Being kind and helpful is no doubt a good thing, however, people-pleasers are known for doing whatever it takes to make other people happy. They tend to prioritize other people’s needs over theirs. They are sensitive to others and are frequently regarded as agreeable, helpful, and kind. People-pleasers may, however, have difficulty advocating for themselves, which can lead to a harmful pattern of self-sacrifice or self-neglect. This article seeks to tell you the reasons why you need to stop being a people pleaser.
Furthermore, people-pleasing has been linked to a personality trait known as ‘sociotropy’, or being overly concerned with pleasing others and earning their approval in order to maintain relationships.
Why People Develop People-Pleasing Behaviour
People-pleasing behaviour is rarely developed as a result of a single factor, however, a combination of two or more psychological variables has been known to be a trigger.
1. You Are Insecure
People may try to please others because they are concerned that if they do not go out of their way to make others happy, they will not be liked. Prior rejection by other people can lead to feelings of insecurity, which might prompt people-pleasing to gain acceptance from people.
2. You Probably Have Poor Self-Esteem
In other cases, due to a lack of self-confidence, people have a need for external validation. In addition, they may believe that doing things for others will result in approval and acceptance.
3. Past Experiences Forces People to Be People Pleasers
People who have experienced traumatic events in the past as a result of their opinions and choices may try to avoid triggering abusive behaviour in others by pleasing others and being as agreeable as possible.
4. Perfectionism
Sometimes, people just want to have a perfect relationship with everyone around them. They want to be appreciated and loved. In other to achieve that, they tend to do everything to make people around them happy.
People might genuinely want to help others in need, as in the case of altruism. In other cases, people-pleasing is a means of feeling affirmed or appreciated. By making sure that people are happy, they feel as if they are useful and valued—By making people happy, they feel valued.
Why You Need to Stop Being a People-Pleaser
Whereas being a caring person is important in maintaining healthy social relationships. However, it becomes a problem when a person is more concerned about the needs of others at the expense of their emotional well-being.
People-pleasers tend to experience the following emotional conditions:
1. You Will Lack Authenticity When You Become a People-Pleaser
By placing the needs of others over theirs, people-pleasers hide their feelings and opinions. This can lead to a feeling of ingenuity, to an extent, one might not feel alive.
2. You will Always be Angry and Frustrated
Doing things for people out of the mere reason that you want to make them happy often leads to frustration. Anger develops when you understand people are taking advantage of your will to help, this might result to regret, in some cases.
3. You Will Probably Have Anxiety
The constant effort people-pleasers give to make others happy stretches out their strength and resources thin. This leads to mental exhaustion as they are always focused on making people around them happy.
4. Your Willpower Will Be Depleted
Another negative effect of people-pleasing is the reduction in the willpower of people-pleasers to achieve their own goals. Willpower can be a limited resource and utilizing it to make other happy simply means that you don’t get to utilize it towards achieving your goals.
5. You Might Feel Resentful
By putting people’s needs before yours; thereby making them happy, they will appreciate your pleasing nature but might begin to take your kindness for granted. When people start exhibiting such behaviors towards you, you might feel used and to some extent resentful.
Tips on How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser
1. Be Genuine
Always make your own decisions, never let others make them for you. By staying true to yourself, do things because it is right by you and not because it’ll make you look good in people’s eyes. Do not change yourself for others and people will respect you for it.
2. Accept Yourself
When you accept and love who you are, you care more about what you think of yourself than what others think of you. Acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses and using them to your advantage is a means to accepting yourself. When you are confident about who you are, others will accept you as you are.
3. Establish Boundaries
Establish clear and specific boundaries on what you are willing to take on. When it seems like someone is asking too much of you, let them know it is over the bounds of what you are willing to do, no hard feelings. This helps in making sure you don’t place people’s needs over yours.
4. Spend Some Time by Yourself
Whereas isolation could easily lead to some mental issues, spending some time alone helps you to understand yourself and often leads to self-confidence. People are afraid of being alone as they dread being lonely, bored, or anxious.
When you are alone there’s no one to please but yourself. Understanding your thoughts and feelings can also help you find out what makes us happy or unhappy. Being able to know ourselves better can be very helpful in many ways.
5. Know That You Can’t Please Everyone
Another reason why you need to stop being a people pleaser is that you should know you can’t please everyone. This is difficult to take in, but you have to accept that you can’t make everybody happy all the time because people’s needs are different from each other. Acting or doing things a certain way to please one person may offend someone else.
Instead of trying to please everyone, act authentically and do things your way, people who like the real you will appreciate and accept you for who you are.
Conclusion
People-pleasing is not a healthy way of living. It’s important to control your life and know that you are important too. People-pleasing can start to feel like a habit and difficult to break out of. But with time, patience, and perseverance, anything is possible.
If being nice is taking its toll on your mental well-being, please talk to a mental health professional to help prioritize your needs and manage your behaviour.
“I guess it’s part of my destiny to live in this state of despair” “I’ve always known I was the problem of myself, the reason why I don’t get along with others” “why does everything seem to be working against me?”. The above statement has become the norm of our society—people living with pains calling it fate. Perhaps, you’ve heard someone say those words or you have sounded them too. This kind of person is said to be an emotionally damaged person. Unfortunately, they may portray emotionally mature signs but deep down they are emotionally broken.
Being emotionally damaged is a state where one’s feelings have been seared by past happenings or emotional neglect from those they had presumed to have loved and trusted. These occurrences often leave the victim hurt, broken, pained, frustrated, and depressed. Such a state is harmful to the well-being of any person, hence, the majority believes hurting others in return would cure their emotional suffering. However, it only makes it grow worse.
1. Emotionally Damaged People Have Love Disorder Problems
Over the years in the state of brokenness, many develop toxic ideology towards love and the opposite sex. Some feel there is no such thing as love and find it difficult to love again. Also, they can’t relate well with their fellow humans and have poor communication skills. Subsequently, they breed unhealthy relationships due to their fears of being hurt again, such as lack of trust and commitment, suspicious attitude, and carefree attitude.
2. Negative Thought Pattern is Normal to Emotionally Damaged Persons
It’s already registered in their subconscious mind that nothing good can happen to them. Hence, they are pessimistic in their thought patterns, expecting bad things to occur sooner or later. Most times, they struggle to accept pleasant things when given to them. They are the types that always doubt every good compliment said to them. In addition, they prefer reading books that encourage such behavior rather than reading self-improvement books.
3. Poor Self Care Habits
An emotionally damaged person experiences a feeling of worthlessness. Hence, they believe they have nothing to live or hope for. Therefore, they don’t take proper care of themselves, have poor nutrition, live in an untidy environment, and look unkempt. Sadly, many of them engage in harmful habits like taking hard drugs to forget about their pains which gradually affects their memory retention ability.
Interestingly, they won’t encourage others to take hard drugs to showcase emotionally mature signs whereas they aren’t matured.
4. Those Who Are Brokenhearted Enjoy Being Alone
It’s likely to see an emotionally damaged person deserted from others, they don’t associate and have no one to talk with. Even if someone wants to associate with them, they quickly assume the person is there to cause them more pain. Their daily life schedule is built upon a pattern of boredom. One of their greatest fears is rejection, hence they rather don’t associate than suffer rejection.
5. An Emotionally Damaged Person Live with the Feeling of Guilt, Shame, and Regret
A vast majority of those who have been hurt emotionally think that what happened to them was their fault to some extent. Therefore, they are caged in perpetual guilt, shame, and regret, wishing they could turn back the hands of the clock. This attitude deprives them of enjoying life, and they can’t stay happy at their workplace which reduces their productivity at work.
6. Unexplainable Anger Revolves Around Emotionally Damaged Persons
Being brokenhearted makes one naturally angry with themselves and life in general. This kind of anger can be destructive because it’s backed up by pain, hurt, and revenge. This set of people are yet to learn how to recognize their emotions. Hence, they experience mood swings, this minute they are sad, next they are angry, changing from one negative emotion to another.
7. Emotionally Damaged Persons Are Hunted by their Past
Emotionally matured signs include one’s ability to forget the past and move on to a better tomorrow. However, the case is different when it comes to those who are emotionally damaged, they are always seeing flashbacks from their past. This is because they have intentionally refused to let go of the past and are always reliving the past. Hence, they can’t enjoy the present or look forward to a better tomorrow.
8. They Suffer From Low Self-esteem
Oftentimes those who have been hurt emotionally develop low self-esteem. They think less of themselves and deprive themselves of the necessity of life. Unfortunately, we dictate how others should think or treat us by the way we treat ourselves. Hence, it appears as though everyone they come in contact with has a problem with them, and regards them with less or no value at all.
This mindset keeps them from trying something new or going after their goals due to fear of failure. Therefore, they enjoy living the life of a mediocre or an average person.
9. An Emotionally Damaged PersonsHarbors Unforgiveness and Resentment
People who have experienced hurt and pain find it so difficult to forgive those who have caused them pain. Sadly, unforgiveness and resentment are dangerous to one’s mental health and well-being in general. It makes them resentful towards others who haven’t done them wrong but have a connection or similarity to those who have wronged them.
10. Emotionally Hurt Person Are Caged in the Web of Insomnia
A vast majority of those with shattered emotions may disguise and show emotionally mature signs in public, but one thing they can’t pretend with is their inability to have a sound sleep. The inability to sleep comfortably is term insomnia. For emotionally damaged persons they spend most of their night thinking of their past which can’t be changed or devising a means of revenge. Oftentimes, since they are hunted by their past life many of them do have nightmares.
Conclusion
The aim of this post isn’t to make you feel guilty but that you seek help to break free from the grip of emotional pains and regrets. You should associate with helpful friends, take your self-care seriously, allow yourself to be loved again, and stay away from things that remind you of your pains. Most importantly, endeavor to see a therapist who will guide you through complete recovery and help you develop emotionally mature signs.
Perhaps, you’ve been emotionally damaged before and have overcome, what was your experience like and how did you scale through?
Setting boundaries in relationships is crucial in maintaining a healthy social rapport with others. In the world today, we’re constantly interacting with people, physically or digitally. It is vital that you set boundaries in your relationship as it helps regulate the behaviour of others towards you.
Boundaries are like limits. Think of it as a house with a fence around it. You can have neighbours around you but your fence limits the extent to which strangers can trespass on your property. It safeguards you from intruders whilst maintaining your safe space.
Due to our interactive nature as humans, we find ourselves in different forms of relationships. In the working environment, we establish professional relationships with our colleagues. With our partners, we engage in romantic relationships. However, whatever form of relationship you’re in, setting boundaries in such a relationship is the key to sustaining its longevity.
Let’s get right into the importance of setting boundaries in a relationship.
5 Reasons Why Setting Boundaries in a Relationship is Important
1. Build Healthy Relationships
A popular misconception about setting boundaries is that it keeps people apart. Wrong! On the other hand, setting boundaries keep toxicity out of your relationships.
I had a friend who was always using my things without returning or replacing them appropriately. I like meticulousness. Unable to condone my things always getting missing, I demanded that if he would not return my things, he could as well forget about using them. Within months, he was conscious of returning my things appropriately and on time.
When you set limits to what you can and cannot condone in a relationship, you are building the foundation for a healthy relationship. As long as you do not communicate what is right and wrong for you, you’d have to put up with people constantly trespassing on your boundaries, leading to constant arguments and unhealthy relationships.
2. Encourages Respect
Mutual respect for one another is one benefit of setting boundaries in a relationship.
Respect is built when partners understand what they should and shouldn’t do and adhere to these clearly stated boundaries. Most relationships collapse because people do not clearly state what they like or dislike, leaving them open to all forms of manipulation and exploitation.
During my first year in the university, I was naive to the strict traditions of my northern peers. Once I attempted to hold a female friend of mine, she immediately rebuked my action, politely. She explained that while holding hands may be normal to others, she was conscious of physical touch with her male friends. This was a personal boundary she had set, which if she hadn’t communicated clearly to me, I would have broken in the future. My respect for her surged like an electrical current.
When your partner keeps breaking the limits you set in your relationship, it simply means they lack respect for you and your principles. Respectful partners are those who understand each other’s boundaries and work together in preserving them.
3. Boundaries Build Responsibility
Setting boundaries in your relationship help cultivate a sense of responsibility to each other.
Boundaries stipulate what we are comfortable with and what makes us uncomfortable. When you and your partner set what behaviour is acceptable and what is not in your relationship, you are both shaping each other’s responsibility in making the relationship work.
Say your partner is a very busy person, a banker maybe. You know calling or chatting at midnight is a “no-no” because they’d most probably be resting. If you do pester them with calls or texts at midnight, it only speaks of how irresponsible you are.
Responsibility stems from the knowledge of the boundaries set in the relationship. If your partner knows your boundaries, it is their responsibility to not ‘cross the line’ and the same goes for you. A relationship without boundaries is prone to all sorts of irresponsibility.
4. Improves Self-Awareness
Outlining your boundaries in a relationship is one way of improving your self-awareness.
Considering that boundaries are your do’s and don’ts, it takes an awareness of who one is to be able to set clear-cut boundaries. Also, it helps regulate how people behave around you and increases your self-esteem.
Recently, I visited a friend of mine who lived off-campus. Entering his room, I noticed a list of do’s and don’ts on the wall and it got me curious. Being so inquisitive, I read through the list and I was amazed. One instruction read “do not press the toothpaste from the middle”. This way, I understood what my host could condone and what he wouldn’t.
Setting limits requires you to be aware of what is the right behaviour for you/with you. It enables you to be conscious of who you are and what you stand for. It establishes you as a person of principle and increases your self-esteem.
5. Boundaries Build Trust
If you don’t have a partner you can trust, then your relationship needs some retrospection.
As partners in a relationship, understanding each other’s boundaries fosters trust. This is because you’re both aware of what behaviour you both term acceptable and what is not. Therefore, you can both trust each other to behave in a way that aligns with your boundaries.
If your partner does not like their things used without permission, you can trust that they won’t condone stealing. If your partner knows you like being prompt on date nights, you can trust them to be early for you.
A partner who continuously breaks boundaries is not worthy of trust. These are potential red flags that must not be overlooked before or during a relationship.
Conclusion
You are the boundaries you set.
Remember that boundaries are a set of actions or behaviours that you condone with limits. Like the house with a fence, your boundaries protect you from being manipulated and hurt.
You might find yourself with few friends but those who stick with you are those whose boundaries you respect and who respect yours too. Before you further any relationship, ensure you set boundaries that are communicated and understood.
In a family system, opposition and competition among siblings can’t be avoided. This is due to individual differences and the desire to be the best at the expense of another person’s well-being. Siblings rivalry may be inevitable, however, certain principles make managing sibling rivalry achievable.
Irrespective of the love and unity among siblings, there always comes a point of disagreement, when not curtailed can tear the home apart. Therefore, it’s your responsibility as a parent to be able to understand each child’s perspective when opposition arises. Most importantly, solve the issue without being biased.
Effective Ways to Manage Siblings Rivalry
1. Think Before Acting When Rivalry Surfaces
Whenever there seems to be friction between your kids, your first line of action is to calm yourself down. This prevents you from acting out of anger or siding one child over the other. Most importantly, you’re able to understand what exactly is the root cause of the problem, who is at fault, and what solution is best.
In addition, learn to discipline your kids in love and avoid correcting them through violence. In other words, disciplining in love makes your kids see their faults and make amends or improve their character. However, violence makes their character grow worse, decreases the love bondbetween you and that child, and causes them to become violent with other siblings and peers. Also, that child begins to develop enmity towards you as a parent.
2. Treating all Siblings Equally Minimizes Rivalry
Managing sibling rivalry demands that all kids be treated equally—no discrimination. Sincerely, everyone is unique in their way. However, don’t let one child’s weakness or strength influence how you relate with your children. Remember your kids are good observers, once they notice you have a favourite, the rivalry begins to surface as a means of expressing their emotional neglect.
This reminds me of my childhood experience. One faithful day my mom returned home and brought presents for me and my brother. Innocently, she gave me a pair of shoes and gave my brother the same with the addition of a football. I had no need for football but at the same time felt cheated and unloved— immediately, my mood changed. My mom noticed and began questioning, when the cause of my mood change was discovered, without much time wastage it was corrected.
In other words, as a parent, it’s expected of you to love and relate with all your kids equally. Most importantly, gender should not dictate how you treat your kids. Female children are entitled to all rights and benefits just like male children. Discrimination is one of the parenting mistakes to avoid as a parent. Also, discrimination affects both academic performances, social ability, emotional intelligence, physical and moral behavior of a child.
3. Celebrate Your Kids Uniqueness and Differences
Siblings begin to compete with each other when they think less of themselves—low self-esteem. Hence, managing sibling rivalry requires creating time to acknowledge and celebrate your kid’s uniqueness. This act helps them see the best in themselves and erase the feeling that another is better than them. Also, while doing this don’t exalt one child highly in the midst of another, this often stirs up hatred towards that child from the rest of the siblings.
Amazingly, the more you celebrate your kids, they begin to embrace each other in love, seeing the need for each other. Gradually, it becomes clear to them that teamwork is the fastest route to arrive at their destination, not rivalry.
4. Study Your Kids Temperament
To a large extent one’s thinking, behaviour and reactions are influenced by our temperament. Therefore, managing sibling rivalry demands that you should learn about your kid’s temperament. So you can create a conducive atmosphere for each child to avoid feuds that may result from temperament clashing. The major temperament types include sanguine—outspoken, choleric—leadership incline, melancholy—creative innovators, and phlegmatic—easy going.
Studying your kids’ temperament enlightens you the most on how to group your kids to an assignment. For instance,
the choleric me and my immediate brother who is more of a phlegmatic can’t be on the same team, because a choleric who is activity-driven will be irritated by the nonchalant attitude of a phlegmatic.
Whereas, the reverse is the case when paired with my other siblings who are more of a melancholy temperament. Likewise, a creative melancholy will be annoyed by the playful, unserious sanguine attitude.
5. Practice and Emphasis the Act of Love overall
An atmosphere of love reduces rivalry among siblings. Furthermore, boost the attitude of understanding and unity. In essence, siblings can relate friendly with each other and cooperate to achieve a given task. It’s wrong to assume that your kids know and understand how much you care and value them. Therefore, take a step further by professing your love to your kids—say it; I love you!
Also, your actions should portray love, this includes buying them gifts, allowing them to make their own decisions—stop imposing your will on your kids, remember they have a mind of their own. Most importantly, let your reaction show love like being happy when they do something great and disciplining in love among others.
6. Assign Creative Punishment when Necessary
Having understood the reason behind the opposition between siblings and detecting who is at fault. What comes next, is your ability to allocate reasonable punishment to prevent such reoccurrence. However, punishment in this context doesn’t mean violence; using sharp objects to flog a child or withdrawal of certain benefits.
7. Rewarding Good Behaviour Reduces Siblings Rivalry
One of the ways to show approval over your kid’s behaviour is by rewarding and commending their good behaviours. In essence, whenever they relate with each other unitedly and show a great deal of understanding, they deserve to be rewarded. Ensure you let them know why they are being rewarded so they can continue on that path.
8. Ensure Your Kids are Occupied with the Needful
Oftentimes, idleness leads to opposition and hatred towards those that seem to be busy chasing their own goals. Hence, managing sibling rivalry requires that you get all your kids occupied with the needful—valuable activities. This includes developing their passion, learning soft skills, or assisting with the home chores.
Conclusion
To effectively learn the act of managing sibling rivalry, create a time when the family can come together and discuss matters. The more often this is done, everyone gets to express how they feel, understand how their other siblings think, feel, and the drive behind their behaviours. In addition, what’s your best method in managing sibling rivalry?
The goal of participating in this challenge is to better yourself, self-improve your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. I know along the line, some may stop but I promise you, you’ve got nothing to lose but more to gain. This challenge is aimed towards finding inner peace, discovering oneself, challenging oneself, and as a result be a better person. Give this challenge a go as it takes just 30 days to see the impact in your life. You can write it down in a jotter, place them somewhere close to your bedside, design a board, or set an alarm to remind you. Now, transform your life with this December challenge in 2021.
Let’s go!
December 2021 Challenge
Day 1: Set a Goal for This Challenge
Hello! I don’t know what your goal for this challenge is but now is the time to decide on one or two.
What is your goal? Work on this and come to a decision because this will motivate you towards bringing your best to the table.
Do you want clear skin? Do you want abs and biceps?
Are you intending to start a workout routine?
Or do you want to work towards a new degree?
Set that goal now!
Day 2: Set Up a Morning and Evening Routine
What’s a December challenge in 2021 without a routine? Having a routine will help you in working towards that goal and also it becomes a habit in the long run.
Have tea at 9 am.
Read a book at 10 pm.
It could even be something with more activity but always come up with something you want to make sure you do every morning and night every day.
Day 3: Meditate for at Least 30 Minutes
Meditation is the sole act of focusing the mind on a particular thought, object, or activity to train attention and awareness, to achieve a mentally clear and emotional, calm, and stable state.
You should incorporate this as a part of your morning routine as it helps in reducing stress and anxiety.
Day 4: Make a List of What You’re Most Grateful for in This December Challenge 2021
This is quite easy and not much of a hassle. There are many things in life to be grateful for and being alive is the most important. Make a list of things you are most grateful for and reflect on them every now and then. This ultimately motivates you to not give up on that goal you’ve set for yourself.
Give up on junk foods and other foods that are bad for you.
Go without alcoholic drinks.
Also, you can go without starchy foods for a month. I mean, this is a self-improvement and personal development December challenge in 2021, so I had to include health in it.
Challenge yourself to take out junk, sugar, and alcohol from your diet for this month. Let’s go!
Day 6: Read a Book or at Least 50 Pages
There are books for this challenge, for growth, inspiration, motivation, and many more. They are indeed the best when it comes to attaining self-improvement and personal development in one’s life.
Day 7: Challenge Yourself to Do Something Creative
When it comes to self-improvement, your mind should be open to creativity and brainstorming –be it painting, drawing, just anything. Do something that gets your mind to think out of the box.
Try to make it fun though.
Normal is boring.
Day 8: Ask Yourself the “What do I want in life?” Question in December Challenge 2021
This question when answered by you either motivates or encourages you. It does no harm at all. Determine what your career goals should be, what your passion and hobbies are, what gets you going, and what fulfils you.
Write them down and let them be your ultimate guide to self-attainment.
Day 9: Decide on a New Goal
I know, that was fast. It’s a week already but a week of purpose. Now, set up a thing or things you want to get done for the coming week.
Week 1 was about setting a goal or goals which you must have in mind now. Now, this week must carry a new goal. Decide what you want. Good luck with that.
Day 10: Create a Vision/Dream Board
A vision/dream board is a collage of images, pictures, words, and affirmations of one’s dream and desires, designed to serve as a source of inspiration and motivation.
This board gives you the ‘my vision/dream will be a reality’ feeling as you see it every day and it kick-starts your day with positivity. Make sure to add images, throw in quotes, cut out pictures, and make the board attractive and realistic to look at every day.
Day 11: Walk Down a Self-Discovery Lane
“The challenge is in the person in front of the mirror” they always say.
Look at yourself, know yourself, and discover who/what you are. For me, it took a long while to realize what my talents are but right now, I’m doing just that and I’m getting a handle on things by making things better. It’s been fun, worthwhile, and worth it.
Discover yourself and that will be the greatest thing you’ve accomplished and that will be the guide you need to take the next step towards growth, self-improvement, and personal development.
Day 12: Listen to Educative Talk Shows and Podcasts
Music is one way to relax. That I know but sometimes, switch things up a bit. Listen to educational shows and podcasts that are inspirational and motivational.
They uplift and encourage you to do something. Give this a try.
Day 13: Try Yoga in This December 2021Challenge
Like meditation, yoga is the next thing you need for mental health and alertness. There are different yoga programs you could look up online.
Check one out and indulge yourself in it. It’s either going to be yoga for you or meditation.
Day 14: Spend Time Outside
Do you know that 10 minutes walk you see people do in the movies? Yes. That is the boost for your mind, mood, body, and soul. It instantly uplifts you when nature hits you or you see beautiful sceneries around you.
Indulge in this when you can and I promise, it will definitely brighten you up or maybe meet the love of your life outside. Who knows?
Day 15: Try Something New
Like I said, instead of music, try an educational podcast. Trying something new is the trick you need sometimes to discover yourself in one way or another. Try something new once in a while helps you discover yourself more, what you like and do not like, what makes you happy, and what irks you.
There just might be a hobby out there for you that you haven’t realized. You just have to figure it out. If it’s something productive and of great service and benefits to people, then just set up a business or give help to people. Be kind.
Day 16: Make a Decision
Now that you’ve discovered yourself, what are those bad habits you want to get rid of, and what are those you want to improve on? What makes you a better person and what doesn’t?
Work on this and make a decision as this is a challenge for self-improvement and personal development. You really should work on those characters.
Day 17: Ask Yourself Where You Want to Be in 5 or 10 Years?
I want to be married.
I want to be a renowned writer/author.
I want to be a model.
Take a big look at this and picture it. Start planning how you are going to get there, what you should do to be there, and what sacrifices must be made. Take baby steps towards them.
Day 18: Challenge Yourself to Do Things Alone, Just You
Self! Alone! Solo! Just you, YOLO!
Walk on this self-improvement path by challenging yourself to do things alone. Go out alone, do things you do with friends alone, go on a date with yourself. This makes you a happier person as you tend to get comfortable with being by yourself all alone. Single life rocks.
Day 19: Keep a Journal
Okay! This isn’t old school or anything odd, I keep one myself. Keeping a journal is extremely important, most especially with regards to mental health. Write about anything and everything, every feeling, and accomplishment. Keep check about yourself and your life.
This makes things clear to you. Also, you gain control of your emotions and you begin to discover yourself. It takes time but baby steps, yeah.
Day 20: What Do You Want to Achieve in Life?
I want a car.
I want a medal.
I want to be famous.
Have a bucket list? Write them down and work towards checking them off slowly but surely.
Day 21: Try Something Out of Your Comfort Zone
“If you’re in your comfort zone, you’re not growing” the saying goes.
This is self-explanatory. So, do at least one thing challenging and less comforting every day.
Day 22: Travel to a New Place as a December Challenge 2021
This is one of the best ideas when it comes to self-improvement and personal development. This gives you the opportunity to do not only new things but also see new places, check out new areas, find yourself and of course, try out new food. In the long run, this will give you inner peace and inspiration towards the way you see and appreciate life.
If you want to attain self-improvement and personal development, exercising should be your go-to. It boosts your mood, gets your heart pumping too (I hear it’s a good thing).
For me, I go to the gym sometimes on Saturdays, and that’s a good start.
Day 24: Write Down Your Dreams and Aspirations
Do you have a list of dreams and aspirations? Write them all down, there’s never a dream that’s too big. Write down what you want in life and out of life, figure it out and at the end, work towards achieving it.
Make a list of what you want to do towards aspiring to that dream; do you want to start photo freelancing to get a model agent or do you want to post about food online to eventually be a food blogger?
Take realistic steps, and work towards them.
Day 25: Get to Spend Some Time with God
Get spiritual yo! Take a time to pray to your Lord, Jesus, or Allah. Say your thanks and tell Him what and how grateful you are. Say what you want Him to help you with and believe.
In our everyday lives, things get tough but let’s never forget our Creator.
Day 26: Positive Talking
This is something I did at home once I think and really, it did what I wanted it to. I wrote in a paper and placed it on the mirror:
“You’re great. You’re beautiful”
It was something small but with a huge magnitude. Saying it during those days made an impact in my life and I love every moment. Write the words you want to say to yourself every day and say them every day.
Go in front of the mirror and say positive words to yourself. This helps to build confidenceand boosts your self-esteem. In the long run, it helps with self-improvement and personal development.
Day 27: Practice Positive Statements
These are words of affirmations to oneself, words of encouragement, and determination. Try to make this a daily habit.
If you can’t find words or come up with for yourself, look them up online. There are a bunch of words of affirmation towards achieving self-improvement and personal development.
Day 28: Avoid Social Media for a Day
Uninstall an app if you really can’t stay without your phone. That’s a challenge for self-improvement and personal development if you can’t stay without it.
This is a hard challenge, I know but really, take a check out of social media for a day.
Day 29: Pamper Yourself
YOLO!
Treat yourself to something nice and exotic. Maybe a bubble bath, go to the beach, a spa, make a vacation plan as you write down your goals for the coming month and year.
Day 30: Set a Goal for the Rest of the Year in December Challenge 2021
Have goals and a plan for the rest of the year. Career goals, finance goals, life goals, marriage goals, couple goals, fitness goals, more challenging goals. Everything goals.
Conclusion
There’s no particular order to take this December 2021 challenge as the numbers could be done for any day.
Congratulations! As you’ve partaken on this journey to self-improvement and personal development. I’m sure that was challenging for you, but that’s the goal there. I hope you’ve made a list for the months to come.
Kindly drop a comment in the comments section below if I missed anything. Also, do let me know which one are you doing. I am eager to know!
