by Mystery | May 3, 2022 | Diaries
I could not believe my eyes at first but then I had caught my friend who just got married cheating on her husband.
It was just two weeks after this friend of mine had tied the knot in their hometown. I was very happy for her although I was not in attendance because the distance had made the wedding fall out of my budget.
To make up for not attending the wedding, I decided to pay my friend a visit at her house which was across town.
On getting there, I caught her cheating on her husband with a man in her matrimonial home. I could not believe my eyes but kept quiet while I was served rice and a chilled bottle of coke. The guy felt uncomfortable and left a few minutes after I arrived. I could not help but ask who he was and she blatantly stated that it was her ex. I didn’t comprehend everything at that instance.
Why would one cheat on their husband of just two weeks?
She began to tell me how she felt about this ex, and why she couldn’t stop thinking about him. I was bemused. What if it was her husband that had stepped into the house and not me?
I immediately advised her as a good friend to better cut ties with this so-called ex as it was not healthy. Besides, she was already married but she refused. I then asked why she didn’t marry the ex instead. She told me it was because he wasn’t ready and other flimsy excuses I just couldn’t buy into.
It almost got out of hand, as I kept pointing to the fact that her husband will find out about it and that meant the end of her marriage. She persuaded me with everything she could. She was very confident she could handle everything and her husband would not find out unless I told him.
When she found that I wouldn’t let the matter go, she became angry and asked me to leave. I should have minded my business, eaten the attractive fried rice I was served before trying to advise her because it hurt leaving it untouched.
A few days later, I realized that she had blocked me on all social media platforms and my line too.
A marriage that is just two weeks old!
What do people think marriage is? I wonder what will happen if she continues to see this ex? Imagine getting pregnant. I am very sure that the ex she is cheating on her husband with, would not marry her if she got divorced today.
The funny thing is, this is becoming a trend these days. But, why do you think people cheat anyway?
Disclaimer: This story was inspired by true events.
by Mystery | Apr 19, 2022 | Diaries
It may seem shocking to you but I am a twenty-seven-year-old Muslim and I do not fast. You may think I would have a medical backup or a particular reason why, but I don’t. Fasting is not for me; I just couldn’t do it as much as I have tried.
I grew up in a home where everyone, to the youngest, fasted. As a child, I could not withstand 15 hours without food. I’d mostly end up feeling feverish and dizzy by 8 am even if I had eaten around 4 am that day. It was unbearable and still is.
Then, I mostly broke my fast secretly; I would hide it from my parents and pretend to be fasting like everyone else. They did catch me eating or sneaking food into my room a couple of times, however, they thought it was all childish. Most children cannot endure the hours, especially during their first few years of fasting, and so I grew up in that fashion.
I know of a few people who try to avoid fasting by claiming to have a medical condition like an ulcer or something related, which we all know is a sham because this ulcer is periodic and only comes around during Ramadan. Besides, there are ways you can keep ulcer patients free from attacks.
On the other hand, do not have a reason apart from not being able to hold me.
Over the years, I have grown comfortable with not fasting at all. A lot of people have tried their best to advise me, preach to me, and even tell me how important it is to fast as a Muslim. I am not going to budge and I’ll proudly tell anyone willing to listen that: I don’t fast.
by Mystery | Apr 9, 2022 | Diaries
Ramadhan is a lunar month every Muslim looks forward to. It is a time most people want to stay close to family, do more good deeds, and indulge in devotional acts and the like. It is also a time a lot of people deem fit for them to get married.
Why is that, What’s the fuzz all about?
I didn’t think of it much until Muazu, my best friend had come to my house to give me an oral invitation to his wedding.
“So soon!” I said puzzled. I knew he had always wanted to but then I didn’t know why he had to rush at it because fasting was close by.
He laughed and told me that when I got to where he was standing, I would begin to see things the same way he did. Three more close friends were getting married too and I began to ask questions.
Here is what I had gathered.
First off, a bachelor’s life is hard and Ramadhan makes you realize how hard it really is. You have become a man and you have choices. You want to eat certain things which are not possible if you stay with your parents because then, you are under another man whose will must be done.
You might try to get an alternative by settling down for roadside meals that is if you have the means, but you soon get tired of that. Some people even believe that Islamically, a woman who is not legally married to you should not cook your meals, especially while fasting. I consider that a myth but a lot of people including my friends believe it.
One scenario conjured up in my head was that of a young man who lived alone. He would go to work in the morning and get back to still think of what he would use to break his fast and that was not exuberating.
Fasting is a moment one needs closure with his family, yearning to own your own family is so much a perfect idea especially when one would be rewarded for it. Marriage constituted half of one’s Deen and doing it before Ramadhan is very fulfilling.
Muazu told me personally that his reason was that he wanted to have someone cook for him, wake him up for Sahur and make him feel special. He also mentioned that the urge to have sex was higher during Ramadan, if that was true then what could be as beautiful as having it with a legal partner.
The ladies were not left out as they were mostly the ones who pushed the idea of getting married before Ramadhan. It is a dream come true for many ladies to be married. To perform the duties of a wife to their husband. To cook Sahur like their mothers did and get appreciated for it. There was also happiness in performing Ibadah with the man that owned your heart.
As Muazu ran around inviting people to his wedding, I hope he realizes that marriage is not just about food and sex. Imagine that his so envisioned Sahur didn’t come true because his wife doesn’t know how to cook properly. He would be very sad and disappointed.
Marriage is a lot more, it is about commitment, support, and growth. It doesn’t matter when you marry. There will be many Ramadhans that you and your wife will enjoy together.
Next year, there will be another rush to get married before Ramadhan and I hope you don’t pressure yourself into it because it’s trending. However, the issue of what to eat and all that would pass. It would make you appreciate your partner more and also be grateful you have her.
by Mystery | Apr 5, 2022 | Diaries
I am married with a kid now. I know that sometimes it’s confusing when it comes to trying to select a partner with whom you want to live the rest of your life. I might have made a mistake and I’d like you to hear me out.
Zuwairah is a classy young lady, though I was not dating her, I knew that her Kayan lefe will be a little bit above my manpower. She’s a bit stubborn but knows exactly what she wants. She’s interesting and can keep a conversation going.
However, my girlfriend is a gentle soul. She is fine with whatever I offer and never questions my authority. If I tell Aisha to sit on a stool until tomorrow, she wouldn’t dare move, and if she did for any reason. She would apologize to me once I showed up.
I used to work at a tailoring shop after I graduated and a job wasn’t forthcoming. Now, if I wanted to make clothes for Zuwairah, she would describe the style she wanted and would be very dramatic about it. It was obvious she liked me and usually called me sweet names. On the other hand, my sweetheart would simply be okay with whatever I decided to make for her. It was easy and I need not stress myself or buy extra materials to make designs for her.
One time I was so confused because I like that Zuwairah was interesting but she had this fire that I didn’t feel I could control while my girlfriend was easy to handle. I had to ask my close friends for counsel. They suggested that I test them both with lunch.
When my girlfriend came I told her I had only Garri available. She asked if there was sugar and I lied that there wasn’t. We drank this garri like this and she left. Shortly after, Zuwairah appeared. The funny thing is that she didn’t get to go to a university and only had a school leavers certificate. She told me she was hungry after telling me details of how her day went. When I told her I had just garri, she told me she’d want rice and beans or noodles instead. After a couple of minutes, she agreed to take the garri but insisted that I got her sugar. She quickly bought some groundnuts and added it too.
It may amaze you but this is how I picked my wife. My friends advised me to pick the one I felt at ease with and thus, I chose my darling girlfriend. Zuwairah might be interesting but, it’s better to select the peace of mind or so I thought.
Our issues started when I was confused about what to put in her wedding box. Does she like laces better or more of Atamfa? Heels flops or both. I couldn’t decide and my madam kept telling me that she was okay with whichever I got for her. In the end most of the things I had gotten, she didn’t even wear them.
I finally got a job at a building company as an architect. Yes, my home is peaceful but it is uninteresting. Once I went to submit a building plan in my boss’s office and his wife was there. They were arguing the position of the cabinet in the kitchen of one of the building plans. She said left and he said right.
The owner of the contract later came in and strictly stated that he’d prefer the cabinet on the left of its initial position. I went home that day and tried to ask my wife her opinion on something. Mind you! She’s a graduate.
“Honey, should we build our house as a duplex or in stories?”
“I don’t know. Anyone is fine by me”
Her indifference made me sigh. Sometimes I actually needed her opinion, I wanted to have intelligent arguments and I would need to advise on trivial issues. Yet my wife will be like.
“Maigida, anyone will be fine.”
Please marry someone who knows what they want, is willing to compromise, challenge you to become better, and can advise you on the serious issues you’d face.
It’s quite obvious that she’s not the one.
by Mystery | Mar 29, 2022 | Diaries
Life after the four walls of a university contains so many choices. Initially, you are happy that you just crossed a great hurdle only to be faced with the harsh labour market you’ve been hearing about since your undergraduate days.
I got back home and soon it became clear I needed something to do to bring money home. A lot of people kept advertising different online schemes. I thought I should give it a shot.
One of them had offered me 30k monthly. It was a good deal since I would be working from home and it would serve me until I got a standard job. As I started I realized it was tough as it required about 22 hours of an online presence. I wasn’t getting enough sleep but it was worth it.
I soon realized I was working for someone and he was getting triple the amount he was paying me yet he keeps complaining about how slow I was and repeatedly threatened me. Regardless, I ignored his critics and continued because I was not a lazy person. I told myself that in at least a month, I’d learn the trade well and gain an amount of audience before I’d register and start working on my own.
What I did mostly included buying and selling. Yet it was time-consuming. I had hoped my December would be free and I could hang out with my friends but it wasn’t as it seemed. Due to the pressure, my employer had placed on me I sold past the stated amount of allowed sales per day. This act got me suspended. It was good since I could rest for the while and managed to visit a couple of friends.
I realized the situation was almost the same for everyone. They were all at home doing nothing apart from complaining about the system. I didn’t like the situation I found myself in but at least I was ready to change that. A couple of few who had hobbies or learnt trade was doing the little they could. But then seeing them move forward with the struggle gave me the strength to continue.
My account was reactivated afterwards and my boss complained about the hours I’d missed due to the suspension and wanted me to cover for it. How? I didn’t like the way he was pushing me around and I saw more reasons to open my own account directly and make sales for the company. The last straw was when he refused to give me my complete pay because of the suspension.
I met someone who told me they would help me get direct access to the company. He convinced me to pay him and I did only to find out he was a scam. I couldn’t cry because I knew I was the fool here.
I see a lot of graduates like me and I wonder what kind of life we would end up leaving. Please don’t say you were not told.
Start asking yourself, after graduation what next?
