failed to understand that life is in stages and once upon a time they were kids. Childhood is a one-time experience for everyone. Nonetheless, kids are uniquely designed to view messy stuff as fun, such as throwing objects, scattering the home, if permitted lay in the mud, and lots more. Whereas adults feel the other way, they always want things to be arranged, neat, and put in order.
The truth remains that they won’t be children forever, as years go by they grow from being childish to thinking mature. At that stage, you wouldn’t have to chase them around before they do that which is expected. They unconsciously do it. Hence, don’t ruin the childhood stage of your kids, allow them to have fun, but keep an eye on them because kids can go the extra mile.
2. Minimize Expectations
Nothing is wrong with setting goals for your kids or expecting them to come out as the best in whatever they engage in with their peers. Mostly, sports and academic work. However, if your expectations are not lessened you’ll be in for disappointment when your kids fail to meet up to your set standard.
Their failure can make them face the consequences. This method doesn’t always go right! In essence, desire the best for your kids, support them in achieving it. If they don’t, instead of being angry, celebrate them for their current level and encourage your kids to put in more effort next time. Impatience never solves a problem rather it makes you angry and discourages your kids.
3. Focus On Their Strength Instead of Weaknesses
The root cause of impatience towards kids stems from emphasizing their weaknesses. You get irritated when your attempt to change this isn’t working. To ease that feeling you give in to punishing, forcing, yelling, flogging, and restricting your kids. Instead of doing it the hard way, focus more on their strength, help build them up in their area of uniqueness. Avoid comparing them to others who are better. When they advance in their strength their weaknesses begin to diminish.
4. Here is the Magic
Usman is 10years of age and a talented artist. His skills were admired by all. However, his passion begins to fade away due to no support from his parents and siblings. This was because he engages in bedwetting when asleep. Usman was called all hideous names and punished. Yet, he continued bedwetting. One day, a friend of his mother came to visit and told his mom a secret on how to be patient with kids.
His mom sat the entire family and further explained the method her friend advised her. From henceforth, rather than calling Usman names they all supported and encouraged his skills. They made statements like; “Usman is the best artist in the world” “The best artist doesn’t wet the bed”. To their amazement as they continued Usman gradually stopped bedwetting. So, building kids in the area of their strength is the fastest route to eliminating their weaknesses. You should try that!
5. Practice Patient at Other Things.
Your impatience with your kids might be a reflection of your lack of tolerance for other things. If you’re the type who gets angry at slight provocation, obviously your kid’s behaviour won’t make any difference. Stop retaliating when your kids mess things up and learn how to recognize your emotions and manage them. If you’re able to get your emotions under your control you would be more patient with other people and things; at work, within your neighbourhood, towards friends and your kids.
In addition, when stressed out, take time out, away from work and kids to prevent the transfer of aggression.
6. Put Yourself in Your Kids Shoes
How would you feel when you’re being punished for what you feel is right? Or yelled at? Or forced to go against your will? Or restricted from exploring? Certainly, you won’t feel happy or comfortable about it, you would feel deprived of your right. Now!
That’s exactly the way your kids think and feel when you’re not patient with them. Hence, before making them face the consequences of their actions, picture yourself in their shoes. This method would help you do the right thing.
7. Listen and Talk Things Out
Parents rarely get to listen to their kids, to know the reasons behind certain actions before passing judgment on them. You begin to understand your kids more as you pay attention to them and listen to what they have to say. Don’t be quick to punish them. You should sit them down and talk things out. Having heard their explanations. It’s your responsibility to make them know that what they did was wrong and also tell them what’s expected of them next time. Let them know the reason why you yelled at them or spanked them. This will help them avoid such mistakes next time.
How to be patient with kids will require great love for kids to scale through. Your love for them often regulates your emotions which includes impatience towards your kids. As a parent, you need to learn about activities that increase the bond with your kids. Also, parenting mistakes should be avoided. In addition, apologize more often whenever you lose control of your emotions towards your kids.
In addition, share your views regarding how to be patient with kids in the comment section below.