Conflict of interest in career choice between parents and their children is one of the factors igniting family dispute, which eventually terminates the love, trust, unity, understanding, and harmony in a home. Oftentimes, propels children to rebel against their parents. However, to avert disheartening statements in the future such as I hate what I do and life is miserable for me because my parents are forcing me into a career I dislike, it’s best if you speak up in the right way.
Reasons Why Parents Choose Careers for Their Children
It’s wrong for parents to force their children into careers they have little or no passion for. In essence, a career is a lifetime occupation that requires you to make the decision yourself and not your parents. However, parents believe they know what’s best for their children and are in the position to decide what career they should venture into, besides they pay the bills.
Reasons for this are traced to a parental desire for a socially recognized career, careers with more job opportunities, and a selfish reason to preserve their family status. Learn more about the role of parents in their child’s career choice.
Know That Rebelling is not an Option
My parents are forcing me into a career and I’m not interested, what can I do? Ahmad laments. His family wants him to become a doctor. Unfortunately, he grew up in a family passionate about medical sciences. His dad is a doctor, his mom a pharmacist, while his sister is into the nursing profession.
They own a private hospital. His dad continually reminded him of heading to the family hospital someday. Ahmad had something entirely different from what his parents wanted for him.
His passion was architecture, being scared of disobeying his parents he kept quiet and devised his scheme. Unknowingly to his parents, he had a change of course and for years lied to his parents hoping to convince him his excellent grades in architecture having graduating. Surprisingly, the reverse was the case. His deceit brought enmity between him and his parents shattered their love and trust for him.
Moreover, if you find yourself in Ahmad’s story you don’t have to remain silent at the expense of your happiness nor should you rebel.
Here is What You Should Do If You Are Forced Into A Career You Don’t Like
1. Understand Your Parents
Your parents forcing you into a career probably have something good in mind. Remember, they will not make choices that are detrimental to your well-being. Their choice might be different from yours but not a horrible option. Hence, consider their perspective. Ask yourself the reasons why your parents want you to pick a certain career, is there a selfish reason? Inquire about the benefit associated with that career path.
To be more practical, how would you react if you were in your parent’s shoes someday and your child rebels against your choice? That doesn’t seem right. You can convince them when you speak from their standpoints.
2. Communicate Your Feelings Effectively
This is a medium that helps you express how you feel towards your parent’s choice, likewise convince them about your own desired career. Silence never solves the problem of your parents forcing you into a career you dislike.
Discard the feeling of fear from your mind when approaching your parents and employ the following communication tactics.
Select Your Words Carefully
To successfully convince your parents, be mindful of your word usage, avoid using words such as you have no right over me, I am old enough to make my own choices, I have my life to live. Those kinds of words harden their heart the more.
In contrast, use words like “I trust your choice for me” “I know you have my best at heart” and more.
Moderate Your Tune
Your tune while conversing either creates a negotiable atmosphere or an uneasy one. Speak with courtesy because pleasant words spoken in a calm tune loosens up the hearts and promotes agreement.
Time Your Approach
It’s a fruitless effort attempting to convince your parents when they are stressed out or upset. Hence, observe their moods, you can also set a happy atmosphere by assisting them in completing their activities for the day or prepare a surprise meal for them before approaching them.
Have A Heart-to-heart Conversation
Your parents will always rethink when every word you express is said from your heart, putting your emotions to play. Learn more about effective communication.
3. Talk To Your Role Model
Humans are easily convinced by the good example presented to them. Therefore, become courageous to show your parents people who are successful in your desired fields, this practice assures your parents that you are not making the wrong choice.
Also, provide a thousand acceptable reasons why you choose a career entirely different from theirs, the benefits associated with the career. Likewise, their success stories remind changing agents.
4. Bring in a Third Party
Perhaps, other steps aren’t sufficient, and you are afraid of approaching your parents, then get a third party involved. However, you need to be mindful of the kinds of third parties you invite. Meanwhile, there are standard third parties capable of convincing your parents about your choice. They include your Malam, Pastor or a community leader.
Furthermore, sign up for a counselling session with a career counsellor or coach, you can also invite them over to your house to talk with your parents. These counsellors are trained in the field of career choice and conflict of Interest among parents and children, hence they know the perfect approach to apply notwithstanding how difficult your parent might be.
5. Express Your Passion
Parents are humans with natural emotions. Begin by letting your parents know how difficult their chosen career would be for you and how you might end up failing in that career path. On hearing this, most times they give their support in favour of your career because no parent wants to waste their time, resource and efforts on a career that will result in future failure.
Likewise, outline your plans and objectives for choosing your preferred career for your parents.
6. Promise And Fulfil
Take responsibility for every choice you make. Your parents might doubt your success in your desired field and force you into careerism different from your plans. However, their minds and choice can be reversed by making a promise.
For instance, committing yourself to excellence and making yourself proud when given the free will to decide for yourself. Don’t make them regret their chance of plans for you.
The steps mentioned above are an effective approach to convincing your parents. You don’t have to rebel or deceive them, instead, work towards understanding and convincing them strategically knowing that they love you and would always want the best for you.
Have you been forced into a career before? Let me know how you handled it in the comments box.