by JB Mairubutu | Jan 29, 2022 | Relationships & Weddings
We will all agree that women are special humans. They are of course wired differently from men and this is why they react to things differently. As much as they are beautiful, they are also full of drama. For this reason, do not engage in an argument with a woman. If you must, you have to be careful because there are things to never say to a woman during an argument. As a man, you have to treat your woman right and refuse to say certain things to her during an argument whether she is at fault or not.
15 Things Never to Say to a Woman During an Argument
1. ‘You are Crazy…‘
Bro, never calls a woman crazy during an argument. Fight that temptation! Women are very sensitive and we all know how their hormones become extra active during an argument. Things will really go ugly if you call a woman or tell her she is crazy during an argument. The best thing to do is make your point if you must and listen to her’s too. This is for your sanity, man.
2. Don’t Mention Periods…
During an argument, never tell a woman that she is overacting because she is on her period. She will fight you for that. It is insensitive to say a thing like that. Periods and their cramping is something she has no control over then why use it against her during an argument? If you do this be ready for war… a big one.
3. ‘My Ex Does…’
Nobody wants to be compared to an ex, particularly not during an argument. Never tell your woman that your ex will never do this or that! She will fight and resent you with the last drop of her blood. Statement as this isn’t just sensitive but vile and disrespectful. You made a vow to love her, why use an ex to taunt her? She fit a break bottle for your head if you make remarks like this during an argument. If you’re about to say, “My ex” during an argument, quickly change it to, “My head no correct!”
4. Calm Down, Relax!
I laugh in chaos. When a woman is really irked and is having an argument with you, it is safer to let her vent than tell her to relax. You tell her, “Calm down, relax,” she hears, “Shut your mouth. You make little or no sense!” Listen to her make her points and if you don’t have anything important to say, it is best you tactically appease her.
5. ‘This is Why Your Body is…‘
Guy, don’t even think it. Make you dead the idea abeg. It isn’t only inhumane to body-shame your woman in an argument but devilish. No matter how vexed you’re, do not body-shame her. It might be just the spur of the moment to you but it will do a lot of damage to her self-confidence. Do not use any of her body defects to insult her during an argument. Simply keep quiet. Well, she might be mad at you for keeping quiet but it is better than opening your mouth ‘waaa’ to spew nonsense.
6. ‘Your Opinion or Suggestion Doesn’t Make Sense…’
When last did anyone break a bottle on your head? No one has ever? Well, if you say this to your woman, you deserve to have a broken skull. Never tell your woman this. There are better ways of playing down suggestions, respectfully. Do it! You won’t die.
7. Don’t Insult Her…
Learn to have a healthy argument without throwing derogatory or profane words at her. It doesn’t make sense. If you do this, you would make your relationship unhealthy.
8. ‘You’re Wasting Money…’
Most responsible women aren’t spendthrifts. It is only normal that they gift themselves things once in a while. Don’t make her feel like she is wasting money because you’re the one giving her money. This will break her and if care isn’t taken, she would resent you and look elsewhere.
9. ‘You’re Too Emotional…’
Don’t say it! Swallow that word. A woman will fight you if you are having an argument and instead of you getting her point, you tell her she is too emotional. Don’t even do it.
10. Man, She is Hot or Sexy…
You really shouldn’t do this. Don’t tell your woman another woman is hot and sexy. You might end up being single.
11. Don’t Embarrass Her…
Don’t yell at her or say anything embarrassing to her when you’re with friends or in public. If you must scold her, do it in private. Don’t say you weren’t warned.
12. ‘Are You Done Talking?’
You must have written your will before saying this to her. I don’t see the reason to say this to her unless you have a death wish. Let her finish talking or making her points. Don’t ever say this to her. It isn’t nice at all.
13. ‘Your family is…’
No, bro. don’t disrespect her family because if she does this to your family, you will have her head on a stick so why do this to her?
14. This Dress Doesn’t Fit You…’
You shouldn’t be too blunt when addressing issues like this. It could shatter her confidence. Learn to be kind. Thank you.
15. I Have a New Co-worker and I Like Her Smile…’
This is statement is the number one way of getting killed. You have a female colleague then fine. Don’t bring her issue to the ears of your girlfriend or wife unless you want trouble.
Conclusion
I am sure you have learned that there are things to never say to a woman during an argument. If you really value your woman, you should always respect her even when it is not convenient for you.
If you find this article helpful, leave a comment on the comments section and tell me what other things not to say to a woman that I missed in the comments section as well. Thank you.
You could also check on the 10 tips for a healthy relationship.
by Aisha Zakari | Oct 16, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
Planning a first date can be nerving, overwhelming, and awkward but most people pay attention to other things and rarely focus on things to say and things to not say on a first date. Dates are usually formal for the first time as people get to know each other better, look for the best location and select the perfect outfit.
In this post, I’ll be making a list of those words and sentences you shouldn’t utter on a date. Let’s talk.
1. Leave Your Business Out of It
You are a person of ambition and success doesn’t mean you have to put it all up in your date’s face talking about how much you’re worth or how many houses you own. By doing this, you come off to your date as being rude, impolite, boastful, and cocky; this just ruins the chance of a second date. There is a thin line between being confident and boastful so try to balance this and make it clear to your date in the politest way.
A tip I’ll give here is to make sure you’re not talking about yourself the entire time. Engage with your date, ask them about their dreams and aspirations, what they would like to be. Give them attention, a listening ear and with this, an interesting conversation ensues. Get to know them better, that’s why it’s a date.
2. Politics and Religion Are a Huge Turn-off
People are different and definitely have preferences, choices, and opinions but when it comes to me, things not to say on a first date are politics and/or religion.
As passionate and interesting politics may be for you, it may not be for the other party. As such, avoid mentioning this as a conversation on a first date. In a way, politics and religious topics tend to upset people because there will be room for heated debates and different opinions. This is a date to get to know each other not to know why the Buhari’s wedding souvenirs was what it was.
But if your date is into politics, oh my then ride on. It’s your date after all.
3. Do Not Bring Up Your Ex
I must confess, I’ve been here before, and believe me, I messed up things with someone. Took me a while to realize and admit but oh well. Talking about how Isah stood you up or how Hauwah cheated on you with your best friend is a major No. Leave negative Isah and Hauwah at home!
Bringing up your ex on the first date sends the wrong messages to your date. It sends:
- You’re still stuck and very much in love with them
- You are instantly a turn-off
- You’re a baggage
People don’t claim baggage in their life. I mean they want a happy relationship with someone that is not difficult or wishes her ex were still with them. Rather, focus on this person sitting in front of you, get to know them, explore new relationships. Past relationships could be talked about later in the future when you’ve created a strong bond and relationship with them.
4. “You look better in pictures”
Hold up, what’s that? That is completely unnecessary and should not be uttered to someone at all and definitely not a thing to say on a first date. For me, I believe when it comes to social media and posting, deciding on a picture to make public can be quite difficult and whatever a person posts, they believe that is their best.
What your date looks like offline and online shouldn’t be a topic of discussion even if you think they don’t look good. It’s either you point it out in a polite way or don’t tell them at all. Saying such words immediately kills their confidence and self-esteem. That is not how you want to go down this road with this new person you just met.
5. “I’m not looking for anything serious”
Sigh, were you asked? Zip that mouth already! Your date is not a hook-up or a one-night stand and neither are they cheap or wasting their time coming on this date with you. Saying such utterances is not a thing and should be off the record.
Yes, going on a date with someone means opening up to new exploration and ideas of relationships but not all the time. Dates could be harmless sometimes, you could end up being just friends with them and that’s okay.
6. Leave The Marriage Talk Out of It
There is no need to scare your date off with the plans you’ve had to have 3 kids named Hassana, Abdullahi, and Muhammad. Dates should be something fun and thrilling to do, not nerve-wracking and asking tricky questions such as:
- “Where do you see this relationship heading in 3years from now?” My dear, it’s not an interview!
- “Do you see me as wife material?”
It’s a date, have fun and get to know each other better. If anything will happen along the line, let it come naturally.
7. Put That Phone Down
This is my top list. When you’re on a date for the first time, your phone should be put away at all times. You’re on this date to talk, socialize, chat, get to know each other better, and have fun.
It is rude to even check your phone on a date unless it’s an emergency or something serious and your attention is needed. Remember, this person took the time out of their day for this date, make it count.
8. Own Up to Yourself
You don’t need to apologize for what you’re wearing or how you look or why a pimple popped out on your face this wonderful evening. However, your look and whatever you’re wearing, shouldn’t be a thing to worry about.
Words like that are things to not say on a first date as this tells them that you’re insecure and that you need reassurances to how you look. And this, my dear inevitably becomes a huge turn-off for them. You don’t need anyone’s validation to feel and look amazing.
Remember, first impressions always matter, and on dates, this tends to determine if you’ll be getting a second one or not. So, blow their minds away.
9. Past Sexual Experiences
This is a complete No on a first date. You do not ask your partner such and you definitely should not talk about your own sexual experiences. It is of no use to both of you at that particular place and time.
The sole aim of this date is to know each other. So, instead of talking about how you went three rounds, why not ask about your date’s dreams or what kind of pet he/she likes? Talk about something interesting and leave that out of the equation.
10. Keep the Attitude Away
It is believed that a way to know a person’s character is how they behave with people around them; for example, the waiter/waitress and staff at the date location. So, be on your best behaviour and be kind to people to impress your date. Remember, not only on a date night should this be done. Be kind always, let humanity live.
Conclusion
Now that you’ve read these things to not say on a first date, go ahead and lookup for the best location and the perfect outfit. Go on that date, have fun and give your date a fun-filled conversation they will not forget and will definitely ask for another.
I’ll be here in the comment section, tell me how that date goes.
by Abu Hafsah | Sep 10, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
Breakups can be very frustrating and depressing. Although some breakups are healthy ones, others can be disastrous; some can be intentional, by mistake or misunderstanding; some could also be your fault and some not. Do you want to win them back? If yes, no problem, just stay with me as I guide you on the ways to get your ex to want you back.
11 Ways to Get Your Ex to Want You Back
1. Make up Your Mind
When your mind is focused and made up, you don’t make excuses. You try. If you fail you try again.
Louis Farrakhan
Like I always say, making up your mind towards trying to achieve something is the first thing to do after considering it. So, make it your goal to get that person no matter what and be optimistic about it. Always remember that you will get nowhere by not trying no matter how difficult it may seem. Don’t linger, don’t fret, just go for it.
Remember, you’ve got one advantage, ‘you were once theirs’ and who knows? They may already want you back! As said:
Make up your mind, Snail! You are half inside your house, and halfway out!
Richard Wright
2. You Want Them Back? Begin to Do Things Yourself
Be independent of them.
One of the ways to get your ex to want you back is by beginning to do things yourself if you happened to be someone who was overly dependent or reliant on them to get things done during your broken relationship. Let them see that you can live comfortably without them. That will surely make them begin to see your worth. By just that, they may start considering you back. Isn’t that what you want?
Always remember, nobody… I mean, nobody wants to be dependent on except when it becomes necessary, like that of parents to their children.
3. Dress Well and Smell Nice
Oh, God! Have you any idea how dressing well and smelling nice can get you any lady or guy? If you don’t, you’re welcome. Dressing and smelling nice is how you should always be whether or not you are in a relationship, but it’s a plus when you are trying to get someone’s attention.
Whenever you’re going to be anywhere around them – like going to work, school or class (if you work, school or attend lectures together), you are going to their house or neighbourhood or any place you are sure they are most likely to be there, be sure you are well dressed and smell nice.
Put on that kind of outfit that you know they like. Be elegant, dress to kill, and look very responsible as you do so. Anything is ok as long as you make it hard to be ignored or get unnoticed by them, positively. It’s surely one of the ways to get your ex to want you back.
4. Stop Acknowledging Their Presence
This is applicable in situations where you had always wanted to be close to them in any way during your broken relationship. Who knows? Perhaps, this habit of yours was what pushed away them in the first place. Even if you weren’t like that, that’s no problem, just make them look less or not important.
When you meet anywhere, whether or not you planned it, do not acknowledge their presence. Do not say things like ‘you look beautiful’, ‘you look takeaway’, or say ‘I miss you’ mistakenly however tempting it may be. Hahaha. If you do that, they will feel important and my dear, you have lost your shot; balance, and aim again next time.
5. Show Them You Care
If you want them back, show them lots of care. Be always there when they need someone, someone LIKE YOU. Never relent on doing or saying anything they show you they want. Try cooking a delicious meal for them – their favourite most preferably, be their first good morning and their last good night. If possible, visit whenever something good or unfortunate happens to them, visit their parents if you can still do that, just anything. Do anything positive to show them they are still well cared for by you.
Doing so will not only score you a chance of winning their heart back, but they get to value you way more than they did before. I guarantee this one of the ways to get your ex to want you back for you.
6. Be Scarce
One of the ways to get your ex to want you back is by being scarce. Scarcity creates value or importance. You don’t know that? Now you do! Do not avail yourself to them at all times. Sometimes, what or who you see too often, tends to be of less importance to you – you know that to be true, but when they are not always available at your disposal, their value increases in your sight.
Therefore, do not make yourself available in their presence no matter how hard you want to do that, no matter how difficult it is for your heart as your endures. Just keep at it. The end result will definitely be worth the patience or endurance. That’s how it is.
So, be scarce!
7. Begin to Do Things They Like and Avoid Things They Don’t
Recall what you may have done that ended the relationship, or what they have always wanted you to do that you don’t do. Recall those moments that you hurt them as a result of your actions. Try not to miss every single detail.
When you do, prepare your mind to be a changed person with regards to that. Begin to do things they like and avoid things they do not like. Remember, the heart will almost always want the person who likes what they like and vice versa.
However, if you sincerely know that the breakup wasn’t your fault, then all you need to do is continue to be you and adjust to those things that they don’t like. That way, they will miss being with you and it’s only a matter of time before they come your way, again.
8. Be Smarter Than They Know
Is it just me? But there is something about smart people that makes me attracted to them. Try to improve on your intelligence. If they know you to be this intelligent, be that intelligent, and if they know you to have a low IQ, try and improve by reading books on intelligence, study quotes on intelligence, watch movies related to that, take online courses and the likes.
This may take a long time before it begins to manifest, but you can try, most especially, if you are enjoying the breakup at the moment, but will consider them in the future. Chances are, they are already noticing you, and that’s good.
Don’t worry even if you don’t get them back, at least, you have raised your personal and societal status by being more intelligent. This is surely one of the ways to get your ex to want you back.
9. Want to Get Them Back? Flirt With Them
This is strictly for divorcees I suggest. You don’t want to flirt with them if you never were married to them before, would you? They may look down on you. But for divorcees, this may be a very good opportunity to shoot your shot.
You already know them very well; what they like and how they react to flirtations. Use that to your advantage. Executing that through phone-calling could not be as effective as sexting. Send them that kind of flirty message that will make them want to touch you so badly.
Flirting with them a little will be of no harm. Try it.
10. Contact Them Less Often
One of the ways to get your ex to want you back is by reducing the number of times you call them, or not even calling them at all, depending on the situation. Even if you feel the urge to because you really want to hear from them, DON’T. When you feel the need to visit them as usual, also DON’T. Let them miss your presence, your voice, your sarcasm, your sense of humour, your personality, and all that.
11. Get a Partner or Pretend to Have One
Make them crazily jealous.
Is there that someone whom they know has been crushing on you while you two were together? Consider them. Is there that friend of theirs that has been wanting to get your attention? Consider them. Sounds cruel right? Look at it carefully, it doesn’t. Remember the situation they’ve put you in and you will see reasons why this is an option for you if you want them back. If you are just acting and not serious, be a very good actor. Ensure all the tracks that may lead them to find out you’ve been acting are well blocked.
If they know, they will get really jealous and my dear, that feeling could trigger the love they once had for you. Now, you will be left to decide whether or not to end your present relationship or stop acting. If the former is the case, decide with caution.
Conclusion
Not all ways mentioned above are suitable at all times. They are dependent on how you want them back – is it because you still love them and the breakup was your fault, or you love them and the breakup wasn’t your fault? For instance, you can’t ‘show them care’ if they broke up with you for no reason or for the wrong reason(s). That’s showing low self-esteem. And you can’t be ‘scarce’ when the breakup was actually your fault. Make sure to use the one that suits your situation best.
If you find this article to be interesting or helpful, drop a comment in the comments section. And if you feel something was left out, kindly tell as well. Thank you.
Related: 7 Proven Ways to Get Over Your Ex and 13 Ways to Get Someone Love You.
by Abu Hafsah | Aug 21, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
Do you have an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend you seriously want to get rid of in your mind? Do you have an ex-wife or ex-husband you wish to take off your mind? If yes, then you are in the right place, and if no, no problem, you can still learn to be used at a later date if the occasion calls for that, or share with a friend, colleague, or family who needs to get over an ex.
As the saying goes “anything that has a start, must have a stop”. Relationships are like that, be it a marriage relationship or boy/girl relationship.
When it finally comes to an end, there is a need for you to keep your ex off your mind so they don’t hinder you from moving on. Stay with me as I walk you through the steps that will ultimately guide you to get over an ex:
Proven Steps to Get Over Your Ex Quickly
1. Make Up Your Mind
This may sound simple, but it needs great courage to be able to get yourself in that state of mind, most especially if you are still fond of that person.
The first thing you need to do is to fully make up your mind to get over that ex of yours. You need to accept that you two have broken up for whatever reason it was.
You can’t be having any lingering doubt on whether you still want them or not. If you aren’t sure of getting over them, then you cannot be assisted.
Always know that your mindset has a great role to play in helping you achieve a set goal.
2. Do Not Depend on Them Anymore
This is a very important step. To get over an ex, you need to see how you can start getting hold of your life and begin to take responsibility by doing things yourself; pay your bills, buy your clothing, get your foodstuff, and so on all by yourself. Remember, he/she is gone and gone for good. You shouldn’t be expecting anything from now henceforth.
Being independent can be stressful most especially if you are the dependent type, but I promise you it will be fun once it gets into your system well. If they are still noticing you, they will know for sure you’ve moved on.
It may interest you to read on how to raise a kid as a single parent.
3. Ignore Them
This may be easy or hard depending on the depth of your affection for them. But I believe that one’s determination will lead them to achieve greater dreams they never would have thought they would be able to.
You need to ignore their calls and text messages if they try to reach you through those means; delete or get rid of all the things that remind you of them (their contacts, photos, text messages, gifts, etc.).
Also, ignore their visits if they do so and if eventually, you find yourself in the same neighbourhood or a gathering that meeting them is inevitable, try not to make eye contact, sit close to them or talk to them or the likes to the best of your ability.
4. Do Not Contact Them
By trying to get over an ex, you may still feel a thing for them thus, making it difficult for you not to pond of them. If eventually, you find yourself in that kind of situation, you will be tempted to reach out for them (via phone or paying a visit), tell yourself ‘NO, they aren’t worth it’. Instead, find something you like to do; like a hobby and engage yourself with. This will help.
5. Stay Away from Their Friends and Family
In the course of your relationship, you must have been introduced to some of their friends and family members. Even after learning about your break up or separation, they (friends and/or family members) may still wish to keep in contact with you or you may be the one wanting to keep in contact with them. Do not!
No good will come out of that as they will keep reminding you of them, and the more you are reminded of them, the more difficult it will be for you to get over them.
6. Go on a Vacation
Has there been this place you’ve wanted to visit for a long time that you couldn’t as a result of the broken relationship? Yes?
Great! This is a good time to go; go somewhere far away from them. This will help you recuperate quickly and get back to your normal self.
7. Find another Partner
This is the final and most important of all the steps if you intend to get over an ex quickly. Though, getting that instantly can be a terrible idea most of the time. Nevertheless, it works magic! I have testified to that and many others that I know too. To be frank, this always works for me. By doing so, your present partner will fill in the void your ex left thereby, making it easier for you to move on.
Your present partner may not be a perfect replacement, but a sure way to help you in this predicament of yours.
One thing to know is that regardless of whether or not he/she is better than your ex, you will end up achieving your aim.
Related: 12 Factors to Consider When Choosing a Life Partner
Conclusion
Some breakups or divorces can be a result of misunderstanding or mistake, while others are purely intentional; intentional in the sense that both parties want the dissolution of the relationship. If the former is the case, then only a little effort is needed to get over them, but if the latter is the case, then it can be a herculean task. However, the fact that you are here already, your problem is half solved.
Letting go of an ex, most especially one you were very fond of may be very difficult. Some exes are easy to get over with while others, most especially the clingy ones, can be a pain in the butt. Nevertheless, follow the above steps – one after the other or simultaneously, and see yourself becoming a new person free from them and already moving on.
How helpful do you find this article? Please share in the comments section, or if you think I missed out on some steps.
Related: 7 Reasons Why Relationships Fail.
