by Aisha Zakari | Nov 8, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
“Communication is Key.”
We’ve all heard this saying before, it’s not only relating to relationships but also friendship, family, work, and business. Communication is key to any successful relationship. May I add even to any healthy relationship? Yes!
Communication is expressing, sharing, showing, and voicing ideas, feelings, emotions, and even signals from the eyes to body language and even hands. It is about expressing yourself, paying attention to your significant other. In addition, with communication comes listening and understanding, with both – an effective relationship.
You could be a great talker in a relationship but not a listener or be a listener and not a talker, it doesn’t work that way. You have to be both giving and receiving the same energy you want from your partner. It’s essential in a relationship to communicate. It may sound simple and easy, but remember, it’s always the little things that matter and makes a vast difference.
Yes, couples quarrel and disagree but they try to do so in a compassionate and effective way to save their relationship and do little things to reach out to each other to avoid getting things out of control. Be observant about the little things. Here are ways to improve communication in a relationship;
10 Ways to Improve Communication in Your Relationships
1. Ask Questions Like: How was your day?
This question can be answered by just anyone with “I’m fine” but coming from your partner is different, completely different.
Be extra. This question should be answered in detail, talk about how your day went, what you ate, how you got to work, how your boss looked so funny, or what you did all day.
With this question, you’re in touch and in sync with your partner. It also helps you both communicate as you both don’t run out of what to say and even if you do, tomorrow is another day to keep it going. Check in with your partner every day!
This is a way to improve communication in a relationship, invest in it.
2. Avoid Overthinking It
Did he do this? Did he do that?
Hey! Stop that! It takes two to work in a relationship. Stop overthinking about what they are doing. It’s always never worth it. You end up getting worked up over nothing. Instead, reach out to your partner and talk to about ways to improve communication in the relationship.
Assuming, expecting, and overthinking lead to disappointment and your feelings getting hurt.
3. Be a Good Listener
You could be a great talker but are you a listener?
A listener in a relationship is someone who instead of walking out of a relationship actually stays back to understand where their partner’s point of view is coming from. Listen and understand why they got upset over something you think is trivial or listen to what they have to say overcoming late to a romantic date. When you talk, listen, and understand. That is the effort, a way to improve communication in the relationship.
A partner should have this quality to make a relationship peaceful. A partner should listen, understand, and always try to forgive. Relationships can be bumpy, trust me, I have been there but I still believe it takes two to work, always. Furthermore, you have to understand and try to make amends wherever you both might be wrong.
4. Encourage Communication Between You Two
Communicating gives you an effective edge to solving problems and gives you an effective relationship and a happy attitude. Problems can be solved by communicating, understanding where you went wrong, and of course, forgiving, and letting go.
To be in a relationship is to forgive because you will be with a whole different person who has to know and understand you. They are not you and you are not them. What pisses you off might not piss them off but when you do piss them off, acknowledge it and tender an apology. It inevitably grows the relationship as you get to know and understand them in the process.
Every moment is an opportunity to connect with your significant other – always respond when they try to communicate. If your partner is trying to reach out, be there for them – this is a way to improve communication in a relationship and they are showing you they want to try with you.
Talk about future plans together, your sex life, where and how you both can improve in the relationship, and how to be each other’s support system. Make efforts to meet up with your partner’s emotional needs.
5. Avoid Caviling
Avoiding finding fault or criticizing your partner is one of the ways to improve communication in a relationship. Cavilling is criticizing, blaming or finding fault in your partner over unimportant and frivolous reasons.
“Arrrgh, you did this the last time”
“This is all your fault”
These are two different scenarios, I’ll explain.
The first talks about “the last time”. This tells you this partner held on to something he/she did the last time and a repeat of it ticked them off. This is a NO when you’re in a relationship.
You should address an issue and tell your partner how that made you feel, how it affected you. Shit happens, we all know that. Your partner could do something or you could do something wrong, immediately talk it out. Don’t hold grudges. Don’t build their wrongs up. Such piling leads to bigger misunderstandings and quarrels, and that is not healthy for a relationship.
The second focuses on “your fault”. You should not nitpick or point blames to your partner over unnecessary issues that could be addressed. Resolve issues calmly. Listen first and then respond.
Remember, you don’t always have to be right and that’s why “I’m sorry” exists. Be sincere about the apology and pick the right time to discuss the issue.
6. Talk about Planned Schedules
“Hey babe, remember the meeting/deal I told you about? It’s happening today. I’ll talk to you later tonight, say 11 pm. Do take care and I love you”
Little things matter as I said. This is a “major little thing”. Here, this partner is telling and wanting his significant other to know how stressful his day will be and what time he’ll talk to her so she doesn’t worry about him. Thoughtful, right?
It means they are communicating and also reassuring their partner that they have them in their heart and will definitely reach out when they have themselves back.
This little thing is communication all in one because they know their partner will worry about them and of course, they are saying the love word – and improving communication in the relationship.
7. Always Show Appreciation
“Thank you for letting me know this beforehand. I wish you the very best of luck, babe. Of course, you’re that luck in my life. You’ve got this. I love you”
This is another effort this lover is putting to reply to his/her significant other’s message. He/she is appreciating and expressing gratitude that their partner took out the time to let them know about their schedule for the day. They are also showing support and believing in their partner and of course, telling them they are lucky in their life to boost their confidence.
You see, relationships are about effort and energy. This message might just be words but it tells a lot about their efforts and energy. More so, the way to improve communication in a relationship is by showing appreciation and gratitude for something thoughtful your partner does. It’s quite simple, you know.
“Thank you”
8. Compliment Each Other
“You’re beautiful”
“You’re smart, my wonderful man”
“You make me feel better”
“I love your eyes, your big eyes”
“I love your butt”
Always keep telling your partner what you love and appreciate about them even in the relationship. Don’t stop when you’re in a relationship. Everyone loves reassurances in a relationship, I know I do.
Getting too comfortable with each other should be a good thing as it gives you chances to communicate effectively and express yourself however you want and of course, say naughty words.
9. Discuss Your Sex Life
“I like this better”
“I like it more when you moan directly to my ear”
“I like it when you twirl your tongue”
These are ways to improve communication in a relationship – it involves a comfortable conversation around your sex life and it is effective as it makes you both better and connected.
You should discuss your sexual fantasies with your significant other, that’s why it’s essential to be comfortable around each other. It enhances your connection, trust, excitement, and leads to better sex and a rewarding relationship.
10. Don’t Forget to Flirt!
Keep up with the flirting and the complimenting. There are a lot of nasty words and gestures that get your partner riled up, blushing, and all giddy. You need that, it is healthy.
As a lady, you could just take off your clothes in a sexual manner while your partner stares at you, get all nasty and naughty as you bite down your lip. Keep up with eye contact. It matters.
Don’t lose this, it’s exciting. You necessarily don’t need to get dirty, do it for fun. Laugh about it, enjoy it. Enjoy every flirty feeling, it helps in building the relationship.
Conclusion
The reality is really, little things matter. A partner who loves and is observant about you will know what ways to improve communication in a relationship and fix upon where they might be wrong. So, build that relationship with communication.
Furthermore, having a strong base, a strong foundation goes a long way in making communication easy for you. Relationships get bumpy along the way but trust me, it is beautiful with the right person. Communicate, Understand. Love like it’s your first!
by JB Mairubutu | Nov 6, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
One thing we shouldn’t joke with is our mental health and this is why it is important to date right. Dating for all the wrong reasons would bring heartaches and premium tears. So many who have gone down this route have either died or disliked the idea of being in love. It is, therefore, important that we date the right person. This article seeks to help you know how to find the right partner.
10 Ways of Choosing the Right Partner
1. Don’t Rush
We shouldn’t want to date just for fun or to catch the cruise. This isn’t healthy or morally right at all. For this reason, one isn’t supposed to rush into a relationship. I understand that there is an adrenaline rush when we meet someone new and seem to connect and we just wanna dive into a relationship with that person. No! Fight the temptation.
It might not be easy but it is important to observe and use one’s head before dating someone. If you do this, there is a 100 and 1 % chance that you will end up with the right partner.
2. To Find the Right Person, Don’t Let Lust Lead You
The fact that you have chemistry with this person and perhaps, you’re compatible sexually doesn’t make that person the right partner. Don’t allow sexual fantasies or lust to lead you.
If you allow lust to lead you, it is obvious that you will end up with the wrong person.
3. Find Someone You Can Be Free With
One way you would know if someone is right is if you find someone you can be yourself with. Anyone who wants you to pretend or live a fake life isn’t for you. You need to be free around your partner.
You don’t need a partner that always makes you feel bad about yourself. Nah! This is surely one of the ways to find the right partner.
4. To Find the Right Person, Avoid Materialistic People
If you are into materialistic people, this point is not for you. Materialistic people tend to be very entitled. These traits are that of toxic folks. Don’t go after people who are like this. They might ruin you big time. All they care about is buying the latest shoes, bags, shirts, and always looking at competing with others.
Flee from them!
5. Build True Friendship
Looking for how to find the right partner? Build true friendship and be intentional about this. I know a couple who have been married for close to ten years and they are happy. Guess what? They started this way – by building true friendship.
If you ask them what the secret to their happy home is, they will point to this fact. They are very good friends before being lovers.
6. Learn to Love Yourself
For you to find the right partner you can love or be with, you need to love yourself. This is very paramount. It is easier to love someone when you love yourself. Please, learn to love yourself.
7. To Find the Right Partner, Be Intentional About It
Being intentional about finding the right partner will help you put a lot of factors into consideration. For instance, the qualities you want in a person, the person’s interest, the type of family, etc.
Be intentional about these things. This will help you to settle for the right person.
8. Find Someone You Can Communicate Effectively With
This is very vital. The success of a relationship is dependent on communication. I want to share a story with you:
This couple were married, let’s say two months and the wife will cook and expect the husband to come dish for himself. She didn’t see serving him as a big deal. Don’t call her names yet, perhaps, in her home, everyone was expected to go dish food themselves. It happens. Hubby didn’t like this and it kept happening for weeks. It was beginning to affect their marriage until he realized that there was a need to talk to her about it. They did and it was then he realized that she didn’t even see not serving him as a big deal. After then, she changed and the problem was solved.
Do you see how powerful communication can be? If you’re wanna end up with the right person, let it be someone you have good communication with.
9. You Must Be the Right Person Too
Looking for how to find the right partner? Be the right person first. So many people want to date the right partner and on the other hand, they aren’t the right people themselves.
For you to be the right person, you will have to curb those excesses, work on bad habits, and be humane. If you do this, then you’re worthy to look for the right person to be with.
10. Avoid Negative-Minded Folks
You see people that are full-blown pessimists, avoid them. All they do is complain and always look for negatives in situations to talk about. You will be unfair to yourself if you end up with them.
They would drain the positivity out of you and you would end up miserable. As time goes on, they might start making you feel less of yourself.
Conclusion
Going through these points and how to find the right partner wouldn’t be a puzzle to you anymore. I hope you enjoyed your read. If you do, kindly leave a comment in the comments section. Thank you.
Always visit this blog for engaging reads. Ciao!!
You could also read on: 10 Things You Must Do at the Start of Every Relationship
by Abu Hafsah | Oct 26, 2021 | Personal Life
Life can be trickish. It’s not always how you want it to be. Things happen – some you are proud of and some you aren’t; some are mistakes on your part while some, you have no control over. In this article, I have come to share with you some of the things I learned late in life. Relax and enjoy your read.
8 Things I have Learned Late in Life
1. Certification Doesn’t Guarantee a Job
Na this one dey vex me pass, aswear.
When this country was actually a country one can proudly call his own, everything seems to be normal. Everything was available at a platter of gold. Nothing was too difficult to accomplish or get as long as you follow the proper channel of achieving it.
Back then, as soon as you are done studying at the University, an automatic job awaits you, and probably a car and a crib. Because of that, my parents thought certification was the ultimate way of securing a job in this country and that there was little or no need to teach me trading or any other skill aside from education.
Nowadays, the reverse is the case. You need luck and/or connections to seek a job. I graduated in the year 2012. Well, we thank God for what the certificate has got us so far, but it’s nothing to write home about because it isn’t commensurate with the efforts I have put in while studying. I then realized that had it been I had a skill earlier other than only education, my life now would’ve never been the same. I realized the best possible way to survive in this country isn’t only by studying, but having a skill.
Don’t just have the skill; be so good at it that you can’t be ignored.
2. I Should Have Married Earlier
Marriage is something one engages in life. It’s a union consisting of a husband, a wife, and their child(ren). I used to have this feeling that I’m still young and I should at least enjoy my life before I take in a responsibility; that my head is not yet ripe to settle down (which I know to be very untrue). I kept on lying to myself in that manner until now that I’m in remorse.
I’m not comparing my life to that of others but I can’t help it when I see my friends and age mates with their beautiful kids, I wish I’m in their shoes. Well, it won’t be for long before I join them.
3. I Never Should Have Shown I Was a Workaholic
I used to work in a private school some years back. Initially, I was employed as an Administrative Officer but eventually, I became the Accountant, Bursar, Store Officer, and the Secretary of the school. Initially, I was complimented a lot. We all know how private schools are. Once you show them you are competent or a workaholic, they will drain the last blood in you. I kept on complaining about the workload and they kept making empty promises. None of my records was 100% okay because of the workload and they are financially buoyant to get people to work on those positions.
The worse is that they stopped showing appreciation. I became so lean as if they were paying me with electric shock. Because of my diligence, I became so available whenever they needed me. Basically, I had no weekends!
God so kind, I got another job so I tendered my resignation. It came to the management as a surprise. The founder of the school – who was the number one in complaining called me and talked to me in a manner he had never before, trying to convince me. He was even saying my future in the school is far better than the job I got. How absurd! That was when I realized I was an asset to the school unknowingly.
Nevertheless, I still left the school. Now and then, when they are behind schedules on certain school activities, they seek my help. From then henceforth, I have become a normal employee anywhere I find myself.
An wuce wurin!
4. Never Believe Anything Your Partner Says, Verify First
Never believing anything your partner tells you until you verify is one of the things i learned late in life. I was dating this beautiful girl back in 2014. We met online. It all started as a friendship. I only see it like that, but she was on the opposite side of the coin. I made it clear to her that I’m not interested in any relationship until I’m ready to settle down. One thing led to another, she changed my intention. We started dating. During the course of dating, I made mention that I will never marry a woman older than I am.
Long story short, we dated for 3 years and even considered forming a marriage union. Four months to the proposed wedding date, we fell apart. Do you know why? I had a feeling she lied about her age to me. I got to know that when I asked her for her certificates so my brother could submit a job proposal for her in his workplace.
She initially agreed but later called and said her dad took it there already. It got me thinking. I know I’m not dumb not to have seen her certificates even once, but surprisingly, something took my mind off it; I guess that four-letter word was responsible.
So I asked my bro to help check the submissions they have. To my guess, hers wasn’t there. Then I began recalling some instances that their dots weren’t connecting. I pressurized her into letting me see her certificates so I could verify, but she adamantly refused and kept on giving me flimsy excuses.
After 2 weeks of grace, I bailed out of the relationship without a word. Since then, even if I see a nose in between a lady’s eyes and mouth, I ask if it’s really a nose. Call me crazy all you want, but once beaten, twice shy.
5. I Wish I Started Content Writing Earlier
Content writing is something entirely new in my life. It is one of the things I learned late in life; this is why.
I could remember during the Covid-19 Pandemic in 2020, my brother, the Founder of this blog asked if I would like to be one of his writers. I didn’t say no but wasn’t really interested. So I just kept it aside. He also asked me a couple of times too, but my attitude towards it was the same; nothing changed.
In July 2021, he asked again if I can be one of his Editors not Writers anymore and I said yes. That was how my content writing journey kick-started. While editing content on the blog, I realized… hey Abu Hafsah, why don’t you give this a trial? And that was it!
The first article to my credit was 9 Things to Know Before You Marry a Hausa Lady which was published on the 15 of August 2021. And guess what? It ranked well on the google search engine.
Now, this is where my regret is. Of recent, I saw an advert on Upwork for a content writer. I decided to apply and I was interviewed that same day. The pay was very good. Unfortunately, they needed someone with 20 articles and above. Only if I had started writing earlier, would I have gotten the offer.
6. Mere Assisting a Lady in Need or Showing Her Care Could Mean to Her You Are Interested
Women are very special beings. They are different from us men and so, react differently to situations. I noticed that when you give most ladies a helping hand when they need you or give your shoulder to them to cry on, they easily mistake it for love.
If you are a woman, you need to understand that that’s not how some of us think. We just saw a woman in need and decided to help, shikenan!
I’m the kind of person who has so much respect for women. Yeah, ask people around me to verify. I believe a lady is a special being that needs to be cared for and not be allowed to do anything stressful like hard labour. Their body system isn’t like ours. Assist them whenever they need you and treat them right. However, there is an exception to this; arrogant women, toxic women, and women who don’t know they are woman.
Because of that soft spot in me for ladies, I have had many cases like this. They were so many that I had to start caring and assisting less. Now, a lady has to be very very much in need before I assist. Though, sometimes, I can’t help but give them what (help) they need. Lolz. It’s already a part of me.
7. I Wish I Had Memorized the Holy Qur’an
This is also one of the things i learned late in life. The Holy Qur’an is a book we Muslims believe in. It was revealed by God to His beloved Prophet (Muhammad PBUH) bit by bit over the course of 23 years. Memorizing all of it has its special reward according to Islamic teachings.
Back when I was very young, I use to have a retentive memory and can assimilate a lot without even trying so hard. I can remember in 1997 when this song “I’ll Be Missing You” was released; one of my brothers wanted to memorize the song and so decided to write it down. It wasn’t easy to get the lyrics of a song because we weren’t exposed to the internet and there are no sophisticated phones either. If you want to get the lyrics, you will have to play the song on a radio, listen carefully, and write it down. It is very tedious as you need to be rewinding over and over again, using a BIC pen if your radio has no rewind button. Kai jama’a, an sha bakar wuya da.
To his greatest surprise, before he could even memorize the song, I already have and I wasn’t even the one writing! In addition, most of the Surahs or Verses in the Holy Qur’an I have memorized were just by mere listening.
I wished that talent in me was harnessed and channelled towards memorizing the Holy Qur’an. Now I want to, seriously want to but the hayaniya of this country won’t let me, and my memory retention ability isn’t as good as it used to be back then.
8. I Wish I Wasn’t a Nigerian, Lols
Last but not the least is this. As much as I love my country and try to be patriotic to it, I’m not happy living in it. With the recent insecurity challenges and the prices of goods skyrocketing, and a couple of other malfunctions, no patriotic Nigerian is.
Nothing one can do in Nigeria without fear; travelling, strolling, farming, spending, praying (in churches and mosques), even sleeping in your house for fear of bandits or kidnappers.
Haba! E too much na.
I know this is something predetermined by the Almighty so, one has no control over it. Amma da a wani kasa aka haifan, ko ina ne, da tuni na ware.
Conclusion
The above-mentioned are some of the things I learned late in life that I wish I knew earlier. I hope you enjoyed having a taste of some parts of my life.
What’s yours?
by Aisha Zakari | Oct 16, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
Planning a first date can be nerving, overwhelming, and awkward but most people pay attention to other things and rarely focus on things to say and things to not say on a first date. Dates are usually formal for the first time as people get to know each other better, look for the best location and select the perfect outfit.
In this post, I’ll be making a list of those words and sentences you shouldn’t utter on a date. Let’s talk.
1. Leave Your Business Out of It
You are a person of ambition and success doesn’t mean you have to put it all up in your date’s face talking about how much you’re worth or how many houses you own. By doing this, you come off to your date as being rude, impolite, boastful, and cocky; this just ruins the chance of a second date. There is a thin line between being confident and boastful so try to balance this and make it clear to your date in the politest way.
A tip I’ll give here is to make sure you’re not talking about yourself the entire time. Engage with your date, ask them about their dreams and aspirations, what they would like to be. Give them attention, a listening ear and with this, an interesting conversation ensues. Get to know them better, that’s why it’s a date.
2. Politics and Religion Are a Huge Turn-off
People are different and definitely have preferences, choices, and opinions but when it comes to me, things not to say on a first date are politics and/or religion.
As passionate and interesting politics may be for you, it may not be for the other party. As such, avoid mentioning this as a conversation on a first date. In a way, politics and religious topics tend to upset people because there will be room for heated debates and different opinions. This is a date to get to know each other not to know why the Buhari’s wedding souvenirs was what it was.
But if your date is into politics, oh my then ride on. It’s your date after all.
3. Do Not Bring Up Your Ex
I must confess, I’ve been here before, and believe me, I messed up things with someone. Took me a while to realize and admit but oh well. Talking about how Isah stood you up or how Hauwah cheated on you with your best friend is a major No. Leave negative Isah and Hauwah at home!
Bringing up your ex on the first date sends the wrong messages to your date. It sends:
- You’re still stuck and very much in love with them
- You are instantly a turn-off
- You’re a baggage
People don’t claim baggage in their life. I mean they want a happy relationship with someone that is not difficult or wishes her ex were still with them. Rather, focus on this person sitting in front of you, get to know them, explore new relationships. Past relationships could be talked about later in the future when you’ve created a strong bond and relationship with them.
4. “You look better in pictures”
Hold up, what’s that? That is completely unnecessary and should not be uttered to someone at all and definitely not a thing to say on a first date. For me, I believe when it comes to social media and posting, deciding on a picture to make public can be quite difficult and whatever a person posts, they believe that is their best.
What your date looks like offline and online shouldn’t be a topic of discussion even if you think they don’t look good. It’s either you point it out in a polite way or don’t tell them at all. Saying such words immediately kills their confidence and self-esteem. That is not how you want to go down this road with this new person you just met.
5. “I’m not looking for anything serious”
Sigh, were you asked? Zip that mouth already! Your date is not a hook-up or a one-night stand and neither are they cheap or wasting their time coming on this date with you. Saying such utterances is not a thing and should be off the record.
Yes, going on a date with someone means opening up to new exploration and ideas of relationships but not all the time. Dates could be harmless sometimes, you could end up being just friends with them and that’s okay.
6. Leave The Marriage Talk Out of It
There is no need to scare your date off with the plans you’ve had to have 3 kids named Hassana, Abdullahi, and Muhammad. Dates should be something fun and thrilling to do, not nerve-wracking and asking tricky questions such as:
- “Where do you see this relationship heading in 3years from now?” My dear, it’s not an interview!
- “Do you see me as wife material?”
It’s a date, have fun and get to know each other better. If anything will happen along the line, let it come naturally.
7. Put That Phone Down
This is my top list. When you’re on a date for the first time, your phone should be put away at all times. You’re on this date to talk, socialize, chat, get to know each other better, and have fun.
It is rude to even check your phone on a date unless it’s an emergency or something serious and your attention is needed. Remember, this person took the time out of their day for this date, make it count.
8. Own Up to Yourself
You don’t need to apologize for what you’re wearing or how you look or why a pimple popped out on your face this wonderful evening. However, your look and whatever you’re wearing, shouldn’t be a thing to worry about.
Words like that are things to not say on a first date as this tells them that you’re insecure and that you need reassurances to how you look. And this, my dear inevitably becomes a huge turn-off for them. You don’t need anyone’s validation to feel and look amazing.
Remember, first impressions always matter, and on dates, this tends to determine if you’ll be getting a second one or not. So, blow their minds away.
9. Past Sexual Experiences
This is a complete No on a first date. You do not ask your partner such and you definitely should not talk about your own sexual experiences. It is of no use to both of you at that particular place and time.
The sole aim of this date is to know each other. So, instead of talking about how you went three rounds, why not ask about your date’s dreams or what kind of pet he/she likes? Talk about something interesting and leave that out of the equation.
10. Keep the Attitude Away
It is believed that a way to know a person’s character is how they behave with people around them; for example, the waiter/waitress and staff at the date location. So, be on your best behaviour and be kind to people to impress your date. Remember, not only on a date night should this be done. Be kind always, let humanity live.
Conclusion
Now that you’ve read these things to not say on a first date, go ahead and lookup for the best location and the perfect outfit. Go on that date, have fun and give your date a fun-filled conversation they will not forget and will definitely ask for another.
I’ll be here in the comment section, tell me how that date goes.
by Precious Alex-Toji | Oct 16, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
Have you ever wondered how to build healthy relationships? Are you like me, who after watching “The Sun is Also a Star”, wished for a relationship that was both mutual and healthy?
The good thing is, I found the recipe on how to build a healthy relationship. Being in a relationship can be an exciting experience, especially when it’s at its early stage. Your heart skips and you develop goosebumps at the sound of your partner’s voice. The real test comes when the relationship progresses.
As time goes on, you get to discover what you like and dislike about your partner. Conflicts arise and if this is not handled properly, it can build up to an unhealthy relationship. This article seeks to help you avoid that.
These 10 Tips Can Show You How to Build a Healthy Relationship
1. Being Respectful Can Encourage the Growth of a Healthy Relationship
A relationship where both partners have respect for one another is a recipe for building a healthy relationship. Naturally, it is courtesy to be respectful to people. Just because you’re familiar with your partner does not give you the chance to be rude. This is very obvious during arguments.
Arguments are parts of a relationship you can’t avoid. Dear, it comes with the package. Knowing that arguments are bound to happen can help you maintain decency during such a period. You can have an argument without necessarily fighting.
Watch what you say when you’re angry. Avoid cursing and calling each other names when having a fight. Some words cannot be taken back when said.
2. Listening to Each Other Can Help Build a Healthy Relationship
In this era of social media, trends, and news, it is so odd that so much is being said and little is being heard. While it is true that communication strengthens relationships, sometimes all your partner needs are your listening ears. So, be a good listener.
Your partner’s view may be opposite to yours. As tempting as it may feel to object, the logical action to take is to listen. The bright side of this is, you get to know the thoughts of your partner, while also serving as a safe space for them and preventing arguments.
3. Be Ready to Apologize When You’re at Fault
Being apologetic when you do something wrong helps build healthy relationships. Being able to say “sorry” when you’re wrong is a necessary skill for building a healthy relationship. Apologizing when at fault shows you understand that you’re wrong and you care about how your partner feels. It also helps you both sort out the issue as it occurs without letting negative feelings stay long.
While it may not be your intention to hurt your partner, apologizing shows you care about the relationship. Admitting your fault and taking steps to ensure such an issue does not reoccur builds transparency and trust.
4. Setting Boundaries in Your Relationship Can Build a Healthy Relationship
Boundaries are limits to what you can or cannot condone. Respecting each other’s set boundaries can help build a healthy relationship.
Setting boundaries allows you to connect with your partner without having to let go of your standards. Healthy relationships thrive when partners know and respect each other’s boundaries. For example, when it comes to sexual intimacy, setting boundaries can help your partner know what activities you’re comfortable with.
Learn the habit of setting boundaries as it allows you to grow into a relationship at your own pace and standards.
5. Effective Communication Is the Foundation to Building Healthy Relationships
A fundamental part of building a healthy relationship is learning how to effectively communicate with each other.
Good communication is a skill that requires learning and patience. It goes two ways: Effective Communication and Effective Listening. When good communication is established, you inevitably experience a positive emotional connection with your partner.
Here’s how you can communicate effectively:
- Never assume your partner knows your needs. It is your position to let them know how you feel.
- Make sure your message is clear, easy to understand, and courteous. Sometimes, the issue is not the message but how it is presented.
- Pay attention to your partner’s body language. Are they sad, hyperactive, or tired?
Take into consideration your partner’s emotions when communicating. If you’re not conscious of their emotions, you can unconsciously damage the connection between the both of you. Effective communication surely helps build healthy relationships.
6. Creating Time for Yourself Away from Your Partner
As strange as this might sound, you must create space for yourself outside your relationship.
While spending time with the one you love is essential, it is important that you also have time for yourself. Couples who spend time together without having time for themselves outside the relationship tend to “get used” to each other and eventually lose the craving they had from the onset.
If your partner wants to contact you at all times or expects that you account for all your actions outside of the relationship, this can come off as being too controlling or too dependent.
As a lady, have a fun time with your girls. Go out, have some non-alcoholic drinks, chase your goals. As a guy, play video games with your boys and watch that football match.
Being close with your partner is important. However, it is also important that closeness does not affect your life outside of the relationship.
7. Express Admiration and Appreciation for Each Other
We all love to be admired and appreciated. That little “You look gorgeous today” and “Thank you for this gift” always put a smile on our faces.
In a relationship, it is healthy for both partners to show appreciation to each other. When your partner goes out of the way for you, be inclined to express your thanks. Words like “Thank you”, “I’m grateful” and actions such as buying gifts, flowers, and surprises are ways to express appreciation.
According to research, one of the reasons long-term couples split up was that one of the partners no longer showed enough affection and attention as they used to. Do not get too familiar with your partner. When they look dead gorgeous, say it. Let them know what you think of their looks and bodies.
8. Intimacy in a Relationship Can Foster a Healthy Relationship
Intimacy helps build healthy relationships. The term intimacy has come to be associated with sex. While consensual sex may be part of being intimate, it’s not the only way of being intimate. Intimacy is the feeling of closeness or openness towards someone else, not necessarily involving sexuality.
Intimacy can be likened to the bond between a mother and child. At infancy, a child would always want to be near the mother. Simple things like hugs, touches, and even kisses matters to the child. As we grow up, these tendencies do not end with infancy.
As partners in a relationship, you both must get intimate with each other. When in public, hold hands together. Watch a movie together wrapped in a duvet while it rains. Frequently, dish out words of affection.
9. Resolving Conflicts Together Can Strengthen Your Relationship
Every human interaction is bound to have conflicts and this is perfectly okay. Both of you will have differences and mindsets and this can sometimes lead to conflicts. Rather than avoid conflicts, it is better to resolve them as they occur. Avoiding conflicts can lead to bottled-up feelings, stress, distancing, and inevitably break-up.
Conflicts are good. It strengthens the bond in a relationship because it helps identify the likes and dislikes of both partners. It becomes an issue when it occurs frequently and is left unresolved.
Communication is the best way to resolve conflicts. Remember that effective communication occurs when the message is clear, easy to understand by the receiver.
Talk with your partner to see their perspective of the issue and communicate your perspective too. Take into consideration your emotions and theirs and be patient. Try to reach an agreement that suits both of you.
10. Honesty Between Partners Builds a Healthy Relationship
This cannot be overemphasized enough! No relationship built on lies can survive the test of time.
When you talk to your partner about your day, do not hide details you feel. This would be an issue later on. They should hear it from you than from an outside source.
If something is bothering you, be open to express it with your partner. Sometimes, trying to hide details you feel might be irrelevant. When you do this, you not only hurt your partner but your honesty becomes questioned.
Conclusion
A healthy relationship is such an amazing experience. It, however, requires the effort of both partners involved.
Communication with each other can help build intimacy and connection. In the process of communicating, conflicts will arise. Resolve the conflict gently without flaring up or cursing; nothing good comes out of these anyways.
More so, create time to spend with each other, volunteer together, read together, and listen to music together. Actions like these build connections between partners.
If you have found your knight in shining armor or your Cinderella with her lost shoes, practice these tips on how to build healthy relationships and watch your relationship become #relationshipgoals.
Make some comments below in the comments section if you find this article helpful. Thank you.
