by Fatima Sheikh | Apr 14, 2021 | Family & Parenting
Unlike most of my articles focusing on tips for adults can looking to improve their soft skills, this article is centered on building confidence in children. In my experience working with children, I have come to realize that children are very interesting beings and there is so much to learn from them than you can imagine. Unlike adults, children are free, adventurous, and confident to do what they want and how they want to. But due to lack of experience, they might require guidance from adults in their lives.
Children are recorders and they watch every move and action adults around them take then replicate that action perfectly. This stage is a very critical stage that determines the type of adult the child is going to become in the future.
As an adult or parent with children around, this sensitive stage in the lives of the children requires constant molding and mentoring. A confident child has more likelihood of being successful at handling life pressure, responsibilities, and negative emotions.
Tips on How to Grow Self-Confidence in Children
1. Be Their Role Model
Being their role model helps in building confidence in children. Be what you want your children to be. The easiest way to make children act a particular way is by being that person yourself. Show them by doing it. Don’t be afraid to show them that it is not easy, but teach them that it is normal to fail and also get up to try again. Walk the walk and see them imitate you.
2. Practice More of Positive Self-Talk
You must be kind and use soft kind words with your children. They might test your patience most of the time and it is easy to use a hurtful word on them. These words can affect their self-confidence even till adulthood.
As an adult, you have to be patient with the children and use positive kind words to encourage them. This helps in building confidence in children.
3. Ensure They Know Your Love is Unconditional
This is a tricky one and the most misunderstood tip by most adults dealing with children. Some adults believe the best way to show a child you love them is by buying them all the gifts in the world or letting them get away with everything. But the best way you can show a child love is by being present, supportive, encouraging, kindly correcting their faults and mistakes, helping them discover their potentials, and molding them to be great adults.
Make sure you let them know you love them. This always builds their self-confidence.
4. Resist Comparing Them to Others
The best way to destroy your child’s confidence is by comparing them to their siblings or other children. This always leaves a scar on the child till adulthood, making them doubt themselves and see themselves as less than others. You should know that every child is unique and beautifully made different. Treat every child in their unique way and appreciate their uniqueness.
This surely helps in building confidence in children.
5. Learners are Leaders
Children are curious and are at a stage in their lives where they enjoy learning and trying out new things. As an adult, you should imbibe the culture of learning in your child. Teach them new skills or enroll them to learn new skills. Learners are naturally ahead of their peers.
6. Failure is a Temporary Block
Teach your children that failure is part of life and the growth journey is full of stumbling blocks. The world is full of adults who cannot accept failure. So, by teaching your children to accept failure, you are building them to be confident adults.
7. Encourage Them to Be Expressive
As an African child, respect is the number one moral attribute taught and encouraged. Teach your children to be expressive in a respectable manner. Decide on strategies to use to express their feelings given their moods and feelings. This will go a long way to build confidence in your children.
Conclusion
When dealing with children and how to build their self-confidence, there are tons and tons of strategies to help them get there. Children are in a delicate stage of their lives where they can be molded to be adults with certain traits. If this stage is gotten right, they can turn out to be great adults.
I hope this article was helpful. What other ways do you think you can boost a child’s self-confidence? Share with me in the comments section below. Thank you.
by JB Mairubutu | Apr 8, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
Starting a relationship is not a big deal but having it stand the test of time is what matters. Now there are things couples need to do to make to give their relationships a happy ending. Most relationships die off after a few months because the people involved stopped doing the things, they used to do that made them head heels over each other. In this piece, we will be looking at 10 things to improve your relationship. So, if your once adored relationship is heading towards the rocks then this is obviously for you.
How to Strengthen Your Relationship with Your Partner
1. Improve Communication
Your relationship should be like a wine; the older it gets, the sweeter it is. Couples should always have healthy communication this is the only way to keep it going. Don’t ever get too busy to check on your partner! You might not be able to sustain the every minute calls you used to do in the early days but make sure you call always. You can randomly drop text messages for each other.
This will do so much magic for you.
2. Exchange Gifts
Do not get too used to each other and forget to get each other gifts. It mustn’t be something too big or expensive. Even the cheapest gift can blow the minds of partners who are truly in love. It is not about the gift but the gesture.
Please, do not wait for special occasions to get gifts. Let it be spontaneous; get a thank you for loving me a gift, I’m sorry gift, I love you gift. Do this and see the magic it will do to your rocky relationship.
3. Do Not Keep Secrets
The moment couples start keeping secrets the relationship becomes a shadow of itself. Do not keep secrets. I repeat, do not keep secrets. If you know there is a secret you’re keeping, confess to your partner and let it be genuine.
This is will help the relationship when all is settled.
4. Learn to Apologise
Pride is one killer of relationships. No one wants to take the fall. Nobody wants to apologize. Healthy and lasting relationships are those that couples apologise when they are wrong. When egos are given too much prominence in a relationship everyone feels too big to apologize.
“ I am the man of this house, I can’t apologise, “
“ Eh, he pushed me to it. I can’t say I’m sorry.”
I am sorry are four simple but powerful words. Learn to tell your partner you’re sorry and you would see how the relationship will grow.
5. Develop the Habit of Saying I Love You
Often times, when a relationship is new it is very easy for couples to hurl endearing words of I love you every now and then at each other but once it is getting old, it stops.
Now, this might be one reason why your relationship has turned into a rat and cat type of relationship. Couples should endeavour to tell each other they love each other. Say it on the phone, send it as a text, write it on a note, tell him or her when you’re together.
These three words are very powerful.
6. Go on Dates
Don’t ever get tired of this. This is one of the 10 things to improve your relationship. You don’t need to go to an expensive place and it shouldn’t be always but at least once a month.
7. Learn to Remember Little Details
Those things you see as they don’t matter can ruin your relationship. If you want things to keep getting better for you and your partner it is very important that the two of you should remember little details, it could be work, events etc.
8. Learn to Forgive Easily
Little foxes ruin the vine. Oftentimes, we allow those little arguments to affect our relationships because we find it very difficult to forgive.
When we learn to forgive easily, we will notice our healthy our relationship will be. Learn to forgive, do not keep malice or a grudge.
9. Always Express your Appreciation
Your partner doesn’t need to get you a private jet before you show your appreciation. Appreciate those little efforts. You can show appreciation even if he or she does things that are meant to be their duty.
Show appreciation it will go a long way.
10. Pull up Surprises
Out of the blue just pull up a surprise and you would see the glint in his or her eyes. Couples should make a habit of surprising each other.
You can decide as a man to cook dinner for her. You can decide to show up at his office and take him out for lunch, of course, bills on you. Surprises just like the other points we have talked about improve a relationship.
Conclusion
If you were on the verge of breaking up, take a minute, read and digest these 10 things to improve your relationship. Practice, and you will see changes.
by Happiness Hassan | Apr 8, 2021 | Family & Parenting
Kids are expressions of the type of family they come from. Hence, it’s easy to detect when a child is brought up from a mannered home or a disorganized home by their behaviours. It’s the responsibility of parents to teach their children the proper way to live in society. This can’t be achieved when there is no bond between parents and their kids. However, there are various activities that help increase parents bonding with kids.
What Activities Increases the Bond Between Parents and Their Children?
1. Deactivate The Strict Mode
Parents in an attempt to discipline their children put on strict, unapproachable looks, most especially fathers. They believe such looks increase the level of honour and respect received from their children. However, this approach imprints fear into your kids and creates separation. Along the line, your kids become secretive about what’s going wrong with them, perhaps share with someone else.
Amina was sexually abused severally by her class teacher who claimed to tutor her for her entrance exams. Amina had no one to run to, not even her mom due to her parent’s unapproachable looks. She decided to retaliate and amid the struggle, he slammed her head against the metal door, she slumped and started bleeding profusely. Amina was taken to the hospital, where she regained her consciousness having received intense treatment.
Afterwards, the doctor discovered other damages done to her reproductive organs. Hence, he called her parents into his office and told them about their daughter’s conditions. Right in front of the doctors, her dad flared up in anger ready to bounce on Amina for living a promiscuous lifestyle at such a tender age.
However, the doctor who had earlier discussed with Amina calmed her parents and further explained how their daughter found herself in such a mess because of their strict behaviour towards her. As parents, they weren’t open to their daughter and that made her secretive about the issue. In essence, become free with your kids to prevent unfortunate future events.
2. Set Rules and Boundaries
This is an antidote to being strict with your kids. It’s helpful when rules are set to regulate your children’s activities. It makes them believe you care for them and want the best for them. For instance, permit your kids to go out and hang out with their friends at a stipulated time.
Due to the boundaries, they tend to return home on time with so much joy to share their experience with you. Hence, to know more about your kids don’t restrict or confine them within the walls of your house.
3. Play With Your Kids
Furthermore, parents bonding with kids is made easier when they play together with their kids. It is true children prefer to hang out with their peers compared to their parents, but it is made possible through the activities they engage in with their parents at home. The togetherness with your kids is strengthened when you play with them.
Such activities could include playing games, visiting recreational places, engaging in sporting activities, and lots more help to foster the bond.
4. Consider Their Opinions
Parents feel they know what’s best for their kids. However, to enhance the bond with your kids consider their perspectives. Be slow to shut them up without hearing the reason behind their choice.
Denying your kids of their freedom of choice decreases their creativity.
Hence, as responsible parents always support your kids. Perhaps, you perceive their choice might endanger them, make them understand through the application of the 7 C’s of communication.
5. Eat Together as a Family
As a family, the bond of love and unity is ignited when eating together. This provides a platform to boost the bond of love. Also, loosen the atmosphere a bit by complementing the meal and some table jokes.
Preferably, during this period offer to dish out the meal for your kids and observe their reaction while they eat. This is particularly more active during breakfast and dinner.
6. Show Love by Saying It
Never assume your kids know how much you love them by paying their bills. Move a step higher and show love through gifts, shopping together, helping with their school works, and engaging in craft activities together. Also, cultivate the habit of cuddling and patting your kids.
Most importantly tell them you love them countless times a day. Show your kids more love when they fail at doing something new, your act of love has the power to encourage them to try again and better. This will help parents in bonding well with their kids.
7. Prioritize Bedtime Stories
This might appear irrelevant, but it works accurately and it’s an effective method that boosts parents bonding with kids. Some of the benefits of bedtime stories include; learning moral lessons, increasing cognitive skills and more.
Seize their bedtime period, hop in bed with them, tell them a story, and say a word of prayers before leaving.
Fortunately, during bedtime stories, kids get to relax and open up to you about how their day went and things bothering them. Therefore, cherish bedtime stories.
8. Work Together With Your Kids
You would get to know more about your kids when you allow them to help around with the house chores. Instead of doing it all alone while your kids stay and watch you or play games, invite them to help you. Give them chores to work on.
Don’t feel as though you are stressing them out. I tell you, it’s a perfect way of grooming your kids to be hardworking and also drawing them closer to you, thereby increasing the bond with them.
9. Teach Them About Their Faith
Don’t abandon your kids to the teaching received from school or a nanny only, although nothing is wrong with learning from school. But, the knowledge communicated is limited and would not expatiate into their faith and belief systems.
Therefore, create time, probably thrice a week to sit with them and discuss at length the things you as a parent believes. This practice opens your kids to other perspectives.
10. Spend Quality Time With Your Kids
Always spend quality time with your kids by balancing your schedule. It is one way to enhance bonding with. When you claim to be busy for your kids they become vulnerable to improper advice from peers and other mediums.
In addition, parents bonding with kids is achievable when you’re always there for them. Most importantly, listen to their needs, and provide a solution to their problem.
Also, Practice a heart-heart chat once in a while with your kids.
11. Minimize Corporal Punishment
Raising kids is tasking to do, as a result of this most parents employ corporal punishment to discipline their children, when they go astray from the expected way of behaviour. However, corporal punishment indirectly creates a separation between you and your kids.
In essence, the level of discipline you give to your children should be maximized, don’t inflict injuries on your child in a bit to punish them for their wrong.
Conclusion
A strong bond between you and your kids can either increase or decrease based on how you treat and interact with your kids. Hence, the above-mentioned steps are ways of boosting the chances of parents bonding with kids. However, don’t become extremely lenient to correct them, to combat this, endeavour to set rules and guidelines to govern your relationship with your kids.
Finally, don’t forget to drop your comments regarding this post below.
by Rebecca Bala | Apr 8, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
Our evolution into a digital world has been proven to do so much good. The introduction of social media which is known to make our work easy, improve marketing, and connect the world by easing our communication is one innovation we couldn’t be more grateful for. Social media has become an essential part of our lives and imagining a life without it is almost impossible. Does it do any harm? Oh yes! Social media can become catastrophic to our relationships if not managed well and used within limits. Are you wondering how social media ruins relationships? These are 7 ways it can!
1. Social Media Gives Room for Comparison
With the amount of information people put out on the media, it is almost impossible to not want to compare your life with others. You see a girl posting the expensive presents she received from her boyfriend on her birthday and you wonder whether her boyfriend has two heads that your boyfriend cannot do the same.
It can cause you to put unnecessary pressure on your partner and that can cause a strain in your relationship. It fuels discontentment and it makes it difficult for you to be satisfied or pleased. You can lose a good relationship because you wanted to be like someone whose life is probably fake. Every relationship is unique and you have to learn to be content with your partner no matter how imperfect they are.
2. It Breeds Distrust
Looking through the comment section of your partner’s social media page is totally normal but looking through it and seeing comments from a previous love interest or some admirer, opens room for insecurities and distrust.
A lady was getting ready for a dinner with her boyfriend and as she looked through the gram, she saw a comment from her boyfriend’s previous lover. The comment implied that they had met recently and she was mad. She began to undress in fury as different scenarios played through her mind. Is he cheating on me? Did he ever break up with her in the first place?
That relationship ended that night but what the lady didn’t know was that her boyfriend went to see the ex-lover to tell her he was done with her and he was planning to settle with his new partner. This is an example of how social media ruins relationships.
3. It Encroaches in Quality Time
For any relationship to thrive, quality time with your partner is very important. It doesn’t always have to be long but it should be qualitative. Usually, partners use this time to talk, listen, and give each other undivided attention but now, you can find two partners hanging out but they both have their eyes fixed on the phone – probably tweeting or entertaining themselves. Some people may even live together but communicate via text. Consider this scenario:
You are having a nice time with your partner and all they are concerned about is filming it so you both can oppress people online. Instead of actually enjoying the moment, they are busy trying to capture your best moments for the gram.
4. Social Media Deprive You of Your Privacy
Social media ruins your relationships by depriving you of your privacy. The temptation to put all of your business out there for others to see is a hard one to resist. There’s the need to prove to others that your relationship is perfect. Moments that are meant to be Intimate and private become public because of your constant need for validation or public opinion. The problem is that as you keep sharing private things with the public, you create room for other people to give comments on your relationship. Some of those comments are capable of destroying your relationship. Sometimes it puts ideas in your head. And if your partner is a private person, they can get upset if they find out everyone is in their business.
I recently read the story of a popular couple who just ended their engagement and while different rumours were passing round concerning the split up, the bride wrote a message to the public and said these words “please respect our privacy”. I literally screamed too late because the whole of social media folks were already analyzing the situation and giving their opinions on it.
If you want your privacy, do not put your private business out there for everyone to see. Limit what you share.
5. Pressures to Live Up to People’s Expectations
Maintenance of a certain status on social media has become the new norm. Social media says if you are in a relationship you have to cohabit, go on vacations, serenade your partner, and visit exquisite restaurants. Then, you find yourself visiting a very expensive restaurant you do not like and cannot afford because it looks good for the gram. You are starving so you can afford to go on a vacation.
Having to constantly do things for the gram is how social media ruins your relationship.
6. Social Media Increases the Chances of Infidelity
As social media connects you to a lot of people, it also increases your chances of infidelity. There’s little or no control when it comes to posting nudes and provocative pictures making it easy to be attracted to another person. You can just slide into any DM, probably even sext with strangers without your partner finding out. It can also cause you to be emotionally detached from your partner since you now have a new chatting buddy.
7. It Brings about Addiction
Social media can be very addictive. It’s slowly becoming the story of many users. Imagine the first thing your partner does is check their phones and notifications before greeting you good morning. In addition, they are constantly on the phone trying to keep up with the latest news and trends, obsessed with getting every detail of your lives out for everyone to see.
Their screen time is more than the time you spend together talking. They seem to prioritize their fans and followers than you. Not only will this cause conflict, but it can also go as far as ending the relationship.
Conclusion
You can get so carried away with social media that you become oblivious to how social media ruins your relationship and the damages involved. You have to regulate your screen time and have limits to what you put out there. This will help maintain privacy and your sanity as well.
Use the media healthily and responsibly.
I hope you find this article worthwhile. You could also tell us other ways social media ruins relationships. Thank you.
by JB Mairubutu | Apr 3, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
I have spoken to several people who are in a relationship and when I ask them what their deal-breaker is, they tell me without missing words, “Cheating!”. Although there are a few that cheating isn’t the deal-breaker for them that isn’t our concern in this article. Some say when a partner cheats on them it makes them feel less of themselves; it leaves a negative print on them and that’s why they can never condone a cheating partner. What about you? Can you condone a cheating partner? Anyways, in this article, we will be looking at cheating signs in a relationship.
Cheating Signs in A Relationship
1. When Communication Starts to Drop
The unspoken rule in a relationship is having good communication. That is why it is a relationship I’m the first place. No communication, no relationship. When your partner starts breaking communication by give excuses why he or she might be able to keep up with the communication.
You often hear excuses like, “ I have been busy”, “ I don’t feel like it.” He or she might even avoid you guys having a face to face communication. This is a sign that your partner might be seeing someone else.
2. Your Partner Becomes Unreachable Sometime
When you notice that there is a particular period you can’t reach your partner maybe via phone calls or so. It is a sign that he is cheating on you or if you are living together, he uses his phone more often at a particular time, answers a particular call and goes far away or chats for a long period at a particular time.
Sir and Ma, your baby is keeping another baby.
3. When your Partner Gets Angry at Every Small Thing
When one is tired of a relationship or seeing someone else one might get irritated by one’s partner easily. He or she starts to find faults in every little thing you do. Man, it is a sign that he or she is seeing someone else. Situations like this can make even your good gesture seem bad.
4. When Their Friends Get Uncomfortable Around You
There is a likelihood that the person being cheated on might be the last person to find out whereas friends are always in the know. When you notice that or her friends are acting funny around you and they try to avoid you by all means. It is a sign that your man or woman is cheating on you.
5. Emotional Intimacy Begins to Die
When a partner cheats or is cheating, he or she begins to detach from the real partner emotionally. If you notice that the strain in your emotional Intimacy and you’re certain that it isn’t caused by exhaustion from work. It is glaring that he or she is seeing someone else. He or she wouldn’t want to touch you not to talk or to kiss you.
Anything that looks like intimacy with you he or she runs off. Just know that your relationship is about to end and another is about to begin.
6. When Your Partner Begins to Compare
If your partner starts a new habit of comparing you with someone that he calls his friend or acquaintance. Gee, he or she may be cheating on you perhaps with that person. “ Dress like this, this is how this person wears her dress and it is classy. Why not you do this? Can’t you see how this so so the person does his thing? This is one of the big cheating signs in a relationship.
7. When They Start Using their phone secretly
There is a sudden change in how your partner uses his or her phone. He or she starts to guard the phone as life depends on it. You can’t even touch it to check the time, you might be pounced on.
This is a sign that he or she is hiding someone from you.
8. When They Get Close with Someone of the Opporsite Sex
You notice that all of a sudden your partner is becoming very close to someone of his or her opposite sex. They talk for long periods, exchange text messages and are all over each other on social media. He or she might even be colleagues. This could be that you’re being cheated on.
Related: Does Social Media Ruin Relationships?
9. Their Schedule Becomes Different
Most people in a relationship know the schedule of their partners. How so? When you give a round down of your day’s activities every day, your partner becomes accustomed to your schedule.
When you notice that you can’t keep tabs on his or her activities anymore. They changed their schedules and you aren’t even aware. It is a sign that there is someone new and the change of schedule is to fit the person in their lives.
10. When They Demand More Intimacy
If your partner starts to demand more sex in a relationship, don’t be deceived and think he or she has more cravings for you ( maybe in some situations) but most times your partner is trying to cover up a lie so he or she tries to do more so you wouldn’t suspect.
If your partner starts to look less interested in sex then it is obvious that he or she is seeing someone else and they aren’t interested in making love to you anymore.
Conclusion
We have talked about signs of a cheating partner in a relationship but we cannot tell you what to do or what not to do. Just do whatever brings you peace and always learn to love yourself. It is important. You should check out these quotes that will help motivate your relationship.
Hope you had fun reading this?
