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It is a thing of joy to finally move from singlehood to the married hood. That extraordinary happiness you derive when you find your soulmate, who would make you embark on the “for better for worse, till death do us part” journey, someone who turns “micasa (my home) to sucasa (our home)”. While growing up, we learned that marriage is the union between two individuals in love, who have decided to spend the rest of their lives together, basic mathematics; “1+1= you and I”.
We also learned the conventional things every marriage needs, like commitment, compatibility, love, trust, loyalty, time, communication, endurance, perseverance, and so on. But no one ever taught us to think beyond all these conventional needs. We usually act like there is an imaginary box governing the marriage affairs, but what if we break the box, what if we act like there was no box to even begin with?
You probably stopped to think a bit, not to worry. I have come up with a list of things containing what every marriage needs. Trust me, you can add yours too, depending on how much spice you want to add to your marriage.
You might ask how friendship falls under unconventional needs. The truth is, some people skip the friendship stage and jump right into love, without realizing that friendship helps you develop tolerance, helps you build compatibility, trust, loyalty, and so on.
What every marriage needs are that little spark you get from love notes from your spouse. Remember back in school when you were trying to woo her or back at a gathering when you were trying to get his attention, remember what you did? Why stop because you are married? It doesn’t end there. You need to constantly woo her, constantly remind him of how much you love him, by sticking tiny letters in his bag or on the mirror. You can also text, whichever works for you.
Every marriage needs a special place, be it a restaurant, a beach, a gallery, where they first met, that one place that reminds you of why you decided to be with your partner. Take them there once in a while and have fun.
We shouldn’t only teach children good manners. As adults, we also need to learn good manners like, saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, picking up after ourselves, not inviting anyone into our home without asking our spouse first, continuing the act of opening the door that started while you were dating, saying ‘excuse me’, saying ‘I am sorry’ and every other good manner you can think you. This is will increase the bond between you two. Looking for what every marriage needs, try this.
Compliments are essential in a marriage as it helps a couple to communicate the admiration, gratitude, and appreciation they feel towards each other. Compliments make us feel good, whether we are receiving or giving them. It also makes us want to do more.
Respect is an essential need in every marriage. Respect means that you acknowledge that your partner is not just a means to get something you want, that your partner has a different perspective and that is ok with you. You don’t always have to agree on things, but you know how to respect his or her opinions without making a fuss about it.
Respect also means that you put aside every societal norm and value and you treat your partner like a whole person.
What every marriage needs are those little arguments. No relationship or marriage is complete without little arguments or quarrels. Arguments spring up to show the different opinions and perspectives that exist between a husband and a wife. Your ability to prevent little arguments from turning into huge ones will show how strong your marriage will turn out to be.
Every couple needs to learn how to prioritize each other. This can be achieved by spending quality time together, understanding each other’s love language, being affectionate (saying I love you every day), and so on.
Finally, a husband and wife need to understand each other’s emotional needs and how unequal they can be. Emotional needs can be in form of sexual fulfilment, intimate conversations, honesty, openness, affection, and so on.
I would like to add STRENGTH to the list. Call it conventional or unconventional, the point is, we never acknowledge the fact that it is important. Every marriage needs strength to make whatever you bring to the table work. And you can only acquire strength by building each other.
The above-mentioned points are what every marriage needs. Do not take them lightly as they help increase the bond between you and your spouse. Furthermore, I bet you will want your marriage to be a successful one. If that’s the case, you will need to focus on every point mentioned in this piece. Good luck with having a happy home.
If you find this article worthwhile, please leave a comment in the comments section. Did I miss any point? Let me know. Thank you.
You could also check: Things You Should Tell Your Daughter Intending to Get Married
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