by Musa Bala | Mar 23, 2022 | Health & Wellness
Mental health professionals have always emphasized that our mental health is as important as our physical health, sometimes even more. Some people tend to easily get back to their feet after an emotional challenge while others find it difficult, this depends on their mental strength and capabilities. In this article, we’ll discuss how to be mentally strong.
When you encounter an emotional challenge, do you quickly and easily make a resolve, thereby going on with your daily life or do you tend to linger in that distressing emotional state longer than it affects your daily life? If you fall in the latter, this means you have low emotional/mental strength, however, there’s no cause for alarm. There are several practicable strategies and techniques that can develop your emotional resilience and help you become mentally strong.
Our life experiences are the mediums by which our emotional resilience is tested. The loss of a job, the death of a loved one, or the end of an important relationship; these experiences test our mental strength and the way we handle them determines how mentally strong we are.
What is Mental Strength?
Mental strength is the ability of an individual to effectively manage stressors and challenges they encounter, regardless of the situation they find themselves in.
It is important that you note that just as you go to do gym and exercise to build your muscles and keep your body fit, you must also develop your mental health through the use of mental and psychological strategies and techniques.
A highly developed mental strength helps you to develop positive self-esteem, have meaningful social connections, and ultimately, it enables you to live the life you want. It helps you to try new things, and effectively manage whatever life challenges you might experience.
How to Be Mentally Strong
Mental strength can only be developed when you commit to personal mental development, these are how to be mentally strong:
1. Master Your Emotions
Psychologists and other mental health experts often say the result is determined by your dominant thought. This means that if you think you are going to fail, you’ve already convinced yourself you’ll and there’s a good chance you will fail. It is advised that you maintain a positive mindset always, replace such negative thoughts with “I will do this” thereby convincing yourself you can, and you will eventually do.
Our emotions and dominant thoughts play a big role in how we act in our everyday experiences. So it is important that you acknowledge your feelings and how they affect your behaviours.
2. Focus on One Thing at a Time
While the ability to multitask is seen as an honorary capability, it could also heavily weigh on our minds and affect our mental strength. Always focus on your present, this will help you take in your experiences one after the other and effectively deal with each and every one of them.
When you are spending time with friends, listen to what they are saying, pay less attention to your phone, just take the moment into your mind without worrying about other things you have to do. This will help you develop a good social connection which is important to be mentally strong.
3. Embrace Challenges
As earlier explained, the challenges we experience in our daily life test our mental strength. It is advised you see challenges in your daily life as stepping stones.
When you encounter a challenge, it pushes you to act, and when your action effectively manages the challenge, it gives you clear knowledge and understanding of yourself. This knowledge is reflected in your self-esteem and confidence which is important to building a mentally strong mind.
4. Give Yourself a “Me-Time”
Giving yourself a break after a stressful day or week is important for your mental health. Take this time to do things you genuinely love to do, it could be gaming, reading, baking, exercising, or watching your favourite TV show, anything that helps you relax your mind and by extension, your body.
These me-times help keep your mind refreshed and in a better state of wellbeing to cope with everyday challenges.
5. Take Full Responsibility for Yourself
Understand that your past choices, decisions, and actions are responsible for who you are now. Don’t blame others for actions you’ve taken.
You are more powerful than you’ve realized, erase self-doubt from your mind, and believe in yourself. Once you are able to acknowledge and accept your past actions, decisions and who you are, you can be able to look forward to a more positive future. Having a positive mindset will help you face the challenges life throws at you and this, in turn, makes you mentally strong.
6. Focus on Making Yourself Happy First
It is no doubt that people feel physically stronger when they are happy, the same goes for mental strength. This is expressed when happy people say “I feel like I’m on top of the world, nobody can stop me” and many other self-confident statements.
Avoid making compromises to please others at the detriment of your own happiness. Focus on your personal goals and develop the courage to make decisions that work for you without the fear of disappointing others.
7. Understand That Everyone Makes Mistakes
It is important that you understand that everyone makes mistakes and never let the mistakes you make linger in your mind such that they affect your self-esteem and confidence.
When you make a mistake, consider it a moment to learn and understand the challenge and yourself better such that whenever you experience that challenge again, you can cope better.
8. Feel Free to Ask For Help
Being mentally strong doesn’t mean you have to take care of everything yourself. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone could help provide insights that will likely be beneficial to your mental health.
When you feel stressed, sad, angry, irritable, or frustrated, talking to someone close to you could help as a simple word of encouragement could provide you with the comfort and motivation you need to carry on with your daily activities.
Conclusion
The bases on which mental strength is developed are self-awareness and acceptance. For you to be mentally strong, you must be aware of where and who you are, and also accept them. Only then can you begin to take steps towards developing your mental strength.
Being mentally strong is the outcome of good habits practiced daily, setting boundaries, having self-esteem, and not expecting others to control your life.
FAQs
I want to be mentally strong, how do I get started?
The first important thing you need to do is avoid or remove things that aren’t working for you. Get rid of the negative behaviours which you’ve identified to emotionally derail you and employ good habits that will strengthen your mental well-being.
If I struggle with a mental health issue, does that mean I’m weak?
Not at all, mental health issues can develop in anyone. Mental strength only helps you to manage and cope with symptoms of a mental health issue. It helps you stay mentally healthier but won’t guarantee that you’ll not be mentally ill.
Do I need a therapist to help me get mentally strong?
Some people are able to develop mental strength on their own without the help of mental health professionals. Others do best with the help and guidance of mental health experts or someone who keeps them motivated. Whenever you feel you need the help of someone to overcome an obstacle related to your mental health, reach out to a licensed therapist to help you move forward.
by Precious Alex-Toji | Mar 12, 2022 | Relationships & Weddings
The early stages of relationships are beautiful to behold. With time, there are common relationship mistakes that partners make that affects their chemistry.
Relationships are not as rosy as Netflix makes them seem. Truth be told, it takes more work than people realize. It requires a combination of understanding and patience to keep the fire burning.
Do you know what makes relationships harder?
It’s the fact that there are no relationship manuals in the market to guide you on how to have a ‘perfect’ relationship. Every relationship has its ups and downs. It takes the effort of both partners to make it work.
Alright! Enough of this talking stage. Here are common relationship mistakes people make.
Common Relationship Mistakes
1. Over-Dependence on Your Partner
Being too dependent on your partner without having a life for yourself is a pretty big mistake people in relationships make.
People tend to get lost over heels in love and then lose who they truly are because they halted life outside their relationship. Yes, it is good to find partners who can mutually depend on each other but being in a relationship should not stop you from having a life of your own.
It is healthy for you and your partner to do things on your own once in a while. Go out with your friends and family, spend quality time alone, attend an art exhibition, visit the Emir’s palace.
You do not have to spend all your time with your partner. If you do, you would eventually get used to each other, familiarity sets in, and the relationship becomes “boring”.
2. Expecting Your Partner to Be Perfect
Lovers in the building, hear me out!
Nobody is perfect!
Naturally, as humans, we are built with flaws. This imperfection is what makes us unique as individuals. The beauty of having flaws is having to work through each other’s flaws as partners.
We tend to have these high expectations of what being in a relationship feels like that we overlook the beauty of having flaws.
I remember having an idea of what a perfect relationship should be like at 16. Now I revisit those ideas and I cringe at how naïve I was.
A relationship works well when both partners are willing to work on each other’s imperfections. Some of these flaws can be corrected within days, while some would require time and patience. The goal is to help each other grow as individuals and partners.
Besides, perfection is boring. If you don’t agree, let me know in the comment section.
3. Lack of Boundaries in a Relationship
This should definitely top the list of common mistakes people in relationships make.
Setting boundaries in a relationship is very important because boundaries help your partner know how you want to be treated, your likes and dislikes, and what you can and cannot condone. If you do not set boundaries in your relationship, you are bound to step on each other’s toes.
It is good to note that boundaries define how your relationship goes. If you’re constantly letting down your boundaries for your partner, you’d eventually lose who you are and you’d be building a toxic relationship.
Think of a house without a fence. It is open to trespassers and intruders. Build a fence and that house becomes private and secured. This is exactly what boundaries do.
Boundaries protect your relationships from being toxic. Your partner is not a magician. They do not automatically know what you like and don’t. It is in your best interest to speak out during the early stages of your relationship or while at the talking stage.
4. Not Showing Enough Appreciation to Your Partner’s Love Gestures
At the early stage of the relationship, partners are observant of the actions of their partners, even to the smallest detail. It is so easy to notice the love note they sent through texts or the flowers by the door.
As time goes on, you start getting used to these love gestures and they begin to seem pretty normal to you. At this point, overfamiliarity begins to set in. The moment you get used to saying “I love you” without feeling it, your relationship is approaching its endgame.
Getting too familiar with your partner’s show of affection is a common relationship mistake. It is the little things that matter.
Learn to be appreciative and say “thank you” when you notice these gestures. Being appreciated is a powerful tool in getting people to do more.
Yes! I know you deserve these affections. But show appreciation when you receive these affections.
5. Avoiding Confrontations with Your partner
I am pretty sure that there are people like me that dislike arguments or confrontations. I’d rather avoid whatever the issue is or push addressing it to another day.
This, however, is not healthy for relationships.
Remember earlier, I said we all have differences. These differences shape our actions, thoughts, and behavior. It can also shape your behaviour toward your partner.
When conflicts arise as a result of these differences, do not avoid talking it out with your partner. Confrontations are needed in relationships to help partners resolve their differences.
When you avoid sorting out differences with your partner, you are building little bricks of tension that would one day backfire. Think of it like laying bricks gently on each other. The more you avoid resolving differences, the more bricks pile up. All it takes is a nudge and it all comes crashing down.
The best way to resolve conflict is not by avoiding them but by confronting them. Talk things out with your partner. Find ways to resolve whatever it is that is causing a rift between you and your partner.
6. Improper Communication of Feelings
Being in a relationship is a two-way thing that requires appropriate expression of feelings such that your partner can know exactly how you are feeling.
Not communicating your feelings well is a common relationship mistake people make. That “hard guy” persona would do more harm than good to your relationship.
If you feel hurt by your partner’s actions, say it.
If your partner makes you happy, say it.
Also, if your partner has done something that makes you sad, say it.
Your partner does not have a mind reader to detect how you are feeling. It all depends on how well you can express your feelings appropriately so they know how to react or respond.
Conclusion
There is no step-by-step guide to having a perfect relationship. These points are carefully observed common relationship mistakes people make.
It all lies in the willingness of both partners to put in the work to make it work.
Communication is key to resolving most of these mistakes. Setting boundaries also allows partners to know what is right and what isn’t allowed. This way the proneness to conflicts can be reduced.
FAQs
Is it oK to make mistakes in relationships?
It is okay to make mistakes in a relationship. Nobody can be perfect. We all get better by making mistakes and learning from them.
What is the biggest mistake in a relationship?
The biggest mistake people make in a relationship is refusing to learn from their flaws. When you do something that your partner does not like, it is expected that you learn from this and work on making things right.
It goes beyond apologizing. If your woman doesn’t put the pot cover left opened after dishing your food, learn to be conscious about closing the pot after you’ve taken your food. Learn to work on your flaws and it goes for both genders.
Working on your flaws means you both get to make each other better. This builds bonds between couples and strengthens that chemistry you covet from Netflix dramas.
Things to avoid in a relationship
- Avoid telling everyone you know about the issues in your relationship. If you’re having issues with your partner, work it out together or get a reliable friend to step in.
- Lack of affection between partners can cause the relationship to fail. Avoid getting too familiar with your partner that you lose touch on how affectionate they can be.
- Avoid keeping secrets. Secrets have a way of breaking the bond between partners when they come to light.
by Happiness Hassan | Jul 22, 2021 | Family & Parenting
Training children Is a hectic job to do as there are lots of do’s and don’ts to be addressed to them. Kids are extremely sensitive and are fast learners, they are mostly action followers in the terms of behavioural traits that’s why there are things you shouldn’t do in front of them. The saying “ practice what you preach” is very important as a parent because kids are mostly affected by your actions and to ensure their good and productive upbringing, you have to be careful with what you display in front of them. Below are seven things you shouldn’t do in front of your children.
What You Shouldn’t Do in Front of Your Kids
1. Avoid the Use of Foul Language When Communicating With Your Kids
The use of foul language such as “you are useless”, “ stupid child ”, “your are a mistake”, ”I wish you were never born”, etc, on a child, leaves a bad mark on his mental health which also leads to a lack of confidence and fear towards you. A child being treated in such a manner yields little or no productivity, he also develops fear towards you which makes it hard for him to share his little problems with you as his parents and he tends to treat people he comes in contact with, in such a manner.
So as a parent, you ought to mind the words to say in front of your children.
2. It’s Wrong to Argue With Your Spouse in Front of Your Kids
In every relationship, arguments are inevitable, one thing leads to another causing exchanging of words, yelling, slamming of doors, and at times physical fights, but as parents, you ought to try and control your temper when in front of your children.
Every child needs love and care but constant arguments make the atmosphere unconducive for the child’s upbringing, most times the child becomes moody or sad so that’s why arguments, misunderstandings should be managed properly.
3. Avoid Smoking and Drinking Alcohol in the Presence of Your Kid
Most people do this to calm their nerves down but as a parent, doing this in front of a child isn’t advisable at all. Smoking and drinking don’t just affect your internal organs but also your mental health and social well-being.
No parents would be proud to see their children practicing such activities due to the consequences afterward so to avoid that, it has to start with you.
4. Never Ill-treat or Speak Poorly of Others in Front of Your Kids
Like they say; charity begins at home. Most ill-mannered people you come across with are due to their bad upbringing. One of the duties of, a parent is to train your child to respect and treat people with humility in his everyday life but when you as a parent constantly treat people badly or speak poorly about them in front of your children, they develop such character.
5. It’s Irresponsible to Spend Too Much Time on the Screen While Your Kids are Watching
We are in a computer age and this has not only become a problem for children but adults (parents) too, because the time being spent on gadgets is excessively too much. Wastage of time, yielding little or no productivity, depression, etc are the results of spending lots of time on gadgets.
A child spending lots of time on gadgets more than his books scores low in test and this makes the child feel like a failure so as a parent you have to control the time been spent on gadgets for your child and yourself as they follow in your footsteps.
6. It’s Improper to Compare Your Kids to Others
No one likes to be compared to someone who appears better at doing things than you. Children need encouragement when they fail at something rather than being compared to other kids who did better, as a parent you shouldn’t compare your child to other kids because comparison only reduces the child’s self-esteem and confidence.
Children need encouragement to do things better especially when trying new things, so the comparison shouldn’t be done in front of them because it only discourages them.
7. Telling Lies in Front of Your Kids Gives You a Bad Image
As earlier said, one of the parents’ major duties is teaching the child morals. Telling lies in front of a child, no matter how petty it is, teaches the child that there is nothing wrong with lying. To train your child’s tongue, it has to start with you.
Conclusion
In conclusion, parents should be cautious with what they do or say in front of their children. Children learn every day so it’s your duty as the parent to teach them good morals in a healthy and conducive environment and we should always bear in mind that whatever has been displayed In front of a child appears right to them.
In addition, feel free to share your thoughts regarding this post below.
by Johnson Temiloluwa | Jun 3, 2021 | Personal Growth, Business & Finance
In a world where everyone now looks to be a “CEO”; how can you stand out from the crowd. I know a good dish for successful and outstanding entrepreneurship, I’m sure you are interested in the recipe. Let’s dive into those qualities. Maybe a cup of this or that and a mix or whisk of the other makes a dish, sometimes it isn’t always straightforward. However, 10 qualities are necessary for every entrepreneur to possess to have a successful journey. Mix them however you want to, just make sure they are all in the mixture.
Effective Qualities Every Entrepreneur Should Have
1. Honesty is a Key Quality for Every Entrepreneur
This is truly the best policy. It takes the top stop among the qualities every entrepreneur should have.
How honest are you with yourself? How honest are you with your clients? Again, how honest are you with your achievement? How honest are your products and their qualities? Are you the entrepreneur that shows customers a quality picture but delivers an inferior product? How fair is your pricing?
According to Thomas Jefferson, “honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom” and William Shakespeare said, “no legacy is so rich as honesty”.
Wikipedia defines honesty as a facet of moral character that connotes positive and virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness, straightforwardness, including straightforwardness of conduct, along with the absence of lying, cheating, theft, etc, and also involves being trustworthy, loyal, fair, and sincere.
Be all of these things and your reputation will thank you.
2. Resilience
I call this elasticity. How elastic can you get?
This is a trait that you should have if you want to journey into entrepreneurship. Look at the top entrepreneurs—Elon Musk, Steve Jobs, Folorunsho Alakija, Tony Elumelu— their success stories are built on their ability to keep pushing.
When life troubles come knocking; when sales levels are dwindling and processes aren’t working; do not stay down; refuse to bounce back. Be elastic. Life is not always linear.
3. Good Listening Skills
If you want to be a successful entrepreneur, you should probably learn to not just listen but listen attentively. Listening is a highly sought soft skill and entrepreneurs with this skill can understand their customers and build strong relationships with them. Good listening skills also allow you to learn about your industry and product through feedback; which gives you the ability to improve. It is among the inevitable qualities every entrepreneur should have.
If you don’t know how to listen, you should learn to.
4. Every Entrepreneur Must Learn the Attitude of Patient
Some people were born patient while some people just have a high tendency of getting angry; these types of people are the ones that need to cultivate how to be patient. Being patient is beneficial especially to you as an entrepreneur. It strengthens your ability to control your reactions, enables you to keep calm in times of hardship, and prevents you from losing people (team members or clients) especially you are tempted to lash out at them.
5. Courage is Among the Qualities Every Entrepreneur Should Have.
This is strength in the face of fear, grief, loss, failure, or confusion. It is a quality that makes a worthy entrepreneur.
Courage is taking a decision even in the face of fear. It is the ability to take calculated risks—one quality that makes good entrepreneurs stand out from the crowd.
6. Every Entrepreneur Need to Learn About Time Management
Personally and professionally, having control of your time is an essential part of productivity. The ability to manage your time is proportional to how you maximize profits and potentials. You might have a truckload of work, shuffling and managing your time all through determines how efficiently you sort all of the things you need to do out.
As an entrepreneur, managing your time appropriately also keeps you organized as you have time allocated to different things that you plan to do. Life is easier to wade through when it is organized.
7. Good Networking Skills
People are essential to your growth as an entrepreneur and that’s why you should set out to meet people. This doesn’t mean walking down the street to stalk or harass people.
I mean go to places that align with your goals and what you want to make out of life and talk to people that interest you.
A maxim that applies here is; your network is your net worth.
Meet qualify that will add value to your life. The ability to be a good networker is one desirable quality that helps entrepreneurs build meaningful and profitable connections.
8. Passion
I am passionate about photography, writing, and frying plantain. I love doing these three things.
These are what I am passionate about and I have turned them all into a source of income. What are you passionate about?
There’s a rush of emotion that comes with creating or doing what I love, the thrill and passion are there and it makes me effective and responsible for something.
Passion is a universal quality amongst entrepreneurs. Try thinking about something you love and inject passion into it. Passion helps you to keep pushing even on the days when the profit hits rock bottom.
9. Adaptability
Failure to plan is planning to11 fail but sometimes, plans fail too. Things don’t always the way we want them to and that is sad and unfortunate.
But, on this road to success and being an outstanding entrepreneur, changing at a turn that has failed and adapting to situations that arise is key.
Adaptability was added to the characteristics of living things and it wasn’t a mistake. Things can change even when you have a perfect business plan, so what do you do? Adapt.
10. Be Valuable as an Entrepreneur
The quality of an entrepreneur is in the value they have to offer. Why should anyone want to talk or network with you? Why would anyone want to buy your product? And also, why should anyone listen to you?
Just like the millennial men say now in their quest for a wife, “what can you bring to the table?”
Make people feel your presence and let them be sure that you have a thing to put on the table or you have the table itself. Make your product one that solves a problem and offers high value.
Conclusion
People only connect with people that they can gain or learn from. So also people buy things that are valuable to them. Figure out the value you can offer to people.
by Johnson Temiloluwa | Jun 3, 2021 | Business & Finance
Every entrepreneur has a list of failures before their success stories as mistakes are inherent in life. It’s a normal phenomenon. However, common mistakes entrepreneurs are bound to happen and there are some that are avoidable if carefully thought about. Firstly, who is an entrepreneur?
An entrepreneur is generally defined as an individual who organizes or operates a business or business. In my own opinion, an entrepreneur is a person who starts a business or many firms, discovers and solves problems, and is creative, imaginative, opportunist, risk-taker, self-starter, and open-minded with the hopes of profiting from the venture.
Now that we know this, let’s take a run down through common mistakes entrepreneurs make in Nigeria.
Common Mistakes Most Entrepreneurs Make
1. Inadequate Capital
There’s something called “starters financial pit”. It is when an entrepreneur or startup desperately stays to search for funding 2 to 3 months after the launching of the startup.
It is highly advisable to get an extra stream of income or a stable one – it can include friends, investors, or even family members. Making sure the financial assistance coming from the source(s) is indeed stable and reliable is an important step that every entrepreneur should do. A minimum of 6 months financial buoyancy plan should be drawn and managed.
Starters’ financial pit is one that every entrepreneur wishes to never be in, but somehow end up in. You can avoid it by making adequate financial preparations.
2. A No-Plan Game
The popular phrase, “failure to plan is planning to fail” is indeed true. It is not only a common mistake every entrepreneur makes in Nigeria, but it is an impractical and unrealistic way to start a business or startup as an entrepreneur.
Plan is a detailed formulation of a program of action OR an orderly arrangement of parts of an overall design or objective.
Without a detailed formulation of a set of actions as an entrepreneur, it’s a failed start-up already before it even started.
This mistake of the no-plan game can be avoided by just having a plan. A well-thought plan. A plan includes Market research, content strategy, running ads, and many others.
3. Putting Together the Wrong Team
A team thrives and grows on teamwork. An ineffective and unproductive team fails at teamwork and fails at the business entirely. For the growth of any business, knowledgeable personnel that handle specific roles are highly needed.
Having a great team in place is equal to having an indispensable asset in your business. Find the right team and set business to sail.
4. Monetizing an Invaluable Business
I defined an entrepreneur as a person who discovers and solves problems. If you are not solving a problem, you are not an entrepreneur. A business is set to fail if it doesn’t have a target audience and targeted problems.
People put their money and trust in places that give value, something of relative importance to them. As an entrepreneur, if you do not have that, it’s a failed one right at the beginning, even more so monetizing an invaluable business. Value is offering a better solution to a problem than the existing products, providing a cost-effective product, and standing out, by bringing a unique approach to a business.
This is one common mistake every entrepreneur makes in Nigeria. It is bad enough that businesses are ventured into without the aim of providing value. It is worse because you just want to make a name and money by running a business on vibes and zero value. Think of business as a give-and-take situation. You give value and take their money.
5. Wrong Partnership
A business partner is meant to make the whole bulk of running a business simpler, and fun sometimes.
The problem will be if the partnership is one that doesn’t share the same views, visions, and plan for the business.
There will be disparity and in the long run, failure.
Getting a partner that shares the same views in any partnering entrepreneurship is key.
6. Not Improving Entrepreneurial Skills
An entrepreneur’s personal improvement is the improvement of the business. Don’t stay stagnant, make an effort to increase your standard and skills. You have most likely dodged a bullet if you take this step.
7. Poor Marketing
A business thrives on marketing. People become aware of what you do as an entrepreneur when you market it to them.
Sadly, this is one common mistake every entrepreneur makes. They focus on just one type of marketing strategy instead of being dynamic with it. Draw a marketing plan that targets every kind of customer.
8. Extravagant Office Set-Up
It’s no longer news that the world business is largely remote in this century and time. An extravagant office setup might be needless or not of topmost priority. If a workplace should be set up, it should be invested wisely.
9. Ignoring Customers’ Feedbacks
Feedbacks help to spot mistake and flaws in businesses. It also helps in understanding what the customers need and expect from you. In addition, it builds improvement and ignoring it will definitely wreck the business.
Also, poor customer’s service is a turn-off and a bad look for entrepreneurs
10. Obsessed With Competition
Focus on building the best possible business. If you are great, people will notice and opportunities will appear.
Mark Cuban
There is no win in an obsessive competition. It only leaves you worrying and never evaluating your growth. Furthermore, having a competitive spirit has its perks but only when it is healthy. Focus your energy on building your startup and being good at the values you give.
Conclusion
Trial and error might be a failure but, don’t stay there. Try and try again. Make sure you are avoiding common mistakes entrepreneurs make too while at it.
